idontwannabeyouanymore

[fmdchanmi]

fmdyuanjun‌:

setting: bc entertainment practice rooms, mid may 2020 with: @fmdchanmi​

there were very few things that went on between the walls of bc entertainment that went over yuanjun’s head, his headstrong personality and undying need to always know everything about everyone proving to be a particularly annoying combination. he caught wind of the first rumors of chanmi’s comeback somewhere in the hallways, whispers that he should not have heard to begin with. but, as usual, he had, which meant yuanjun had made it his own personal mission to find out the fine details.

and who better to ask than the very person the rumors pertained? 

which was exactly how yuanjun had ended up barging into the practice room chanmi was currently occupying. “hi noona!” he beamed, all but skipping into the room and tossing his sports back into a corner like he was invited in and to stay while truly, neither were true. “so i heard you’re having a summer comeback huh?” he inquired, not bothering to go anymore in depth as to how and why he knew that. “teach me your new choreo maybe?” not that it was much of a question. “c’mon it will be fun! pleaseeeee noona.”

even though she had just had a comeback in january, bc was already gearing her up for her second comeback and third music release since she had debuted the previous year. that wasn’t too bad in her eyes. she had only been actively promoting for not even a full entire year yet and she had already had a comeback and was planning on releasing another in not too long. she just hoped that bc kept her on that kind of track. she didn’t want to start off strong and end up falling off as her career went on. that’d be almost as disheartening as not having any success at all. 

she breathed out deeply, letting her head hang down as she tried to calm her nerves and heart rate from all of the dancing she had just done previously. she already had the choreography memorized, it was just time for her to perfect it and add her own flair to it, just to make it stand out and look more true to herself. the sound of the practice room door opening and closing made her pick her head up, looking over to see who had just walked in. “hey, jun. what’s up?” she was a little confused to see him there. not that she didn’t like his company, but it was unexpected. “i am, you heard correctly.” chanmi nodded her head, crossing her arms over her chest as she approached him. “now you and i both know we could get in trouble if i did that.” bc was pretty serious when it came to the whole confidentiality thing, especially when it came to unreleased music. 

[fmdchanmi]

fmddojun·:

“where did you hear that i went for a date–”when in trouble, always play dumb . that was dojun’s aesthetic forever and always when it came to handling women, especially someone like chanmi, whom he always saw as a little sibling. “when can you not nose into my business–”he whines like a spoiled brat that he his, ears tinged red half from embarrassment and cheeks heated with colour. “she’s fantastic, but i’m not going to tell you who she is. she doesn’t like being known.” he hesitates slightly at the last sentence that he drops, a faint sigh upon his lips as he recalls a little broodingly about chaeyeon when it came to her discomfort with popularity. “but it went well. we had a great time. i dressed up, and she laughed because apparently i overdid it.” he blabbed like a fool, stars in his eyes and excitement endorsing the corners of his lips as they curved up into a small but cute smile. “she’s the greatest person ever, and that’s saying something because i don’t give compliments to other women, not even you.” he flicks her nose almost playfully, happier than most days that most had usually seen him in. 

chanmi rolled her eyes at dojun’s efforts at trying to play as if he had no idea what she was talking about or who she was referring to. “you know, it’s crazy how stupid you think i am, oppa.” she placed her hand on her hip, giving him a pointed look. “not nose into your business? you know that you couldn’t possibly ask that of me. who else would nose into your business and make sure you’re not making an ass of yourself if i won’t?” she asked innocently, pairing her inquiry with a charming smile. “okay, okay,” she held her hands up in defeat. “i won’t pry into who she is, i can respect her privacy. but that doesn’t mean that i’m not going to force you to tell me every other detail.” chanmi poked the older idol in the chest with her pointer finger. a small smile began to spread across her face as he babbled on and on about his significant other, the way that he talked about her warming the soloist’s heart. “i can tell that you really care about her, oppa..” she said sweetly, before scrunching up her nose and swatting his hand away. “hmph, talk about being whipped,” she teased, poking her tongue out at him.

