We just watched Amy Bradley is Missing and I'm going to start by saying I'm not the usual true crime fan here. I have watched a few shows here and there but I'm not glued to this genre as some folks are. My BIG takeaway from this show is 90's homophobia was a killer in more ways than people want to say. I know this whole take may sound unempathetic to Amy's family but I feel like Netflix found a good way to include 90's homophobia as part of the framework of the story, as they well damn needed to, and I still think they kept it real subtle for the family's sake.
There is a ton of spoilers in this post so please skip if you don't want to be spoiled. I'll try to cut this in the feed.
I'm writing this because I have spent my years working in the field of intimate partner violence (IPV) and gender based violence (GBV). In my years I have had to study and train in human trafficking because even though my main practice is IPV, there is always the possibility that the two problems intersect for one survivor and we always have to be ready to assist with the right engagement, therapy, intervention and resources. If there is one thing that sticks out in my training is that human trafficking doesn't begin with the horror movie, sinister aura that they paint in Hollywood. It starts with oppression, poverty, areas of war conflict and a person who is very vulnerable due to one or all of the circumstances. Homophobia is a form of oppression that makes a person vulnerable no matter what resources they have.
I say all of this because when you watch this documentary, the people talking about the homophobia are mainly Amy's ex girlfriends and close friends. They point out all the ways in which homophobia affected Amy in the 90's, and then the producers for whatever reason decide to cut from these scenes back to a theory of potential suicide -- even though a lot of the documentary has already set up a premise for potential trafficking, and even though the rest of the show posits the big possibility that Amy is a human trafficking victim.
As a Gay who lived in the 90's and survived, I have to say if you are the same as me this is going to be triggering as hell. The way you are going to recognize that Amy was masc presenting during her most private pictures but code switched in her family pictures. The fact that she seemed to be straight presenting in the cruise, down to the fact that her most famous picture is her in a black evening gown. The way her friends and exes talk about the hard times Amy had, signs of depression and how she used alcohol as a coping mechanism. The way her Dad wrote a 3 page letter about being disappointed in his daughter’s choices but then wax poetic with the phrase: but I also wrote in the letter that I do respect it is her life (dude….). All of these things were reality for all of us back then and I believe so central to her story.
If you look at Tik Tok right now the most you are going to find are reviews on the show that hardly mention homophobia, conspiracy theories that talk about Scientology (whatever), and the heteronormative narrative of the FBI sounding like they did the most while doing the least for this poor woman.
Amy is my age. I remember so clearly when the news reel was on my very square TV back then. I remember the confusion that painfully repressed so many things for me, including a Don't Ask Don't Tell Clinton policy that indoctrinated fear into all gays in the military such as I, pushing me into the deepest closet you can ever imagine.
I feel for Amy's family -- but I feel mostly for Amy herself and her exes and close friends who knew the real her. They knew her pain and reality. And I'm grateful they were brave to speak up. As a Lesbian who lived in the Caribbean right before joining the military in the 90's I felt the dodged bullet in this documentary. And I feel a haunting pain for Amy whose story is barely being scratched on the surface and still is buried under a lot of straight, heteronormative nonsense that may hardly have anything to do with her real life.
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