denisovan.

FIZZ ROSE. 19. BIOCHEMIST. what if leonard hofstadter had boobs and was into biology? well, i have your answer in the form of a 5'1" biochemist: me! and if you didn't get that reference, i'm sorry but we can't be friends unless you let me make you my famous dirty popcorn, pour you a glass of sparkling cider and let me educate you on how everyone knows a sheldon cooper. ps. i'm a mother to a painstakenly loved bonsai tree and have a finned friend. i know, i'd be jealous too.

[jackie-wilde-blog]

I am amazing, but that doesn’t mean I can think of any jokes worth telling. If I stumble upon one, I’ll let you know. Can’t you label the alarm? Or you could put Post-it notes all around. Actually, maybe not. You might over feed him if you’re that forgetful. Maybe you could put a huge chart up near his bowl so you can’t miss it and can feed him properly.

[fizzjrose-blog]

Then colour me slightly disappointed but also hugely hopeful for the future. I mean, I’m no Dory. But sometimes I can be, as affectionately as my mother would say, scatter brained while also being hyper focused on other things. I guess I break the whole multitasking stereotype. He’s survived three years, so I must be doing something right.

[amaeveingflanagan-blog]

Ooh, I’ve got one! What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell.

[fizzjrose-blog]

I knew you had it in you! I’m proud! One drink on me whenever you wish.

[mcalextosh-blog]

That is utterly disgusting.. I will never ever touch kombucha. Never.

Frankly, I could never have the self control. Not that I would ever become addicted to anything labeled as “diet” as it is, but I suppose some would say I’m addicted to coffee. In my defense, my coffee is far healthier than most other’s.

[fizzjrose-blog]

It’s not disgusting! It’s really quite fascinating and truly delicious! People have been brewing kombucha far longer than most other drink creation processes. 

Coffee doesn’t really agree with me, I’m afraid. Terrible headaches. I’d blame the caffeine, but I’m a matcha girl through and through and that’s packed full of caffeine. Funny that, isn’t it?

[arabellaramon-blog]

Not at all. If I did, I would tweet a bunch of McDonalds spoilers and make money or something. I’m not sure how it would work, but it would. It was totally on the radio, though. So maybe you just need to listen to the radio more.

I don’t, but I am pretty worried about you cutting your own hair. Your hair deserves better, girl.

[fizzjrose-blog]

That would be quite the career. McDonald’s informative. Maybe I should switch course, find out their secrets and get to taste test all the delicious creations at the same time? I really should listen more. I’ve become stupidly obsessed with podcasts lately so I don’t think I’ve heard a single song in two or three weeks.

I’m not overly precious about my hair. It’s long, it’s brown, it’s slightly curly naturally. And it spends 80% of its life tied up. Besides, salons these days charge an arm and a leg for a trim and I can’t afford that in the slightest.

[emmettberry-blog]

What, that you’re a human encyclopedia? Or are you going to spew off more facts?

[fizzjrose-blog]

I wouldn’t say I’m a human encyclopedia if we’re going to be technical about it. While I can tell you all about the science of LSD, I can’t tell you anything about Napoleon. So, technically, I’d be a terrible encyclopedia. Maybe more a Scientific Dictionary?

But! I can tell you any fact you’d like to know. Just keep it vaguely science themed and I’ll tell you everything I know off the top of my head.

[emmettberry-blog]

You, good human, just got yourself a drink.

I knew you’d sea it my way.

[fizzjrose-blog]

Now, now, Mr. Pun! I only offered one drink. I can’t give you special treatment.

[wildelunatic]

It’s true, unfortunately. We should go convince Bill Nye to create a book of science jokes! 7-Eleven date? #score.

Oh, fun. I’m cuter than a guinea pig, but I guess I’ll take it.

[fizzjrose-blog]

I’m sure there’s someone out there that’s already done that. Just the patience it requires to see if they’re any good isn’t something I have at the moment - even if it is summer and I technically have nothing better to do with my free time. I mean, you know I’m always in the mood for a Big Bite. Especially with you, angel.

Luna. My dear, sweet, Luna. You are far cuter than anything else on this planet because you are, in every single way, you. 

[trentevans-blog1]

I did! He was very soft. He did that cute purr thing he always does. I couldn’t understand him, but I knew he was givin’ me some good vibes. Yoda was sufficiently green, but he coulda been greener. Yoda told me I will be starrin’ in it. Are you satisfied with my answers? What’s in Matcha tea? It sounds like it’ll be weird. I tried meditatin’ once, but I fell asleep.

