heaven's cloud;

xiao yuanjun || 21 || charm

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdwooram​:

[...]

“You wound me, love. I just stopped by to ask you how are you doing. How is that terrorizing?” he places a hand over his heart, and his brows creased with an effort to understand even when he knows exactly what bullshit he’s pulling. “You act like I was the sole reason your life crumbled to the floor, but I’m sure I don’t have that much power over others,” which is true from his point of view. Cocky as he might be (and he knows he is), he was rarely on the top of the pyramid to control things like that. “I might have helped, it’s all. And rich people rarely have a sense of remorse or decency anyway, so trust me. I’m not even a tenth as bad to you as some others could be,” he says slightly annoyed. Did Yuanjun really think he had pulled this attitude out of his ass? It wouldn’t be surprising if he did think that, and it’s not as if he made an effort to make him believe otherwise.

at some point, yuanjun had expected the hurt to go away at being reminded just how little wooram cared about him, how little he had meant to him. that moment still hadn’t come. sure, he had long since moved on, there was not a single part of his heart that missed wooram but the torment of having been so insignificant when wooram had meant the world to him still continued to drag along to this day. “then why?” his voice quivering with the question, hands balled into tighter fists by his side. “then why did you ever agree to date me? why did you do all of this to me? why couldn’t you just have turned me down and moved along? you owed it to me to save me all that hurt!” it took a lot to not burst out into tears, the absolute last thing yuanjun wanted to do in front of wooram, he couldn’t yet ago show him a sign of weakness, he couldn’t give him that satisfaction. “i don’t know. i guess i was a fool for that. i guess i wanted to believe there was more to you than people said, that you deserved a chance to show your true colors before i made up my mind.” he laughed bitterly, voice sitll wavering. “and show your true colors you did. so i guess that’s on me after all, that i was so stupid to believe that there was anything more to you than this pathetic, pitiful, rotten shell of a person.”

yuanjun could almost pinpoint the moment his sadness burned up into white hot, seething rage. “how is that terrorizing?” he asked incredulously, sucking in a sharp breath, blinkin away the veil of tears over his eyes that never actually spilled. “you ditched me because i was too much work remember? because i was hurting and i was afraid and thanks to you i was all alone. because god forbid you’d have to put in effort for me.” he took a step forward, a step too close from comfort, his posture strung tight like a bowstring, as if one second away from snapping. “and i had to pick myself up from that, i built myself back up from the ground, i had to work gruelling hard for that. you do not get to waltz in here and jeopardize my happiness because you’re bored and want some plaything. my happiness is not yours to infringe on and take for yourself.” a tremble passed through his muscles with how hard it is to hold back and not lash out. “you want to pretend you’re vindicated in this? that the blame doesn’t fall on you? that it’s not all that bad? that’s not your call to make!” in a moment of impulse, his hands came up to shove wooram backwards roughly. “just fucking own up to your shit! take responsibility for what you did to me! i do not exist for your amusement! i am my own person with my own feelings and you will fucking acknowledge them even if it’s the last thing i do!”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdhyunsoo​:

the past week felt like a whirlwind and hyunsoo was only starting to get back on his feet. yuanjun’s incident in japan had scared the life out of him, only to be made worse by the fact that hyunsoo couldn’t be there with him in the hospital as he had to finish the concert up with the rest of charm. on top of that, he hated hospitals to begin with, but he loved yuanjun more and so he’d spent as much time as he could making sure his boyfriend was comfortable and okay whenever he had a free moment between rehearsals for the concert and for his musical. now that the tour was over, though, hyunsoo felt like he could breathe a little bit now and focus just on his musical, especially now that yuanjun’s parents were over from china. not exactly the circumstances he’d hoped to see them again in, but still. on the plus side, it meant they got to come to his musical and hyunsoo get to spend some time alone hanging out and getting to know his in-laws a bit better. 

once he’d gotten home with takeout in hand, he’d instantly gone straight to change into more comfortable clothes and stay by yuanjun’s side. he’d placed himself firmly on his own side of the bed, watching fondly as yuanjun ate the food he brought him. “your parents were fine, honestly,” he replied with a smile, “i was more worried that i wouldn’t be able to talk with them properly and it’d be awkward but it went better than i expected! i’m glad they had a good time though.” even though yuanjun always insisted that he didn’t need to, hyunsoo always tried to go out of his way to give a good image to his in-laws. their approval was definitely important to him. “and i’m glad you liked the pictures too, we figured it’d be something you’d enjoy.” at yuanjun’s apology, however, hyunsoo adamantly shook his head, reaching over to gently run his fingers through yuanjun’s hair to try and comfort him. “it’s okay, darling. it would have been wonderful if you could have been there but your health is more important than a musical, and being on the receiving end of manager noona’s wrath isn’t worth it. there’ll be more shows that you’ll be able to come to and we can all be there, the four of us.” he leaned over to press a quick kiss to the side of yuanjun’s temple before speaking again. “how are you feeling, though? any better?”

after spending most of his time in bed, hearing about hyunsoo’s outing with his parents was a breath of fresh air, as were bites of a meal that had not been prepared at home. not that he got to complain, his parents had been near obnoxiously insisting in cooking for him (and hyunsoo whenever his boyfriend was home) and yuanjun adored his mother’s cooking more than anything, one of the things he missed most being away from home. but it was nice to be in contact with something that had come from outside of the apartment walls, something that yuanjun himself was still not allowed to do. “your mandarin is better than you give yourself credit for, i’ve known that for a while now.” yuanjun took a break from eating to send a warm smile in hyunsoo’s direction. “i’m glad they weren’t too overwhelming. you know how my parents get they’re... a lot and you’ve never been alone with them before. i was a little worried they’d i don’t know, overwhelm you with how nosy they get.”

