Moon and Venus conjunction
AnasAbdin
Today's Document
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Love Begins

Janaina Medeiros
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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izzy's playlists!
almost home
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@fleurisyael
Moon and Venus conjunction
having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
we’re gonna be ok btw
it’s ok if you’re scared. or tired. or unsure. or one million billion other complicated emotions at once. but i’ve decided things are going to be ok anyway. and i will hold that belief close to my heart no matter how scared or tired or lonely or depressed or one million billion other things i am. i will hold onto that. and if you’re scared, you can hold onto me. we can carry each other through
you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
i am too in love with life, i don't want to die (i cannot fathom the absence of living)
arthoesunshine | sunlightafterdark | joseph cambell | mary oliver | amy krouse rosenthal | joseph brodsky | unknown | gregory orr | colette, tr by matthew ward | anaïs nin
whatever was left, that was ours for a while.
sunrise - louise glück
i wanna know your stories, your dreams. i wanna know your whispers and sleeptalks. your ghosts that turn your lights on late, late in the morning. i wanna lay my head on your chest and know the songs in your heart, let it ricochet against the stairwell and laugh till my lungs collapse. i wanna see how far your eyes go in the sky. will it reach orion? or pierce the clouds? see whatever i never saw when i was but a person on the top of everything below. the smoke burns my eyes and i think i lost you when i exhaled and realized you would never see me from here.
when the drink starts tasting like fuck it im gonna add personal trauma in my english essay
after seeing your friends for a few hours sometimes u walk away and return home with a little ball of glowing golden light in your chest
1. Young Stellar Object in LDN 1471 | 2. A small portion of NGC 2023. / By Judy Schmidt.
i have always felt this feeling, i think. i just didn't know how i would describe it as accurately as this back then. i thought of it as some kind of itch, a poke, a tickling, a rush. but i know what it is in its deepest form. it is the call of art. in my case, it's writing. it grabs you by the throat and it cradles you and it whispers, quite passionately, their desire to be created right then and there. a kind of warning without preamble—write me, it begs. and on the occasion that it shows itself to me, i do. i write.
i think... the hurt would stay
you know i like you, right? too much.
you reminded her so much of the sea from your clichèd blue gaze that when i took her out to feel her feet on the sand, so cold from staying in her marble stone floors, to learn to breathe again without shaking for the first time in the last eight months, and to close her eyes without the thought of your bright sinister smile, she crashed into the ocean and dove deepest until what was only left is the ache of her entropy that forever echoed in me
i couldn't remember when i wrote this but 3 months ago, her feet touched the sand, and now, my heart is indefinitely in aching entropy.
- Euripides, "Erakles"
Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.