It was your first real move, your first apartment wasn’t far from your parents house, unfortunately, so when the opportunity to move somewhere far, far away presented itself you were gone with the wind.
The apartment you found was perfect, a big one bedroom flat with many windows. Though the two windows in your room were directly across from someone else’s apartment, it didn’t take away from the views you had in your living room.
You signed the lease, got the keys and you were letting the movers bring your boxes in, in no time. “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be all alone in such a big spot like this.” One of the movers joked, you rolled your eyes.
“You should have someone strong around to protect you.” He flexed his biceps in some corny manner, trying to flatter you somehow; yet it only seemed to give you the ick.
“No need.” You whistled, first came jaws, a tiny puppy you’d recently picked up from the pound. He was an absolute sweetheart and you clicked with him from the first time you met him “I have Jaws!” You smiled, now holding the pup in your arms.
“This little guy? He doesn’t seem like he’d hurt a fly!” The himbo in front of you folded his arms over his chest. “Who said I just had one?” You whistled once more “Binks!” You called, to which came running a larger dog.
“Holy shit.” He took a step back, the Rottweiler sat at your feet, panting happily. “Binks is three in a few weeks, she’s friendly, trust me.” Binks was another rescue, she was always so friendly with new people but she knew when playtime was just about over.
“I think we’re just fine here, thanks though!” You forced a smile.
Once the men were done moving everything in, you spoke with their supervisor, making sure everything was taken care of. “Oh and the spare you gave us will be taken care of, we have special services that repurpose any keys that aren’t needed.” You furrowed your brows, it was suspicious but you didn’t want to argue it too much.
They had an option for you to allow them a spare key in case you weren’t home for them to move you stuff in, which sounded reasonable at first but now, you were starting to regret it.
“Are you sure that’s, you know, safe? Legal even-”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head, it’ll be melt down my eleven tonight. I’ll make sure of it.” He smiled, he seemed set on it — probably some sort of commission, maybe it was just part of the job. Though something did feel off about it, you let it go.
You planned how you wanted to decorated the place but of course, that wouldn’t get done until atleast the end of the week. So instead you decorated your room the best you could, hell you even went as far as setting up your desk and cam stuff to maybe even stream a little; get a bit of extra pocket change.
Sitting in front of your laptop with the website pulled up, you were just about ready to go live and then you remembered, turning slowly to the window, you had no curtains.
“Fuck me!” You got up, walking over to the window you analyze your neighbours room. Whoever they were, they had a lot of cool stuff lying around and an easel? Did you manage to move in next door to a painter?
As if on cue, you saw through the open bedroom door the hallway light turned on. You decided to keep watching, so you did just that, crossing your arms over your chest as you observed.
It was a girl, maybe around your age, she was cute you wouldn't lie, but she looked stressed. She didn’t notice you — not yet at least — she tossed down her side bag and began rummaging through the place.
Searching for something until she seemingly found it, a sketchpad? She dropped it down onto the desk in front of the parallel window, still too focused to notice you, she began flipping through the pages clearly muttering to herself.
It wasn’t until she stood up straight, running her hands through her hair, her eyes caught yours and she froze. Now this, this was awkward, the girl was very clearly embarrassed to be caught brainstorming whatever it was she was doing and you — you were people watching, a normal occurrence for you actually.
You both blinked a few times before you decided to give her a small wave and smile, hoping to come off as friendly. She looked behind her then back to you before pointing at herself; she couldn’t be this dense?
You nodded your head, giggling to yourself; cute, probably talented and funny? What a score.
She nervously waved back, you came up with the smart idea to open the window. Looking down at the locks you tried to decipher them before attempting just to make yourself not look stupid, fucking architectures and their complex living designs.
You thought, why not ask your neighbour? Turning your attention back to her you were met with closed curtains, your stomach sank, was it something you’d done? You tried to shrug it off and sat back at your desk, it ruined your mood, even if you could stream you didn’t even really want to anymore.
You typed up a short announcement for your page, letting your fans and followers know that you’d be back in a few days due to your location move. With that, you shut your laptop and plopped down into your bed, Jaws joining you shortly after.
“Hey bud,” you whispered, scratching behind his ear as he flopped over next to you. “I’m not that mean looking, am I Jaws?” You joked, slowly falling asleep as the thought of the girl pacing her room filled your mind.
On the other hand, Ellie was up late, she’d sold one of her pieces earlier that evening but that only meant she had to get to work on her next big thing. “Shit.” She sat on the edge of her bed, her hands pulling at her roots and her knees bouncing.
She could do Salt Lake City, a pretty portrait of what the place would look like post apocalyptic? No, that was too childish. She could do something displaying her personal struggle, but that would be too telling; she didn’t want people to know her personally.
There was so much she could think of but nothing felt right to her, she sighed, laying back in her bed and staring at the ceiling. “Fuck my life.” She muttered, she sat in silence for a bit before turning back to closed curtains.
She felt bad for abruptly cutting of your interaction but she knew she needed her focus, though she was curious, the last person that lived there had their blinds closed all the time; Maybe she should’ve been a bit warmer.
Ellie rose from her spot, slowly walking over to the closed curtains taking a breath before peeking through them. Your room was now dark, but she could still make out your sleeping silhouette on the bed and the small dog you had curled up next to you. “Awe.” She smiled to herself, Ellie had always wanted a dog growing up but Joel had always deemed her ‘not responsible enough’ to handle one.
She stood there watching you, not in a creepy pervy way — maybe just a little bit — but in admiration. You were stunning from what she caught a glimpse from earlier, it made her kinda nervous to have someone as pretty as you just next door.
She sat at her desk, opening her signature sketchbook and beginning to scribble. It was you, your silhouette at the window earlier and you now resting next to your pup, she also drew a small portrait of you with your smile and pretty nose.
All it was missing was your eyes, she couldn’t recall what they looked like and it pissed her off. She spent all night trying to get them right but she couldn’t; she fell asleep at her desk trying to perfect your portrait but alas, her body betrayed her.
You spent the next few days unpacking, Jaws and Binks being your extra set of hands, or paws you should say.
You sat on your couch, Jaws in your lap as you watched ‘Love island’ for the first time. “What the fuck is this.” You muttered to yourself about a hundred times while watching it but you just couldn’t pull yourself away from the screen.
Just as you were about to try and find something else to put on there was a light knock at your door. Jaws was quick to start barking and run to the door, you chuckled. “Alright Jaws, I heard it too.” Padding your way to the door, you weren’t expecting anyone? Who dares disturb you while you're so busy?
When you opened it, you were taken back by the girl before you.
“Hi.” She smiled, very obviously nervous. You gave her a soft smile in return. “Hello.” You greeted playfully.
“I, uh-” She squeezed her eyes shut, thinking. “Sorry, I’m Ellie.” She greeted, sticking her hand out for you to chase, you tilted your head to the side.
“Are you gonna open your eyes, babe?” You giggled, she did, blinking a few times before putting her hand back down. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” You introduced yourself, your name echoing through her head as you smiled at her. She couldn’t collect her thoughts in time, you looked down at her other hand that was pretty preoccupied.
“Is that-” It was a try of two drinks and a small brown paper bag, had she gotten you breakfast? “Oh, yes. Yeah, I didn’t know if you drank coffee or liked tea, so I got you a hot chocolate. Can’t go wrong with that.” She handed you the cup, her hands stained with colors which confirmed your suspicions from the other night; she was a painter.
“Still warm.” It melted your heart, not completely, but you did feel that sting at the back of your throat; the one that only meant one thing, tears.
“I also brought you something to go with it, a croissant, freshly baked.” She handed you the folded paper bag, breakfast in bed? She was pulling so many strings.
“This is so sweet, thank you, what do I owe this pleasure?” She smiled.
“Nothing, I just wanted to properly introduce myself to my new neighbour. I wasn’t all that nice the other night.” She fidgeted in her spot, kicking the ground.
“Don’t apologize, I was- people watching. I’m sorry.” Her apologetic eyes made your stomach jump, something about her was just so intriguing and you wanted to find out what it was. “Uh- would you, like to come in?” You opened the door a bit wider, trying to invite her in.
“I would- love to but I have a meeting with a couple buyers.” She spoke with her hands, it was cute, like a t-Rex with their signature tiny hands.
“Buyers?” You raised a brow, it sounded like what she did was very important. “Yeah, I do art. Well not do, I make art, well- I paint.” She corrected.
“Oh I see,” You smiled, an idea coming to mind. “Well I don’t wanna hold you here any longer, don’t want you to be late or anything.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’ll see you around then?” You asked and she nodded, you bid your goodbyes, as she was heading to the elevator you stuck your head out the door one last time.
“Ellie?” You called, she spun around on her heel, stopped in her tracks. “Maybe you could paint me one day?” You could see the color rise to her cheeks, before she could answer you, you started again.
“You know, like one of your French girls? If you catch my drift?” You smiled wide before disappearing into your apartment.
Ellie’s mind was filled with nothing more than your silhouette, your smell, your smile and your eyes. Sitting in the small conference room, her coffee had gone cold and she’d barely drunk it “like one of your French girls?” She whispered to herself for the thousandth time, smiling to herself; were you flirting with her?
“Ellie?” She turned to Dina, her best friend and basically manager “Can you do this?” She asked, her voice was stern, this was serious. Of course Ellie had sold the painting at the gallery from the night before but now she needed to solidify the price and figure out if they had any other inquiries.
“Yeah, yeah, I got this. In the bag.” She slouched back in her chair, trying to play it cool but the blush that started at your apartment never really went away. “We’re so fucked.” Dina sighed quietly as the buyers entered the room.
“Mister and Misses Nelson! Hello, how are you?” Dina put on her best ‘servicing voice’ she called it — just another way of her saying customer service tone, but she’d never admit that — greeting the married couple.
“I’ve got this.” Ellie reassured herself quietly.
Ellie bursted through her apartment door, tossing down her side bag and shrugging off the sweater she wore. “Fucking idiot.” Kicking her shoes off, she began to pace, now you’d think that she flunked the sale, that the Nelsons walked out and she didn’t get a single penny; well that’s not the case.
She sold, and it was huge, the Nelsons brought in her biggest cheque to date. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars, her chest tightened when she heard it; she was always so used to a mere three thousand, eight thousand, and on some occasions maybe ten thousand, but this? This was big.
That wasn’t the cause of her panic, no, the Nelsons wanted more than the one piece. They’d offered her a contract, they wanted her to do three more pieces.
They’d pay her twenty-five thousand a piece, present them at a high end showcase and go 75/25 on the finalized prices — and no she wasn’t on the short end of the deal, they were giving her most of the profits.
The only issue, Ellie’s pieces as of late had been lack luster in her eyes. Stuff she wouldn’t even sell on eBay in her opinion, the deal was perfect, she couldn’t just pass it up but how the fuck was she supposed to get out of an art block that she’s been facing for almost two months now?
