the lonely hearts

destinydiamante-deactivated2022

The thing I hate the most about terfs is their bizarre insistence that all “women” have the same experiences, or that there is one “real way” to be a “real woman” and 99.999999% of the list the make is just. Not relatable? To me?

They truly believe the gate keeping and re-enforcement of the binary is making them “radical” but honestly it’s just tired.

You cannot contain all the things that a woman is.

You cannot insist there is some checklist, requirements that have to be met to be validated as a “real woman”.

White terfs are always trying to tell other women what womanhood is.

White womanhood and non-white womanhood are not the same.

Transwomen are women and no hate keeper can change that.

We must be loud in our defense of trans rights.

the female experience exists general “womahood” also DOES exist. a xicana like myself and a white woman share similar experiences rooted in misogyny that purposefully targets our mutual femaleness and woman-ness, of which is a product of this socialization (not an innate identity that either of us are able to separate from the external pressures creating said experience) there IS a certain “checklist” that practically all (sure, ‘cis’) woman experience; universal oppression targeting female bodies all over the globe is not a coincidence and to assert this idea (with no basis other than identity politics and some false semblance of ally-ship) that our experiences as women/females have no similarities is invalidating and backwards. do you consider sisterhood to exist? sister or women solidarity to be a thing? if so, you have to acknowledge there IS some kind of universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female. not all of them duh (generalizations hardly ever constitute anything more than a majority unless specifically extended!!) but many of them. you can contain things a woman is because WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE. i cant with this half ass logic. if yall typed out posts like these for 5 more mintues youd finish the circle you began talkng urself into i gtg

What is the female experience??

What is “general womanhood”?

And no, sisterhood does not exist, time and time again white women have shown women of color they choose race over gender all the time! (Maybe you should look @ the last election results???)

YOU can have similarities with white women, but can’t you recognize that’s not the case for all of us?

What is this “universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female” that you’re taking about?

Let me see the list.

Hey, u seem confused so I just thought I’d answer some of ur questions! First of all, the experience shared by all women is this thing called misogyny. It basically involves things like objectification; sexualisation; commodification; subjugation and so on (that’s a little list for u). It’s not ideal, and we certainly don’t like the fact that all women share this experience, but the fact of our reality is that as soon as u are born a female, u are subject to this kind of conditioning from both patriarchal institutions and also friends and family, who have inherited these social values and, consciously or not, continue to enforce them. So that is why rad fems will argue that it is inaccurate and invalidating for a transwoman to call herself a “real” woman - no matter how early her transition began in her lifetime, her experiences of socialisation and of oppression simply aren’t the same. That’s not to say her experiences are any less real - it’s just different. So why eradicate the shared experiences of women, and indeed the shared experiences of trans people, just to lump everybody together and claim there is no solidarity or similarity between us apart from the fact that we are all suffering in some way at the hands of the patriarchy? How are we to address the separate issues and analyse incidences/attitudes/behaviours? Or is all this effort to make a change just a facade - is it really just about putting urself on a pedestal for being morally superior to all those evil men and terfs? Anyway, back to the question of gender. I understand that trans people are expressing their individuality using the language that the patriarchy has given them. That is, a trans woman calls herself a woman because that is the best way she figures the patriarchal world will understand and accept her femininity. And I believe that every person should have the right to express their identities. But it is true that by using the binaries that the patriarchy has given us, we are actually reinforcing the gender roles that gave us this problem in the first place! When rad fems say that being a woman means having a vagina and XX chromosomes, it is a means of “wiping the slate clean” I guess u could say. It is saying that if the patriarchal world were not to exist, and thereby neither would female oppression nor gender roles, then the only inherent thing that would constitute womanhood was their biology. This gives women (and also men, by default) the freedom to express their identities any way they choose without having any sort of expectation or archetype to live up to. Self-expression would have nothing to do with their sex! And the idea of gender would no longer exist. This means no one would have to undergo expensive, agonising surgeries to disfigure their bodies. This means that in biology class, there would be no confusion as to who had vaginas (some men, and not all women). This means that little boys can where dresses without having to question whether they were a real boy or not. And so on. Ultimately there would be a lot less anxiety, ignorance, and hatred within the world if people understood that masculine and feminine characteristics were not reserved for just one of the two sexes, and that if u deviated from the binary, then u were automatically born in the “wrong body” and had to change to be accepted. I know that we are a long way from that, but if a world without gender stereotypes isn’t the goal then what is? The truth is that rad fems and lib fems, and whoever else, are all coming from the same place. We all want equality and freedom. People just need to be more understanding with one another and discuss their ideas politely and intelligently without spitting their dummies out just because someone disagrees!