[fmdchanmi]

fmdtaeyong‌:

“no, i like doing this.” this was the calm in the storm. what else would he be doing? shooting a cf? attending a meeting about the next thing bc had thrown on his schedule? this was a better alternative than all of those. he didn’t get much time to sit with a piano anymore. his baby grand had been one of the first items he’d bought for his new house, but he only ever seemed to use it when he had the goal of writing a song, which was still work in a way this wasn’t. if he didn’t want to do this anymore, he could get up and leave without his career falling down around him.

a soft smile rose to his lips as she plunked out twinkle twinkle little star, but he watched her intently, paying more attention to the angle of her arm than the notes she was playing. “okay,” he hummed, his mind clear of everything else in a way he didn’t get to experience much. “the first thing i need to make sure you have down is your posture. not the most fun part, but like dancing, if your posture isn’t right, you can’t expect to give your best performance and you risk hurting yourself.” if he used their shared dancing background, maybe it would help explain his point. “you want to be sitting on the edge of the bench with a straight back.” he demonstrated what he meant with his arms to his sides before raising them to the keyboard again. “don’t hold too much tension in your body, though. your arms need to be relaxed, hands gently curved. you’re pressing the keys with the weight of your arm, not the force of your fingers.” he played a c major chord to demonstrate.

“i can tell you do,” she murmured in acknowledgement, nodding her head as she sent a small smile his way. chanmi was well aware of how popular and sought after knight was, and ash even more so because of his solo music and endeavors. he must have had a lot on his plate to deal with, and she was surprised when he had agreed to helping her learn how to play the piano and how quickly they had set up an agreed time for their first lesson. it took her a moment, but then it quickly set in that maybe it was the simplicity of it all that her friend wanted. doing something as easy as teaching someone to do what he loved. it made her smile widen a bit. 

“right.” she nodded her head at his instructions, eyeing his movements and mirroring them with ease. it seemed as though a background in dancing had given her an advantage when it came to piano playing. her posture was nearly perfect due to years of working at it. “like this?” chanmi asked, wanting a confirmation that she was properly seated like he had demonstrated for her. “that sounds very jedi, ash.” she let out a chuckle. “or should i call you yoda?” she carried on the joke for a little bit longer, letting one of her fingers press against the key that it was resting on. “like this?”

[praksooyoung]

😫😫😫

[fmdchanmi]

fmdjaeyeol·:

unity’s schedules had felt so light as of late. he assumed a lot of it was due to the formation of champion taking place, to give those members time to focus on that briefly. though he knew they would soon be back on tour and then moving out, so some extra time was appreciated. though now the colla3orate project took up part of that space, but go was fun to participate in, he would live.

“but noona,” jaeyeol whined quietly, holding his stomach, “how can i resist all of this delicious food?” it was times like this jaeyeol appreciated the fact that nobody had seemed to expect him to have abs and be as in shape as some of his other members. he was fit, sure, but he could also openly eat beyond a strict healthy diet. jaeyeol’s eyes followed to where chanmi had pointed towards, observing the booth before nodding. “that looks good,” he agreed, letting his feet move in that direction.

“no one’s saying you have to resist all of the delicious food, i’m just saying that you should pace yourself before you try to eat everything in sight. eating food is great, but getting a bellyache afterwards? not so great.” she scrunched up her nose, shaking her head at the thought of suffering from a stomachache. chanmi rested her hand on jaeyeol’s arm, guiding the younger idol towards the booth that she had pointed to just a few seconds before. “how have you been, jaeyeol-ah?” she asked conversationally while they walked. with how busy she had been with her schedules, she didn’t get the chance to really interact with a lot of her friends anymore. at least not in person. “you’ve been taking good care of yourself, haven’t you?” 

[fmdchanmi]

fmdtaeyong‌:

“yeah, no problem.” ash rested his hands gently on the keys in front of him, testing the familiar press of the ivories under his fingers. home was a word that ash struggled to define for himself, but no place felt closer than on the bench of a piano. since his childhood, there’s always been a piano in his life. it was the longest constant he’d ever had and being behind one put him at ease life a life jacket in a vast sea.

“tell me how much you know first.” ash had taken it upon himself to teach a few people a thing or two about playing piano in his time, but his path of teaching had never been the same any two times. everyone was different in their background and their musical worldview and it was a fact he’d learned to appreciate. “about piano and about reading music. we can start from where your knowledge leaves off.”

