after his first quartet of knocks goes unanswered, daesung decides to let himself in. the ease with which heโs able to causes concern to flare, but he decides not to nag for now; he isnโt here to be a nuisance, heโs here to remind chani that a world still exists beyond the four walls heโs trapped in.ย โiโm not sure why iโm here either,โ he shrugs, putting on a half-smile.ย โlast thing i remember is being in kansasย โ a strong breeze caught me off guard and next thing i knew, i was outside your door. crazy, right?โ as soon as heโs done talking, he realizes how loud his voice had been; itโs nothing new, but now the tired look on chaniโs face makes him feel guilty. when he speaks againโserious this timeโhe makes a conscious effort to soften his tone.
โof course iโm here to see you. maybe i shouldโve texted first, though.โ questioning look aimed at chani seems to ask for confirmation or denial, but it doesnโt really matter; heโs here now and he doesnโt plan on leaving so soon. he steps further into the room, appears to contemplate stealing the newly-freed space on the couch before chani can decide to lie down again, but he stays standing instead. โyou look like youโve been working hard. how long have you been cooped up in here?โ
the brittle grin that he offers daesung is like a thick layer of paint over a canvas, it cracks into something crooked and webbed in nature when the jokes roll in like punches. his grin reaches his eyes in shades of red and orange like a flame that flickers, in the corners of his lips like blue thatโs faded over time and chipped away. itโs in the colors of him, the way his teasing nature becomes a faded rainbow in the sky after the rain, a sad illusion that holds up just barely beneath the light of the sun. daesungโs voice amplifying in volume isnโt as disagreeable when chani is used to it. his smile compensates for that too, tweaking the colors that make him up until theyโre receptively warm toned.ย โif strong breezes are carrying you to me of all people, you might have bad karma.โ his smirk fades at the pillow soft approach that follows and itโs some conjecture on his part that daesung was being careful with him. itโs in the uncertainty and way he reels himself in, and the way their colors mix so gingerly for once.ย โyou donโt have to warn me about anything. itโs alright,โ he waves it with his hand and then props both forearms on his knees.ย โeh, hard work is all i know how to do.โ a familiar dismissal,ย โlong enough. i guess enough time that people are coming to look for me.โ wry but content at the thought that someone who wasnโt his best friend would care at all. he doesnโt look at daesung for a moment, peering down at his palms between his knees instead.
โsometimes,โ he discard his thoughts like a wild card, on the table face up for daesung to play it however he liked,ย โi forget people realize i exist.โ he chuckles,ย โiโm used to taking care of things alone. now that my album is on the way, itโs not like i have anything else to do โ iโll be honest, i probably wonโt be doing anything but this for a while.โ the words are afflicted with the same pillow softness daesung introduced earlier, effecting chani right back. he looks up at daesung before he speaks again,ย โthank you for checking on me.โ and without allowing himself time for overthinking, he pardons,ย โdo you want to stay for a while? havenโt seen anyone but you in a while, so itโll be good; a nice change.โย
minimal textures โ the conceptual lines that surround the outlines of the track. gyujeong makes a quick beeline in hands with the mouse, a straight click to record. warm-ups in theoretical plays come as the first few runs of the a-flat key progression, and it hits that a reiteration of it all plays what slots into the vision in his mind.
โminimal texture, minimal sound. might make it better if we add in a few orchestral touches? sounds of cellos added in โ the classic niche that contrasts with the bite of the first verse hits.โ the metronome clicks of logic hit in sync with the first few trills, and when the juxtaposition of it all falls into place, gyujeong leans back, fingers far from the keys onto the mouse to press pause. it all slowly transitions when his fingers lock behind his head, cushioning it into place, eyes darted for the corner of the room in a blank stare โ mind full, thoughts heavy. heโs still onto to the tabula rosa of the drawing board.
the trickles of chaniโs voice comes one by one, piece by piece. it adds layers, fills in the gaps of details where his thoughts come to that full-on halt. time-pieced layers: the implications where the stops come with the inlay of the percussion (his hands already flit from the tufts of his own hair back onto the mouse).ย โweโll do better adding just a simple baseline, drumline to the back โ a few ad-libs? where you can just do theย โwoo-hoosโ to layer on.โย
his fingers sift through the mangled drawer of stuff, unorganized just piled in. the eyes drift back down, pinpointing to the mic โ tangled wires and all to pull out, plug into the computer.ย โcan i get a few ad-libs?โ he mumbles past the secondary clicks when he finally tilts his gaze over.ย โi donโt think weโll need samples for this โ that shitโs for the sellouts who canโt manage to write their own shit. sampling just means a right to a plagiarism fiasco, and iโll be damned if we donโt have enough creativity to bypass that.โ
theoretical options come to mind, orchestral touches suits the image of gyu that chani holds near and dear, an image not everyone had the privevelge to see. yet that image was still there, genuine and present for anyone who had enough candidness to search for it. something about it echoโs the song. gyuโs natural energy is always there, vibrating at a frequency that chani finds clear to spot and hear, just as the song has a natural ingenuity, orchestral steadiness and sincerity. but sometimes, it seems like people only hear what the want to hear. missing even things that are obvious, or buried back down.ย
โitโll add some ingenuity,ย diversity next to the gimmicks and compliments, car sounds and shit.โ he stares at the mesmerizing metronome with his head nodding to the beat and eyes searching the room. visually searching while his mind roams.ย โthe adlibs are the fun part, so i can come up with a few variations.โ he breaks his wandering emptiness to focus on what gyuโs hands are doing and only realizes heโs being put on the spot when he is. a grab of the mic without hesitating, he pauses with it in his hand giving in with gyuโs sentiment with dissent, acknowledging the reasoning. the adlibs he spits out are easy going, the woo-hooโs, some heyโs, oohs and rolls of his tongue to mimic the beat. he puts focus onto variation, influxes of tone that make less difference when he knows theyโll likely be edited or pitched differently in post once they have more finality to the track. but giving them the best base he can is his job.ย
โwe can also mix up texture by editing the delivery of lines on the album vocals as well. filter and remix the delivery of key words. on stage the delivery will be straight forward anyway.โ with that heโs struck with another inspiration and records a skrrrt with a few variations to add in later.ย โi can add more as we go.ย
๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ 618w.
dorms makes pretty convincing jailcells.
๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐น๐ early 2014, pre-wyd era, chani canโt sleep.
the deliverance of daylight had yet to break upon his room, so his eyes open to a sheer darkness. not pitch black, but encased in dark gray, like a world washed of color, scrubbed of recognizable detail. his stomach aches in his bed from the food he made for himself hours before, his first attempt at cooking that hadnโt gone well. rolling out from beneath the covers he slides on his slippers and leaves his room into the much cooler, empty and open living room. he never enters it unless his other members are sleeping or absent, otherwise risk communication or worse and more likely, an argument.
he stomps to the fridge knowing no one would wake, pours himself and downs a glass while standing in front of the open door. the blast from the freeze burns goosebumps over his skin, clammy from his sickness and catching the chill like a sponge. he lays his head against the door seal and stands there to indulge himself. though heโs sweating, he felt cold even without the added temperate conditions.ย
chani thinks for a long time about how his mother never cooked meals. if she had, he could no longer recall, a relic lost to the riddles of time and the covering instincts of indifference. the lack of loving need to retaliate against fading memories. what was there to hold onto? his motherโs voice on the phone still sticks to him, but the rest is gone.
holidays in america were the most they met for long periods at a time, when his aunt and uncle would take control of the event, the food, the decor. and his father would fly from korea to see he and his mother, their family meetings turned into bedlam.ย
he doesnโt remember the taste of food, or the conversations about what would be had for dessert on the special occasions that himchan was home from school.
all he recalled was his mother questioning what degree he would go into one day, whether he was passing, and most importantly, what was his extracurricular plans for the future. his father stayed out of it.
he pulls back and shuts the door of the fridge at his dorm and looks around. another dorm. sometimes heโs hit with deja vu. interior is different, the emotions are much different here, more people sharing small areas, but the setting was the same.
the location was different. though he felt the same amount as at home as he had in america. which is very little, it made no difference.
the tenants he shared with were different than his school mates in america. it was worse here. and there was less escape. no field to go lay in the grass and stare at the sky. no students beyond the walls that he could sit near and ask what they were up and in to. the micros of his world were vastly different, but the macro was the same.
just like how he ended up making himself sick with food poisoning.
the amount of times he hadnโt eaten well enough when he was in his middle school dorms, eating too much junk food until he felt sick so he could stay up all night.ย
this dorm was infinitely worse.
this dream he chased right into a a hole, 4 corners with no exit that would bring safety. no space standing inside that would bring comfort. no where to stand or sleep, relax or play, that felt right.
just the feeling of wondering when he would be able to leave and go home.
even while he was already in his home for now.
and even when there was really no home to go back to.
laughter, itโs the only way he knows how to handle chaniโs humor. maestro wraps him around to the first taste of unrestraint freedom โ bc letting him off the hinges into the first taste of creative ties.
gyujeong plays laughter through the run-down of the keys, factoring in the words thrown. revving up the engine comes as a haunting pattern of the keys, hitting the flat keys, one after another in a shrill down and punched to baseline with his left handing hovering still upon two notes.ย โi want a prelude โ influenced by something mozart did in his earlier days.โ emptying his thoughts, he does it out loud. itโs all the creative process of mixing and matching ideas, a beeline to the process โ chani gets it better than most do.
in comes the trail of keys, the notes drawing onto the blank canvas of a race. empty play to the start of the track comes in empty frills, staccato keys in motion before the slur of it brings the last few fragments of the melody together. he pauses, composing the bars in frame with the track โ waits, as his head tills back to chaniโs gaze.ย โkeep it with the piano, weโll add the prelude. race track idea, but at the mark of a shot fired to start as our flow hits, what if we just let the notes cease? keep the synth to drag it on where thereโs more focus on the lyrics?โ repetition: he plays the piano, plays by example as his voice stamps right in tandem with the notes. where thereโs a halt, his voice raps on.ย
โthis kind of thing, but iโm thinking a flat minor โ the c major.โ gyujeong shakes his head, keeps it still when he tilts to the left.ย โsounds too happy for the fucks we donโt give.โ
chani stands up like in a heave of motion so he can pace while they address the rest of the song. feeling it out while on the move is the way the song calls to him. he listens to gyuโs unloaded creativity with nods and pouting lips in concentration and positive indication that heโs following along.ย โit makes sense, we can suck out the sound, like windows up, everything outside is muted. just add in minimal texture. we can roll the windows down. unlike shitty rappers, you donโt need to hide behind overproduction to make your bars flow. we can just prop them up by the time the hook hits. throw in some percussions and hit let the wind whip in, bring some life.โ
their collaborative notions are picking up that easy rhythm, the effort of two people who understood each other without words. the track, the more chani thinks of it, has a distinct feeling that suits the both of them. without much vesper to distract, simple and clean, with a beat that doesnโt stop once it starts, consistent. no bullshit. he helpfully inlays the verse over gyuโs tandem piano keys and agrees with a jerk of his head after.ย โyouโre right, drop it. and we can turn that concept up, heighten it if we distort it, the same way they all try to change up their speed the second theyโre called out for their bullshit. imitation or changing up their tune, the usual shit. bury the beat or distort the piano, keep it consistent, but still mix it up? rather than losing the essence like some fakers do, their labels bitch. itโs like that concept but hyperbolized, and itโll keep the track consistent โ keep that car on the track.โ gyuโs incredibly authentic in an industry full of rappers who do concepts night and day from their groups, or who suddenly chase trends that are so different from the same things they claimed was their sound. thereโs mixing it up, and then thereโs being a bitch.ย โwhat about samples?โ he throws the thought,ย โthereโs probably some thematic samples. you think thatโs too literal, orโ ?