LMAO at op. They’re making posts indirecting me/my response but won’t actually reblog what I said because they have no real critique to offer. They probably don’t want their followers to see it because it would completely destroy their narrative. Wow. I guess that’s how tumblr works. Nobody actually wants cooperation or conversation, they just want to be victims and perpetuate whatever divide they’re on the other side of. Lol.

seechelles

Okay so #1 it’s incredibly shtty for you to call transition “disfiguring” and I can’t believe you typed that and still think you aren’t being hateful and #2 most trans people WANT that “disfiguring” because it makes our bodies more comfortable to live in?

I couldn’t give a damn if it was ok for me to wear a dress if I couldn’t get hormones I’d be miserable.

Heck some trans people have to suffer through what you describe? Trans men are told a LOT by their parents “why couldn’t you just be a lesbian?” Or “you don’t need to be a man to wear your hair short”. So yeah your “genderless” society wouldn’t be great for all of us ESPECIALLY if you keep describing us as “"disfigured”“.

Ok I'm really sorry for using that word, I'm gonna admit that I wrote this out really fast and I didn't check up on what I wrote and I thought that disfigure was another way of saying mutate or something to that effect, but I realise now that it's a lot more negative than that. So I'm sorry and I really didn't mean to cause offence. Just to add, I'm not trying to "hate" trans people, I fully respect and value their identities. I'm just criticising the language that is used. We have all been taught by a patriarchal world that to have a vagina connotes femininity whilst having a penis connotes masculinity. But most of us realise that this isn't true. Especially trans people! They are the living proof of the fact that a persons identity can be feminine or masculine regardless of their sex! So my question is, why should these people feel the need to transition? Obviously, I don't blame trans people for wanting to do this. It is society's current paradigm which tells them they need to change their sex to correspond to their self-expression. For example, if you're a person who is inherently submissive, nurturing, soft-spoken, and so on, and you are taught that it is only girls that should behave in this way - then of course the obvious conclusion is, I must be a girl born in the wrong body and I must do all I can to "correct" it. But if you are taught that these characteristics can occur in any individual, regardless of sex, (because they can), then the idea of adopting a new sex would be needless and dare I say it, preposterous. Personally, I feel that the second scenario is a lot better - there's a lot less expense and pain and anxiety to endure. People could just be themselves without any kind of stigma attached to them, and go about their day. Now, I know that we are a long way from reaching this point, and in our current social climate it is easier to just entertain the myth that is gender. Society doesn't make it easy for us and that is not by chance. The patriarchal world WANTS to perpetuate the idea of gender, as it maintains the heteronormative narrative that is used to exploit male and female labour in their respective categories. At the end of the day, the patriarchy is profiting from gender, and it is at the expense of each of us. I think it is healthier on both a social and emotional sphere to do all we can to subvert gender and argue that people cannot be categorised into neat little boxes; labelled to fit an ideal; and forced to perform one of two socially constructed, economically proficient roles. Identity does not work like that, it never has and it never will.

destinydiamante-deactivated2022

The thing I hate the most about terfs is their bizarre insistence that all “women” have the same experiences, or that there is one “real way” to be a “real woman” and 99.999999% of the list the make is just. Not relatable? To me?

