the white guy is killin me
“hmm..yes..ho….mhm”
*looks nervously at obama* “h….ho………”
Fai_Ryy

@theartofmadeline

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@flame-throwr
the white guy is killin me
“hmm..yes..ho….mhm”
*looks nervously at obama* “h….ho………”
Imagine my disappointment when I cut this watermelon in half
OH GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS IM SO GLAD I STOPPED SCROLLING
3 Huskies Become Best Friends With A Cat After Saving It From Dying
things ive heard people say in class:
“what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
“is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.”
“let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
“what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
“in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
“did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
“wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”
*scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!”
“i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
“don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
“i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
“fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
“i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
“i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”
Listen. Sometimes when a girl has insomnia, she goes to drastic lengths to entertain herself. Then she closes her computer, falls asleep, and gets on with her life. Then, two months later, she’s cleaning up her desktop and finds THIS nonsense, and even though she knows it should never see the light of day…she just…can’t…delete it.
& not to distract from the video’s genius but can we also take a moment to appreciate LMM’s dad [x]
satire is “I’m going to take this concept to an extreme or absurd level in order to demonstrate how bizarre/nonsensical/illogical it is” and not “I said something bigoted but just kidding I didn’t really mean it hahaha”
Dang it I’ve written like 5000 words trying to explain this and I only needed this post to reblog
my biggest insecurity is that i cant cartwheel. what do i do when im full with glee? just fuckin stand there, it haunts me everyday
*looks at clock*
Me: Crap. I have to be somewhere in six hours. Time to start psyching myself up.
if you don’t get this, we are not from the same generation…
MY JAW LITERALLY DROPPED AND I ADMIT TO SQUEALING LOUDLY IN A INHUMAN NOISE
“Sebastian Stan is just like… the sweetest kid on the planet.” - Chris Evans
Before you laugh and make fun of someones accent or mistakes when they speak english please take a moment to realize that you can actually learn alot about their language by their mistakes for example When I was I denmark I noticed alot of danes say “ I will learn you ” instead of saying I will teach you because teach and learn is the same thing in danish Also arabs when they speak english they often say “ beeebol ” instead of “ people ” or “ bebzi ” instead of “ Pepsi ” because the letter P doesn’t exist in the arabic alphabet Theres always something to learn when you stop being an ignorant piece of shit
hello i would like 2 let u know my kitten has thumbs and she fully plans on dominating the world with them
please kiss her thumbs and tell her i hope she does a good job and that i love her very much
I know its a little early but
Jingle Bell Rock w/ my mom
i hate being that person who comments on posts but i just want u all to know that i watch this video all the fucking time every year once it hits september bc nothing gets me more pumped for christmas than this person rocking out w/ their mom while their mom windexes a countertop
right eyebrow: does yoga, is popular, goes to harvard left eyebrow: is a procrastinator, stays up till 4am each night