* /ย ย ย ย ย PLAYLIST โย ย / ย
โซ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ฒ๐ฑ
๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก.๐ผ๐ป โข 12 ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ด๐, 42 ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐๐๐ฒ๐ย
๐๐๐บ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐: smile again
playlist: a playlist chani created on his phone to drive the roads with a friend who called him suddenly needing someone on his side. chani created the playlist while driving lol (please donโt use your phone when youโre driving :D) and itโs mostly songs he thought would be easy to listen to, help his friend relax, and create a wholehearted environment. chaniโs never before made a playlist for another person, despite being a chronic playlist maker... so heโll later be relentlessly clowned for this playlist if itโs ever found (an act out of character).ย
aesthetic: the plan chani made was to pick his friend up from wherever required, and just take him away. see the world and get some fresh air, talk it out and make everything a little better. going for a drive is something chani often does to clear his head, so he dared to be that person for someone else for once. @fmdalex featured. โ
a playlist to make you smile againย /ย (( ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ถ๐ฐ + ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐๐น๐ถ๐๐ ))ย ย /ย 7 songs listed
A BOOK OF LOVEย โย HA HYUNSANG
maybe you try
maybe you cry
maybe it hurts
all of this are temporary
we'll be alright
U OK ?ย โ ย JIMMY BROWN
so that memories arenโt found
so that nothing breaks
so thereโs no bad thoughts
iโll protect everything here
when you suddenly come to mind
that time becomes my day
DAYDREAM ย โย JOOYOUNG
with you next to me
and the sunlight, i melt
when i wake up
with you here
iโm escaping reality
you got me daydreaming to dawn
NONEย ย โย CRUSH
yeah, iโm a fool
beyond expression
when iโm in the dark
you brighten my life...
IF YOU CANโT FALL ASLEEP ย โย FR:EDEN
to my melody
i want you to lean on me
if you can't sleep, come to me.
if you can't sleep
plug your your earphones in
if my song comforts you
if you find me at this dawn
POOL ย โย WOODZ, SUMIN
you lie next to me again and turn on the music
it feels like iโm feel like iโm in heaven
anywhere (nowhere)
itโs like the meaning of my happiness is you
i think thereโs no bigger gift than you...
BY MY SIDE ย โย JUNNY
yes i am the same as you
if this indifferent word
i have everything i need
just know you're a part of me
๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป w, 1132 without song lyrics.
chaniโs conscripted for a song for a person he loves, about a subject that makes him want to pull his hair out. uh, he makes the most of it? sort of.
๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐น๐ for 210331, โ42=โ, partial verifications for jaeinโs โ42=โ. partial lyric + partial production.
thereโs notes in the metaphorical margins of the track when it comes to him, in pieces, mostlyย picasso-esque in make and loaded with instructions. he had heard about jaeinโs album releasing from multiple origins, the girl herself and a few producers he knew who were working on it. he had gotten that news from them after hearing it from jaein โ yes maybe while asking around for his own information not because they volunteered it.
the song has preparation to suit her album already from the layered early demo sounds and raw early draft of vocals that jaein had recorded for this purpose. in an early alpha stage, he can already tell he hates it. the guidance dimensions and contracted producers and composers jotted in was that her album had a sensual appeal, with a flirty vibe that would suit jaeinโs vocal tone. chani agrees, nearly. jaein does have a clear tone that caries love songs well, but this song is requiring โhe double checks it just to make sure itโs right, and sighs โ being torn between two people.
he listens to the early tread of the track three times over before he starts to work, dreading but anticipating fixing it. the first trouble is that itโs too plain. the song is spacious and chani agrees with that decision, a spacious sound fits with jaeinโs vocals, not like singing in a stairwell, her voice is fluid like the wind, so he notes that a mid-tempo, roomy track that isnโt overproduced would be good.ย
it just needs more. a song about an indecisive love, being unable to read your own or other peoples feelings canโt feel stale or incomplete. chani bounces his knee beneath his desk while inserting sound samples that can liven and mix up the track.ย
he lays in an intro at the start of the track just to set the tone as the label insists, using his electric keyboard set to an invigorating sound. he initially plays with the style until he settles on one similar to ray manzarek style, and plays it simple. a 1-hit, 2-hit, 3-hit melody to walk the listener into the track, into the mood, to tease them along. the piano keys alone, with their riders on the storm sound, arenโt enough, so he tweaks it some hours later using his synthesizer and edits static at the end as if they were cut off early, after changing the channel. it helps with the feeling of stringing the listener along, keeping them guessing in a fun and flirty way, as well as enforcing the (frankly preposterous) storyline ofย โchangingโ love interests.
did they know jaein at all? he could laugh.
he rolls his eyes and his mouse clicks are harder and louder as he continues. the melody that came to him mostly completed needs more. after thinking for a long time about jaein, he layers in many stock sounds and samples used in house or synth pop in order to keep a fun feeling. cheers, clicks and to top it off, he picks up his guitar to freshen up the lead guitar beat. it needs to have a subtle but undeniable presence. he hits cords that remain only 1 to 3 cords lower than jaeinโs natural range, so it will enforce and strengthen her presence on the track, and act as a secondary set of vocals in a way of mimicry. it deviates only around the chorus and after the bridge.