She hadn’t realized she paced herself right into her room, maybe it was for the best because the first thing that popped into her mind was you. Curiously, she sat at her desk, same sketchbook, same spot, now though your environment had changed.
You had curtains now, a pretty pink with a leopard print decorating it, though you hadn’t closed them.
You sat in front of your webcam, wearing nothing more than a large t-shirt and your underwear. You felt lazy tonight, but you had a small fanbase to feed.
Sugama12 left a $25 dollar donation! -> you look so cute tonight.
“Awe you’re so sweet, I’m still unpacking so no special outfit tonight. Can you guys forgive me?” You pouted to the camera, waiting for something to come in.
user398760826: of course !!!
wetpussluvr9: flash us ur tits and maybe we will?
pinksilicone✓ left a $75 dollar donation! -> glad to see you back baby, I know ur hiding that delicious cunt from us.
You rolled your eyes playfully “Penny,” you whined, you made mutuals with Penny when you first started, she taught you everything you needed to know about caming; also taught you how to handle such a crowd.
“Fine you caught me, but you guys have just been so good to me for my first stream back.” You licked your lips, very obviously sneaking a hand between your thighs.
“It just makes me so, I don’t know- horny.” You whimpered, pushing away from the desk in your rolling chair, giving your viewers a peek at your hand down your underwear.
tealblu: ohmygoddddddd
oliveeeerrrrr: that’s so hot
titfckr: been waiting for this all day
Doubleaanderson left a $100 dollar donation! -> take ‘em off.
You smiled, your eyes low, senses filled with pleasure. “Anything for you baby.” You giggled before doing so, your pussy on full display.
“Ta-da.” You smiled, using your fingers to spread yourself. “I’m drenched.” You whined.
giggleshits14: so fucked out and so pretty, god I’ve seen what you’ve done for others
tealblu: slowdown, I can t type wit on e hand we ll
wetpussluvr9: I feel fed.
user398760826: squirting contest !!!
Doubleaanderson left a $150 dollar donation! -> cum, yeah.
pinksilicone✓ left a $350 dollar donation! -> fuck that baby, squirt, yeah.
Thank god for Penny.
“Yes, mommy.” You whined happily, stuffing your cunt with three of your fingers. Pumping them in and out at a steady pace, your jaw hanging slack as your whimpers and whines grew louder.
“Oh my-” There it was, the gush of sweet release. Your stomach caved in as you watched yourself come undone, your floor now resembling one of a swim deck; you had a mess to clean up later.
pinksilicone✓ left a $100 dollar donation! -> good job baby!
Doubleaanderson sent a $500 dollar donation! -> good girl.
You pulled yourself back to your desk, missing the puddle of your own pleasure by inches. You smiled tiredly. “Thank you baby,” you tried fixing your now messy hair.
“Now if you loves don’t mind, I have a mess to clean. I’ll come for you guys another time?” You smiled, many pings coming in as you blew a short kiss to the camera before logging off for the night.
Ellie was astonished at the show you’d just put on, her heart was racing, the beat matching the one between her legs as well. Not only were you drop dead gorgeous in her eyes but you knew your body like the back of your hand, something about it made warmth pool in her underwear.
She needed you, in more than one way, ways that would probably freak you out but god. It was beautiful.
Maybe she should’ve stopped gawking, as you relaxed back in your chair, pushing away from your desk as you let out a long sigh of relief, you smiled to yourself. Slowly turning towards your window, you opened your eyes causing you to shoot up in your chair.
Come to find out, you hadn’t closed your blinds that entire time and to your surprise there sat none other than Ellie at her window very obviously having watched your entire show from her window.
Without thought you quickly got up and shut your newly bought curtains “I’m so fucking stupid.” You muttered to yourself as you held the curtains closed, you probably just scared off the girl of your nonexistent dreams. She’d probably label you a perverted freak, probably move out — seeing as she just found out she lives next door to a camgirl — tell her parents about you and they’d air your business out like dirty laundry to their neighbours.
“Fuck!” You threw yourself onto your fresh spread.
On the other hand, Ellie’s brain was moving like clogs. She sketched you so many times she couldn’t count them all, your pleasured face and your finger stuffed cunt. She imagined you in so many different positions and poses she couldn’t keep them bottled up, it gave her an idea.
She tried to sleep, but she couldn’t get you off her mind. She checked the windows to see if you’d opened your curtains, but still they remained shut. Ellie couldn’t help it, she got up around nine that morning, brewing a cup of black coffee and standing in front of a large empty canvas.
“This is pervy.” She whispered to herself before begin the sketch.
Dina once told Ellie about a flower “Clitoria ternatea” also known as the butterfly pea, Dina explained that it resembled the clit pretty well. Like mother nature's very own pretty pussy in all its glory, searching up a few photos, Ellie shrugged.
“Fuck it.”
She was on a role, or so she thought.
It took Ellie days to finalize the sketch, but once it came time to get to painting she was stuck. She felt as if she'd ruined the image if she added color to it, she was frustrated.
She held the paint filled brush inches away from the canvas, hesitating. “Are you fucking kidding me.” She put the brush down before running a hand over her face, she huffed, staring at the sketch before her.
The thought of you coming back to her, it brought back that warm feeling in her stomach and the clench between her thighs. “Mm- fuck.” She shifted, trying to fix her underwear.
Still uncomfortable, still wet. “Shit.” She muttered, she took a moment to think to herself, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to-
“No, fuck that.” She began pacing, even peeked through her curtain to see what you were up to. Your curtains were wide open but the place was empty, just your two pups on your bed cuddled up together, sleeping.
“Of course, she’s not home.” She muttered, walking back to the piece she was working on. It felt as if the painting had gotten bigger, as if when she turned her back it doubled in size.
“No. No! It wasn’t this big before!” She grumbled, the flower was intimidating, the empty lines pleading for color. The white fabric seemed to be discolouring by the second, the image was distorting itself before her.
“Fuck off, Fuck. Off.”
She slammed her room door shut, shutting her curtains and dimming the room lights. Maybe it’s what she needed, a break from the brainstorming; she pulled up her laptop, ready to watch something corny and fall asleep hopefully.
She sat at her home screen for a minute, her mind wandering to none other than you. She glanced at her curtains, she could tell your lights were still off; you hadn’t come home yet.
“This is weird.” She whispered to herself as she opened her browser, switching to incognito and as if on cue she got a text from Dina.
The Man (Dina): Nelson's found a showcase, three months away.
her heart dropped.
The Man(Dina): big spenders, big opportunity. bring ur best els, i know u can.
It was all too much, she wasn’t used to such high stress situations like this. A time crunch? She didn’t do that shit, it took her in total a month over the span of eight months to complete one piece and now she was pushing out orders like a machine?
She sighed “Gotta loosen the screws somehow.” Ellie didn’t know where to start exactly, so she opened Instagram and searched your name. There you were, even your socials were pink — even if the layout was black, you somehow made it radiate a pretty pink.
Scrolling through your photos only made the girl realize that you were just as gorgeous online, there were thousands of people on your page you’d managed to rack up a solid fifty thousand followers. “Fuck me.” Ellie whispered as she sat up, moving her laptop into her lap.
Her brows creased as she scrolled your page, eventually moving on to your stories which were way more lewd. She eventually came across a clip of you and Penny together “If you wanna see us kiss you should like, click the link!” Penny joked and you giggled, the two of you very obviously sweaty from your previous activities.
Ellie knew better, it was an invasion of your privacy, hell she’d just met you — but it wasn’t a want at this point, no, it was a need.
The link led straight to a pretty pink website, very obviously your page, it was an old stream.
You sat on Penny’s bed, making sure you were live. The comments came flooding in, asking questions about your new location and pretty lingerie set.
“Is it live?” Penny asked, still fiddling with the camera, you shrugged. “You tell me.” You smiled.
“You bitch.”
bushbrigade1998: omg is this a collab?
user1290347865: I know this room.
pussygenie: You&Penny? Same room? This is about to get messy. LOVE.
nightowl5: get on with it.
cl1tf1ndr: that red one piece is stunning on u
katkilla✓: Penny find a new bombshell?
“Kitty? No fucking way!” Penny crawled into the bed next to you, reading the comments from your phone. “What do we owe this big surprise? You already know the answer to that.” Penny smirked at the camera.
katkilla✓: well??? introduce us!
So she did, placing a gentle hand around your throat as she told the audience who you were. “She’s such a good girl, I promise.” Reaching her thumb up and caressing your bottom lip gently.
“So? What should I do with her?” She asked the camera, picking your phone up waiting for a response.
venusclaire: GET, THE, STRAAAAAAAAAAAP
nightowl5: fuck! please!
user6969: oooo mating press!
“C’monnnn, I know you guys can do better than this.” You learned that Penny ran a strict program, no matter how many comments you responded to, you never — ever — take orders from anyone that isn’t donating.
Penny held your chin up with her free fingers, while her thumb remained inside your mouth, pressing against your tongue.
glitterclirz left a $50 dollar donation! -> show us her boobs.
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Penny smiled, putting your phone down in front of you both. Taking her now damp thumb and sucking it clean from any excess saliva, you both giggled.
Penny slid behind you, moving your hair out of the way and resting her head in the crook of your neck “She smells so good, like warm vanilla.” She boasted before shoving her nose into your skin “Penny, oh my god!” You giggled, she undid your bra, letting the Lacey material fall before you.
“Oh my god.” Ellie whispered to herself, setting her laptop back on the bed and sprawling across her mattress as she began skipping through the video.
She got to a point where you’d both stripped down, the camera was no longer mounted now in the hands of Penny as she fingered you open, your moans loud as you gripped the red duvet beneath you.
“Slip me a third- Please!” You begged, staring up into the camera, your eyes watery as if you were on the verge of tears. “So polite,” Penny taunted, but she did what you asked.
“Fuck.” You breathed.
Ellie was infatuated with you, skipping further, the two of you now grinding against each other. The ache between her legs was unbearable in her underwear, yet she felt as if she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the screen; from you.
The camera was mounted once more, but off to the side this time. You were on top, being heavily guided by the girl beneath you “Penny, oh my god!” If you weren’t crying before, you definitely were now. Your voice was high pitched and shaky, your whimpers loud and long as the sound of your two sloppy cunts making out filled the room.
“You’re doing great.” Penny whispered to you, she knew you were overwhelmed but you had an audience to please “Just one more, I know you can, for me?”
And as always, you did what was asked of you, Penny sat up to meet you, your skin colliding and breaths aligning. “You’re so pretty.” Was all you could get out before kissing your best friend as you both finished, you held on to each other tight.
Ellie didn’t bother to stick around to see the rest, if she wasn’t horny before she was now. Scrolling your page, you had a lot of content up, many playlists and popular videos which eventually led her to your most recent upload.
The stream from a few nights ago, she was too deep to turn back now so she opened it. She skipped ahead, getting around to you touching yourself beneath the desk. Ellie didn’t hesitate, flipping onto her back and stuffing a hand down her track pants and underwear trying to follow your lead.
