floating around

[floatingaround8778]

Hello. I have been trying to pass through time without asking anyone for help. When I was 16 I had a tonic clonic seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy. My MRI also showed signs of multiple sclerosis, but I didn't have any symptoms yet. On February 2020, while all this situation with Covid started spreading here, I started feeling like I was given an electric shock down my spine. Then it went to my hand, and my leg, covering my left side. It was my first symptom of MS. I have been prescribed Copaxone. I have been suffering from daily nausea for over a year now and have some trouble using my left hand lately. I am trying to go back to classes, but I also suffer from severe panic attacks when I am around others, that end up in seizures. Since July, I have had really bad gastrointestinal pain, that I haven't been able to do the necessary tests for. I need an endoscopy and an MRI, let alone the MRIs I need for MS, that I haven't been able to do either. Anything I eat gives me severe pain that ends up making me scream. Since July, I have only had a few days that I didn't end up screaming. I went to the ER twice, but they sent me back home because the ultrasound they did to me seemed OK and didn't bother furthermore. I was also diagnosed with diabetes lately, but have been unable to get a meter or have a proper diet, which also has prevented me from managing a diet for the bad stomach aches. Most of the time, there's no food at home.

The state in here has been awful, too. My father has been verbally and financially abusing my mother, threatening and insulting her for wanting to get groceries, even when she used her own money. They have been threatening each other with death and it got physical a few times. I haven't been able to work, when the symptoms of MS started, I lost my job at a daycare that I had really struggled to get, and my parent has been verbally abusive for even doing the smallest things, eating, taking a shower, washing my hair. My father has threatened of leaving us and has been getting the paperwork ready to go work at his birth place and leave home, and sadly, he is the only one with a stable job, mom has been going from job to job and without him, we won't be able to afford even the apartment. A couple of months ago, he left me alone while I was having a seizure and didn't notify anyone I needed help.

I don't know what to do, home feels like a battlefield. I just really need to do those tests, they are the most important ones and I'd need about 200€ for the MRIs, the intestinal one and the brain/neck ones. I know that's too much, but really, anything would help me, please? I can't stand all this anymore. I just want to have a chance at getting better. Thank you for taking the time to read. Please share if you can.

paypal.me/floataround

[floatingaround8778]

I haven't been able to get any help, I'm sorry for reblogging this but I really need help, please pass this on, absolutely anything would help me. Of course I can provide proof and anything needed. I just don't know what to do anymore. I could help you back in something else you need in return.

I am unable to set a gofundme because it isn't available yet in my country. The nausea has been getting worse, sometimes even looking at another spot, moving my eyes, causes dizziness. I don't know what causes that and it stops me from a lot. I have been trying to keep up with classes but I have trouble walking there and coming back home. Please, please share.

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[caluummhood-deactivated20140506]

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

[jamesjoeboyleeeee-deactivated20]

the first post ever on tumblr

[powerpuffsposts-deactivated2025]

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

[kpopdotexe-blog]

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[adulthoodisokay]

like actually though. i’m in AWE of the notecount.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[everythingfox]

“Stay home and play games. Be safe!”

(Source)

[cuntess-carmilla]

Assigning inherent “goodness” (or otherwise positivity) to the body is well-intentioned but ultimately harmful essentialism...

And, dare I say, its ultimate logical conclusion (distant and unintentional as it may be) is eugenics.

——————————————————-

Disclaimer: Not all chronically ill/disabled people hate our bodies. There’s no universal experience of embodiment for ANYONE, much less for people whose bodies aren’t normative, but the truth is that a lot of us DO hate our bodies and our feelings regarding our bodies deserve to be respected and acknowledged.

——————————————————-

On the one hand I am very glad to see glimpses of people trying to move their politics around the body away from desirability/fuckability.

However, this feel good sentimental narrative that we should be kind to our bodies BECAUSE our bodies are “good” to us is bio-essentialist rhetoric, which can only universally apply to abled bodies (and ONLY through assigning the body separately sentient moral agency).

There are millions of people whose bodies aren’t “good” to them. Millions of people whose bodies are kinda trying to kill themselves, even! Despite that objective fact, all of us still deserve to have our bodies be treated with kindness and care.

My body isn’t “good”, but… Does my body HAVE to be “good”? Why does anybody’s body have to be “good”?