yuanjun reached around him for a second to find his phone, discarded under a pillow somewhere, pulling it up and unlocking it to show his phone background to hyunsoo, the picture already set as his background. “i love it so much, it’s my favorite picture in the world.” he promised solemnly, his eyes wide and genuine. “it’s not okay.” his shoulders slumping a little, dissapointment passing through his expression for a second. “all of this is stupid. my stupid lungs and this stupid infection-” yuanjun huffed, stopping himself in his tracks, this was his own fault after all. “i hope we can do that, that there will be a moment that they’re still in korea and i’m allowed of the house.” curling himself into his hyunsoo’s side a little tighter. “m okay, fever is almost gone at this point at least, a lot still hurts and i’m tired all the time but i’m feeling less sick. don’t worry too much yeah? i’m recovering just fine. as long as i don’t cough, that sucks, majorly.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdsooah​:

“Wow, I’m terrified,” she says with her best blank expression that prevents her from breaking into a smile. It’s the same face she has to pull off when working on magazine photoshoots, so it’s easy enough to make it come by. It’s difficult to keep it up with Yuanjun’s overall demeanor, though. “You do know that saying fuck the system and be a rebel doesn’t change you in the slightest right? You still look like someone who would cry if a seven-year-old stepped on your toes,” she says mostly teasing but not completely. It’s rich coming from Sooah, but she always thought Yuanjun looked fragile.

Sooah rolls her eyes good-naturedly and shakes her head in disbelief, “you sound as if you just turned 40 and your joints hurt from blinking,” she comments with a smile that quickly turns into something else. Her eyes go wide, and Sooah leans forward, “do you think you’ll still be this dramatic in your forties?” Which she can only expect to be the prediction of his future, and even though she’s not sure of what it holds for them and their friendship, but she imagines for a bare second the two of them in this same situation but decades older. It will be good if she manages to keep Yuanjun’s company for the next few years at least, “I would be sorry for you if you didn’t have so much charisma. You were meant to do this.”

“as you should be! i’m super terrifying!” he protested loudly, hands finding his way to his hips, chest puffed forward. it was true, yuanjun didn’t look very menacing, probably never would but in his defense he had always been intense in his emotions, anger included, that could get pretty ugly at times. and well, anyhing that yuanjun lacked in intimidation he made up for in sheer stupidity in impulsivity, he’d always fight tooth and nail, even if he was destined to loose. “i’d fucking fight a seven year old if i had to. thank you very much.” he protested. “you wound me sooah. how dare you not acknowledge my evil genius.”

yuanjun couldn’t help but laugh. “hmh, i guess tthat is a bit much indeed. if that was the case i would no longer be able to be the industries best dancer and we all know that is simply unacceptable.” he reasoned, nodding his head to signify he was clearly sold on his own logic. “i sure hope so, imagine how much more boring i will be if i’m not.” he turned his head to sooah, smiling at her. “i guess you’re gonna have to stick around all that time to find out.” he liked that thought, remaining friends with sooah for a long time. he didn’t know how realistic that wish was but he would hope for it nonetheless. “it’s hard to be this charming but someone has to do it you know? with great power comes great responsibility and it’s my responsibility to be bc entertainments baby.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdjaeyeol​:

jaeyeol watched as hae moved from yuanjun’s lap and over to her dog bed that laid in the living room, one of the two she had in the apartment. couldn’t have his best girl not always having a comfortable spot to lay in when the couch was full or she wanted to be on the floor. it was probably best she didn’t stay long anyways, he was already counting down the minutes until yuanjun’s allergies really kicked in with the effects of hae being around. “i’m more than alright, but i’ll take it,” he settled, getting fully comfortable on the couch with their new position. sure, yuanjun was annoying, but so was jaeyeol. it made for an excellent friendship truly.

“excuse me, i was fucking them long before the feelings ever came along, i would eye fuck them long before i was wanting to like sleep next to them and love them, and all that good shit,” it was a very romantic way to put it truly. it wasn’t a lie though, jaeyeol never intended to fall for their friend, and honestly was rather shocked when he realized he had done just that. the idea of the dreaded more hadn’t been in the cards for so long, it was odd that suddenly something had changed so quickly. jaeyeol rolled his eyes. “no worries, don’t plan on any messy break ups in the near future, you’re safe for now.”

yuanjun coughed a couple of times, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable itch in the back of his throat though if asked about, he probably would play stupid or downplay it but he would cross that bridge when they’d get there. “take the damn compliment jeon jaeyeol, i missed having you around.” yuanjun pouted. for all that he was annoying, he was also an incredibly clingy and affectionate friend. “just love me back already damn it, it won’t kill you to tell me you like me. i’m very likeable you know!”

yuanjun scrunched his nose. of course he had been aware that jaeyeol and jihae had been friends with a few extra benefits but it wasn’t something they had ever spoken in grand detail, something to acknowledge and move on from. “i didn’t mean like... sexual eye-fucking. god forbid you did plenty of that. i mean like... romantic eye-fucking, the i want them to be the happiest person in the whole world kind. it was kinda gross to look at really.” did yuanjun get to speak on sappy romantic shit? no, not with how he was always all over hyunsoo but he still would. “i know that shit is scary to think about, i won’t bring shit like that up anymore. just, know i really wish the best for you two, i’m rooting for you two.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdwooram​:

What is his plan, and what does he want out of it? Wooram isn’t sure. Why does he feel the need to reach out to someone at this moment, and why is it Yuanjun? Why he doesn’t have any answers for his question, but still perseveres and goes against his gut feeling that he could stay away for the night. Exes must unlock something different within him, especially when it’s the first guy he was ever involved with. Yuanjun is special in the worst way possible.