They truly believe the gate keeping and re-enforcement of the binary is making them “radical” but honestly it’s just tired.

You cannot contain all the things that a woman is.

You cannot insist there is some checklist, requirements that have to be met to be validated as a “real woman”.

White terfs are always trying to tell other women what womanhood is.

White womanhood and non-white womanhood are not the same.

Transwomen are women and no hate keeper can change that.

We must be loud in our defense of trans rights.

the female experience exists general “womahood” also DOES exist. a xicana like myself and a white woman share similar experiences rooted in misogyny that purposefully targets our mutual femaleness and woman-ness, of which is a product of this socialization (not an innate identity that either of us are able to separate from the external pressures creating said experience) there IS a certain “checklist” that practically all (sure, ‘cis’) woman experience; universal oppression targeting female bodies all over the globe is not a coincidence and to assert this idea (with no basis other than identity politics and some false semblance of ally-ship) that our experiences as women/females have no similarities is invalidating and backwards. do you consider sisterhood to exist? sister or women solidarity to be a thing? if so, you have to acknowledge there IS some kind of universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female. not all of them duh (generalizations hardly ever constitute anything more than a majority unless specifically extended!!) but many of them. you can contain things a woman is because WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE. i cant with this half ass logic. if yall typed out posts like these for 5 more mintues youd finish the circle you began talkng urself into i gtg

What is the female experience??

What is “general womanhood”?

And no, sisterhood does not exist, time and time again white women have shown women of color they choose race over gender all the time! (Maybe you should look @ the last election results???)

YOU can have similarities with white women, but can’t you recognize that’s not the case for all of us?

What is this “universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female” that you’re taking about?

Let me see the list.

Hey, u seem confused so I just thought I’d answer some of ur questions! First of all, the experience shared by all women is this thing called misogyny. It basically involves things like objectification; sexualisation; commodification; subjugation and so on (that’s a little list for u). It’s not ideal, and we certainly don’t like the fact that all women share this experience, but the fact of our reality is that as soon as u are born a female, u are subject to this kind of conditioning from both patriarchal institutions and also friends and family, who have inherited these social values and, consciously or not, continue to enforce them. So that is why rad fems will argue that it is inaccurate and invalidating for a transwoman to call herself a “real” woman - no matter how early her transition began in her lifetime, her experiences of socialisation and of oppression simply aren’t the same. That’s not to say her experiences are any less real - it’s just different. So why eradicate the shared experiences of women, and indeed the shared experiences of trans people, just to lump everybody together and claim there is no solidarity or similarity between us apart from the fact that we are all suffering in some way at the hands of the patriarchy? How are we to address the separate issues and analyse incidences/attitudes/behaviours? Or is all this effort to make a change just a facade - is it really just about putting urself on a pedestal for being morally superior to all those evil men and terfs? Anyway, back to the question of gender. I understand that trans people are expressing their individuality using the language that the patriarchy has given them. That is, a trans woman calls herself a woman because that is the best way she figures the patriarchal world will understand and accept her femininity. And I believe that every person should have the right to express their identities. But it is true that by using the binaries that the patriarchy has given us, we are actually reinforcing the gender roles that gave us this problem in the first place! When rad fems say that being a woman means having a vagina and XX chromosomes, it is a means of “wiping the slate clean” I guess u could say. It is saying that if the patriarchal world were not to exist, and thereby neither would female oppression nor gender roles, then the only inherent thing that would constitute womanhood was their biology. This gives women (and also men, by default) the freedom to express their identities any way they choose without having any sort of expectation or archetype to live up to. Self-expression would have nothing to do with their sex! And the idea of gender would no longer exist. This means no one would have to undergo expensive, agonising surgeries to disfigure their bodies. This means that in biology class, there would be no confusion as to who had vaginas (some men, and not all women). This means that little boys can where dresses without having to question whether they were a real boy or not. And so on. Ultimately there would be a lot less anxiety, ignorance, and hatred within the world if people understood that masculine and feminine characteristics were not reserved for just one of the two sexes, and that if u deviated from the binary, then u were automatically born in the “wrong body” and had to change to be accepted. I know that we are a long way from that, but if a world without gender stereotypes isn’t the goal then what is? The truth is that rad fems and lib fems, and whoever else, are all coming from the same place. We all want equality and freedom. People just need to be more understanding with one another and discuss their ideas politely and intelligently without spitting their dummies out just because someone disagrees!