When you insist that the reason my body deserves care and kindness is a criteria I can’t live up to (ie. ”your body does its best to keep you alive and healthy, so you should repay the favor by caring for it!”), all I hear is that I don’t deserve said care or kindness, or that I simply don’t count, like I’m not here or like my presence here is an irrelevant, insignificant, inconvenient, bleak outlier due to the reality of my body.

In order to insist that all bodies are universally and essentially “good”, you have to erase the existence of bodies like mine. You can choose to erase us symbolically/rhetorically, or you can choose to erase us literally.

Now, do I think that people who’re trying to spread the ideal that all bodies are universally, essentially “good”, want to kill disabled people? NO. Of course not. It’s obvious that it’s a noble - if highly misguided - sentiment.

But the thing about eugenics regarding disabled people, is that it comes, at least in great deal, from considering our mere existence as an inconvenience, including a narrative inconvenience.

Every time a chronically ill/disabled person tries to bring up the fact that we exist whenever healthy able-bodied people are having these Feel Good fests over the inherent “goodness” they’re assigning as a blanket universal trait to all bodies, we’re relegated to a distasteful disclaimer that able-bodied people are begrudgingly acknowledging only so we’ll finally shut up, to then shove us right back under the rug again after it’s done.

We are inconvenient to this notion, and when disabled people become too inconvenient to abled society, we’re erased; at first symbolically, but sooner or later, materially, even if “only” by neglecting us.

The solution to our human reality exposing this platonic, liberal, bio-essentialist narrative for the fallacy that it is, isn’t to force us to deny our reality for your personal comfort or convenience. The solution is to build a narrative that doesn’t contradict reality AND still offers all human beings and our bodies kindness and care in our diversity.

The body isn’t a moral agent, it’s a physical entity that simply exists. It didn’t ask to exist, it doesn’t necessarily try to perpetuate its own existence, and just how (other) animals aren’t good or bad, neither is the human body. The human body doesn’t need to be actively “good” or “kind” in order to deserve care and kindness.

Also, not to be rude, but I refuse to woobify my relationship to my own body. I will not pretend that I don’t feel utter despair regarding the body I was involuntarily cursed with until the day I die just to not make able-bodied people uncomfortable or to be more palatable to them and their world-view. I did that for far too long and all it got me was making both my mental AND PHYSICAL health way, way worse.

tl;dr The human body isn’t “good” or “bad”. It simply is, and by the mere fact that it exists it should be tended to, no matter what. Assigning moral value and agency to a body is bio-essentialism. Hanging the right of a body to care and kindness on an arbitrary criteria gives footing to said right to care and kindness being taken away if said body doesn’t meet this criteria that is wrongly assumed to be universal/inherent. The body doesn’t have to be fuckable or productive to deserve care and kindness, and it also doesn’t have to be “good”. It just has to Be.

[floatingaround8778]

Thanks for writing this.

I'll add something though, even though it's not the point. If people who were sick weren't selfish enough to have kids, this would have been much less of a problem.

I think I am a mistake to exist.

[suddendaydreams]

A normal morning routine:

Wake up

Go to bathroom

Brush teeth

Get changed

Eat breakfast

Drive to work

Proceed to work day routine

My morning routine:

Wake up

Feel dizzy/nauseous/abdominal pain

Lay back down

Sit up/Drink water

Stand up

Go to bathroom

Brush teeth

Feel dizzy/nauseous/abdominal pain

Lay back down

Go to bathroom

Get changed

Feel abdominal pain

Go to bathroom

(Can't eat)

Drive to work

Feel abdominal pain

Stop to go to the bathroom

Continue driving to work

Get to work

Go to bathroom x3

Proceed to work day routine

[floatingaround8778]

how do you manage to be functional through this ?

[floatingaround8778]

If someone knows resources (books, YouTube channels, podcasts etc) that speak about death or afterlife, please let me know!

[haunt-me-x3]

mountain

[floatingaround8778]

I love how peaceful and innocent this photo is!