“of course you would say that.” she rolled her eyes, watching as he placed his own fingers against the keys. “i’m sure you have a thousand other things you could be doing right now, and a hundred other things you’d rather be doing.” chanmi couldn’t help but notice how at ease ash seemed to be sitting at a piano, like he was in his most comfortable element. it was always weird, yet amazing, watching someone do what they loved. was it the same for people watching her dance? she couldn’t help but wonder. 

“um..” she trailed off, thinking about the little bit of information she knew about playing the piano. her younger sibling was a prodigy piano player, but their skills hadn’t rubbed off on her. “oh, i know!” she snapped her fingers, before resting her fingers against the keys lightly. a few seconds later, she started playing the one song she knew on the piano - a messy rendition of twinkle twinkle little star. she missed a few keys and fumbled a bit, but she eventually made it through the song. “and that’s all i know.” she laughed. 

[fmdchanmi]

fmdyunseo‌:

he had been working hard, in peace. often times, his members message, managers message, his mind implores. yunseo’s thoughts rarely quiet entirely, though they are focused whispers he’s capable of ignoring but never does. it had been a lonely night for him before her. isn’t it always? he paused in the act of cleaning his kitchen counters (already clean but he was fidgeting as he worked through the details of a to-be-written track in his head), busying himself, when she popped in. the door always open to her, after these years, it was more familiar with her than most, in truth. he gave her a startled look that turned into a mellow, pleased smile. throwing down his cleaning supplies, watching her stroll across the room with items that he no doubt wouldn’t think of getting himself. she looks out for him that way. perhaps that’s why he feels protective of her, welcoming, open arms to her when normally he holds an opposite stance. he leans his hips against the counter, crosses his arms as he watches her distribute the bags contents onto the counter he had only just cleaned. his smile immovable. “i wasn’t expecting you yet.” though he had been, generally. they have precious and rare time together when schedules line up. he frequently makes time to spend with her alone this way. maybe it’s better this way. that he didn’t have to exactly schedule the time, only mentioned he wanted to see her, and then poof, she appears. a cloud floating back into his empty sky. “i’ll cook.” he tells her with intent, firm and warm with it’s subtle affection as he pushes himself up and drifts towards her.

she’s so much smaller than him, he engulfs an arm around her, brushes her shoulders, his chest against her back, to reach ingredients. quickly and concisely, he helps her spread them out across the surface with effortless comfort of her presence. “you should relax.” he moves the rest of the ingredients into a neat line and then returns himself to the sink to wash his hands as though they hadn’t just been inches apart. it’s easy to forget being so close speaks so loudly of the intimacy he shares with her. yunseo doesn’t feel comfortable with women the way he does with her, not anymore. “you’ll only get in my way if you’re in the kitchen,” he teases, turns and shakes his hands out of the water with a smirk.

yunseo took care of her, better than most people did. he was like the older brother she always wanted. granted, she already had an older brother, but she wasn’t nearly as close to him as she was to yunseo. he didn’t care about her interests like yunseo did. he never called or texted her to check up on her or to just as her about her day. he didn’t know what her favorite food was or how she liked her ramen cooked or anything like that. yunseo did though. it was almost amazing how many little things about her he had memorized, down to tiny, minuscule details that most wouldn’t deem important. but it shouldn’t have been that surprising to her in the first place. why wouldn’t he have all that memorized when she did the same for him? she found it so easy, so normal, to have his schedule committed to memory just as well as her own. it was second nature for her to come over to his apartment and integrate herself into his home. she knew where everything was, how he liked his space kept, how he liked his food cooked. it was just easy for them, and she liked it. she liked it a lot. “that’s the point of it being a surprise,” she teased, rising an eyebrow up at him. chanmi continued her task of removing all the items and ingredients from their respective bags, placing the expensive bottle of wine off to the side after inspecting the bottle for a few seconds. “i heard that this is really good! or at least that’s what the man at the store told me. he said, ‘a sweet looking lady like you deserves the sweetest tasting wine.’ it was a little weird, but i was flattered! and he gave it to me at a discounted price too.” she glanced over at him when he spoke, her eyes narrowing at his words. 