he handles the lyrics meshed between updating her backtrack and altering the production to be fresher, like he thinks they intended for her. chani canโt get over just how much he doesnโt enjoy this concept for jaein, but he doesnโt bother her with that detail while texting her his thoughts part way through the process.
the lyrics in the initial inscription of the song, and the raw humming in place of where they had failed to come up with lyrics, he gets to work on those.
it takes a bottle of soju to get it done in a large chunk one night.
jaeinโs song about being infatuated with 2 people and unable to choose. he hates it so much he envisions heโs only one side of the equation so he can focus enough to write. he focuses on what he likes about the song, jaeinโs vocals, about love. chani watches the blinking cursor text bar on his screen as he thinks about what jaein would be like in love.
the first lines are out of context but still feel right when he sings them back to himself.
i donโt know how i feel
what should i do?
he can already hear it from jaeinโs voice in his head, modified though it is, he canโt wait to hear her singing it later. he thinks of how to keep this song flirty and completely removed from the jaein he knows, without erasing her entirely.
maybe if he plays up the aspect of uncertainty. first meeting, what to do, how to proceed. ignoring the romantic aspect, all of that still seems like the 10 year girl, friend, he knew.
i donโt know whatโs between us
somehow, i think iโve come to like it
jaein, and the imaginary storyline that jaein would never find herself in, he smiles thinking of a flustered situation where she would confess. it comes to mind for a closing bridge as he tweaks the final chords at the end of the track using guitar to pluck an almost superstitious guitar melody that tends to get shy and disappear when he lays her voice track layer above it, quiets to let her have the stage.
the last thing chani wants to do, is bury jaein in this track.
what should i do
i canโt get the words out of my mouth
i think iโm gonna regret it even more
if the girl in the song had a love she wasnโt completely sure of, itโs a line that only makes sense. wondering if youโll regret it. missed chances, especially when you chose to focus on the wrong thing. the song lyrics are sad to chani, though the smooth and fun melody, combined with jaeinโs sunlit voice are anything but that.
when he began tweaking and refining the song, it was difficult to see jaein in it. if chani was truthful he still has difficulties, but her voice, familiar and radiant, brings a gentle light to the song. though the subject matter makes him itch uncomfortably, when hearing the updated recorded audio, months later, he receives a strange comfort from it. hearing her singing the words he wrote.
the lyrics come out in patches, and chani becomes thankful he wasnโt instructed to write the entire thing alone, otherwise it would have come out to finish a different song entirely. one with less sexy uncertainty and more vivid clarity. it does however make chani think of what would happen if he wrote a proper song, start to finish, for her.
one without limitations, instructions for a storyline that didnโt make sense to him.
the time has come, itโs the middle of 2015, the last major news about alien was that they were suing their company and nothing much else. you turn on the tv to the unprompted, barely preannounced alien comeback, nearly a full year since the last one. the sound, vibe, styling is complete different to usual, especially to their last title track. as for chani, if heโs your bias, go ahead and turn it now. heโs in the music video for a total of 1 and a half close ups, for a total of 6 seconds. they didnโt even show his face during his rap part.ย
if youโre chani, you just leave the waiting room when your own song comes on the tv because you donโt want to hear it and instead, go sleep for 13 hours until you have another performance tomorrow.
as stated, trespass, the first major release from alien under the label dimensions which theyโre still under (because the company swept the lawsuit under the rug with a quick settlement and a promise to do better next time ig) has released and boy itโs not good. chani hates it.
a song produced by several people, with lyrics written by a popular rapper in the hiphop circles, it isnโt that the lyrics are bad itโs that all of it is.
chani was quickly informed when dimensions announced to them their comeback at a meeting, that not only would he not be producing this track or entire album, as he had in the past, and he lost a piece of himself. when his lyrics were regularly overthrown for the song they eventually decided for the title, not even making it into the final draft so that not even his own verse was his own, chani had a sinking feeling that his life and future in dimensions was about to be a downward spiral.
itโs a reasonable concern when filming day turns up and the style is somewhat suitable to the early debut style of alien, but the sound is nothing alike. and nothing feels the same.
much to his dismay, when the music video is released, chani is informed heโs hardly in it and thatโs an understatement. heโs notably only present for 1 scene, and 1 quick flash. itโs disappointing.
itโs a precedent that he will follow for the rest of his time in dimensions up until current day as iโm writing this, in feb 2021.
trespass was the beginning, the green light, on many unhealthy habits chani would adopt after the sudden revocation of many of his usual creative rights within his group, and the quickly changing style and overall vibe of the group he helped to shape, into one that didnโt feel like his own.
the trespass stages and styling were considerably cheaper and smaller than even alienโs debut stage. his own time on the comeback tracks for their first post lawsuit was minimal at best, and his stage present was just as lacking.
his head wasnโt in it on performances of this era, no doubt fancams too. lots of negative traction around himself and his group and he only proceeded to make it worse in 2015.ย
trespass still marks the start of alien as chani began to see it, not his alien but something different, and it still is the song from his group he dislikes the most among all alien track post lawsuit.
thatโs neither surprising nor is it a novelty. hwan has those often, or at the very least several bad moments through the days โ as most people are prone to, really. he crashes harder than most people, though, as itโs just part of being someone living with a level of addiction thatโs only been treated for a short time. some days, joohwan canโt be left alone to his thoughts for too long, lest they carry him to the dangerous corners of his mind. heโs never at risk of doing something too harsh, but several times he had considered buying alcohol and indulging in it, trusting himself to stop even if heโs been sober for almost a year.
