in my cold arms

I couldn't even see towards the end of last night and I just kept asking myself if I believed in heaven.

[wbucora-blog]

lie down with me | olivia & cora

      Sleep won’t come, her heavy mind making her too restless to settle down. She’s been lying in the same position for hours trying to keep her breathing steady so as not to disturb Olivia. But it’s getting harder by the minute and she can feel the thoughts breaking her down bit by bit. All of the names her stepfather has called her, all of the stupid decisions she’s made, all of the expectations she’s not living up to come back to haunt. And it feels a bit like drowning. She can only take a couple more minutes of it before she’s pulling herself, hand running through her hair as she tries and fails to force back tears. It’s embarrassing the way she can’t keep herself together and she hates how she needs Olivia more than anything right now. “Liv?” she starts in a small voice, “Are you awake?”

[fkolivia-blog]

       Olivia was in and out of consciousness the whole night. She blamed it on the mass amounts of caffeine and sugar she had consumed earlier in the day. The girl is only half asleep when she hears Cora’s voice next to her. It’s her voice that keeps her from falling back under. “Hmm..” she mumbles, shifting in her position so that she was facing the brunette instead of having her back face her. It only takes her a couple seconds to notice the tears welled up in the corner of her eyes, and she’s sitting up with a worried expression on her face. “Hey, Cor, what’s wrong?” she asks, her voice soft and slightly raspy with sleep. “Why are you crying? What happened?” She doesn’t even take time to think before she’s wrapping her arms around the girl and rubbing small circles on her back. Olivia doesn’t need to know what’s wrong to know that the girl needs comforted. 

[fkolivia-blog]

sleepover | cora & olivia

[wbucora-blog]

The easy smile worked its way back onto her lips at Olivia’s joking. She knew this was a side of her that not many people got to see. She was more soft-spoken than Cora She didn’t throw her feelings out into the world, preferring to keep them closer to her. Being best friends with her was like being let in on an amazing secret no on else knew. “I like this bed more than I like you so no way in hell am I letting that happen. I guess our love affair ends here,”  she said with a shrug, smile still clinging to her lips. It was a little too close to the truth, she loved everything about Olivia’s house. It was smaller than hers but so much warmer and filled with life. Olivia and her dad were the perfect pair and Cora used to be so jealous of it, their easy love and consideration for each other. But just getting to be a part of it occasionally was enough. “Seriously? It was one small burn. A girl slips a little and she’s ridiculed for the rest of her life, ” she said, shaking her head at the other girl, “I guess I’ll just have to give you the shittiest fish tail braid you’ve ever seen.” Cora loved getting to play around with Olivia’s hair and makeup. She usually didn’t wear much and she really didn’t need to it just amused Cora to see how far she’d let her take it. Snorting as she took in the state of Olivia’s nails, she let how unimpressed she was show on her face. “That’s pathetic, Liv. I guess you’re just lucky to have me, aren’t you?” she said wiggling her eyebrows, “Obviously. What am I an amateur? I ordered it on the way over so we have like fifteen minutes. So pick a color and get over here,“ she said, moving down so she was sitting crossed-legged at the end of the bed.

[fkolivia-blog]

It was true what people said, how people acted differently around their best friend than they did around everyone else. Olivia’s true self only came out when she was around Cora. She was the person she felt most comfortable around, the person she put the most trust in. When she was around other people, Olivia tended to get a little shy. She never really knew what to say or do. That’s why she was always a little awkward when she went to parties with Cora and Nick. She preferred smaller, more intimate get togethers than she did being surrounded by a room full of people. Besides her dad, Cora was the only person who really knew her. The words that left the girl’s mouth caused her stomach to flutter a little, and her grin was growing. “I hate to break it to you, but the bed’s been cheating on you with me.” She counters, shrugging a little. It might have been better if Cora took the couch some nights, but Olivia would never say that. “Well, I trusted you and you burnt me. What do you expect me to do? Let you do it again? I don’t have a pain kink, Cor.” Olivia was never a girl that was too big into hair and makeup. She figured that was just because she didn’t grow up with a mother-figure to show her the ropes, but she didn’t mind, not that much. She would do little things to her hair every morning, and she’d put on a little makeup, but it was never really important to her. However, she’d let Cora mess with her hair and do her makeup for hours on end. “Guess so.” All of her nail polishes were displayed behind her on the dresser, so she looks over and scans her options. She quickly decides on a dark blue color before she’s shuffling over and plopping down on the bed beside the girl. “Did you get extra cheese?” She asks, holding out the nail polish to her. 