“yah - no! i’m cooking tonight. don’t try to take over my mojo.” she let a fake frown cross over her face, huffing when he reached around her and grabbed the items she had set out. “i was planning on relaxing after i finished cooking and we were eating,” chanmi grumbled under her breath, turning around to face him when he moved to the sink to wash his hands. “you’re the one who’s getting in my way,” she shot back, unable to keep the smile off of her face as she walked over to the sink. “you should at least let me help. i brought this stuff so i could make you a meal, not the other way around.” she gently nudged him with her hip, bumping him out of the way so she could wash her own hands. 

[fmdchanmi]

*   ⤻    starter.   ‹   @fmddojun​.   ›

“oppa, you never told me how your date went.” she didn’t bother hiding the playful tone in her words, nor did she bother hiding the way that her eyebrows rose and wiggled just a little bit, teasing her senior. ever since she had heard that he had finally started a romantic relationship with someone, chanmi hadn’t let him hear the end of it. in true younger friend fashion, she took it upon himself to tease him at every available opportunity. it was nice being able to have a playful back and forth banter with him. she admittedly wasn’t all that close with her own older sibling, so having a relationship like that with dojun was a good replacement to fill in the void that had always been missing in her heart. 

[fmdchanmi]

haemifmd‌:

all haemi could really do was sigh softly, accepting defeat this time around as they walk back over to the dress and the singer grabbed the correct size for her friend. “sometimes i think you’re the only one who can really shut me up with the nicest compliments ever. and i don’t even know how that’s possible but i won’t complain… this time.” she giggled softly, eyes-rolling. moments like this were always engraved into haemi’s mind, never knowing when she’ll have this freedom to come out and experience another shopping experience with a friend. of course, it was possible but will become harder in the future if the singer’s solo debut became a success. “thank god i dressed lightly for moments like this, i hate taking off so much.. call me lazy.” her voice ringing over the curtains of her dressing room, not wasting time as she slipped out of her clothes. 

“that’s because it’s a special talent of mine. it’s a gift, what can i say? at least i use it for good and not for evil. most of the time,” she joked, chuckling softly to herself as the two of them moved throughout the store and towards the dressing rooms. chanmi listened intently as the other spoke, stepping into the dressing room next to the one that haemi had just entered. “you’re preaching to the choir. whenever i have schedules, i make sure to wear as less clothing as possible.. which sucks when it’s cold outside, but it’s worth it once you’re changing, you know?” she asked, changing out of her clothes and into the dress that they had seen. 

[joysooyoungie]

[fmdchanmi]

fmdxsuji·:

she really thinks that things shouldn’t be this awkward. too much time has passed for either of them to really hold grudges, and from the way chanmi’s expression seems to almost mimic her’s, she assumes that the other female is feeling the same way. “i’m good! a little tired but when am i not, right?” it’s a lame excuse of a joke, but she’s hoping that it works well enough to lighten up the mood. though it’s a little sad that her joke involves her decreased amount of energy; that’s nothing new in this industry though. 

“yeah, that’d be nice,” she replies before following the female into her waiting room. it’s weird, and she wonders how many of chanmi’s staff members know about her connection to gold star, to fuse, to her. this isn’t the right time for them to talk out all their feelings, so suji decides to stick to regular small talk. anything to keep the conversation going. but she’s conflicted because she’s not sure what would consist of a good conversation. does she talk about her song? does she say that she’s happy that she debuted? they all sound like jabs to how chanmi couldn’t debut under gold star. “how are you enjoying the event? it’s nice to see you on stage.” 

“oh, i understand that completely. i know gold star has been working you girls to the bone. i loved your last comeback though! umpah umpah was great.” it’d be a lie if she tried to claim that she wasn’t keeping up to date on all of fuse’s releases and comebacks. she had to admit that they had good music; it was all catchy and stuck in her head for days after hearing it. it made her think about what could have been if she had debuted in fuse. would she be happy? would she be as happy as she was now? she wasn’t sure, and she figured there was no use in dwelling on it. 

she led suji into her waiting room, quietly shutting the door behind them. a few of her staff bustled around the room doing one thing or another, but chanmi made a beeline for the couch that was set up on the opposite side of the room. chanmi wasn’t too sure where the conversation was about to go, what their topics of conversation would entail, but she knew that she wanted to apologize. she wanted to get it off her chest. years of regret and guilt still festered in the pit of her stomach, gnawing away at her insides. “i’m enjoying the event.. it’s really nice. you know i love performing.” she had been the same way as a trainee - or at least in her later years. always eager for evaluations and a chance to prove herself. “are you enjoying the concert?” 