itโs one of the very few days heโs getting off for some months, what with the tour. he should be happy to be home but without andy around it doesnโt quite feel like home. the animals are a great company but they serve as limited distraction and nothing he attempts to engage with is capturing his attention for too long. so hwan had asked the person to come over. heโs just looking for a distraction โ any type of it โ to the point where heโs eager to open the door when the doorbell rings. โhi,โ he greets them neutral faced. โthanks for coming.โ
โhey,โ itโs conjectural, with a breeze to it that flutters about and seems unhurried. unlike the quality of his thoughts.ย โno problem. to be honest, iโve been meaning to meet again.โ
itโs a sequence of events he doesnโt discern entirely for reason, for why he had somehow seen andy more times than joohwan since the three of them met. and andy, it had been skimmed, fathomably simple and concise, the effortless float like leaves that kept them far apart but in harmony. joohwan, chani recognized was a busier person, and one he might have less in common with. but it had been winsome if curious to hear from joohwan at all. copacetic smirks on his lips as he concludes himself across from the man he hadnโt seen in an extension of time, attempting to appear more comfortable than heโs sure how to act. the charm he might usually gravel in, is dulled. itโs not clear and they donโt know each other well enough for him to say, but instinct tells him it wouldnโt entirely the catch up he thought it would be.
the pinlight of his smile might be dim but it is sincere,ย โall the times iโve seen you, i donโt think weโve ever properly eaten togetherโ his hands are in his coat pockets and his hair pushed back under a beanie, he seems ready to spend the night in and settle down with joohwan if heโs allowed.ย โdo you know how to cook?โ and after a meal, perhaps then, they can talk. chani can feel thereโs a weight that needs unloading, but he isnโt comfortable enough with joohwan to start that conversation without guidance. maybe theyโll talk about it while cooking instead. chaniโs thoughts move quickly with possibilities and he bounces his knee as he waits for his answer.
the rebound of the basketball drilling beneath his palm parrots through the open outside air, gritty on the ground, warm against his skin. andy is across from him, but they slowed down to reset between shooting lay ups and getting a tone overly rough for what was going to be a friendly game. itโs necessary for chani to sometimes reflect and reset, relax, drop his heart rate back down to normal. with the latency of his easygoing smile gratifying his mood, he wipes the sweat from his brow, bouncing the ball across the asphalt to andy.
in the humidity, small insects take a swim around the lamp that illuminates the modest sized, fenced in court, black sky above with no stars or clouds to spoil it. watching andy with the ball now that itโs no longer in his hands, it feels symbolic. the passing of it represents more than just a ball, or even a game. their evolution from whatever they were before to potential friends wasnโt markedly on his mind, but it was in the aforementioned air.ย โso just how good are you at basketball anyway?โ they hadnโt been at it together for long โ but enough for an idea. the question is a clear provocation, and his smirk is the elbow to rib,ย โi thought you were really good? heard you were even on some league. so are you taking it easy on me, or what?โ
composition verification / starter for @fmdhimchan
โbefore you give me shit โ yes, pianoโs my forte.โ it comes out sheepish and all when he hides back to the screen, shoulders squared towards logic already pulled up on the computer.
he continues on the classical rifts, starting from the high octaves that slowly draw back to the lower tones of the piano. a mindless tune, yet itโs nothing different than the conspicuous patterns they always fall back into. today, itโs a switch back from the key smashes of league and the grittiness that lies on tongue in lieu for a new beat.ย
he waits, pauses. runs his fingers through his hair when the lyrics written nights before become engrained into his head.ย โthe idea is โ you have a steady piano beat, a mimicry of racing. let it fall in tandem with the fast punches of the first verse and into the second.โ gyujeong begins, pencil shoved between his lips in a quick run-down of the general gist of all that formulated inside his head.ย โlike the feeling of having someone feel like theyโre on their toes when the first few seconds of the song hits.โย
it doesnโt take much, just incoherent abstracts to relay the shared space. when cacophony mixes together and a friendship so solidified in the ground โ itโs a secret language exchanged between the two. code talk and quick smirks, he flashes a glance towards chani.ย โany input? any chords you think would fit?โย
he hacks up a chuckle, a laugh that he canโt help, and he canโt deny the truth.ย โi wasnโt going to,โ the smirk he draws up pings between his lips like the tune gyu plays out on the keys,ย โyouโre the maestro after all.โ in reference to the track chani had heard pieces of from gyuโs upcoming album.ย
it sparks the thought of his album, maestroโs and this piece theyโre putting their thick skulls together to make. he follows along with what gyu says like itโs an easy beat, nodding on each 4th note. the melody pauses and chani takes the time to think.ย โso in that case, ease them into it with that forte of yours; the piano like the revving engine,โ he can imagine the beat beneath the lyrics they worked together on, like a race track he also couldnโt get it out of his mind, around in circles, โpiano keys to bring in the first verse. drop in the bars of the verse before the first beat switch, that way they feel like theyโre really caught off guard. like all that revving suddenly, you lift the peddle then off you go.โ
he took it a little far but the metaphor sticks. one good thing about their friendship was their ability to understand each other.ย โthe first bars while the engine is still running, then, drop in your high hats, but i think we should take it slow? not too many instruments all at once. really take our time with it.โ
gyuโs question makes him think and he eventually summons the quiet answer,ย โyeah, keep it in c, somewhere in the middle, you know. not too high, not too low, so you donโt know what to expect?โ he trusts gyuโs hands on the keyboard more than his own, and thatโs saying something. heโs sure the chords will find their way if they work together.
slouched across his producer couch, the look he pitches to the sudden appearance of daesung at his tenement isย monotonous. with a gaze thatโs settled over top of the bass guitar laying on his chest, sprawled out like heโs laying in his bed, culling the strings with a melody he plans to use in the future. he stops plucking, half asleep and staring at the ceiling only to note he isnโt alone.