LMAO at op. They're making posts indirecting me/my response but won't actually reblog what I said because they have no real critique to offer. They probably don't want their followers to see it because it would completely destroy their narrative. Wow. I guess that's how tumblr works. Nobody actually wants cooperation or conversation, they just want to be victims and perpetuate whatever divide they're on the other side of. Lol.

destinydiamante-deactivated2022

The thing I hate the most about terfs is their bizarre insistence that all “women” have the same experiences, or that there is one “real way” to be a “real woman” and 99.999999% of the list the make is just. Not relatable? To me?

They truly believe the gate keeping and re-enforcement of the binary is making them “radical” but honestly it’s just tired.

You cannot contain all the things that a woman is.

You cannot insist there is some checklist, requirements that have to be met to be validated as a “real woman”.

White terfs are always trying to tell other women what womanhood is.

White womanhood and non-white womanhood are not the same.

Transwomen are women and no hate keeper can change that.

We must be loud in our defense of trans rights.

the female experience exists general “womahood” also DOES exist. a xicana like myself and a white woman share similar experiences rooted in misogyny that purposefully targets our mutual femaleness and woman-ness, of which is a product of this socialization (not an innate identity that either of us are able to separate from the external pressures creating said experience) there IS a certain “checklist” that practically all (sure, ‘cis’) woman experience; universal oppression targeting female bodies all over the globe is not a coincidence and to assert this idea (with no basis other than identity politics and some false semblance of ally-ship) that our experiences as women/females have no similarities is invalidating and backwards. do you consider sisterhood to exist? sister or women solidarity to be a thing? if so, you have to acknowledge there IS some kind of universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female. not all of them duh (generalizations hardly ever constitute anything more than a majority unless specifically extended!!) but many of them. you can contain things a woman is because WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE. i cant with this half ass logic. if yall typed out posts like these for 5 more mintues youd finish the circle you began talkng urself into i gtg

What is the female experience??

What is “general womanhood”?

And no, sisterhood does not exist, time and time again white women have shown women of color they choose race over gender all the time! (Maybe you should look @ the last election results???)

YOU can have similarities with white women, but can’t you recognize that’s not the case for all of us?

What is this “universal experience that accompanies being a woman and/or female” that you’re taking about?

Let me see the list.

