Its been awhile.
Well a lot has happened since she has left, I have come to accept that she is gone and that I just have to better myself. I ended up going to the beach with someone I did not expect and we went on an adventure together, and the pain vanished and felt good to have someone who falls from the same tree as you around. We went to a new Hmart in town and had a good laugh, she smiled and looked happy which in turn made me feel happy that she was having a good time at least and not seem upset, We go high in my car and just had laughs and talked about our problems went and got some dinner. I have hung with her in the last 3 days and we seem to have gotten closer to one another thou she asked some odd questions that made me over think a bit, she asked if i had plans to do anything if her boyfriend died, and i dont know to me it sounded like would you want to go out.. and i dont know why my head thought like that but the look in her eyes and the way she was watching me. i would but i dont know how the outcomes could be nor if thats what she meant. only time will tell but i hope i can get closer to her and become better friends, maybe i need someone to crack me open instead of me doing it.