โoh, sup.โ he pinches cords to make one low, rumbling vibration he can feel in his chest. his tone says he doesnโt really want to talk, but heโs not in a bad mood. he canโt remember the last time he saw daesung but as it hits him itโs been too long, his lips twinge into an awkward smile, streaking across his lips in a jagged, dull color that catches his gaze alight.ย โwhat you doin here? youโre a long way from home.โ he sits up enough to stow his heavy instrument on the stand next to his couch and groans when he does, from recently unused muscles and atrophied posture.ย โdonโt tell me โ did you come to see me?โ he teases but the energy isnโt in it. itโs no surprise from his dark circles and if you know him at all, but he hadnโt slept much lately.
chani is strong and sharp, reliable, in essence heโs impossible to ignore. hot and cold at first glance, you only begin to see the patterns and feel the right temperature when you get used to him, as you do with any extreme temps. this is an effort to show who chani is in a feeling, aesthetic, or concept.ย
a follow up, the chani version of the borrowed hc idea i was inspired by demi for so ty demi for pioneering. @fmdjeonghwa ty :)
beanies, hats, headbands to hide your unwashed hair. pushing a hand through it to hold it back then throwing a beanie over it.
boots, loosely laced all the way up.
moving when youโre thinking or idle in order to have something to do.
water gently rolling through the filtration system of a fish tank. the tinkling of it hitting the surface, and the hum of the motor.
cracking dry pasta in half before putting it in a pot.
when a thought consumes you so that you canโt sleep, and you have to get up and do something about it. the urge to write, watch or do it before you forget.
the pulsating hum you can hear with your hands cupped over your ears, the blood singing, the life in you.
pulling someone into your lap. the weight of them atop your legs.
foggy, damp mornings at 6am when it rained the previous night.
sharing your food with someone even when you really wanted all of it, just because you like them that much.
marking out something and having to look back at the mistake as a black mark.
linens fresh out of a dryer. the heat and static in your hands and calming scent.
saving something right before it falls, catching it at the last second.
laughing behind your hand or hiding your face, turning to the side so no one can see you smile.
everything having a place.
cursing under your breath when you mess something up.
pacing the floor in thought, dragging your feet when you do it.
that white noise ringing in your ear when you stand too fast or stretch too hard.
coloring perfectly within the lines.
melting into a hug or kiss, the way the body goes limber, leaning in with full intent and surrendering to that feeling.
when someone remembers something you said a long time ago.
standing in the shower in the steam and heat. the sluggish feeling of washing yourself with your eyes closed in the mornings because youโre too tired to open them.
feeling so angry or disappointed you become numb.
a blue switch keyboard.
windows fogging up from the heat inside when itโs cold outside.
an oversized cotton t-shirt, many sizes too big that swallows you.
carrying or helping someone to bed, taking off the shoes or socks, tucking the blanket around them, looking at them one last time before you leave.
the sound of ice falling through an ice maker.
the feeling of โknowing someone better than thatโ.
a perfectly folded stack of blankets.
hearing someone laugh for the first time in a long time. watching the way it lights up on their face and cherishing it for being rare.
peeling off masking tape to see perfect lines after painting.
when you message someone for the first time in a long time but expectedly receive an answer quickly.
a weighted blanket.
remembering exactly where you put something and itโs actually there.
food so hot itโs still steaming, but you bite it anyway and burn your tongue. the way you can feel it and regret that decision for days after.
shades of gray, black and taupe.
geometric shapes that perfectly fold into each other.
the mechanical click a piano key makes beneath the layered melody.
wet gardening foam and the way it flakes apart and melts like snow beneath any pressure.
feeling or seeing someone shiver as a result of something you did.ย
a bathtub half full with steaming hot water, the way it rises to the top when you sink in.
laying on a cold ground when youโre overheated and pressing your cheek to the floor and feeling it sap the warmth away.
* /ย ย ย ย ย PLAYLIST โย ย / ย
โซ .001%
๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก.๐ผ๐ป โข 9 ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ด๐, 30 ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐๐๐ฒ๐ย
๐๐๐บ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐: whatever...
a playlist consisting of all of the songโs chani didnโt produce but that he actually liked. through out alienโs history, chani has always at the very least written his own lyrics, but after the lawsuit there was almost no songs he produced. during this time, he really hated most of what his groupโs sound had become. this playlist is a few of the exceptions, songs he likes that he had no hand producing. just lyrics and his involvement. the songs he looked most comfortable and happy with during concerts.
note: the lyrics listed below will all be portions of chaniโs lines within said songs, which is his contribution to tracks he genuinely liked, and some of the only verses heโs somewhat proud to have his name attached to.