Running gentle circles over her own clit before catching your hand moving a bit quicker “Shit.” She uttered through gritted teeth, picking up her pace with you.
You eventually got around to fingering yourself, Ellie of course followed, sliding her slender fingers in and out of herself at a similar pace “Holy Fuck-”
She stared up at the ceiling, brows furrowed and her bottom lip tucked between her teeth as her stomach tightened. “Oh my-” she heard you whimper one last time but she kept going, feeling herself grow closer by the second.
She said your name like it’d summon you, whimpering in between each call as her orgasm washed over her. It was like a shock of electricity followed by nothing. She blacked out.
What woke her was another ping from her laptop, she stirred in her unconscious state before rolling over onto her still open laptop.
“The fuck?” She rested herself on her elbows, still groggy. Her laptop screen lighting up and reading
‘5:43 AM’
“Oh my god.” She groaned, buried her head into her pillow. Which was interrupted by another ping, she turned her head just enough to see the notification, it was Dina again.
The Man(Dina): I know this is a lot, don’t overwork urself, or anything
The Man(Dina): I kinda need u alive to have a job, yk?
The Man(Dina): No pressure :).
Ellie was still too preoccupied from the previous climax she was coming down from to care, the fuzzy feeling throughout her body and shaky legs. She slammed her laptop shut before flipping over and sighing “I’m too fucked for this.” She muttered before succumbing to her ever most needed sleep.
Her dreams weren’t any help either, you were there, making sure she did everything but sleep in her dreams.
the fire placed glowed in front of you, its crackling making for a gentle song in your quiet home. dim stars littered the sky as a shade of blue and gray washed over the horizon. it was beautiful, private; just you and abby finding your own rhythm amongst the chaos of the world.
she sat on the worn rug in front of you, sitting criss cross whilst she sipped on her mug of tea. you were behind her, sinking into the couch as your fingers ran rampantly through her golden locks. each wave catching slightly as you massaged her scalp. now and then, she'd let out a sigh of contentment, shoulders loosening with each stroke of your hand.
abby's hair was something sacred. representing her independence and hardships, her own journey of navigating through a vale of tears. when you had first started dating, it was very rare that you touched her locks. opting to let her open that part of her life when she was ready. however, as your relationship began to blossom over the years, she found much comfort in letting you enter that part of her life.
and now here you were, spending the evening reveling in each other's presence, plaiting her hair in the way she had always loved. it made you smile as you looked down at her. noticing the way her eyes would flutter shut as you twisted one strand over another. it made your heart swell to know that she trusted you like this.
"that feels nice" she whispered leaning against the sofa cushions.
"yeah?" you smiled, reaching the end of the braid.
she nodded slightly as to not ruin her hair, and you could tell she was smiling too. not long after, just as the tea ran cold and the sky grew darker, you had finished the lacing of her hair and tied it with a pretty pink bow. she was never one to accessorize, though you felt she deserved to be treated like a princess no matter how silly the occasion might have seemed.
you leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, a way of letting her know you were finished with her hair. abby felt warm against your lips, the scent of pine and vanilla overcoming your senses as you drew nearer. her head tilted to the side to look up at you, arm reaching to catch your chin before you could move away.
suddenly, her lips were on yours, molding together like the foam of the sea melting into the waves. it was tender and sweet and full of love, both of you sighing into the embrace. her eyes gazed at you once you pulled away, the shades of blue reminding you of the forget me nots in the front yard. the memory of you planting them together when you first moved in washed over you.
"you okay?" she asked, realizing you were staring at her blankly.
"yeah" you grinned, shaking your head "everything's perfect"
content::: 18+; men dni; angst, fluff, emotional baggage, mutual pining, love triangles, AU, no cordyceps outbreak, hurt ellie, hurt reader, unresolved emotional tension, emotional infidelity, everybody is hurt tbh, joel is ellie's parent, tommy is a paleontologist here please bear with me, POV alternating, grief/mourning, AFAB, joel lives, reader needs a hug, ellie needs a hug, dina needs a hug, everybody needs a hug, I need a hug, flashbacks, dreams vs. reality, friendship/love, unrequited love, it's sounding very much like my life i'm starting to get worried, i forgot the other things so i'm updating at some point, science, dubious science, math and science metaphors, yeah i guess that's it for now;
synopsis::: The population of Austin is about one million.
The chances of running into one specific person while both of you move randomly, like two particles in space, are around one in a hundred thousand. Running into them again the next day, under the same conditions, drops the chances to about one in ten billion.
But a third time?
It stops feeling like probability. Like a coincidence. Like a random collision between two bodies in motion.
It starts to feel like something else.
Like fate.
Because the odds of all this happening, and of you falling in love, can’t be solved like an equation. No formula can predict love.
Your dream always seemed simple. Graduate and work with what you love: fossils, paleontology, history, mystery. But under layers of pain and trauma, there is another dream, locked away so reality can’t break it again.
Love.
The kind people think only exists in fiction, not in real life. Because reality has a way of crushing beautiful things.
But life crosses paths just to remind you that nothing is really under control. Feelings can’t be calculated or predicted. Sometimes they just happen, like they were meant to.
In the form of green eyes and freckles that linger in your mind like dust.
Hi 👋 I was hoping to make a request for a powder au ? R liked annoying powder as a kid but also was her bff (had a crush on her,never said anything) she kinda hated it but also didnt? but r suddenly disappeared. They run into each other in college, they both start realizing their feelings. Just a lot of fluff thank you!🩷💕
of course! thank you for the request <3
❥・summary; as a child, powder was the only person you could truly connect with. after the bridge, though, the two of you fell out of touch- only to meet each other again in college.
❥・tags/warnings; au!powder, university au, but i'll use the word 'college' bc i'm american sorry, childhood best friends to strangers to friends to lovers, pining, fluff.
❥・wc; 6.9k
hii! this is such a cute request, i wasn't sure if you wanted au powder or powder to jinx so i went with au powder. i'm so sorry if that wasn't your vision
“powder, you can’t say that!” you gasp, having to stifle a laugh. your friend is already doubled over, clutching her stomach- she finds herself absolutely hilarious.
“what? i’m just saying what everyone else is thinking!”
you roll your eyes and shake your head. you know that anything else you say will fall on deaf ears, and honestly? what she said had some truth to it. you won’t give her the satisfaction of being right.
“so what if that enforcer was ugly?! you can’t compare him to a toad! that’s, like, disrespectful to toads all around the world!”
“oh, please, it doesn’t matter. you know i’m right.”
“nope.”
powder leans forward from where she’s sitting on the staircase, cloudy night sky stretching out over the two of you. although zaun never truly sleeps, this time of evening usually holds a peaceful tranquility you can’t find any other part of the day. the streets neighboring you are filled with idle chatter rather than boisterous laughter and drunken tumbling.
you and powder have been best friends since the fateful day the two of you bumped into each other in the lanes. her older sister was by her side, holding her hand to make sure she didn’t get lost amongst the chaos that was the undercity. both of you were eight years old, in that awkward phase where you aren’t quite little kids, now starting to gain an understanding of the world around you- yet still too young to truly comprehend all of it.
you gave the girl a little wave, and she waved back, a small smile tugging at her lips. vi looked down at her, then over to you, and a silent exchange seemed to happen between the two of you before vi let go of her hand and powder came running over to you, eagerly introducing herself. almost anxious to make a new friend, but excited nonetheless.
you were always too shy to approach other kids first. much like the majority of zaun’s child population, you were without a conventional family- only having your father and siblings to rely on. even so, that was unstable, seeing as your father worked more than he was ever home so that he could afford to keep a roof over your head.
a quick friendship blossomed between you and powder. soon enough, the two of you were attached at the hip- “never one without the other,” as vi put it. vander welcomed you into his home as if you were another one of his adopted kids, an ever-growing nest. of all the people you knew, powder was the only person that you felt could truly understand you.
and beside her sister, powder felt the same.
now, at twelve, you two are so close to that terrifying stage that is the teenage years- anxious and excited all the same, feeling a little less afraid since the two of you will be entering it together.
of the pair of you, you’ve always been the more level-headed one. both of you are equally smart, but powder tends to live with her head in the clouds. often, you’re the one that has to ground her- and in the same vein, she’s reminding you to think bigger, to dream bigger. opposites in mindset, but it works perfectly. you balance each other out.
“yeah, and you know it.” powder snorts.
you just shake your head, letting out a heavy sigh of exasperation. “whatever you say, pow-pow.”
her expression lights up and she pumps her fist like you’ve just confirmed a great victory, and you chuckle at this. before long, the girl is onto the next subject, yapping away in the way you’ve grown to take great comfort in.
“so.. vi and vander are planning this thing tomorrow at the bridge, saying they wanna take down silco and his goons! but stupid vi keeps saying i can’t come,” she grumbles.
you know this well. it’s not like she’s told you a million and one times- but still, you’re always here to listen.
“it’s for your own good,” you gently remind her, and now it’s powder’s turn to roll her eyes. “she doesn’t want you getting hurt.”
“i’m a big kid, i can handle myself,” she insists. “aaanyways.. i’ve been working on a new monkey bomb with the crystals we found up topside!”
the girl fishes one of the little hex gems out of her side satchel to show you, smiling ear to ear. no matter how many times you see these, they’re remarkable- how could piltover make something so incredible, and how could powder decipher them so quickly?
“yeah?” you prompt.
“i’m gonna go, no matter what vi says. it’s gonna work this time, i know it will. vi’s just scared about nothing- she’ll see! it’ll be so awesome, like- i’m gonna save the day kind of awesome, and then they’re gonna have to see how strong i am. mylo and claggor too.”
you give a small smile, endeared by her enthusiasm. you can’t help the worry that clouds your mind, though, despite how sure of herself she seems.
at the same time, you’ve been friends with powder long enough to know that once she’s made up her mind, there’s no changing it. try as you might to talk her down, you’d be wasting your breath.
“..just be careful, okay?”
powder giggles, giving your shoulder a playful shove. “you worry too much. i’ll be fine.”
you sigh, nodding slowly. seeing your expression- furrowed brows, slight frown, powder’s expression sobers a bit and she pulls you into her side for a hug.
“seriously. i’ll be okay. you’ll see!”
powder, in fact, was not okay.
seldom were you so panicked. you lived close enough to the bridge to hear all of the commotion. you heard the explosions, then debris raining down on your roof. destruction as far as the eye could reach. looking out of your window that never quite closed, you saw the remains of that bridge and vander falling from it- then powder’s wails.
although you couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, you could tell that she was in utter agony. all the loss the two of you have witnessed, all the episodes you’ve helped her through, and you’ve never heard her like this. it brought tears to your own eyes, and right before you were out to jump out of that window to rush to the scene, your father tugged you back by your shirt.
“please, let me go-” you choked out through tears, scrambling to escape his grasp. looking over your shoulder, he only shook his head.