[floatingaround8778]

Hello. I have been trying to pass through time without asking anyone for help. When I was 16 I had a tonic clonic seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy. My MRI also showed signs of multiple sclerosis, but I didn't have any symptoms yet. On February 2020, while all this situation with Covid started spreading here, I started feeling like I was given an electric shock down my spine. Then it went to my hand, and my leg, covering my left side. It was my first symptom of MS. I have been prescribed Copaxone. I have been suffering from daily nausea for over a year now and have some trouble using my left hand lately. I am trying to go back to classes, but I also suffer from severe panic attacks when I am around others, that end up in seizures. Since July, I have had really bad gastrointestinal pain, that I haven't been able to do the necessary tests for. I need an endoscopy and an MRI, let alone the MRIs I need for MS, that I haven't been able to do either. Anything I eat gives me severe pain that ends up making me scream. Since July, I have only had a few days that I didn't end up screaming. I went to the ER twice, but they sent me back home because the ultrasound they did to me seemed OK and didn't bother furthermore. I was also diagnosed with diabetes lately, but have been unable to get a meter or have a proper diet, which also has prevented me from managing a diet for the bad stomach aches. Most of the time, there's no food at home.

The state in here has been awful, too. My father has been verbally and financially abusing my mother, threatening and insulting her for wanting to get groceries, even when she used her own money. They have been threatening each other with death and it got physical a few times. I haven't been able to work, when the symptoms of MS started, I lost my job at a daycare that I had really struggled to get, and my parent has been verbally abusive for even doing the smallest things, eating, taking a shower, washing my hair. My father has threatened of leaving us and has been getting the paperwork ready to go work at his birth place and leave home, and sadly, he is the only one with a stable job, mom has been going from job to job and without him, we won't be able to afford even the apartment. A couple of months ago, he left me alone while I was having a seizure and didn't notify anyone I needed help.

I don't know what to do, home feels like a battlefield. I just really need to do those tests, they are the most important ones and I'd need about 200€ for the MRIs, the intestinal one and the brain/neck ones. I know that's too much, but really, anything would help me, please? I can't stand all this anymore. I just want to have a chance at getting better. Thank you for taking the time to read. Please share if you can.

paypal.me/floataround

[floatingaround8778]

i hate to repost this but i really really need some help, please please please boost

[ashberrrry]

All these years of existence and i still dont know how to stop a person from crying

[floatingaround8778]

ah, but you can just sit around, perhaps hug them if you know the person doesn't have a hard time being touched, crying is an expression 🧡

[floatingaround8778]

Hello. I have been trying to pass through time without asking anyone for help. When I was 16 I had a tonic clonic seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy. My MRI also showed signs of multiple sclerosis, but I didn't have any symptoms yet. On February 2020, while all this situation with Covid started spreading here, I started feeling like I was given an electric shock down my spine. Then it went to my hand, and my leg, covering my left side. It was my first symptom of MS. I have been prescribed Copaxone. I have been suffering from daily nausea for over a year now and have some trouble using my left hand lately. I am trying to go back to classes, but I also suffer from severe panic attacks when I am around others, that end up in seizures. Since July, I have had really bad gastrointestinal pain, that I haven't been able to do the necessary tests for. I need an endoscopy and an MRI, let alone the MRIs I need for MS, that I haven't been able to do either. Anything I eat gives me severe pain that ends up making me scream. Since July, I have only had a few days that I didn't end up screaming. I went to the ER twice, but they sent me back home because the ultrasound they did to me seemed OK and didn't bother furthermore. I was also diagnosed with diabetes lately, but have been unable to get a meter or have a proper diet, which also has prevented me from managing a diet for the bad stomach aches. Most of the time, there's no food at home.

The state in here has been awful, too. My father has been verbally and financially abusing my mother, threatening and insulting her for wanting to get groceries, even when she used her own money. They have been threatening each other with death and it got physical a few times. I haven't been able to work, when the symptoms of MS started, I lost my job at a daycare that I had really struggled to get, and my parent has been verbally abusive for even doing the smallest things, eating, taking a shower, washing my hair. My father has threatened of leaving us and has been getting the paperwork ready to go work at his birth place and leave home, and sadly, he is the only one with a stable job, mom has been going from job to job and without him, we won't be able to afford even the apartment. A couple of months ago, he left me alone while I was having a seizure and didn't notify anyone I needed help.

I don't know what to do, home feels like a battlefield. I just really need to do those tests, they are the most important ones and I'd need about 200€ for the MRIs, the intestinal one and the brain/neck ones. I know that's too much, but really, anything would help me, please? I can't stand all this anymore. I just want to have a chance at getting better. Thank you for taking the time to read. Please share if you can.

paypal.me/floataround