you who slowly takes over me
now I can feel this emptinessย when I open my eyes
please hold my hand so that I can be happy again
PARTY TIMEย โ ย ALIEN
i feel like drunken alexander
the glass is empty so give me more
gimme all that bottle
i want to let go of me today
MOHAE (์ด๋์ ๋ญํด) ย โ ย ALIEN
i just wanna be with you just wanna be with you
i now need something else more than just normal, do not hesitate
please donโt hide or be embarrassed
iโm ready for you now so just entirely take take take take
MYSELFย โ ย ALIEN
slowly, just take my body
we need to copy these emotions, so baby focus
canโt be nobody, donโt you get it
iโm broken, come and fix me, fix me babe
the warmth i want to feel
IN TIMEย โ ย ALIEN
hands that we normally held so well
places we thought about
why we couldnโt at times
i wish time would stop
so i can look at you now
NEED U (๋๊ฐ ํ์ํด)ย โ ย ALIEN
i think i need you
i asked my friends and they said Iโm right
i havenโt seen you for a whole day
thorns appear in my mouth, it hurts a little
youโre different
youโre not ordinary
i wonโt ever make you cry
so please come into my arms now
BLUE MOONย โ ย ALIEN
i let out a sigh, i think i should tell you
have to say the truth baby
my lover
youโre gonna be the past perfect
iโm sick and tired of this bullshit
we were so passionately in love
but the fire of our love is extinguished by your tears
NO REASONย โ ย ALIEN
i told you before that I'm selfish.
please don't do to me
i'm going to make you say the words that i'm so desperate for
i want you to pull my heart back out with your hand
MIRRORย โ ย ALIEN
i hate myself when i look through to the mirror
think iโm getting mad
this thing is torture
hope you feel me
cause i felt you
lemme get out of this
๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป 1469w, without song lyrics.
๊ทธ๋ฅ ์ ์๊ธฐ๋งํด๋ ๊ฐ์ด์ด ๋ฐ์ด ์ ์ง...ย ย
๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐น๐ forย 210912, dimensions portal collab, full verifications for noeul, eunahย โiโm differentโ ft yours truly chan. lyric + production. chani writes a song for a girl he started the new year with.
the overhead lights on the fantasy cruise ship paint her in cream, golden light, subtle dust of sparkle fallout over her cheeks and eyes, she smilesโ himchan stares at the wall and muses, the acoustic guitar in his lap held by his still hands; fingers on the strings without playing a note. the mood should suit her, himchan thinks about the noeul he knows when he makes the song. maybe that explains why it goes from a slow, trendy but rhythmic track with an r&b bassline to something completely different all on its own.
sheโs different, isnโt she?
with a grunt that suffers into a sigh he upends like an earthquake at 3am, dark circles and running on expressos, throwing his guitar to the side and plummeting into his producers chair instead. double click to bring up the mixer. then heโs spinning to the opposite side of the half square, wrap around desk to hit up his keyboard.
the initial piece of this song that makes itself known is the hook like she hooks into him with a smile. like the way things sometimes change.
a girl like me is not so common
iโm different, iโm special.
the song structure comes to him like a hit sound, verse, pre-chorus, chorus, verse, bridge into rap verse, chorus, finishing with a pre-chorus again. subject to change, but he feels strongly about it, itโs a somewhat typical structure for a jam band, and he canโt put a finger to why he hears a dropkick, bassline and overdrawn swinging beat. knowing the song is for noeul, it changes things, itโs embraced by the brash, flirty and jazzy tones of her strong vocals.ย
percussions will go first, the song should be able to bring her to life, about a girl who takes you by surprise and fills you up with exuberant excitement, eager to prove you wrong. innocence, eclipsing the margins of sensations you think youโre allowed to feel. maybe it should be about that kind of girl.
the sort of girl who cornered him beneath a swinging chandelier with a come get me smile, challenging him not to kiss her again.
come on baby
stop hesitating, hurry and come into me
once his guitar has been permanently set aside, he fiddles with simulated instruments on his editing software until he finds on that sounds right. heโll need to call the producers for alien, and his manager, and search for musicians who can pull off the right turnabout this song is becoming. he hums a tune beneath his breath that bounces and shifts, the same way she had through his life.ย
he doesnโt leave his chair, but opens text on his second monitor to write lyrics as they come, a frequent pattern of the way he edited. playing with the speed and delivery to match a rhythm, he changes the speed multiple times. funny enough thatโs the same as he and noeul had, as well. thereโs something important about the standard hit song spacing that doesnโt fit. too open and set in stone, broad yet following by the numbers. chani decides on the spot, his song should follow the typical structure, but the instruments shouldnโt. he imagines crowded, like him and noeul pressed against a wall in the dark of 7rophys dorm room. the baseline swallowed by the overproduced drumbeat and interrupted by a through of brass family. maybe not real brass, but simulated.
he spends an entire week getting right the melody of simulated brass on his keyboard. three days to the subtle baseline that he plans to bury beneath a load of fore fronted brass and even louder percussions. it all helps to set a tone, bubbling champagne, sparkling eyes when you look at someone you know is trouble,ย
a girl who reverses expectations, itโs why theyโre friends. noeul had began as a member to a girl he found himself circuited to from time to time. he spirals in his chair to the keyboard next to him, flipping it to imitate the toms of a drum since he couldnโt play them himself, finding the melody in memories of rushed and ever changing expectations. he exaggerates his emotions in the form of a melody, the first one that comes to mind is the pre-chorus, a change up just like her. he thinks of how he had kissed her and everything went quiet, so the bridge becomes a muffled repeat of the chorus melody, lowered to barely audible, while the drums kick up louder like the beat of his heart.
whoa ooh whoa ooh whoa
the melody he hums, imagines her voice rather than his own he knows it would bring life and clarity. his own tone is too low and overbold, hers is piercing and clean, it would bring a pretty splash. itโll keep the weight balanced, in an already crowded song it needed powerful and present, but most importantly fresh vocals.
whoa ooh whoa ooh whoa
you donโt know, you donโt know me
because it feels natural, he repeats the rhythm a few times until it defines as a coquettish and fun pattern, resembling an impressionable hook.