“I don’t know why you think I use pet names only with my lovers. I do that to people I care about too, you were just unlucky to not be on that list,” he tilts his head while he explains, eyes soft and unchanging, as if he didn’t say something that sounds so cruel towards a person who was connected to him not that many years ago. Wooram’s expression changes and he smirks towards Yuanjun as he hangs his head back to drink the last of the contents in his cup. “You see, love, there’s a reason why we had a little fling back in the day,” he says lowly, enough to Yuanjun to catch on that, “I find you interesting, and exciting, which should be taken as a compliment. You don’t think I would let you go this easily, right?” Wooram feigns a hurt expression, forehead frown and lips pursed. He waves his hand and clicks his tongue as his eyes diverge to their surroundings, “I don’t want to deal with people’s shit Yuanjun-ah, but now you look like you’re on the top of your game. It’s great. You not needing me is the best thing I could ask for, and I’m not here for that after all. I would say you know me well, have you known me as a giver? I’m not here to do charity or to apologize. I’m here to have fun,” Wooram says mockingly with a smile that read nothing but danger. Sharp enough to cut.

he should just walk away. the best thing yuanjun could do was turn away and get the hell out of here, go find hyunsoo, go find any of his friends, anything that meant not hanging around wooram. but yuanjun felt anger burning under his skin, the alchol under his skin only making her all the more impulsive and stupid. he wanted a sign of remorse from wooram, some acknowledegment that the way he had treated him was awful and unfair and cruel and god damn it, did yuanjun feel ready to force that out of him, no matter how foolish that notion was.

“well you don’t have the right to call me any pet names point blank so save it for someone that’s more impressionable. i don’t want any of it.” he huffed icily, his tone defensive, walls drawn up high. “it was not some little fling. call it was it was. you were my boyfriend eventhough you never managed to live up to that on the promise. at least have the balls to own up to what it was.” he spat out. “you do not get to downplay what we were supposed to have, you do not get to act like i was crazy and got all these things in my head. we were dating. you agreed to that, you knew damn well what we were and that what you did was unacceptable.”  he scoffed in disdain, kicking at the concrete beneath his feet. “a compliment? you think i’m gonna drop down on my knees and thank the heavens that you’ve taken enough interest in me to constantly terrorize me? god you’re so full of your own bullshit wooram.” his fists were shaking with anger at this point, the sense of humiliation that came with being in a powerless position. nothing he said would make a difference but god damn it, would yuanjun try. “well what’s your definition of a good time then? a black eye? because i’ll give you that if that’s what you’re asking for. you do not get to jeopardize my happiness just because you’re bored. have you no sense of decency? of remorse? i had to build myself up from the ground again after all the shit you pulled on me and now i’m in a better place you do not just get to waltz in to chip away at that again. contrary to your belief, i don’t exists solely for your amusement wooram, i’m not some toy to prod at when you’re bored.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

jihanfmd​:

“I love you but I feel like you’d be the type of CEO everyone loves but who also accidentally sets the company on fire.” Jihae grinned. It wasn’t like they’d make a better replacement for Bang Sunyoung, though, so maybe all this conversation really went to show was that Yuanjun was probably best off when he was the only one following the trail he blazed for himself and that Jihae would make for a pretty sorry excuse of a leader. “Maybe the world needs a little fire though, agreed. To make sure the people in power don’t get too complacent.”

Hearing Yuanjun call himself a big boy, even if they knew it wasn’t meant literally, prompted a badly concealed giggle. Their friend was a great deal of things, many flattering ones among them but in all neutrality, nothing about Yuanjun was particularly big—other than his penchant to get himself into trouble, probably. Still, if he thought he could handle it it wasn’t really up to Jihae to patronize him. “Alright. If you ever change your mind, even if you can handle, I’ll be here though, yeah?” Were they in a bigger group, they probably would’ve played off the blackmail joke a little more but when it was just the two of them, Jihae found it hard to be particularly biting with him. Yuanjun had seen far too many unflattering and vulnerable sides of them to be fooled by much posturing anyway, so what was the point?

Jihae liked Yuanjun’s approach to tattoos. They doubted it’d be what they wanted for themselves but they were talking ink on skin and permanence, what Yuanjun wanted with his own tattoos only really had to appeal to him anyway. “You’ll be fifty and covered in a bazillion little, colourful tattoos,” they hummed, their tone even, serene. There was no judgement in what they said and they hoped Yuanjun knew. “I don’t know if I’d have the courage to ask Jaeyeol to get something matching,” they added pensively. And sure, their relationship was fresh and didn’t really warrant a vow for eternity in form of ink and skin but their friendship went back a lot further and sometimes Jihae found themselves wondering if maybe a snapshot of it now would make sense. “Not just because these things are forever, but. You know. Different people, different styles. How to match without looking disjointed, how to match without explicitly looking like a set.” They shrugged. “It’s easier if I just wake up one morning and ask my brother to send me something in his handwriting. That’s just responsibility for myself.”