[fkolivia-blog]

sleepover | cora & olivia

[wbucora-blog]

Snorting into her shoulder, Cora holds on tight for a couple of beats too long before starting to pull away. “As lovely as your dad is I don’t think he’d be cool with me constantly sleeping in your bed if I was courting you.” she said with an amused shake of her head before stepping away and moving further into the room. Olivia’s room was one of Cora’s favorite places in the world. She’d spent some of the worst hours of her life in here. When her world felt like it was shattering and she had no where else to run, this is where she’d come. But some of her favorite memories, when she was her absolute happiest, also happened here. It was because of Olivia, Cora knew. Anytime spent with her best friend made her feel a little bit happier. It was amazing how far they’d come that just being around Olivia could make her feel more okay. Cora hadn’t been an easy person to like when they’d first met. She had pushed people away with all she had, not letting anyone get close enough to hurt her. But Olivia had  been strong enough to stick around even when she attempted to push her away. And Cora hadn’t been more grateful for anything in her life. She honestly didn’t know where she’d be without her. Throwing herself onto the bed, she closed her eyes and let the tension ease out of her bones as she forgot all about her stepdads bullshit. “So what first? I know you said I couldn’t do your hair, which is bullshit by the way, but you never said anything about your nails. And what else are we going to do while we wait for the pizza, right?” she said pushing herself back up and quirking an eyebrow at Olivia.

[fkolivia-blog]

Olivia is both disappointed and relieved when Cora breaks their hug. Disappointed because she probably could have stayed there for awhile, just holding her and breathing her in. She hated herself for it. How could she have let this crush get so bad? And she was relieved for the same reason. The last thing she needed was too linger too long and have Cora catch on. At her words, a small laugh passes through her lips and she’s shaking her head just a little disapprovingly. “Yeah, you’d probably be demoted to the couch. And no one wants that. That couch is literally a pain in the ass.” It was easy to joke like this with Cora. The banter between them just came so easily. Olivia wasn’t the biggest talker, so it was comforting that she had someone that it was so easy to talk to. She stays standing after Cora makes herself comfortable on her bed. She leans up against her dresser before she’s hopping onto to it. “Maybe I’d let you do my hair if you didn’t try to burn me to death.” She teases, throwing a playful grin in the brunette’s direction. “Nails are fine. God knows you’re better at them than I am. Just look at them now.” As if to prove her point, Olivia holds up a hand with chipped, smudged purple nail polish. “It looks like my five year old cousin painted them. Actually, they’d probably look better if she had.” She lets out a small laugh before she finally allows her full attention to settle on the girl. “I think the most important question here is whether or not you already ordered the pizza...” 

[fkolivia-blog]

sleepover | cora & olivia

[wbucora-blog]

Sneaking out of the house was as easy tiptoeing out of the back door and slipping into her car before anyone had noticed she’d gone. She’d done it too many times before whenever her stepfather got like this. She hated him on a good day. And on days like today, when he took it a little bit too far,  she started to feel the old anger and hate bubble up inside of her. Usually she would give as good as she got before getting out, but she wasn’t in the mood and she just needed to see her best friend. Olivia had been there for her through the worst time and now it felt like they hardly saw each other. Cora knew it was her fault, ever since she’d started dating Nick she spent more and more time with him and less time with Olivia. It made her feel horrible and she’d ask her to come hang out with them but it wasn’t the same. They needed their time alone. Finding the key that was hidden under the potted plant on the porch Cora let herself into the place that felt a lot more like home. She knew the place like the back of her hand, she’d been there so many time, so she didn’t hesitate before heading directly up the stairs to Olivia’s room. Knocking on the door, a warm smile spread across her lips as she turns to look at her. “I had to make you sweat a little, didn’t I? Keeping a girl guessing is how you keep them interested,” she said in a mock serious tone, walking into the room and dropping her bag on the floor. She couldn’t stop herself from stepping closer to Olivia and wrapping her arms around her waist, head falling onto her shoulder as she hugged her close. “I missed you.”