“better not to get involved.”
and fuck, he was right. that fact only upset you more. he know how deep your bond was, but he couldn’t risk you getting caught in crossfire. he couldn’t risk losing his eldest daughter.
you thought you’d hear something more from powder after the fact. the next day, you anxiously waited by your doorstep for her to turn up like she usually would- yet the never did. days of radio silence turned into weeks, then months.
it killed you. you blamed yourself more often than not- wishing that you could’ve done something to change her mind, even if you knew what was almost always a losing battle. tiptoeing through old memories of the two of you together. laughing, smiling, playing hopscotch in the alley and getting scolded for staying out so late. it brought you to tears without fail.
you had heard things through the grapevine. that it was a whirlwind, that powder killed everyone- then that was disproven, and there was said to be only one casualty, but you couldn’t get clear who exactly it was.
after some more time, it became clear, seeing as everyone in the undercity was saying the same thing: vi passed away.
powder held her dying sister in her arms and screamed out for her, pleading for her not to die. apologizing over and over until her vocal chords were strained. that was what you had heard that night, and knowing the full context of it made your heart ache even more.
if only you could’ve stopped her. if only.
you tried to go by the last drop, only to be greeted by vander- if he even was there, as he hired someone to help around the place after vi’s death. whenever you asked for powder, he’d just give a sad smile, and tell you that she wasn’t taking visitors at the moment.
it was hard for you not to take it to heart. it was even harder for you to move after your father decided to uproot the household and move them to a more affluent part of zaun- what could almost be called a suburb.
you tried to protest. you liked your life in the lanes, as unpredictable as it was- but your dad argued that this was the best for you and your siblings. you deserved better than to grow up by constant street fights. you deserved a better education. you had no choice in the matter, anyway, so you dragged your heels to your new home.
the years went by. things changed, you changed, you grew from an unsure young girl to a slightly-less-unsure young woman.
despite the passage of time, you never forgot about powder. the thought of her lingered in the back of your mind- what was she up to now? where did life take her? was she still in the lanes? the image of her, frozen in time as the lanky 12-year-old with the twinkling blue eyes and bright smile, wouldn’t leave you. you didn’t want it to.
life went on, though. sure enough, you went to a better high school, making it into honors classes and even earning a few college credits early. you made a few friends, keeping a small and tight-knit circle. you were close to all of them in different ways- and still, none of them could quite fill the hole in your heart that powder’s absence left.
the social and economic conditions of the undercity improved in ways you would’ve never thought possible just a few years ago. the sky was clearer, more people were housed, more people had access to higher education. a brand new trade school was built on the outskirts, which was a big deal for a city that’s never even had a college.
nights filled with laughter and fun memories didn’t hold a candle to your nights spent playing ball in back alleys and watching pirated movies on vander’s old box tv. and you hated how you felt, because these were good people that you were spending time with. you loved them and they loved you, treated you in all of the ways that friends should. yet no matter how hard you tried to move on, you couldn’t.
a part of powder would be with you forevermore.
even if it tugged at your heartstrings and made you cry in your bed as you submitted college applications. even if she was a frequent topic of discussion in your journals, and endless songs would always remind you of her.
your first day at the academy proved.. confusing.
overwhelming.
you were in five courses this semester, a good starting point, as you were told. two gen-ed classes, and three relating to your major. truth be told, you didn’t expect to actually get into the academy, granted with their openly elitist practices. students from zaun are few and far between. zaunite applications get thrown away frequently, and those who are admitted have a much higher standard to live up to.
you were shocked to even be admitted, and to your astonishment, you got a full-ride scholarship. you decided to pay the extra fee for a single dorm, seeing as it was covered by your scholarship. moving in was more of a pain than you expected. it’s true, the saying that you never realize how much stuff you truly have until it’s time to move.
despite the challenges, you’re here, and you’re gonna make sure to count your blessings daily. two classes monday, wednesday and friday, three on tuesday and thursday. your first day is a wednesday, and the morning class was related to your major. no heavy courseload yet, just introductions and the syllabus- as well as reluctant icebreakers.
last class.. modern physics: quantum mechanics. why this was a general education requirement, you had no idea. science was the credit you needed to get, but why were you enrolled in this course specifically?
it’s not that you don’t understand physics. it’s just that in all of your high school physics classes, you passed by the skin of your teeth. it’s not among your many strengths. what made it even worse is that none of your high school friends had been accepted into the academy, so you had nobody to rely on in class. nobody to borrow notes from. nobody to study with.
stepping into the crowded lecture hall, you saw a sea of people already there. some sat in the very front, an ambitious decision- and some huddled in the back. very few in the rows in between. after a few looks at who was sitting where, you decided to sit in the row third from the front. it had the least amount of people currently occupying it, though you figured the entire hall would be filled within moments.
you were right.
you grabbed your laptop from your bookbag and opened it to the online course page, as well as an empty spiral notebook and a ballpoint pen. just in case.
soon enough, the professor entered with a laptop and powerpoint ready, talking about the same procedures you’ve had explained several times. an overview of the course, attendance, grading policies, AI policy, deadlines, office hours.. it’s the same for every class with very minor changes. letting your mind drift for a moment, your gaze shifts from student to student in the rows in front of you. one is playing slither.io on their laptop, another is paying attention but yawning very loudly, another is resting their chin in their hand and seemingly trying to keep from falling asleep. your eye catches someone, though, sitting at the very front.
a girl with a petite frame, pale skin, in a green vest. her hair is pulled into high space buns, blue with a little pink streak on one side.
you recognize that shade of blue.
you recognize those shoulder freckles.
suddenly, your heart feels as if it might beat out of your chest, and you’re physically unable to focus on what the professor is saying. you can’t get ahead of yourself, you keep trying to think, but you wish so badly that the girl would just turn around. if only for a split second, so that you could see if she is who you think she might be.
you’re not sure if you hope it’ll be her or not. all these years spent missing your once-best-friend, and now you’re utterly terrified at the prospect of actually seeing her again.
would it be awkward? would the dynamic be the same? would powder think that you left her behind, or that you forgot about her?
worse, did she forget you?
you can hear your pulse in your ears, and suddenly, your hands gripping the chair beneath you begin to soak the plastic in sweat. the minutes crawl by as your mind races a mile a minute, thinking of every possible way this could end.
where do you even go from here? approach her? make a fool of yourself?
“class dismissed,” the professor says, cutting through your thoughts. with a huff, you stuff your laptop and stationery back into your bag. your eyes barely leave the girl in front of you for a second, and she turns to the side when the person next to her asks her a question- and you swear you can feel your heart stop. it’s as if the world stills completely.
that side profile.
those same twinkling, powder-blue eyes are locked on your classmate. the slim, low-bridged nose, the same gapped smile. you’d recognize it anywhere. if you were sweating before, your body is absolutely overwhelmed now. powder and your classmate wave goodbye to each other, and then she turns just a little more- and her eyes catch yours.
your heart stutters. for a moment, she stares at you dumbly, thick brows furrowing, but a beat later she’s gasping and rushing over to you.
“holy shit, it’s you!”
your eyes widen, and all you can manage is to nod. “and.. powder!”
all of the anxiety has washed away. the absolute best case scenario has happened, the girl from so long ago remembers you just as vividly as you do her. she hasn’t moved on, hasn’t replaced you.
without hesitation, powder throws her arms around your shoulders and giggles, and you allow yourself to laugh with her as you return her embrace. you’ve been waiting for this for years now- her arms are tight around you, and she’s got that same smell of vanilla body wash and vague oil from her mechanics that you remember so well.
it’s a bit awkward, being in the aisle of a lecture hall. a few students scoff and push past you, but neither of you pay any mind. you’ll savor this moment for as long as humanly possible.
you pull away reluctantly, enough to meet her eyes. do you see tears welling? you let out a breathy laugh. “what the hell happened to you?”
“well.. vi passed away,” she sighs, a flicker of inexplicable grief passing over her expression. she squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, though, and continues. “and after everything, vander wanted to lay low for a while. give us time to grieve, make sure that we’re safe, and give him time to get it through my head that this wasn’t my fault. i really struggled for a while, you know? i still do. i just.. i wanna make her proud. i wanted to come here, but mylo gave me the push i needed. said that vi would’ve wanted to see me make something of myself.”
you nod slowly, face softening with her words. you loosen your embrace to take one of her hands in yours and give it a gentle squeeze.
“yeah,” you murmur. “i think so too.”
powder presses her lips into a thin line. “and i thought of you. constantly. i wanted to go out and find you, but vander insisted we all stay in his line of sight. he was worried i’d do something since i wasn’t..” she gestures vaguely to her head with her free hand. “all there, mentally. but i just wanted to find you.”
gods, you’ve wanted to hear that for so long.
all this time wondering. finally, you have an answer, and you feel as if you’re floating. absolutely untouchable to the outside world.
“i tried looking for you too,” you breathe out. “but vander.. he always turned me away.”
powder’s eyes widen momentarily, and you figure that he must’ve never told her this.
“..by the time i could go to your house, it was empty. i tried to ask around, but everyone just said you moved. i knew that, but nobody knew where you moved to.”
“i’m sorry, i- my dad, he wanted to move us to a..” you can’t say ‘nicer’ when you mean richer. “..more affluent part of zaun, so we could go to better schools, and we weren’t around the chaos of the lanes.”
powder huffs at that, a smile tugging at her lips before shaking her head. “yeah, sounds like your old man.”
you shrug, mirroring her smile. she perks up then, and finally starts walking toward the exit.
“do you wanna see my place?”
“sure,” you hum. “what dorm?”
“i’m living off campus. cheaper that way.”
you just nod, following her lead.
soon enough, you and powder fell back into a familiar routine. there were some nerves at first, with all the life changes that had happened- both of you going from children to young adults, the entire world at your fingertips, and trying to navigate exactly what that means for you. one thing you’re sure about is that it’s much less daunting with a friend by your side.
after the initial stages, it was like no time had passed at all. despite powder’s appearance changing and her life taking a different direction, the dynamic was the same. her personality remained unchanged for the most part- still the same spunky, ambitious, brave, genius girl you once knew.
you learned that she was majoring in mechanical engineering, and that the class you shared was a requirement for that. she was surprised upon learning that it was just a gen-ed class for you, but shrugged it off. freshman scheduling is odd in that way.
you exchanged phone numbers and social media, and powder was disappointed to see that you only had an instagram which you never posted on. you just laughed, citing that you were always the more reserved one in the friendship.
you explored campus together, went to the various dining halls and cringed at the less-than-stellar ‘food’ they offered. you laughed at the gaudy academy merchandise that the rich kids wore like they were paid to. but now, only three weeks into the semester, you’re coming up on your first exam.
“do you wanna study together?” the girl had proposed, and you accepted immediately. she smiled, and pursed her lips. “where should we go?”
“campus library?” you suggested, but powder shook her head.