“only as part of my creative vision!” yuanjun exclaimed boldly, as if that in any way made for a good argument. jihae was onto something, yuanjun would make for a terrible ceo, he had no aspirations to be one, but he did like to indulge himself in some innocent little plans for world domination. you know. casual stuff. “fire is totally acceptable! sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!”

yuanjun smiled at jihae, if there was one thing he was grateful for in his best friend it was that they would always show the utmost of faith in yuanjun, even if his claims were ridiculously larger than life, even if he was being overly-confident. this was no different from that, if yuanjun said it wouldn’t hurt, jihae would believe him, even if they both know he had no way of knowing that for sure. “i might still hold your hand though.” yuanjun reached over to give their hand a soft squeeze, eventhough the offer had in no way been meant for right now. “just, if i get bored, or because i want to. i think those are all valid arguments.” he grinned, giving their hand another soft squeeze before dropping it again for now, his point made fo the time being. “and to make it even better. you’re also allowed to hold my hand if you want to while getting your tattoo. no reason needed.”

“exactly!” yuanjun beamed, his smile stretching across his entire face. he liked that jihae could get behind his vision on the matter. he didn’t need anyone’s approval of course, yuanjun was chaotic stupid by nature, if he wanted a bazillion little colorful tattoos he would, but it was nice that jihae seemed to latch onto the same idea he had in his head almost instantaneously. “i’ll be the coolest fifty year old ever!” his smile softened, more genuine but still as warm as jihae carefully brought up jaeyeol. “i mean, fair enough. matching tattoos aren’t a rite of passage anyway and you two are very new still, no need to decide on this stuff now.” he lightly nudged them with his elbow. “but you got options you know, you can get things matching in semantics but different in style. or just, get tattoos together eventhough they’re totally unrelated, you’ll still think of him when you see it.”  yuanjun smiled. “though i just got lucky that hyunsoo makes big concessions for me, our tattoo doesn’t really blend in with the rest of his ink but that’s just my irresistible charm i think.” he winked at jihae. “don’t break your pretty over it yeah hae? you don’t have to know just yet. you can wake up at literally any point and decide to do something together with jaeyeol. and if you don’t, that’s also fair.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

ooc.

i want to go on record that it’s canon that all of yuanjun’s non-charm friends received this text from yuanjun after they saw his name trend on naver cuz he had dropped out of the concert to let them know he didn’t d-word.

[doyoung-kim]

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

doyoung-kim​:

renjun : diggity & hello future 210701

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

setting: yuansoo’s apartment, 9 august 2021 with: @fmdhyunsoo

ever since his little stunt back during their japanese tour, time had moved weirdly for yuanjun. it’s not like he did anything, being bed bound for all of it, yet a lot had happened. charm had gone off to finish their tour, leaving yuanjun back in korea and other than his manager pestering him every few hours as she obnoxiously checked up on him, his parents had also insisted on flying out to korea to look after him. yuanjun really hated how everytime they came out to korea, it seemed to be because he had been either injured or sick the past few years. so needless to say, even with hyunsoo absent, first with the tour and after that working on his musical, yuanjun had gotten smothered plenty.

at least his parents’ presence came with one upside, with them unexepectedly in the country, there was at least the window of opportunity for them to attend hyunsoo’s musical and eventhough his parents didn’t speak much korean, they had been eager to do so. thus it had been settled, yuanjun had shooed them out of his and hyunsoo’s apartment for the night to go watch his boyfriend (yuanjun himself still being heartbroken he couldn’t go, he’d go to every single show if he could) and to grab dinner together afterward. it had been a win-win really, it was the perfect opportunity to let his parents bond with his boyfriend for a little bit and yuanjun finally got some peace and quiet. 

when hyunsoo had returned home for the night, it had been without yuanjuns parents who had retired to their hotel room for the night (thank god they hadn’t insisted on staying in their apartment, yuanjun would’ve lost his mind) but with some food from the restaurant for yuanjun, something that had absolutely delighted him. “so how was tonight love?” yuanjun asked, inbetween bites of food. he was still stuck in bed but now he was sitting up at least, progress, even if slow. “i hope my parents weren’t too... themselves. i know they can be a lot to deal with. they let me know they had a lovely night though and that they enjoyed spending time with you so incredibly much.” before hyunsoo had gotten home, yuanjun had spent a long while on the phone with his mom as she had rambled about how lovely and polite and kind hyunsoo was. “thank you by the way, for the pictures you sent. it meant a lot.” at some point, hyunsoo had sent him some selfie of him together with his parents, they were absolutely adorable. “i... i wish i could’ve been there tonight. i’m sorry for not being able to make it. i would’ve snuck out but... manager-noona would’ve efficiently choked me to death if i had tried.”

[famedexclusivearchive]

Following a sudden departure in the middle of CHARM’s August 1 concert in Fukuoka, fans of CHARM have been speculating about the state of the health of the group’s youngest member Yuanjun after it was announced halfway into the concert he would not be joining the group for the rest of the performance. This sparked concern among fans, especially as CHARM’s youngest is known to have a history of health complications. After an initial silence, BC Entertainment has finally released a statement regarding the wellbeing of Yuanjun and its implications on the rest of the tour and CHARM’s schedules going forward. Read the official statement below:

Hello. This is BC Entertainment.