for the verses, he tries to take a step back. it was unflattering to have the song entirely written and pointed at his personal experiences with noeul so he attempts impartiality. this kind of song with a big band sound, and a brazen, fun feeling the girl whoโs hard to pin down, she can speak to her current lover in it. a girl like this, he removes noeul from the equation and instead builds an entire story; she probably wouldnโt take shit from anyone. arguments wouldnโt go anywhere because she canโt be contained, right? inspired by the idea, his fingers hit the keys and he types out a few lines.
donโt compare me, With other girls
iโm different, Iโm special
crazy โ even if Iโm born again
iโm gonna date you baby
he writes and reworks, the sings those words multiple times until heโs happy with what they imply. originally, he hadnโt intended to feature anyone but noeul and perhaps a second female vocalist, but this portion of the song begs him differ. clicking his tongue, he plays with keys and auscultates the sounds in his head, on his instruments and program but it doesnโt add up to enough.
just like that, he canโt help but add a dialogue, something to add a catch, hitch and strengthen the fun and flirty beat โ he chews his cheeks, taps his feet, and raps out infinite combinations of lines for this portion of the track.
a guy to help emphasize her character, something very teasing and typical in big band as well; like the instruments go back and forth without taking turns, chani recognizes a story should be built beyond bold bragging.
he comes up with early, functional bars for a male rapper.
the guy should say:
sorry for being confusing, babe
if you donโt like it, why donโt you leave?
the melody will quiet for them, like a shared moment before the rapper will come in. this verse should also have a cheeky tone. it has to show up in the delivery over the shallow baseline if he sucks the loud backtrack out, the rapper needs a very specific delivery.
thatโs why in the end it becomes him doing the lines. not just in production and writing the verse, but on the final version. he delivers the lines with such a goading tone that it canโt be missed, the way the song requires. a girl whoโs as lively and hard to predict as the subject of this song would need a witty and difficult to pin down man and thatโs what the song conveys.
bet u never seen arrow like me
with just one wink
i live in your heart, right?
he smiles when he writes it, assuming noeul would give him hell for writing such straight forward lines that lack subtly at all. thatโs part of why he likes it, what makes it work. just like her. just like the percussions and the brass section in the version of the song heโs working with a month later, after a million revisions, a full take of the lyrics in final form. when he sits down with her recorded vocals to mix, match and sooth them into the thronged beat, he canโt help but smile. he can almost hear her smiling through some of these takes and just to satisfy himself, he keeps them in. it fits the song to have something coy thriving between the sweetness of her voice and the hits of the drums.
though he made her record them many times to get them right, over time the difficulties she gave him in good nature still made it in, the first few takes rather than the perfect final ones.
he goes back in and adds a second, very muted baseline just to compliment the edition of eunahโs voice. eunah, he may not get along with, but he understood the instructions from their label to include her. she compliments noeul and his voice perfectly, a lot more upbeat and high toned than noeul but it worked in favor. in fact, eunahโs edition was exactly what the song needed to freshen up the song from being too cramped or stale, as band beats like this might sometimes feel.
thereโs a tease of a smile stretching out from the corner of her lips at how chani tugs the end of her hair. itโs like theyโre both in kindergarten or something, and sheโd do something back if it werenโt for their performances later on in the day.ย โhey, itโs all about the teasing. apparently somethingโs sexier about slightly showing skin than all of it,โ she says while covering up her own belly thatโs exposed by her short top. she wonders how much itโll rise up by the time she has to actually perform her songs. jaein chuckles before pushing a button on his jacket and shrugging.ย โcanโt help it when itโs exactly at my eye level,โ she admits before facing upwards to actually look chani in the eyes.
โi enjoyed navillera too.โ for once, she actually liked a lucid song. their previous releases werenโt bad, but they werenโt songs sheโd listen to on a regular basis. navillera, on the other hand, was a good mixture of power innocent yet age appropriate.ย โnot too keen on having to perform it over and over again, but thatโs just the way it is, huh?โ she thinks there should be a limit on how many times a group performs one song, but she knows itโs dimensions milking the success of their 20 something wins in total that came from rough and navillera combined.ย
for a moment, she steals a peak at whateverโs behind chani, making sure that thereโs still nobody around. sheโs aware that she can physically be hidden by his physique, but that doesnโt stop her from always being careful.ย โhow about you? like whatever youโre performing tonight?โ jaeinโs pretty sure she already knows the answer to this question, but she asks it anyway.ย โi, for one, think that shoot outโs kind of catchy,โ she offers first.
comforting that thereโs some playful humanity left in there, underneath all of jaeinโs working, burying, pleasing others that made her too serious at times. he indulges that joking with a smirk while he puts his hands into his pockets and widens his stance so that theyโre eye level,ย โthere, is that better?โ no one could get past them in the hall if someone were to come, but heโs hae himchan, so who would challenge him.
her complaints are marginal and he rolls his eyes, good nature lighting him up warm and golden,ย โthat is the way it is. it could be worse, thatโs for sure.โ itโs unspoken when speaking to him of all people, how much worse things could be. he and jaein had been arguing about the fall out of that negative, and his inabilities to navigate through or move past them. only in the last few years did things grow peaceful between them, no rocking the boat about his frustrating habits, or him with hers.ย โthatโs what you signed up for, i think.โ
he watches her as she looks, to make sure theyโre alone, floating in front of her as she checks the surrounding waters.ย โnope,โ he chirps, easy answer full of contempt and red like a stoplight,ย โiโm sick of it, but at least itโs finally almost over.โ he thinks of what he has on the works for his own part, without the stooges the label calls members and it lightens up his mood. not eager to make jaein deal with his frustrations he makes an effort to shrug it off and grin,ย โshoot out is horrible, jaein.โ the rebuff is playful even though he considers it true,ย โyou must have better taste than that. at least like alligator if you have to speak that blasphemy in front of me.โ he shakes his head.
