Floating Fallopians @floatingfallopians-blog - Tumblr Blog

in Serbian, we don’t say ‘middle of nowhere’ - we use ‘vukojebina/вукојебина’ which literally would translate to ‘wolf fuck’ and i’m so proud of my countries language

homoluigi

In english we have “bumblefuck” (bumblebees are the big fat docile bees)

house-haunter

In Ireland we say “backarse nowhere”, as opposed to… frontarse somewhere, I guess?

bisexualgambit

I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.

bisexualgambit

Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things.

We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag.

Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc.

We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)

Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.”

After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room.

I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm

My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison.

But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)

So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.

Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.

hamletthedane

“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese”

I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.

sadisgates

Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho

bisexualgambit

I’m a salty U.S. History Major, that’s why

emeraldboreas-deactivated201809

This is the quality content I signed up for

myboyfriendpetebuttigieg

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.

fortheloveofaprince

…for like 5 minutes

Maths Mock

Paper: People often stick a flake into an ice cream. A flake on an ice cream is called a 99. Sometimes it it spelt ninety - nine. Sometimes it is simply 99.

Me: chill