memento mori

they/he | an archive for pretty words | this is a sideblog

[paradoxarchive]

they/he, 30

my web weaves

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[scribeherself]

Do not confuse being understood with being loved. Plenty of people will map every corner of your heart and still choose to leave it. Others will mispronounce your soul forever, and remain. We are translated imperfectly into one another. Love has never required fluency—only patience.

[apartmentstore-deactivated20260]

from Sorting by Joanna Klink

[typewriter-worries]

[ Text ID:

Had I been able to read the signs, had you been able to speak more clearly, had I noticed, not assumed, had you come to me in understanding linking need to need, had I heard you, had you spoken, I heard, as you said the words, the harder course, you insisted, nor have you always lived it, persist, and cannot any longer pass lightly over anything. You came to me in understanding and brought with you the need of a whole life, having for months looked elsewhere, the streets of the town after midnight, a nullity in each living room’s blue t.v., letters to others, drought in the mind drought in the neighborhood grass. Certain you would always be there. Certain you would follow. ]

[nixscriptum]

[el-im]

Joan Didion, writing about the shock that followed after the death of her husband, John.

[typewriter-worries]

Tony Dunne, Joan's nephew, recounting a conversation he had with Joan after John's passing in Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold (2017).

[lucidloving]

Crimson Peak (2015) // François Mauriac, The Loved and the Unloved // Agustin Gómez-Arcos, The Carnivorous Lamb (tr. William Rodarmor) // Ivana Lena Besevic // Yves Olade, Slaughterhouse // Yves Olade, Bloodsport // Euripides, The Bacchae // Edwin Austin Abbey, 'King Lear: Cordelia's Farewell' // Alice Notley, In the Pines // Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

[academic-vampire]

𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔰

[existential-celestial]

Zoya Nazyalensky in Rule of Wolves (Leigh Bardugo)

[ciarasheart]

[text id: Open the door. // Love was on the other side and it was terrifying. // Open the door. end id]

[kurhanchyk]

[kurhanchyk]

are you okay i noticed you reblogging "a raven with a damaged wing. it can still fly with ease" again

[showcasedisplaysofsanity]

ON PURPOSE, I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU ON PURPOSE

Jenny Slate // Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue // Pleiades, Anne Carson // Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo // @oriley42 and @earth167 (and a half) on Tumblr // Jodi Picoult from The Book Of Two Ways // The Night Vale, Episode 100, The Toast // Adam Melchor, I Choose You // Kierston White, The Chaos of Stars

[zoology]

Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"

[zoology]

Coming home from acceptance therapy to see some shit that says "not reblogging is a moral failure" "even if you forgive yourself you should still keep thinking about it" I dont like getting kicked in the head anymore guys

[zoology]

a lot of people are resonating with this so i want to share one of my biggest coping techniques that helps me a lot with moral, false memory, relationship, and harm OCD. disclaimer that i am not a psychiatrist, i am not fully recovered, and i still struggle every day so your mileage may vary as to if this is helpful.

when i struggle with obsessions about not being a good enough person, i have two steps i follow. first, i try to envision the kind of person i want to be. maybe i want to be more earnest. maybe i want to be more helpful. maybe i want to be kinder. maybe i want to be more assertive. i try to imagine a self that is calm, gentle, and confident. then i think of the simplest and most constructive steps to get there. i cannot put myself down. i cannot beat myself up. the steps have to be polite and reasonable advice i could give to someone without OCD.

tomorrow i won't ask my family if they love me, i will simply enjoy their company. i won't make that mean joke anymore. the next time i see my friends i'll ask for their opinion on something small and i will share my honest opinion as well. i will pick up a book and read for 20 minutes instead of avoiding what is a fun activity because i feel "dumb."

i repeat one of my favorite simpsons quotes a lot: "you can't keep blaming yourself, blame yourself once and move on." you have to move forward and just take the steps to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do using advice that you would give to any person other than yourself. part of being obsessive-compulsive is being rigidly self-critical and scrutinizing yourself far more than you would any other person. it's hard to beat these feelings, but the reality is that self punishment doesn't make anything better. things only get better when you move forward. you have to treat yourself like a human being.

it can be really hard to follow through with this advice sometimes. other times it's shockingly easy to start doing the things i want to do. there'll always be ups and downs and lefts and rights when living with OCD, and medication, therapy, and stress management are really helpful. still, even if it's hard, i have to move forward. i have to construct a healthy self instead of destroying an unhealthy self.

[typewriter-worries]

The Carrying, Ada Limón

[maliusaidh]

[callizinc]

Oh my god i need to change my life NOW i need to be something else i CAN'T keep living like this (Does nothing) (Does nothing) (Sits there) (Does nothing) (Doesn't move) (Does nothing) (Does nothing) (Does nothing) (Does nothing)

[louisegluckpdf]

painting this on the ceiling above my bed so it's the first thing i see upon waking in the morning and the last thing i see before falling asleep at night

[amberspacedf]

[tomatosup]

— “What have you been up to lately?” | Lyndsay Rush

[typewriter-worries]

[ Text ID:

"What Have You Been Up to Lately?"

Oh, not much / Just making a fool of myself / Making a name for myself / Making the most of myself / Making it up as I go / Making a leap of faith / Making my bed every morning / Making myself clear / Making a fuss / Ya know, the usual / I've actually really gotten into making a mountain out of a molehill / Making a face / Making an entrance / Making it rain / Making it happen / Making up for lost time / Making tacos for dinner / Making sure he knows just how much I adore him / Let's see…on the weekends I've been making a break for it / Making a game of it / Making a night of it / Making a big deal / Making my best guess / Making my own luck / Making a short story long / Making your day / Making mine / I've really been trying to prioritize making a scene / Making it interesting / Making it count / Making a comeback / Making a difference / Making a mess of things / Making the best of things / Making tiny, beautiful things I'll be proud to leave behind / Yeah that's pretty much it over here—how about you? -Lyndsay Rush ]

[metamorphesque]

The relation between nature and human being: Agnieszka Lepka