[fmdchanmi]

Official_Chanmi uploaded a photo!

Wishing you all were here enjoying the moonlight with me 💕✨

❤️ 286k Likes •  💬 18.9k Comments

chanmiswifey icb you’re on a date without me melodicfusion homeless and jobless? flop ↳ bcbiased @melodicfusion what was that? sorry, chanmi can’t hear you from the top of the charts gay4eunjae she makes me want to be a straighter man park.chanmi.fan where’s the new comeback??? hardeststan pls.. i’ll suck the latex off your strap ↳ prettyvanity @hardeststan wtf is wrong with u

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[fmdchanmi]

fmdjaeyeol·:

when: april 3, 2020; 2:15 pm where: food tasting festival in mapo, seoul with: @fmdchanmi·

if jaeyeol was being honest, he hadn’t planned on showing up to the voluntary events of the festival. he’d show his face for the minimum amount of time required for his manager not scold him before ducking out, but the lack of wanting to prepare something for lunch had landed him out and about in the city with lots of others, in search of food. 

he considered it a plus that he was able to find a companion to the food tasting, having not been able to find a unity member who felt up to going for a bit, but one of his favorite noonas was never a bad option. “i don’t know which stall to visit first,” yeol admitted as he looked at the options that surrounded them, nose being affronted with a variety of different scents. “noona which one to first?”

although it wasn’t required for her to do so, it was highly encouraged by her manager and the rest of her team that she attend every day of the festival and go to as many events as possible. seeing as how she was still completely new to the industry, it was in her best interest to get her face out there as much as possible. an idol’s rookie years were crucial to the amount of success that would obtain, and making herself familiar with the public as early as possible almost guaranteed success. or at least that was what bc entertainment told her.

she was just glad that the only thing going on that day was the food tasting festival, which she happily attended with her close friend. “don’t let your eyes be too big for your stomach, jaeyeol-ah,” she teased, resting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “ah.. how about that one?” she pointed towards a random food booth. “that one looks promising.”

[fmdchanmi]

fmdxsuji·:

suji’s rehearsed in her head several times how she would start a conversation with chanmi if she were to see her again. after their bitter ending together at gold star, she’s wanted to reach out to make amends because she still cared deeply for her, but fuse had only gotten busier and busier, and then she lost contact with her, not even realizing that she’s left gold star. it’s only when the teasers for her solo debut under a different company came up that suji realized that she’s probably lost any chance she had. 

until now, at least. she’s nervous to see chanmi almost as if she was some ex that ended badly. well, that wouldn’t be completely untrue in their case. she’s standing outside chanmi’s waiting room tent, whispering to herself how she would greet chanmi when she’s suddenly approached by the exact person she’s been looking for. suji can’t help but jump a little because this was not in her scenario, but she’s blocking the entrance to her waiting room so chanmi probably had no choice but to come up to her. 

“chanmi-yah. i-i just wanted to drop by and say hi.” definitely not what she had in her mind, but the words came out first, and suji wasn’t fast enough to stop them.

@fmdchanmi·, march 30th, spring festival day concert

if there was anything that chanmi was ashamed of, it was her behavior towards the girls who had been selected for both fuse and femme fatale’s lineups. at the time, she had been so blinded by anger that she couldn’t even see that she was in the wrong for how she acted towards them. the nasty remarks, sideways looks and just all in all negative attitude she had when it came to them, especially suji, made her feel incredibly guilty. she had improved her relationships with a few of the girls, but she hadn’t seen suji ever since leaving gold star almost two years prior.

now that they were both performing at the same concert, she could feel an underlying level of anxiety easing into the pit of her stomach. there were a lot of idols already there, but she knew it was only a matter of time until she ran into suji, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that or not. after doing a run through of her songs for soundcheck, chanmi was on her way back to her waiting room when she spotted a familiar figure from down the hall. she hesitated for a moment, before continuing her stride towards her former label mate. 

“oh.. hi suji-ah.” she bowed her head slightly, putting on a small smile. “it’s nice to see you after all of this time.. how have you been?” it wasn’t until a few seconds had passed that she realized that they were still standing there in front of her waiting room. “would you like to come in?” 