[fizzjrose-blog]

You have no idea how jealous I am that you had such an amazing Star Wars trip. That is the ultimate dream right there. When you get famous, can you sneak me onto the set and let me tell Carrie that she’s beautiful and shouldn’t listen to anyone else? Very! It’s a lot of caffeine, antioxidants... All round good drink, really. I make a mean iced matcha latte. Hey, that’s okay! Meditation is all about taking time out of your day for you. And if you got so relaxed that you could sleep, then I’m pretty sure that’s the goldmine right there.

[jackie-wilde-blog]

Then I’ll just pretend I’m lucky for not finding humor in poop jokes, I guess. No, I’m good. Besides, the one you have seems to be working just fine either way. That’s nice to hear, but I stand by the alarm thing. Just to be on the safe side. 

[fizzjrose-blog]

You know what makes me sad? When amazing people won’t tell me a joke. Jokes are harmless. I’ll even settle for Isabelle Necessary on a bike! You see, the problem with an alarm is that I’ll forget what the alarm is for. I’m also not reliable enough to always have my phone near me/know where it is.

[fizzjrose-blog]

@↳INSTAGRAM @fizzjrose uploaded a new photo.

Blessed Litha! ☀️🌻 ☀️🌻 ☀️🌻

↳15 LIKES ♥, 2 COMMENTS:

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[emmettberry-blog]

I don’t know, what did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. He waved.

[fizzjrose-blog]

You, good human, just got yourself a drink.

[emmettberry-blog]

I didn’t realize I was following an encyclopedia!

[fizzjrose-blog]

You learn something new every day!

[jackie-wilde-blog]

Really? A poop joke? Are we twelve? I was even on board when you mentioned the Enterprise, but then you ruined it. Also, now you’re just being mean. All animal life is precious. Even goldfish. Maybe you should set your alarm to remind you to feed him. 

[fizzjrose-blog]

There’s nothing wrong with having a different sense of humour. If we all liked the same things and found the same things funny, the would be very boring. But, please! Tell me one you think I’d enjoy. Maybe that’ll become my new favourite ice breaking joke. It wasn’t intentional! Galileo is my child. And between you and me? He probably didn’t suffer too terribly. He’s kind of chubby. In an adorable chubby fish way.

[amaeveingflanagan-blog]

That joke was absolutely terrible, I don’t know how I could top it. Did Galileo survive or did he go swim in the big fish bowl in the sky?

[fizzjrose-blog]

Please try! I love jokes. It’s the way to my heart. He’s still flapping his fins and living his own dream. I promise I’m not a murderer.

[arabellaramon-blog]

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m considering breaking my No McDonalds pact (made with myself, circa 2012) to try their new sriracha sandwich. I can’t say that it sounds all that good, but I can say that sriracha makes everything better. 

Now that you’ve all been updated on my oh-so exciting life, please update me on yours. I’m sure it’ll be much more fun.

[fizzjrose-blog]

I didn’t even know this was a thing. Do you have insider scoop on McDonalds, or do I just need to get out more? Because that sounds like it’s right up my hot sauce collecting, chili plant nurturing alley!

Honestly, unless you find someone trying out Pinterest hacks on cutting their own split ends interesting, I’m going to refrain from boring you.

[athenastjames]

Cool. I don’t think I’ve ever owned the internet before. Lucky you, I have a strange distaste of anything overly complicated, which includes drinks with long names and many ingredients. I’d be happy with just coffee, or soda, or tea, really.

They must have made one hell of a triumvirate. Ah, so Galileo had a strong will to live. Maybe he wants to measure up to his namesake.

[fizzjrose-blog]

Neither have I, so I don’t know how legit my bestowing of internet owning is... They you are definitely in my circle. Especially if you’re a herbal tea kind of human. Because I have an obnoxious collection and I’d be very happy to deliver you a Fizz brewed mug of tea for the soul.

You say that, when funnily enough there’s a mini Colosseum in the tank. It’s like you’re a mind reader. I say survive, he’s a cannibal. Which probably doesn’t shed such a good light on him.

[wildelunatic]

Have I told you that one before? I’m so disappointed in myself. Wholly unsurprising, but disappointed nonetheless. You are in luck! My current cravings are directing me to 7-Eleven and their beautiful slushies.

Blueberry kombucha sounds bluetiful– berry perfect.

[fizzjrose-blog]

I think so? If you haven’t, someone else has. Let’s be real, there are a very limited number of science jokes and we’re a fun lot in labs. Beautiful. I call it a date.

I haven’t tasted it yet, so you can be my guinea pig.