After the events at the CHARM 2021 Japan Dome Tour concert in Fukuoka on August 1, we wanted to update and reassure the fans of CHARM that have been anxiously awaiting news regarding CHARM’s Yuanjun. We apologize for the delay on the news and appreciate the wait as BC Entertainment has been in discussion with the artist regarding the best course of action while putting the artist’s health first.

After feeling unwell during the concert, Yuanjun, with a heavy heart, opted to sit out for the rest of the concert in favor of getting a check-up and to preserve his health. After further medical attention, the artist has been diagnosed with a lung infection and thus BC Entertainment and Yuanjun have come to the mutual agreement that, for now, he will be taking a break from his schedules, including the remaining tour dates left on the CHARM 2021 Japan Dome Tour, and focus on recovery before rejoining CHARM again at their group schedules.

For the time being, we ask for your patience and thank you for your continuous love and support for both Yuanjun and CHARM. We will continue to release updates on the artist’s condition.

COMMENTS

1. please make a speedy recovery, our maknae!

2. he must have been struggling so much while performing ㅜㅜ

3. yuanjun always gives his all on stage, it must have been really bad for him to not finish the show

4. a lung infection? I can’t believe bc only caught on so late!

5. it is not the first time this has happened but I can’t help but worry every time

6. people accusing bc of overworking yuanjun… how? he literally never has solo schedules anymore these days

7. in the middle of a concert? couldn’t he just have kept it together a little longer? this is so unprofessional

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

► kryptonite.

 dates: 1 august 2021 mentions of: @fmdhyunsoo who forever suffer with his idiot boyfriend word count: 1070 words warnings: hospitalization, breathing problems, illness, injury, needles/ivs, mentions of car accidents, health negligence  details:  yuanjun knocks the fuck out in the middle of one of charm’s concerts (backstage at least, thank god) because oopsie... maybe he’s been harbouring a little lung infection, happens to the best of us right? spoiler alert: bc ent is not very happy with him. (no managers were harmed in the process of writing this, tho the poor woman does deserve a raise)

 yuanjun fucking hated hospitals.

they were sterile and stuffy and the doctors always looked at him with a little bit too much pity for his own comfort.

also, he always kind of felt like death warmed over laying in a hospital bed.

last time, his knee had been tightly strapped in, a couple of gashes across his face.

this time, he was burning up with a high fever, his head pounding from hitting it on the side of a couch an hour or so early when he had passed out in the backstage area in the middle of one of charm’s concerts.

not his finest movement.

he couldn’t understand what the nurses that had come and gone so far had been saying, his japanese wasn’t good for that, but they did seem to feel very bad for him.

his manager, sitting by the side of his bed with her arms crossed over one another and a stony expression on her face, didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

she had been, previously, yuanjun did remember how worried and distraught had when they had first wheeled him into the hospital. his memories were a bit murky, mainly because his head had been spinning and throbbing significantly more than it did now and he was a little delirious on his high fever but he had been able to discern her concern well.

now however, some time later with yuanjun in a significant better state (mainly thanks to being on oxygen and the iv-drip in his hand saving him from the brink of dehydration) most of her concern had faded into anger instead.

yuanjun guessed it had something to do with the diagnose he’d been given.

“how long yuanjun?” she asked, breaking the tense silence.

“i swear i was fine this morning! it just- happened as the day progressed i guess.” he shrugged, shrinking further into his bedsheets at her sharp tone of voice. that was a big fat lie by the way, yuanjun had been feeling unwell for much longer by now but he wouldn’t admit to that.

“do not bullshit me right now xiao yuanjun. you have a lung infection, one you’ve been lugging around for god knows how long! do you have any idea how dangerous that is! especially with your-”

“don’t-” yuanjun flinched, knowing damn well what was coming. “don’t say it. i don’t want to hear it- don’t make this-”

his manager didn’t seem to care much for his protest.

“especially with your health problems.”

“this isn’t about that!” he protested, chest puffing up in anger, his words already getting breathy, even with the oxygen tube still in his nose, he wasn’t really in a position to get this fed up. and fed up he was, his blood was boiling. if there was one thing yuanjun hated, it was getting lectured about what he was or wasn’t supposed to do for his health.

“it is! you passed out in the middle of a concert! you’re in the god damn hospital with a serious fever and a lung infection! how long have you been walking around with this yuanjun? answer me.” his manager had always been chosen on her ability to not fold for his nonsense, she was putting her foot down and yuanjun knew he couldn’t chat his way around this one.

“i dunno, a week, maybe two? it wasn’t this bad the entire time okay! i figured i’d just- sit the tour out and i could take a break then-” he shrugged, hidden away into the blankets at this point.

“two weeks? you’ve been feeling this coming on for two weeks? and you didn’t say a word? are you actually insane!?” his manager fumed. “how did you even pull that off? how did hyunsoo not notice he’s your-” boyfriend “-roommate.”

yuanjun shrugged again, a little more deflatedly, deciding to omit answering all together. truth been told, it had been a painstaking effort, a lot of work going into dodging his boyfriend catching the worst of his health and downplaying it whenever hyunsoo had commented on it.

“forget about it i don’t want to know. either way you got what you wanted, you’re not finishing the god damn tour.”

“what!? you can’t do that! it’s only two more dates! i can finish the tour!” yuanjun protested fiery, wanting to press himself upright in his bed but not quiet finding the strength needed. that surely didn’t help his case.