“no, too many people. i’ll get distracted.”
“..cafe?”
“same thing! ugh, can’t we just go to your dorm?”
you’re not sure why you haven’t thought of that, and you’re not sure why the mere idea is making heat rise to your cheeks. you nod slowly.
“uh- yeah. dorm works, it isn’t too far a walk..”
“superposition,” powder says, leaning closer to you. the two of you are sat on your dorm floor atop your rug, notebooks, textbooks, pens, and highlights scattered all over. it’s past dark now, and you’ve been at this for hours.
clearly, your friend is understanding this, but it feels like a foreign language to you. one without a dictionary, and powder is trying her absolute best to explain everything- you’d feel awful admitting that despite her efforts, this still makes no sense to you.
the problem on the study guide seems to be mocking you. you look at it over and over again. i = 24 3+2 − 7 2 3+2 − 3i 3+2 =2 − 3 5 i , and even though powder has offered to give you the answer multiple times, you’ve declined every single one.
“this is college, pow,” you sighed. “i can’t rely on others for stuff i should know.”
isolate one source, then analyze the modified circuit, repeat, sum.
it sounds so simple on paper, but in practice, you feel helpless. all those years of studying and all those good grades, seemingly for nothing- at least that’s the way you’re seeing it.
powder’s gone back to her own study guide, which she’s almost fully through. she’s solved every practice problem, memorized every definition and formula that she’ll need for the test. probably the ones she won’t need, too.
finally, though, you manage to isolate the source and analyze. for one, then the next, then you’re finished.
one practice problem down, fourteen to go.
“look at you,” powder giggles. “see? i knew you’d get it!”
you brush off her words with a small smile, shaking your head and rushing to write down the next problems. after the torment that was figuring out the first one, the rest come easily to you. same formula, different numbers, similar outcomes.
you’re not sure what makes your professor’s teaching so confusing. you’re not sure if it’s anything to do with her to begin with, but whatever powder has done has helped tremendously.
by now, she’s moving on to making her own practice problems, cross-referencing the textbook and study guide. you almost envy the girl’s understanding of this, but then again, she’s always been a genius. always been good at solving problems and working with her hands. it’s no wonder that she’s decided to go into this field.
“you’re really good at this,” you murmur, and powder snorts. just like old times, you think.
“eh, i’m alright. i know my way around.”
“no, seriously. i knew you were smart, but this is.. wow.”
powder gives a soft smile, shrugging and scratching down the rest of her practice problem. “you give me too much credit.”
“just accept the compliment.”
“alright, alright,” she rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “thank you.”
you look out the window, then at the time on your phone. 11:39 already? it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, but then again, powder was always the type of friend that made time fly by just by being with her.
it’s good to see that some things don’t change.
“do you.. wanna stay over for the night? i’d just feel awful sending you to get home this late, and- i mean, i have an extra bed,” you gesture to the other side of the room, seeing powder’s blue eyes lift from her notebook. “you don’t have to. just offering.”
“alright,” powder sighs, not seeming to take any time to reflect. like a reflex. for some reason, that makes your heart surge, unlike the feeling you got during sleepovers as a kid. you brush it off.
she closes her notebook and haphazardly shoves it in her bag, kicking it to the side as she makes her way to your bathroom to wash up. you dim the lights before joining her in brushing your teeth and washing your face, then going back into your bedroom to change into pajamas. you feel bad almost, knowing powder didn’t bring anything of her own. she’s always been more than welcome to your wardrobe, though- and all of your belongings, really.
once she’s done, her hair let down and shorter than you remember it- you near gasp, seeing just how beautiful it looks falling over her shoulders- she climbs into your guest bed, directly opposite yours. with a yawn, you turn over and get under the covers.
“ready for bed?”
“mhm,” she murmurs, voice laced with exhaustion.
you reach over to turn your lamp off, and powder echoes your yawn. you hear some shuffling, then silence. closing your eyes, turning over.
it’s been a day.
of all the scenarios in your head, fantasizing about how you and powder might reunite, none of them played out quite like this. you thought you might bump into each other on the street, or find each other on social media, or find her working at a local shop. she never mentioned dreams of higher education, though.
all of that aside, though, you’re grateful that you’re finally together again. although you wish that you would’ve seen the years forming her into the woman she is now, you’re impressed by who she’s grown up to be. you hope that with even more time, you can learn the things that changed her, made her light up, and made her weep in the night.
you just want to be close to her again. so far, this seems promising.
powder cuts through your thoughts with a whispered “goodnight,” and her voice makes something in you ache.
“goodnight,” you reply.
you and powder rarely go anywhere without each other now.
after visiting the last drop for the first time in years, vander has welcomed you with open arms and explained all of what happened from his perspective. you were understanding, you forgave him, and within no time, the dynamic went back to the same it was years ago.
she’s still troubled. that much is clear. time doesn’t heal all wounds, and losing her sister has done more damage than she can explain. you don’t try to rationalize the pain to her, nor do you try to fix it. you’re happy to just sit with her in it, to rub her back as she cries and to tell her that vi would be so endlessly proud of what she’s doing. of all she’s accomplished. for powder, that’s enough.
it honestly shocked you, how quickly things settled into place. you expected some initial awkwardness and growing pains, yet none of those were present. powder had obviously changed, but not in any ways that would change your friendship.
you don’t remember her being this.. touchy, though.
it’s been a little over a month since that fateful meeting. it’s been a little over a month of slowly learning the basics of quantum physics, which powder has already finished. an easy A, as she puts it, just something to guarantee her degree. the lectures are drawn-out and dry, the homework is near incomprehensible. every time you look at the figures presented to you, you squint like you’re trying to read an ancient language.
somehow, powder is always able to reframe things in a way that you’ll understand. she’s truly been your saving grace, and you don’t believe you’d be passing without her guidance. late nights spent in your dorm have become routine. you enter class together, you leave together, you submit your assignments right after she submits hers.
this would surely ruin your friendship. considering that there’s no way in hell she’d ever return your affections, at least not in the romantic sense, you can’t imagine possibly confessing to her. confessing to her, and then ruining something so good. you’ve just gotten powder back after seven years.
you don’t want to risk losing her again.
today, you’ve had a lecture about the uncertainty principle. while most of it went over your head, powder assured you that she’d help you. just like always. as you pack up your bag and sling it over your shoulders, powder walks into your aisle and you give her a soft smile.
“hey, pow.”
“hey,” she hums. “everything good? your brain hasn’t totally turned to mush, right?”
“not yet,” you chuckle. “i’ll be fine. i have a great teacher right here.”
“oh, hush.”
powder playfully shoves your shoulder and you giggle, starting to head toward the exit of the hall. “say, there’s a new boba place nearby.. do you wanna check it out?”
powder nods quicker than she can think.
“do i? how far?”
“about a ten minute walk,” you say, pulling out your phone to start directions. “not bad.”
the girl shrugs, and you’re on your way.
you hold open the door for her upon arrival, and powder murmurs a quick ‘thank you’ before stepping in. you look over the menu for a few moments before she smiles and goes up to the counter. once you both place your orders, you reach for your card, and powder gasps.
“hey, no!”
“i’ve got it,” you insist.
“no. you paid for lunch last time, so i’ll get it this time.”
“powder, really, it’s okay,” you huff, smiling gently. “if it bothers you that much, you can pay next time.”
the girl opens her mouth to argue, but you’ve already tapped your card before she can. she rolls her eyes and groans, practically dragging her feet to the other side of the counter to wait for your order. you have to stifle a laugh.
despite herself, when you join her, powder lays her head on your shoulder and leans into you. though still not happy, she’s so comfortable. so content.
messy, choppy blue locks sprawl over your shoulder, warmth radiating off her like sunrays on a spring day. the smell of oil is braided with her fruity perfume, and she sighs against you. crosses her arms as you ruffle her hair, and gives a lopsided smile.
gods, you think. she’s adorable.
heat rises to your cheeks as she relaxes more and more into you, but before you can truly soak in the moment, your name is called and your drinks are placed on the counter. powder’s smile widens and she snatches up the boba, and that’s when you realize that you might be falling for your best friend.
the dining hall’s food is barely edible, but it’s paid for by your scholarships. who has money for groceries, especially while they’re a student?
you grabbed a few slices of pizza for lunch. the cheese isn’t fully melted, and the crust is so hard it takes five minutes to chew. all the money people pay to go to the academy, and apparently none of it goes to food. it’s edible, at the very least. some kind of sustenance to get you through the day.
you’re mindlessly scrolling on your instagram feed as you eat, headphones in to drown out the hustle and bustle of students around you. college isn’t like high school. cliques aren’t as prevalent, and nobody looks at you oddly if you’re sitting by yourself. you have a lot more freedom to truly do what you want.
out of the corner of your eye, though, you see a familiar bag being set down and you take out one of your headphones. powder.
coming to terms with your feelings was.. difficult. the last time you recall having a crush was in your first year of high school, yearning for a girl in your english class whose laugh lit up your world. your hopes were crushed when you saw her kiss one of the school’s athletes on the cheek and walk away with her, arms looped, disgustingly in love.
you don’t remember feeling this way about powder before, and you can’t figure out what it is about her that makes you look at her this way now. but every time she reaches for your hand while walking to class, your heart jumps. every praise she gives you after you get a practice problem right makes you beam.
you revel in her warmth. while you initially dreaded the thought of the class, now it’s your favorite part of the day. everything else seems to pale in comparison.
she sets down a plate with a slice of pizza, the same as yours, some fruit, and varied bags of chips.
“they think this stuff is actual food?” she huffs.
you huff, giving a small smile to the girl as you shove your phone into your pocket. her hair is done in a high messy bun with pink and blue clips holding back the choppy face-framing layers she’s recently touched up, with a deep purple tank over a black mesh top. she’s hastily swiped silver glitter over both of her eyes and is wearing pink lip gloss. jean shorts over ripped tights and combat boots. she looks stunning.
put together and messy all the same, that balance that powder strikes so perfectly.
“according to the health board,” you remark. “you’d think that a prestigious school up topside would have something better.”
“you could tell me this was stillwater slop, and i wouldn’t think twice.”
that makes you giggle. regardless, powder bites into the fruit that’s still sort of fresh. she’s sitting so close to you it makes your breath catch in your throat. her thighs brush against yours, and you don’t dare move.
the feelings within you are so close to bubbling over. like they’ve taken full control of you, and the words are building up in your throat. you don’t want to say how much you adore her. at the same time, you want to scream it from the rooftops.
but she turns to you with that same smile, looking at you with such warmth in her blue eyes, droning on about piltover’s pretentiousness despite their actual conditions, and the words vanish. maybe you’ll remember them later.
you just nod along with her rambling, offering little ‘uh-huh’s and ‘yeah?’s. no actual opinions. nothing of substance. just you, watching her glossed lips move and her hands wildly gesture.
“i mean, they swear they’re so much better than us. but they’re serving fucking slop at the academy! ironic, huh?”