#Harry Potter #inspiration

Hey, u seem confused so I just thought I'd answer some of ur questions! First of all, the experience shared by all women is this thing called misogyny. It basically involves things like objectification; sexualisation; commodification; subjugation and so on (that's a little list for u). It's not ideal, and we certainly don't like the fact that all women share this experience, but the fact of our reality is that as soon as u are born a female, u are subject to this kind of conditioning from both patriarchal institutions and also friends and family, who have inherited these social values and, consciously or not, continue to enforce them. So that is why rad fems will argue that it is inaccurate and invalidating for a transwoman to call herself a "real" woman - no matter how early her transition began in her lifetime, her experiences of socialisation and of oppression simply aren't the same. That's not to say her experiences are any less real - it's just different. So why eradicate the shared experiences of women, and indeed the shared experiences of trans people, just to lump everybody together and claim there is no solidarity or similarity between us apart from the fact that we are all suffering in some way at the hands of the patriarchy? How are we to address the separate issues and analyse incidences/attitudes/behaviours? Or is all this effort to make a change just a facade - is it really just about putting urself on a pedestal for being morally superior to all those evil men and terfs? Anyway, back to the question of gender. I understand that trans people are expressing their individuality using the language that the patriarchy has given them. That is, a trans woman calls herself a woman because that is the best way she figures the patriarchal world will understand and accept her femininity. And I believe that every person should have the right to express their identities. But it is true that by using the binaries that the patriarchy has given us, we are actually reinforcing the gender roles that gave us this problem in the first place! When rad fems say that being a woman means having a vagina and XX chromosomes, it is a means of "wiping the slate clean" I guess u could say. It is saying that if the patriarchal world were not to exist, and thereby neither would female oppression nor gender roles, then the only inherent thing that would constitute womanhood was their biology. This gives women (and also men, by default) the freedom to express their identities any way they choose without having any sort of expectation or archetype to live up to. Self-expression would have nothing to do with their sex! And the idea of gender would no longer exist. This means no one would have to undergo expensive, agonising surgeries to disfigure their bodies. This means that in biology class, there would be no confusion as to who had vaginas (some men, and not all women). This means that little boys can where dresses without having to question whether they were a real boy or not. And so on. Ultimately there would be a lot less anxiety, ignorance, and hatred within the world if people understood that masculine and feminine characteristics were not reserved for just one of the two sexes, and that if u deviated from the binary, then u were automatically born in the "wrong body" and had to change to be accepted. I know that we are a long way from that, but if a world without gender stereotypes isn't the goal then what is? The truth is that rad fems and lib fems, and whoever else, are all coming from the same place. We all want equality and freedom. People just need to be more understanding with one another and discuss their ideas politely and intelligently without spitting their dummies out just because someone disagrees!

gerroys

fangirl challenge = 1/10 books ♥ harry potter series

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”

coral

Listen, children: Your father is dead. From his old coats I’ll make you little jackets; I’ll make you little trousers From his old pants. There’ll be in his pockets Things he used to put there, Keys and pennies Covered with tobacco; Dan shall have the pennies To save in his bank; Anne shall have the keys To make a pretty noise with. Life must go on, Though good men die; Anne, eat your breakfast; Dan, take your medicine; Life must go on; I forget just why.

Edna St. Vincent Millay (via feellng)

ce-sac-contient

Alexander McQueen (1969-2010)

Dress, Sarabande, spring/summer 2007, nude silk embroidered with silk flowers and fresh flowers.

#fashion #inspiration

Me trying to navigate a relationship: but Eartha Kitt told me not to compromise

#me af

thiscoffeedrenchedlife

There was an episode, one of my favorite moments in Star Trek, when Captain Kirk looks over the cosmos and says, ‘Somewhere out there someone is saying the three most beautiful words in any language.’ Of course your heart sinks and you think it’s going to be, ‘I love you’ or whatever. He says, ‘Please help me.’ What a philosophically fantastic idea, that vulnerability and need is a beautiful thing.

Hugh Laurie (via pacificaly)

There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

(via twloha)

swdyww-deactivated20210428

newblogisjacindaelena

Oleh Slobodeniuk

#inspiration

antigonick

Unclothed by devotion we are unfit for the world. Come as you are to Me

Andal, excerpt of Koli Alaippatan Munnam : The Song for The Clothes (tr. by Priya Sarukkai Chabria)

I love with such ferocity that it kills me when the object of my love shows by a phrase it can escape. He escapes, and I am left clutching at a string that slips in and out among the leaves on the tree-tops. I do not understand phrases.

Virginia Woolf, The Waves (via lonecowgirl1)

Labs around the world open their doors to aesthetic creation.

An interesting reading. I stay with these words of my countryman Luis Álvarez-Gaumé:

“Science is inevitable; art is fragile. Without Einstein it may have taken many, many years, and many people working on it, but we still would have come up with his theories. If Beethoven died at age 5, we would not have the sonatas; art is not repeatable.”

metaphorformetaphor

The Hell I have gone through—how can I explain it to you?—has been the Hell that comes from love. […] The real Hell is the Hell of love.

Clarice Lispector, from The Passion According to G.H. (via lonecowgirl1)