“none of that. you’re in no state to perform and even if you were, consider this your punishment. if it were up to me you would be put on hiatus until you learned your god damn lesson for once but bc won’t let me do that, it would cost them too much money. for now, you’re on two weeks of mandatory bed rest, after that we’ll see if you’re in any position to go back to work.”

bed rest. the bane of yuanjun’s existence. the last time he had been on bed rest had been after his car accident and those weeks had easily been the worst of his life. yuanjun wasn’t made to sit still and do nothing, the boredom had been like an itch under his skin and together with the stress and anxiety, he’d been an absolute mess for the entirety of it. he didn’t need a repeat of that.

“fine, whatever.” he huffed off-handedly.

but that wasn’t all.

“i wasn’t done yet. as you seem to be unable to take care of yourself like an actual adult, bc is upping your supervision. bi-weekly doctor’s visits, i will bring you there and back myself and do not for a second think i will hesitate to drag you if needed. i’ll also be checking if you’re taking your medication, you’re not fooling anyone with pretending that you are and you will have an inhaler on you at all times. am i clear?”

“you can’t do that!” yuanjun tried to protest once more. though at this point, it was clear he was fighting a losing battle, one he was too tired to keep fighting.

“i can yuanjun, and i am. and for the love of god you better take this stuff serious because bc isn’t willing to put up with much more. you’ve made it clear that you’re not capable of taking this responsibility yourself. if you want to act like a child, i will treat you like one.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdandy​:

barely, did andy have the time to register that the camera had been yanked from him, and to look at his hand. within the span of a second, andy’s mind was capable of running a distance.

it seemed yuanjun was attempting to take control of this situation, of andy. he didn’t like that. not only was the sense of control a difficult thought to trudge through, yuanjun wanting to take it was only a reflection of his wrongdoing. andy’s therapist said he didn’t experience nor process emotion the way others did. likely true as it was, narrative forms of emotion tossed to him by media through his life rarely clicking, an othering, nonetheless, he was capable of deciphering moral right and wrong. he was capable of feeling regret when his own actions caused the loss of a good thing.

he didn’t want to look, at the smile he could hear in yuanjun’s voice. not only was it not for him, he dreaded the possibility of being reminded even more what it was like when that was for him.

andy clenched his still-open and empty hand, and flicked the switch. washed away was the situation, dragged into a box to deal with later. his own feelings weren’t important then anyway. and so, each word, each sound, each honorific, was boxed up too. “right.” his lips dragged a lazy smile, and he looked at yuanjun as the boy looked at him, a glance, anything more would be too heavy to box. “i’ll be more fun when our charmings get to see it in action and dance along. our main dancer here’s been working hard to make us a tight ship. nobody wants to disappoint teacher xiao.”

“and i’ll,” he swirled his smile into something more playful, cheeky, and leaned back so his arms stretching in front of him, fingers laced, could be seen by the camera, “have to make sure i impressed him so i can get back to writing for us quicker.” there, a small tease should settle them.

yuanjun worked on auto-pilot from the moment the camera had been switched on. this wasn’t about andy, it wasn’t even about he himself. it was about charm, a united front of thirteen people, no tensions bubbling behind the surface. he had always been intense in his emotions so without a doubt, yuanjun would find a moment to allow himself to feel the way his stomach churned and the hairs at the back of his neck stand up at the close proximity to andy but for now, that would have to wait, shoved deep down.

it was easier, to cover up the discomfort and the awkwardness when charm was whole, or when they at least weren’t left to their own devices as the two of them. yuanjun hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to keep the act up when so directly stuck with andy, forced to interact with each other and play off of one another, face almost falling as their eyes met for a tense, uncomfortable second before the older continued to speak. yuanjun wasn’t sure what he was talking about, his heartbeat was hammering too uncomfortably loud in his ears for that.

“-yes!” response came just a beat too late for it to be well-timed though yuanjun made up for his slip up with an unrivalled brightness to the smile on his features regardless of how hard it was to maintain. “i have to make sure charm is all on top of the choreographies and i won’t let them rest before they do.” he joked, smile so bright his eyes crinkeled up and his face hurt with how hard it was to keep it up. “i mean. we also have dowoon hyung for that but- mainly me! i’m in charge here!”

normally, at this point, yuanjun would’ve swung an arm around andy’s shoulder or pressed closer into his side, hanging off of him like he usually did with charm but he didn’t think he could quite stomach that. he was willing to go far to sell the illusion but not that far. “yes! we have so many exciting things coming out for our charmings. all of charm is working hard to bring even more fun stuff to look forward to in the future.” he turns his head to andy for a split second to ask him a question. “how are the songs coming along gege? do you feel inspired because of our charmings?”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

[STUDIO JUN] AVICII - FEELING GOOD

uploaded on 27-07-2021

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdjaeyeol​:

honestly jaeyeol had never kept the code on the door a secret from his close friends, welcoming them to visit whenever as long as they mentioned they were stopping by. yuanjun had been no different in that regard so he had no issue with the younger simply sauntering in like he owned the place. if he hadn’t wanted that to happen sometimes, then yuanjun wouldn’t have gotten the code given to him. “now that sounds false,” he corrected, resisting a smile as a finger indented his cheek. “but you’re alright to have around so i’m not mad.”