“yeah. ironic.”
“all i’m gonna say is don’t be surprised if i don’t show up to class one day cause i got food poisoning.”
“don’t get food poisoning, please,” you sigh.
“i’ll try,” powder playfully elbows you, smile stretching across her lips.
you’re fucked.
powder was supposed to leave two hours ago, but you got too caught up in studying. with midterms long gone, finals are approaching quicker than either of you would like. you decided to make a study session out of it, as you always do. notebooks on the floor, dried-out pens and crumpled papers overflowing from the trash, the glow of powder’s laptop being the only source of light in your dorm.
the harsh pitter-patter of rain against your windowpane drew a groan from powder. you aren’t gonna let her go out in this mess and potentially get sick, so you offered her your guest bed, and the girl hastily accepted.
powder’s absentmindedly chewing on the end of her pen as her dark brows furrow. this is a rarity. a concept actually stumping her.
“doing okay?”
“yeah, yeah,” powder mutters. “i’ll figure it out.”
“i’d help if i could.”
“i know you would.”
you’ve printed the same formulas, definitions, and figures down into your notebook more times than you can count. trying to imprint them on your brain, so that the final exam becomes effortless. something that you could do with your eyes closed. you’ve never been one to rely on others for academic help, but if powder isn’t understanding it? you might be doomed.
with a yawn, the girl across from you drops her notebook on the floor and stretches her legs out in front of her. “i need a break.”
“that makes two of us,” you say.
you climb into your bed, fighting the urge to lay down even though your eyelids feel heavy and your body’s grown weary. to your surprise, though, powder follows you instead of going to the opposite side of the room. she climbs the ladder, then plops herself down right next to you.
“we’ll figure it out,” she murmurs, exhaustion creeping into her voice. “just maybe not tonight. but you’ll see.”
“i guess so.”
powder’s hand rests over yours. warm, calloused from all of her tinkering yet still achingly soft somehow. the girl’s always been good at holding two truths at once. your eyes meet, tension thickening in the air between the two of you. your eyes flicker to her lips, then back to her eyes.
“you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for,” she murmurs. “just cause you struggle with this doesn’t mean you’re helpless.”
“yeah, i know,” you sigh. you wish that you could just brush it off, yet you can’t bring yourself to dismiss anything that your friend- is she a friend at this point?- says, no matter how untrue you may think it is. “it’s just really hard. i don’t know how you do it.”
“i was teaching myself this stuff when i was twelve,” she shrugs, and you scoff in amusement, because of course she was. you were there to witness all of it.
your fingers intertwine with hers, and powder gives a soft squeeze. your heart is beating like a wardrum, you can practically hear your pulse surging. janna above, how does she have this effect on you? does she even know what she does to you?
“i mean it. you gotta stop being so hard on yourself.”
“i’ll try.”
“i’m not convinced,” she squeezes your hand once again, and her face inches closer to yours. blue eyes boring into yours like she’s trying to persuade you with looks alone. you can see every line and crackle of her lips, the flyaways from her bangs getting in her eyes. so close that the two of you are sharing breath.
“i mean it.”
“i’m sure you do,” she chuckles, and that does you in.
without thinking, you lean forward, closing the mere centimeters of distance between you two. soft, is your first thought. she tastes like her cotton candy flavored chapstick, she smells perfect as she always does.
and to your surprise, she melts into your touch. her lips move against yours in a slow and steady rhythm, her hand finding the back of your head and fingers threading through your hair. you sigh against her.
you swear you can hear fireworks go off. your body feels like it’s floating, powder’s chest pressing against yours as your hands nervously find her waist. she licks into your mouth, slow and sweet, and you ever so slightly part your lips for her. then she smiles against you, and you can’t help letting out a breathy chuckle.
“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” you whisper, and powder huffs.
“why haven’t you?”
“i- i didn’t think you felt the same.”
she presses another kiss to your lips. tender and slow as the last, dissolving all of your previous doubts away. “i do, for the record.”
you give a soft laugh, and powder smiles, looking at you like you’ve hung all the stars in the sky. she yawns, and looking out the window to see rain still pouring down, you whisper, “do you wanna just call it quits for the night?”
she nods slowly, the late hour clearly catching up to her. she slumps against you as you finally lay down, and sleep takes both of you before you can murmur ‘i love you.’
I'm curious how tall my moots are cause I'm average size (height wise lol) probably
And idk like your worst turn off cause why not
lowkey thought i stopped growing for ages but GUESS WHAT i’m not 5’3 i’m practically 5’5 🗣️🔥⁉️🔥⁉️
also noooo idea what my worst turn off would be,,, ummmmm idk lowk i’d say my type is whoever can out-woke me, so my worst turn off is prolly a ‘i’m not a political person’ broke hoe
0: Height
1: Virgin?
2: Shoe size
3: Do you smoke?
4: Do you drink?
5: Do you take drugs?
6: Age you get mistaken for
7: Have tattoos?
8: Want any tattoos?
9: Got any piercings?
10: Want any piercings?
11: Best friend?
12: Relationship status
13: Biggest turn ons
14: Biggest turn offs
15: Favorite movie
16: I’ll love you if
17: Someone you miss
18: Most traumatic experience
19: A fact about your personality
20: What I hate most about myself
21: What I love most about myself
22: What I want to be when I get older
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
25: My idea of a perfect date
26: My biggest pet peeves
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school
31: What your last text message says
32: What words upset me the most
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
34: What I find attractive in women
35: What I find attractive in men
36: Where I would like to live
37: One of my insecurities
38: My childhood career choice
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
40: Who wish I could be
41: Where I want to be right now
42: The last thing I ate
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
44: A random fact about anything
Synopsis: After being left behind in Jackson, you grieve the budding friendship you’d built with Ellie but also slowly begin to spiral while coming to the conclusion that the feelings you had for her were simply one sided.
wc: 6k
Warnings: MDNI, Angst, Just angst, vomiting (like once), one sided love, reader is def overworking herself, no use of Y/N, afab!reader, not proof read.
(I made this months ago and JUST dug it back up, so I finished it, enjoy as I try to work on something else!)
You were there when she’d first arrived at Jackson in its earlier stages, watching her from afar, too scared to approach her. She picked up patrolling while you worked in the barns, tending to the animals including her horse who she’d named ‘Shimmer’.
You’d see her with Jesse and his girlfriend Dina, they’d be together at the town's Hoedowns, drinking and laughing together. You on the other hand hung around Rebecca, a friend you’d made in the barn while trying to give one of the horses a wash and getting knocked over in the process.
You would check up on her often, as she was taking care of her mother who was sick and getting worse as the days went on, that didn’t stop you from visiting her at her house to help her out and comfort her. You felt guilty, you weren’t always around to help her and she just seemed so sad all the time, but that wasn’t your fault right?
That’s why she liked for both of you to attend the town parties, just to leave the gloomy house and have a little fun for a couple of hours. It was fun for the most part, you’d both dance in the crowd, have a drink or two and laugh when you’d step on each other's toes. It was always fun, until of course, it wasn’t.
There she was with Jesse and Dina of course, but there was someone else with them, on her arm. She was shorter than her with short black hair and bangs, you felt butterflies in your stomach but the feeling wasn’t bubbly and lighthearted. This feeling was jealousy and disgust, you felt sick, the room was now spinning and you were sweating profusely. The music was too loud and your knees felt like caving in, these weren’t butterflies, no, these were moths.
“Hey? You ok?” Rebecca put a hand on your shoulder, you slowly turned to her with a burning feeling crawling up your throat. You quickly made your way out of the building, finding a small alley and regurgitating everything you’d eaten that day. You stood up straight, looking down at what you’d eaten earlier today, feeling like complete shit.
“Hey, you kinda took off on me there-” Rebecca stopped looking at your sickly state, she probably assumed it was the alcohol that caused your little freak out and in all honesty, you let her think that if that was the case. You didn’t want to worry her anymore than she already was.
“Oh my god. let’s- let’s get you home yea?” She spoke, her voice cracking a bit. You let her lead you back to your home and get you ready for bed. While lying down, she got ready to leave. You watched her heading to the door, you stopped her as she put her hand on the handle.
“I’m sorry Bec.” You muttered just loud enough for her to hear, she sighed quietly before looking back to you, forcing a sympathetic smile. “It’s ok just get some rest ok.” She left, shutting the door quickly behind her.
You felt a slight relief to know you didn’t have to worry her anymore, but now the tears you initially fought off earlier returned and this time you put up no fight against them. You spent that night crying, tossing and turning, but sadly that night would turn into a recurring event for you.
Watching Ellie and the girl whose name you’d learn to be Cat grow closer with each passing day, one day when picking up Shimmer, you caught a glimpse of one of Ellies forearms that was decorated with an outline of a moth and fern. Cat was giving her a tattoo.
“Yeah, I heard she was really good at them, seems like she's finally putting her work out there.” Rebecca explained, grooming one of the horses as you stood at the entrance of the stable watching her work. “I mean, it looked good.” You admitted sadly, you knew that would be another reason for you to break down later but that’d be for later of course.
You spent the rest of the day waiting for her to return, in the stable constantly refilling water troughs even if they were barely half empty. “You’re not tired?” Rebecca asked, she’d just gotten back from her break, you smiled at her as you placed another bucket down in front of the water pump getting ready to fill it once more.
“Nope.” You lied, your arms were on fire, carrying such a heavy bucket and working the pump had been a lot but you wouldn’t be mad at the possible results from the small workout. “Ok, well I was thinking, maybe I should switch to patrolling, you know?” You stopped, looking at your friend in disbelief. Out of all people, why would she want to start patrolling, you were both fine in the barn working with the animals, you were safe here.
“Why?” You asked, brows knitted together trying to comprehend the thought of her going out into that dangerous environment. To you, there was no reason for her to be out there, of course she’d want to get her mind off of things at home, but patrolling?
“Dunno, would be nice to have a change in environment for a bit.” She shrugged, walking away from the perfectly groomed horse and standing a few feet in front of you. “So you’d rather risk your life to be outside the walls for a few hours?” You argued, visibly getting more irritated. She picked up the bucket of brushes, combs and clippers before pushing a loose strand behind her ear. “If it helps me for a bit then yea, yes I would.”
You were taken back, when you both first started this job you both agreed that patrolling was just not for you both. “So you’re serious about it then?” Rebecca had enough, brushing past you and walking towards the entrance of the barn, clearly frustrated.
“You know what, I am and you can like it or not but I’m going to do this.”
“Right, and when you get bit I’ll be at your grave to tell you I told you so.” She froze, you didn’t mean what you said but you were angry, angry that she considered leaving you behind. Angry that she had more balls than you did to go out there, angry because that potentially meant she’d be patrolling with her.
She spun around on her heel, trudging right up to “Fuck you.” She spat before leaving completely. You stood in the barn by yourself and the few horses who saw your little argument. You turned to Japan who was staring at you quietly from her stable.