[fkolivia-blog]

Olivia knew that things weren’t the easiest for Cora at home. She didn’t have the perfect little duo that her and her dad had. She had to deal with so much more. Olivia hated to think about how her stepfather treated her and how her mother was seemingly blind to it. She had even witnessed it a few times, and it made her sick. So if she could help any, just by inviting her over for a stupid sleepover, she would. Even if Cora’s life was perfect, she’d still want her to come over and spend time with her. All she wanted to do was spend time with her and they hardly did anymore. She missed her best friend. It was almost impossible to stop her grin from growing as Cora stood in her doorway. Olivia couldn’t help notice how beautiful she looked, just standing there not even trying to be. It made her heart ache in ways she never thought possible. “I thought that was what courting was for,” she replies, a smile picking up the corners of her lips though her eyes finds the floor. Even if the conversation was nothing more than joking between two friends, it was like a knife jabbed into her chest. Cora didn’t know the effect her words had on her. The way she could just say any old thing and it would cause Olivia’s heart to pick up pace. It was ridiculous. Olivia hated it. Feeling the girl’s arms wrap around her waist, her breath hitches a little in her throat. It takes her a minute to realize that, yes, she was suppose to wrap her arms around her in return. So she does that, forcing a smile on her face even though the closeness of the female is practically killing her. “I missed you too.” Her voice is soft when she speaks, and her hand reaches up to pat her a little on the back. That was friendly, right?

[fkolivia-blog]

sleepover | cora & olivia

When Cora announced that she was on her way over, Olivia scurried to straighten up her bedroom, throwing half empty bottles of water into the trash and scooping up handfuls of dirty clothes and tossing them in the hamper. It was important to her that everything was in tip top shape when Cora came over. Even though she knew deep down that the girl probably wouldn’t have cared either way, she felt the need to try and impress her. A smile was spread lazily across her lips as she finished making her bed, thinking about how happy she was that Cora was coming over. They hadn’t hung out in awhile. Not alone at least, not without Nick tagging along. Just the thought of him made the blonde’s stomach churn. She hated him. Every time he was around Olivia wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up, that no one cared what he thought. That he was an asshole and he certainly wasn’t good enough for her best friend. That might have been due to the fact that she was head over heels in love with his girlfriend, but Olivia was still in denial about that. When she heard the knock on her bedroom door, she turns her head to see her friend standing in the doorway. Her smile only grows at the sight of her, her stomach fluttering madly. “I was starting to think you stood me up.”

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: tell me you love me too. oh no, i totally get to mock you. i've been telling you to get it for like a year now. you're a fucking wimp. beauty is pain, okay? and you looked great, that's all that really matters.

Olivia: I love you too. I thought it'd rip me off, okay? My dad has me all paranoid about identity theft. Yeah, tell that to the brand new scar on my temple. I thought it was what's on the inside that mattered?

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: you mean it's not obvious? you're the one for me. we're like platonic soulmates, i'm keeping you forever. welcome to the 21st century. i'll buy the pizza.

Olivia: I mean, I didn't want to assume anything. Oh yeah, we're definitely platonic soulmates. Definitely. Hey, don't make fun. Good. And I'm not letting you do my hair again this time. I still have a mark from last time when you got the curling iron too close to my forehead.

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: seriously shut up. you know i love you the most. let me think about that. yes? fuck yes.

Olivia: I don't know anything, but I'll take it. We can have a sleepover. I finally got around to getting Netflix and it's begging me to use it.

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: what? no, i'm talking about you, dummy. the usual reasons. douchelord's on another one of his rampages and i'm not in the mood.

Olivia: oh, are you now? i'm sorry, cor. do you wanna come over?

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: talking to my favorite person in the world. and hiding in my room.

Olivia: oh so Nick's there? Why are you hiding in your room?

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: i guess that's what best friends are for. but i promise i'm okay. i'd tell you if i wasn't

Olivia: you better. so what are you up to?

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: you don't have to worry. he's different when it's just me and him. not nearly as much of a dick.

Olivia: i still worry though. you're my best friend.

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: good. and you're okay? i can understand if you're mad. nick can be such an asshole and i should have stopped him i'm sorry.

Olivia: i'm fine. i'm not mad or anything. it's all good. are you okay though? i was worried about you.

[fkolivia-blog]

text ✉ olivia

Cora: hey. did you get back home alright last night?

Olivia: hey. yeah, i got a ride home from brittany.