the sweet and wonderful hae was usually a hit with whomever was around, and knowing yuanjun’s allergy history and lack of dealing with it history, he made no room to argue as his sweet dog got some extra love and cuddles. jaeyeol rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics, though it wasn’t out of real annoyance, it was more fond than that he swore. “we were never that bad, cool your jets. you weren’t the one trying to decipher jihae’s feelings for you,” he joked. jaeyeol shrugged, not really wanting to fully explain their mid-makeout and potential fooling around confessions brought on by what he could only explain as intense and overwhelming emotions all suddenly crashing down at once. “not sure…we were just talking and it all kinda just naturally slipped into the conversation.” wasn’t a lie. 

feeling like he had bothered hae enough, yuanjun allowed the dog to hop off his lap again. ruefully, he looked at the hairs stuck to his clothes, knowing damn well he would regret the little cuddle session later, if not for his allergies, for hyunsoo catching sight of dog hair and scolding him for not being more careful. “heh, well, thank you. i shall treasure the compliment.” he laughed, now with his free range of movement back scooting closer to jaeyeol and resting his cheek against his friend’s shoulder. “for what it’s worth i also think you’re alright to have around.” for all that yuanjun was annoying (and he was, oh boy he was) he was also just incredibly fond of his friends, especially hist closest like jaeyeol.

and while he, as just stated, loved his friends very much. yuanjun also had to admit that sometimes, they were huge fucking idiots. jihae and jaeyeol’s feelings for each other had not been a secret, they had never been, yuanjun had watched the way they gravitated to each other for god knows how long now and he was convinced that the only reason it had taken them so long was because they were both too stubborn and prideful to see what was right in front of them. that, and maybe a little bit scared. “i had long since deciphered their feelings for you. and yours for them. it wasn’t that hard, not with the way you were always eye-fucking each other right in front of my god damn salad.” he protested. there had been plenty of not so subtle hints aimed at either one over time but yuanjun had never truly meddled in it, it hadn’t been his place to do so. “either way. i am very happy for you guys. also a little bit for myself but, mainly for you two. i can tell how whipped you are for each other, it’s sweet, you deserve that.” a moment of silence. “just don’t fuck it up. don’t worry, i’ll give jihae the same warning, just know i’m not getting caught up in any messy break ups.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdwooram​:

starter for: @fmdyuanjun

It’s not usual of Wooram to go after his meals. Metaphorically speaking or otherwise, he doesn’t seek people out. Instead, he waits. He’s not necessarily patient, but Wooram knows the best moment to attack, the best moment to approach, and to make his way under people’s skin. He’s not a born strategist if his decisions in life are any proof of that, but Wooram learns quickly. But that trait is thrown out of the window the moment he decides to drink, and from then on, it’s just a mess of thoughts and poorly made decisions that he wouldn’t regret, but that’ll give him a headache later on regardless.

Yuanjun is the type of headache that he doesn’t want to have any time soon. Pretty boy, of course. With a beautiful face and personality that was nothing but exciting. For a while. And only after their disastrous break-up that he started seeing how entertaining the younger could be. That’s why he kept going back, and despite not having overlapping schedules a lot, luckily for him, they were in the same event now. He slides towards Yuanjun, passing through people smoothly as he settles beside the Charm member, mocking smile clear in his expression, as always. “Look who we have here. Hello, pretty boy, long time no see, my dear.”

yuanjun had been having a good time, a great time even. there had been some drinking, some other questionable decision making and generally everything that made a party a good party, something he didn’t get to indulge in all that often in day to day life. he had felt on top of the world really, invincible even, a feeling that unfortunately didn’t get to last. wooram slid up next to him before yuanjun could even realize what happened, hearing his voice before seeing him and just the sound was enough to make the younger’s blood run cold, broad smile on his face dying down like a flame extinguished until there was only an icy grimace left on his features.

“don’t-” he spat out defensively, the use of petnames making the hairs at the back of his neck stand up straight. “you’ve long since lost the right to call me any of those things. save them for whoever else’s heart you’re currently playing with.”  once upon a time, yuanjun hadn’t been able to get enough of them, could listen to call wooram call him the sweetest things all day long. but they were no longer sweet, at this point they were patronizing and degrading, sending cold shivers down yuanjun’s spine. “what is it you want from me? why now? have you not bothered me enough yet.” his hands curled into fists by his side, crushing the empty plastic cup he had been holding. “it’s kind of ironic really, nowadays you’re around more than when you were supposed to be my actual boyfriend. where were you when i actually needed you huh?” a moment of tense silence, a rethoric question. “oh that’s right. fucking other people. so get the hell out of my face, i don’t need this. i don’t need you.”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

fmdhyunsoo​:

hyunsoo could only snort in response. “well, i can’t argue with that, you are very cute” he replied, focusing his attention mostly at the sewing he was doing. cute was something that hyunsoo never really associated with himself to begin with, only being described as cute by his family when he was younger due to him being the baby of the family and, now, it mostly came from the fans and yuanjun. otherwise, people often assumed he was intimidating and unfriendly thanks to how quiet he could be. so, it made sense that yuanjun was a lot cute than him because, in hyunsoo’s eyes, he was. there wasn’t really a day that went by where hyunsoo wasn’t cooing over his boyfriend, whether it be in the mornings or evenings when he was sleepy and extra cuddly, or when yuanjun’s eyes sparkled as he told hyunsoo something he was passionate about. still, he had to give yuanjun a piece of reality. “but it looks like hyemin noona will be committing crimes, then.”