“Whatever Japan.” You mumbled while going back to filling the empty bucket you were focused on before. That was until the barn doors from the opposite side started to open, the sunlight brightening up the place; and there she was.
Walking in with Jesse, chatting probably about something that happened out on their patrol. You decided to make your way over to the both of them, abandoning the bucket once more. The two of them didn’t seem to notice you until you spoke up, catching their attention.
“Hey, I can take them for you if you guys would like me too?” You offered, stuffing your hands in the back pockets of your jeans. They looked between each, Jesse stuck his hand that held the reins of his horse out to you. “That’d be great!” His accent heavy in his voice, you took the reins he gave the horse one last pat on the side before leading the horse back to one of the stables next to Japan.
“There you go!” You said quietly, giving the horse a quick scratch before shutting the gate.
“Did you maybe try talking to her, that could probably solve a lot of your problems.” Ellie said with sarcasm lacing her tone, Jesse placed his hands on his hips pretending to ponder. “Maybe you’re right, Williams, as if I haven’t tried that a hundred times before!” He joked.
Ellie turned to you, handing you her reins as well, her forearm on display again. It gave you an opportunity, the opportunity to actually fucking say something. So you did.
“Hey, I like your tattoo by the way!” You cut into their small banter, she looked down to her forearm giving you a small smile. Yourheart felt like it’d beat out your chest, but you did your best to control your emotions. “Thanks, it’s not done yet but it’s coming along.” She crossed her arms over her chest, you gave her a quick smile in return before turning around to walk Shimmer to an empty stable.
You bit the inside of your cheek, feeling giddy like a child after finding out their parents would be giving them treats later in the day. Jesse and Ellie left the stables after both their horses were taken care of, you on the other hand finished up the rest of your tasks while smiling to yourself. It wasn’t a major interaction but hell, it’s the most you’ve said to her in the past two years.
Sooner or later, it was just you in the stables, of course there were other hands around but Rebecca had officially left the barn life behind. It didn’t bother you that much anymore, you and Ellie had started exchanging more words over time, friendly conversation, nothing out of the ordinary.
Of course you guys never really hung out but when the town would host parties she’d stand by you and you’d talk, crack jokes and more. Jesse and Dina also started taking you into consideration, waving at you whenever they’d walk past you in town. You didn’t disregard the fact that Cat would also be around too, wherever Ellie was Cat followed, you didn’t talk to her as much but what were you going to say to her?
“Hey I might have a crush on your girlfriend, don’t worry though I’m too pussy to do anything about it!”
Yeah, definitely not ideal. So you just decided it was best to just stay friends, one night they invited you to a more private get together. It was held at someone's house, you couldn’t remember their name but what did it matter? The night went well, you spoke to Dina a lot that night, she was very giggly but she did have a few drinks so you couldn’t be mad at her for it.
Ellie and Cat were cuddled up on the couch for basically the entire night, you tried to ignore it but your heart wouldn’t let you. You’d occasionally glance over at the two throughout the night hoping they wouldn’t catch you, which they didn’t, but what hurt the most was when you looked over to their spot at some point in the night to see that they’d left together.
“Oh shoot!” Dina walked over to you, holding a small watch. “Ellie dropped this on the couch. Shit.” This gave you an idea, Ellie lived two houses down from you so it only made sense you’d do her the favour right?
“I can drop it off, she doesn’t live that far from me.” You explained, Dina smiled while handing you the watch; thanking you for the good deed.
So there you were, walking down to Ellie’s to return the watch that she could’ve picked up tomorrow but you didn’t care.
The small garage home came into view as you walked past Joel’s home, your heart was pounding once again but as always you ignored it to the best of your abilities.
Stepping up to her front door you raised your balled fist to knock as you looked down at the watch, that’s when you heard it; heard her.
The sound of pleasured moans coming from inside, you slowly lowered your hand to your side as your eyes widened. You felt like your heart had shattered into more than a million pieces, the burn of hot tears filling your eyes caused you to shut your eyes tight and take a step back from the door.
You decided against knocking, quickly rushing up to Joel’s front door instead. You stood on his porch, trying to control your breathing not wanting to worry him when he’d answer the door.
You knocked softly, your hands were shaking, not to a point where it was noticeable but just enough for you to feel it running through your bones. Joel opened the door, a bit confused but still giving you a soft smile nonetheless.
“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but Ellie left this at Dina's. I thought I’d return it.” You handed him the watch and he ran his thumb over the glass.
“She’s not in the back?” He asked, his voice held a similar accent to Jesse’s but way heavier. “I knocked, no answer. I didn’t want to disturb if she was there.” It was a half truth, she was back there but you definitely didn’t want to disturb.
“Well thank you, I’ll bring it to her in the morning.” You nodded as he shut the front door, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.
It felt like a walk of shame while walking back to your home, tears streaming down your face as you did. It was late thankfully so there was no one around to see your small meltdown, but you did move as quickly as you could to get home before completely breaking down.
You still spoke to Ellie after that night, but it was a bit awkward on your end. You’d remember the sounds in the middle of your conversations and you’d do the best to ignore them but they were burned into your brain like a burn scar on skin.
You and Rebecca didn’t even say hi to each other anymore, just walking past each other in public settings. It hurt, but if she wanted to live that life then she could do it without you in it.
You’d spend your time trying to distract yourself from the constant loneliness you felt everyday, waiting for when Ellie would come through the stable to pick up or drop off Shimmer.
Time went on, you watched Ellie’s tattoo slowly be completed, as well as you also watched Dina and Jesse go through multiple break ups in the span of a year.
For you on the other hand, you didn’t change much. Maybe grow an inch or two, but other than that you were still the same old lonely you. You sat on your couch curled up with a good book, it was your day off so you intended to spend it comfortably.
That was before you heard a knock at your front door, a hurried knock at that. You huffed before tossing the book aside, not before making a bunny ear on the page; your book marker was currently missing.
A few steps from the door, the person knocked again, a bit more aggressive this time. “I’m coming!” You yelled, slightly annoyed at being disturbed by whomever felt the need to see you.
You swung the door back, ready to tell Jesse that he can’t keep bombarding you with questions on how to solve an argument; but that wasn’t who was banging down your door. “Ellie.” She seemed gloomy, in her regular skinny jeans and dark colored hoodie. That was all normal, but was unusual was her hood actually being up.
“Can I come in?” You moved aside letting the girl in. You shut the door and quickly led her to where you were seated originally, she looked over the place taking in how little decorations you had.
“Come, sit!” You ushered, taking a seat on the couch. She joined you, putting a decent space between the two of you but still close enough for you to be able to grab her hand; which you didn’t do! Not yet atleast.
You could see tear lines staining her freckled face, eyes puffy from crying and her nose a bit red from either wiping or blowing it. This made your heart pound with empathy, you remembered all the time you were in her spot.
Crying your eyes out and looking to someone for comfort, that someone at the time was of course Rebecca. You leaned in a bit closer, hoping she could maybe feel your concern in a way. You didn’t want to force her to say anything she didn’t want too, but she did come to you for whatever reason?
“Cat and I broke up.” Your heart did a mini backflip, you felt bad about being happy in that moment but how couldn’t you? The girl you had a crush on for around four years now was finally within reach again!
“I’m- I’m so sorry.” You whispered, you held a straight face but in reality you wanted to scream into the decorative pillow behind you.
“I’m sorry to bother you but, you’ve been a very good friend to me and you listen. I just need someone to talk to.” She admitted, looking down at her hands which you could tell she was probably punching holes into something because of how bruised her knuckles were.
“I’m always here.” You comforted her, reaching your own hand over to hers, giving it a light squeeze in reassurance.
She spent that night at yours that evening, in an attempt to comfort her you turned on a movie. The only sound was the noise from the TV and her small giggles at the comical parts of the film. You sat back quietly watching her smile and laugh, your heart panged like it always did when you were around her, but it was painful and you couldn’t quite figure out why.
Maybe you were just in way too deep.
You both fell asleep on the couch but you woke up alone the next morning, your heart sank. You didn’t bother to go looking for her, nor hunt her down to talk about it; in the end you were just a friend comforting a friend.
Everything was good, life went on and you were still pretty lonely. The parties and drinks could only do so much for you. You stood at the bar waiting to be served the shot of whiskey you’d ordered, you hated whiskey but it drowned out your feelings the best. “Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?” You turned around to face none other than Jesse, he held a glass of brown liquor. He joined you, leaning his elbows against the bar ledge.
“Aren’t we all?” You retorted, the waitress passing you your glass to which you thanked her before joining Jesse in resting your elbows against the polished wood yourself. “No actually, just you. All you do is work, we don’t see you at get togethers anymore. Why is that?” He pried.
You looked over to him then down into your cup, you gripped the glass as you took a breath. Of course you could never tell Jesse the reason but you knew exactly why you stopped joining them for game nights and social events. It was clear enough for anyone to see it but you didn’t want to see it so you stayed away. Your heart hurt just thinking about it, you knew it shouldn’t bother you that much but it did, and you refused to ruin anyone's night over it.
Ellie liked Dina.
“Just tired.” You took a sip of the bitter drink before making a face at the flavour and burning from the alcohol. “Tired? Since when do you ever get tired?” He joked, giving you a light shove with his elbow, you chuckled. “Jesse, how did you know you were in love with Dina?” You asked, he seemed a bit taken back by the question. Feeling a bit nosey you immediately went in to apologize.
“It’s fine, you know I never really thought about that.” He went on about his feelings for Dina and what they were like in the beginning of their relationship but you lost track of his rant when you saw Ellie walking towards the bar. “Hey guys.” She smiled, both you and Jesse discarded your previous conversation.
You guys chatted, or more so Jesse and Ellie chatted. You chimed in every now and then. “I give you guys two weeks before you’re back together.” Jesse scoffed slightly. “Not gonna happen.” You drowned yourself in your cup as they spoke, going as far as asking for a second glass; it was going to be a long fucking night.
Sonn, Dina walked over to join the three of you, grabbing the glass that was in Ellie’s hand and finishing what was left of it. There was that burn in the back of your throat again, but you fought it doing your best to keep your composure. Dina said her ‘Hellos’ before dragging Ellie out to the dance floor with her.
“What were we talking about again?” Jesse asked, finishing his glass. “Don’t remember.” You did but your mood was way too ruined to keep that conversation going. “Really? Oh well, maybe we'll remember it later.” He gave you a slightly harsh pat on the back, excusing it for either the alcohol or his lack of understanding of just how strong he really was.
“Anyways, I gotta get up early in the morning champ, I’ll see you in the barn.” You gave him a quick smile as he left, which brought your attention to the scene on the dance floor. Ellie and Dina slow dancing together, closer than how friends would dance together. You gripped the half empty glass, any harder and you could’ve shattered the cup with your bare hand it seemed.