[bearseulgi]

[fmdchanmi]

fmdheejoon‌:

~ 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ✿    /   sunday night, 11:23pm  ➥ @fmdchanmi​ .

  🆆ithout words he can complete the cycle, so familiar it is. angling himself into the arm of the loveseat╸pulling chanmi against his chest, the blanket up around them. wrapping an arm over her shoulder, bent at the elbow to cradle her head. the flat smells of popcorn and her lingering perfume. with his cheek squished against her head. ❛i don’t think this movie makes any sense,❜ he yawns mid sentence, it turns into a garbled abomination. kisses her temple quickly and closes his eyes. he’s thankful she doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head for her to notice hadn’t been paying attention for the last act; ❛all the ones you pick end up being weird,❜ there’s benefits to having chanmi in his corner since the beginning. intimacy like this is one. it would be nice to sleep with her, instead of alone. it had been so long since the last time. fifteen years or more of her at his side. one night with her in his arms. he’ll take it for now. ❛so much for netflix and chill. going to be netflix and sleep at this rate.❜

it was a position she had found herself in many times before, and it was just as comfortable as it was the first few hundred times. her arms wrapped around his torso, cheek pressing against his chest as her eyes focused on the television screen in front of them. her fingers idly traced shapes on his arm, dancing along the skin lightly. “you’re not even making an attempt to understand it,” she grumbled when he kissed her temple, rolling her eyes at him. as usual, she couldn’t find it in herself to really be annoyed by or with him. she never could. “if my movie choices are always weird, why do you always tell me to choose what we watch then, hm?” she shot back, picking up her head so that she could look at him properly, their noses nearly touching. it was almost strange how normal it was being so close to someone. she didn’t even feel the urge to flinch or look away. maybe that was what nearly two decades of friendship would do to someone. “don’t fall asleep on me like some ahjussi, joonie.” 

[fmdchanmi]

fmdminjung·:

chanmi’s admissions about the middle aged ladies pierced through her own calm composure she upheld during events, allowing a burst of laughter to reflect. “i doubt any of these women would hit you with their purses. they’re all holding birkins after all; they would pass out if something were to scuff their thirty thousand dollar purses.” a lavish look of fur and purses of the room, and suddenly minjung was enchanted with the idea of embroiling herself inside a fight - only for her puppet strings to straighten up her spine back into its prim form. she was part of gold star, the tenderness of her minor scuff with her instagram posts taming her back into the small bark lap dog she was.

“i only look like this today because i have the power of the styling team. you’ve always been pretty - it was the first thing i said to you the second i entered gold star.” chami was objectively beautiful, the visions of a summer grapefruit laced and sprinkles of sugar. minjung remembered the moment she saw the figure, daunted by the graceful elegance and the poise she possessed, leading her only to muster out a ‘you’re so pretty.’ the second her feet entered the gold star studios. “do they treat you well there? giving you the treatment you deserve?” her heels clacked against the hard floors, slowly trailing behind the taller figure. it was nice, a mutual concordance that wasn’t built upon feigned relations and an underlying agenda - it was a reunion of some sorts, bridging together the distance of time. “a highballer, i think i’ve grown up because now i’ve acquired a taste to whiskey.”

“good point.” minjung words made complete sense. chanmi had been around those kind of women before, and they would definitely rather give out looks of disdain instead of risk scuffing their thousands of dollars purses. of course chanmi remembered their first meeting. minjung was just as sweet to her then as she was at present. the memory made chanmi smile, and she politely waved her hand in a show of dismissing her indirect compliment. “you’ve always been gorgeous too, minjung. if i recall correctly, i told you that right after you said i was pretty all those years ago.” she wasn’t good when it came to accepting compliments, she never had been. receiving praises and compliments was something she always struggled with because she rarely, if ever, received them from her parents growing up. “they do, actually. they treat me decently.” she had a feeling that was because of how well her releases had done and how much popularity she was gaining already, just a year into her career. she couldn’t help but chuckle at her response. “whiskey, huh? you definitely have acquired an adult’s taste.” she stopped in front of the bar, resting her hands against it. “can we just get two old fashions, please? whiskey.”