it was sweet seeing how excited yuanjun was, though. it also made hyunsoo wonder about the future - if yuanjun was this excited about a niece or nephew, he could only imagine how excited yuanjun would be in the future if they ever ended up with children of their own. he knew that if it were to happen, it would definitely not be happening any time soon, but the thought put a small smile on his face regardless. turning his attention back to yuanjun, he let out a soft laugh at how the other stole a few extra kisses, which hyunsoo definitely wasn’t complaining about. “very true, you’re always trying dumb things,” he smiled, allowing himself to be pulled closer, “and so very humble too, clearly.” ah, but of course, yuanjun’s proposition wasn’t a surprise to hyunsoo either. “you and i know full well that five minutes will turn into ten, and ten will turn into half an hour, and we’ll end up forgetting about the plushie,” hyunsoo replied, not without leaning over to finish his sentence with a kiss to yuanjun’s lips. 

yuanjun beamed broadly at the praise. sure, he had kind of complimented himself first but he wasn’t going to let that undermine the fact that he sure did like it whenever hyunsoo complimented him. yuanjun had never had a lack of confidence but he also had an undying need for attention and affection and his boyfriend did feed into that incredibly well. “i like it when you call me cute.” he smiled broadly, carefully finishing up the piece of fabric he had been cutting out before leaning over to place a soft kiss to hyunsoo’s cheek as he added the pannel to the pile that hyunsoo had yet to show together. his giddy expression, however, quickly changed into a pout at his boyfriend’s next words. “outrageous! how dare she!” he puffed out his cheeks. “your sister is a whole criminal! how are you so calm about this blasphemy, the higest form of treason!” 

it was very simple really, xiao yuanjun just had a lot of love to give, to his friends, to hyunsoo, to his (admittedly small) family and now, by extensions, also to hyunsoo’s family. so an addition to that had him absolutely giddy with joy, a new person to share his love with, a very very tiny person even! it wasn’t something he had discussed with hyunsoo yet, far too soon and nowhere near relevant yet but yuanjun knew one thing for sure, all he wanted was a little fmily of his own one thing. “well you know what they say. don’t knock it till you try it.” he laughed quietly, no need for the sound to be any closer with how close hyunsoo was at this point. “that is very true, i see your point but-” one hand tangling in the front of hyunsoo’s shirt to keep him close, the other gently pushing his hands down to signal him to put his handiwork down on the table. “-but, the baby won’t be born for another few months anyway. surely they won’t mind if we finish this tomorrow rather than today.” and with that, he sealed their lips together for a long, drawn-out kiss.

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

jihanfmd​:

Jihae didn’t even bother to suppress their snort but in a faint attempt at being respectful towards Kim Byungchul, father of 50% of all evil in the industry they were aware of, they did try to mask their laugh behind a hand. “Just watch out, one day you’ll suddenly be running BC without even noticing it,” they mused and tugged absent-mindedly at the collar of their shirt.

“Ankle? Brave.” Jihae had heard a bunch of horror stories about ankle tattoos, the most recent one coming from their little sister. “Think you’re gonna need to hold hands through the pain? As in, genuinely. Heard that stuff hurts quite a bit.” Being asked about their own collection of tattoos their eyes almost automatically flitted to whatever ink was visible from underneath their tee sleeves. “I- uh. I think it’s… my sixth? Seventh? I’ve had them all for a while now, it’s gotten to a point where I sometimes forget they’re there if I can’t see them.” They shrugged. “Depends on what you count as a separate tattoo, too. But I think I’ve been pretty tame so far.”

That was a lie, particularly for someone who had to still perform on music shows and have their ink covered up for drama shoots but then again, Jihae still talked frequently to their childhood friends back home and knew of quite a few people who had accumulated more than them. “Thought you were more the type to appreciate rather to get them yourself, or do I remember that wrong?” Jihae shuffled on their seat, their fingers coming down to drum gently against the three whales on the inside of their wrist. “I get matching with Hyunsoo, though. That’s cute.”

yuanjun grinned in amusement. "honestely, i doubt i’m the ceo type but if it is to stick it to kim byungchul, i will make that sacrifice.” he puffed out his chest proudly like it was some big achievement. “i might not have anything to say within bc but i sure as hell can be a major nuisance and isn’t that what truly matters?”

truth be told, yuanjun had not actually considered the placement of his tattoo and how much it would possibly hurt, which probably was a very yuanjun thing to not take into consideration. instead, he went in blind, if it hurt, it would hurt and then it’d be over, no use in sweating it. “i’m a big boy, i can take it.” squaring his shoulders briefly before laughing. “no, but really, i got this. it’s just a small tattoo anyway and well, if i am a baby about it you’re free to laugh at me and film it, use it as blackmail material or something.” 

over the years, he had seen all of jihae’s tattoos at some point sooner or later, slowly watching their little collection expand. “they’re cool though, i like your tattoos, they suit you.” he nodded lightly. “you’re right, i didn’t really use to think they were for me personally.” it was something yuanjun had often said when admiring one of their tattoos. “but i guess it kind of boiled down to me not knowing a whole lot about it. i always thought of big, dark toned pieces whenever i thought about tattoos. those aren’t really for me, but i like small stuff, colorful stuff. took a while to realize that was an option i guess.” he beamed at their comment, turning his arm to look at the little key tattoo just below the crook of his elbow. “thanks, heh, i like it a lot,  even if it had to be really small, not attracting any attention and all that.”