“Please.” You whispered to yourself, hoping they’d just take a step back from each other and return to the bar side. Unfortunately for you, they’d only get closer leaning into each other. You turned back to the bar, placing your glass down as your breath quickened.
It didn’t take long for you to decide to take off, just as you reached outside you bumped shoulders with none other than Rebecca. She stared at you, she was with a couple people but you took no time to find out who they were. “Hey, are you-”
“I’m-, I’m sorry.” You continued your way out into the dimly lit roads of Jackson. You could’ve sworn you heard her calling after you but you chose to ignore her, you crossed your arms over your chest as you slowly made your way back home. Breaking down into tears, you questioned everything that led you up to moments like these?
Maybe it was your lack of confidence in being straight up with the girl, or the fear of rejection and being shunned by your new found friends and her of course. Tears streamed down your face, burning your skin from the chill that still lingered in the air. The tips of your fingers began to feel numb and you couldn't feel your toes; you didn't realize how slow you were really walking but it made you feel something other than those god forsaken butterflies.
You didn’t show up to the barn the next morning, you laid under your covers, staring out the window next to your bedside table. It was a gloomy day, you had no interest in leaving your house under any circumstance. That was until you heard banging on your front door at some point later in the day.
You crept out of your room, doing your best to avoid being heard from inside. “It’s Jesse!” You heard him yell from the otherside of the door. “Look, now’s not the time for this bullshit alright?” You reached for the front door handle, about to turn it to open the door. “Joel’s dead.” He confessed.
You let go of the handle, taking a step back from the door, listening to him explain what had happened while they were out on patrol. You turned away from the door, raising a hand to your mouth, biting the skin around your nails feeling guilty for some odd reason. Joel’s death had nothing to do with you, so why did you feel as if it were your fault for his death?
Maybe if you were at the stables this morning you could’ve stopped them? Maybe if you stayed back last night you could’ve approached him? There were just way too many possibilities, yet this was the one you ended up with. “They're going to host a funeral for him, not sure when, but they will.”
“You can come find me, if you need me. I’ll talk to you later.” You heard his footsteps get further and further away from your house before no longer being able to hear them at all. You felt uneasy, making your way back to your room, you laid on top of the covers staring up at the ceiling; How the fuck did this all go so wrong?
The funeral for Joel was large, he was a kind, helping man, most of the town came out to pay their respects, even you. You kept your distance, watching everything from afar. You didn't bother to mingle, you headed straight home.
You spent days tossing and turning in your bed, constantly thinking about the first and last conversation you had with Joel. Of course, you never knew him personally but to try and comprehend that someone you saw yesterday wouldn't be here tomorrow was baffling to say the least.
Jesse would swing by and give you updates through the door, talking about patrol and the horses. It took you some time before you were able to actually return to the Barn, you finally felt somewhat relieved so you took the opportunity to get your life back on track.
You worked away, brushing out horse maines, filling troughs with hay and water and cleaning up after the stallions. Wasn’t easy at first but you knew you’d get back into the routine. Jesse would return from patrol with a person or two or by himself but never with her anymore. You were curious as to why but you thought it was because she was still in mourning so you didn't pry.
Though what you did notice was a missing horse, the stable next to Japan was empty and had been for almost two weeks. Shimmer had been gone a while, yet Japan hadn’t gone out at all? You hadn’t seen Dina or Ellie since the funeral, but there was no point in you going out of your way too.
One morning you decided to get to the stables early, just to see if Ellie would leave with Shimmer early and explain to you that she’d just begun doing longer routes which would explain her absence. Quietly entering the barn, you looked over to the still empty stable, but also caught a glimpse of Jesse saddling his horse up.
“Jesse?” He swung around quickly to you, like a deer in headlights he froze. “What’re you doing?” He continued to check his saddle, making sure it was secure for his ride. “I think you’ve noticed by now, but our friends, Dina and Ellie have set off on a bit of a quest after Tommy.” He began as he checked his bag's supplies.
“What?” You hadn’t heard anything about the two leaving, nor anything about them leaving together at that. “Look, as my friend, I’m entrusting you with this information alright?” He stepped in front of you, placing a heavy hand on your shoulder.
“I’m going to follow them, I want to make sure they're safe and get them back to Jackson in one piece. You can’t tell anyone, so if Maria comes looking for me, you haven’t seen me, got it.” You hesitated before giving him a short head nod, he mounted his horse and you helped him leave through the gates. You watched him ride off into the distance, a bad feeling had risen in your stomach which you tried to ignore.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, at some point you gave up on the idea of the four of them returning at all. You sat on the edge of your bed, you were alone again, that dreadful feeling you tried to fight off had consumed you; all your friends were gone.
Jesse had left looking for his ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend, The girl you were crushing on took off to god knows where with her new love and Rebecca, well Rebecca had turned her entire life around living it to the fullest. She was out patrolling, she’d made new friends and had completely left you in the dust. You didn’t blame them, it was your fault for not putting yourself out there, you were weak. Without the confined walls of Jackson, you’d probably be fucking dead already.
Your mind was filled with doubt, but that doubt had somehow turned into some sort of determination. Maybe if you proved yourself to be strong somehow it’d change everything. So there you were, stood in front of the North gates that weren’t so guarded due to their lack of use. “You can do this.” You took a deep breath, thankfully for you it wasn’t hard to get through the gates but now it was about figuring out how to execute this plan of yours.
Your idea was to find an animal, kill it and bring it back to town, not that hard. Maybe Maria would be more thankful than angry if you found a large enough prey; but that was all up to what you could find. The sun would be rising soon and you wanted to make this quick, heading through the forest, it was quiet, too quiet for your liking.
The further you walked,the more everything started to look the same. You couldn’t see Jackson from where you stood anymore which wasn’t good, but you know you had to do this. You kept searching, hoping to come across maybe a deer or a fox, or something relatively easy to kill.
Eventually, you found what you were looking for. A small deer minding its business, scavenging for something to eat. “Fuck yea!” You whispered to yourself. Now you had to think of a way to catch it, you didn’t have experience with a bow and arrow so you didn’t grab one when leaving the stables; that was your mistake.
You opted for a stealth method, trying to creep up on the animal in hopes of catching it off guard. That of course wasn’t the case, the deer had heard you making your way over to it and took off. You wouldn’t let the opportunity slip past your fingers so you ran after it, trying to catch up but it was just way too fast.
Maybe it was the burn in your lungs that brought you to reality, or the horrifying sound of nearby infection. You looked around, trying to figure out which direction it came from but to no luck you couldn’t spot it. You made your way into the nearby gas station, hoping to be out of sight from the monsters.
“Holy shit.” You breathed as you looked around the empty station, you stepped over broken glass and garbage that was sprawled across the floor. You made it to the ‘employees only’ door, maybe there'd be something useful in the room plus it had been really quiet since you walked in so that was of course a good sign!
You pushed on the door, to no luck it didn’t budge. You pressed your shoulder against the cold metal and used your whole body weight to push against it, slowly moving whatever was blocking the door. Finally squeezing through, you entered an office with a large safe in the corner which probably had something you could bring back.
Though before you could take any steps towards it, you were rushed and pushed straight to the ground. You fought the infected, trying to keep it away from you as you reached for the knife that you had dropped.
It was a struggle but you finally had the blade in your hands, you stabbed it, over and over and over again. At some point it wasn’t even to make sure that the thing was dead, you were just scared and angry.
You dropped your knife, sitting on the floor away from the corpse you tried to catch your breath. Putting a hand to your chest to help calm yourself, but that’s when you felt an uncomfortable sensation from a spot on your chest.
You moved your shirt, you hoped it was just a bruise or a cut; that wasn’t the case. It was a large bleeding bite mark that slowly changed color as seconds passed you by, your eyes filled with tears as you began to panic.
There was nothing else you could’ve done, if your life wasn’t over before it was officially over now. You curled into yourself, squeezing your eyes shut as you let all your memories pass you by while letting the little bit of life you had left in you slip away.
-
“We’re not too far from Jackson.” Ellie, Dina and Tommy had managed to get back to Wyoming. In one piece but terribly injured, sadly they had to bury Jesse back in Washington as they didn’t have the supplies to get him back home.
“Can we make a quick stop, I need to take a piss.” The three came to a stop, Ellie jumping off the horse first to help Dina down. After watching Dina walk away, she turned to Tommy who had been quiet most of the trip.
“You ok?” She asked, his bandaged leg and eye said otherwise. They did their best to patch him up before they left but it wasn’t easy when they were all injured in one way or another.
“I’m holding up.” He croaked, she gave him a weak smile to which she returned. “Ellie!” Startled, she took off in the direction of Dina’s voice, worried about the danger she could be in.
“Dina?” She said walking up to the girl, she pointed ahead of them spotting an infected walking through some cars. “It’s just infected?” She whispered, Dina shook her head “Ellie, look.” Taking a few steps forward, she could recognize your familiar face.
Her face dropped, you were limping around clearly in agonizing pain, but that wasn’t you anymore. “What do you think happened?” Dina asked, standing next to her.
“I don't know.” You came to a stop and stood there, convulsing she couldn’t stand to see you like that.
“I have to help her.” She pulled her switchblade from its holster, Dina grabbed her arm trying to stop her. “What if there’s more around?” She asked quietly, Ellie shrugged “You know I can handle them.”
She approached you, her steps getting slower each time. She listened to you crying for a moment “I’m- I’m- s-sorry.” You uttered, curled in on yourself. Ellie’s heart panted in her chest, she didn’t know you that well, though she’d wished she had known you better or spoke to you more; regardless it still hurt to see someone she once knew succumb to the infection.
“I’m sorry too.” She whispered.
“What took you ladies so long?” Tommy asked as he watched the two girls walk back to their horse, Ellie thought about what to say. Should she tell the truth, explain what they’d encountered or leave it? She opened her mouth to speak but before she could explain.
“Just some infected, nothing serious.” Dina shrugged, Tommy looked at Ellie, his eye bandaged. “You ok, kiddo?” Tommy asked, holding the reins to his horse tight.
“I’m great.” She answered quietly, pushing the image of your pained character into the back of her mind hoping to do nothing more than disregard you as a whole. She felt guilty about it, but she’d already lost too much to add more to her grieving list.
pos bsf Ellie who is sparing you even though she has feelings for you but she knows she horrible, yes , no? 🥹 or idk with vibes of Les by childish Gambino
OHMYGODOHMYGOD I WROTE A ONESHOT WITH THIS EXACT PLOT LIKE 2 YEARS AGO LMFAOOO. its called dollface but im sure its fucking shite😭😭
but yeah she would be awful. she read ur diary and she knowwsss ur down bad .. so she hooks up with you because thats what convenient for her!! she’ll keep hooking up with you because she unfortunately never cared. shes extra sweet to you, since youre still her bestfriend! but you fall harder n harder 🙁
ome day u ask a mutual friend about her feelings towards you (probably jesse or dina) and theyre like ?? oh sweet baby ellie fucks whoever :(
