bittersweet.

white noise inside my head, sometimes I do feel bad. things ( fell apart ) too quickly. don't hear no phonecall ringin', can't hear your voice still singin'. we fell apart too quickly. how callous time can be, leaves distance in between, no signal reaches me.

[fmdxyunho]

seungminfmd​:

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ 𝐰𝐡𝐨? 𝐮𝐡.. 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭? ♥

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬:     𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 !!!

“ uh… okay, so hear me out…. i want to do something bold ! ” seungmin puffs out his chest, loud and proud when he slams his fists on the table to stand up tall. well, maybe not tall since he’s only 5′9, but he can at least pretend for a second when he decides this is his chance to finally become more than the horseboy who laughs way too much for his own good. “ like… maybe we can chug seven bottles of vodka, that’s enough… to film our own hangover movie, right ? ” okay, seungmin definitely doesn’t sound certain when he slides back into his seat and turns his eyes away from the person sitting across from him. maybe, it’s just hopeless at this point to breakaway from who he’s been. 

with an elbow on his table, seungmin catches his chin on his hand. “ okay… maybe not that bold. but what can i do ? maybe i’ll just get like a nose ring and some tattoos.. that’ll make me look cool when charm comes back soon. what do you think ? ” his lips kinda pout outward, but it’s not some pretend aegyo or attempt to be cute. it’s just that he feels like a loser when he’s twenty-four and the fans still call him out for wearing his naruto shirt religiously in public asking why he looks so off when charm suddenly goes into concepts like hit. so what, he doesn’t get why the public makes such a big deal? 

"bold,” he repeats. watching as the other makes a show of the statement, an eyebrow lifting with some amusement at the sight of the other trying to make himself appear taller, more than. the skepticism is clear as day across his face as he remains silent for a few beats, studying the charm member he had thought was one of their older. now he wasn’t quite as sure, unable to tell if he was simply cute or young, naive. “seven might be a bit much for you,” he replies slowly, leaning back in his seat as he works to process the full implications of his idea. “the hangover wouldn’t be fun in practice, either.” 

he decides just as quickly that seungmin was just naturally cuter, making a face at his expression unconsciously, working through the suggestions n his head of what would be the least extreme in practice, but the most effective in scratching whatever itch the other had gotten without causing a scandal. “i’ll go with for a tattoo. you can do one of the gumball machine ones,” he offered, exhaling more heavily with some uncertainty. “that’d be bold.”

sitting forward with his hands folded, eyes narrowed, his own, more leader-like side peaked through briefly. “what brought this crisis on?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmddowoon​.

dowoon’s eyes follow the shirt on its journey to the floor, narrowing his eyes at yunho’s back in front of his closet. dowoon stays silent for a second. he’s considering whether he wants to pick a fight or not – but yunho did come over to help him clear his shit out during his free time, so throwing hands probably wasn’t the most gracious thing he could do as a host.

“hey, i spend my money carefully,” dowoon insists. the bare bones nature of his wardrobe itself proves that. he looks back over at the shirts that yunho tossed aside and rolls his eyes, answering yunho’s questioning eyes with a stony neutral face. “those are one offs. gifts from my mom from like five years ago. look at everything else… it’s, like, plain.” dowoon gets to his feet and pulls out a shirt at random… which just so happens to be stripy, and not plain at all. most of his stuff is on the plainer side, save for some shirts with prints on the front and a surprising amount of horizontal stripes. he scoffs, and grunts out, low in his throat, “stripes aren’t busy though. they’re stripes.”

“you call that carefully?” the look he gave the shirt was as if it had personally offended him, the stripes not quite understated enough for his tastes. while yunho did enjoy a pattern once in a while, his palette was almost entirely neutrals, very few options had much contrast from the other colors involved. 

“stripes can be good, within reason. in a linen with a collar, definitely.” he was doubtful there was much of that in the closet, but he was hoping to find a gem or two to throw dowoon a bone, say it would work well enough to satisfy his stylists. the pained expression as he touched one of the other remaining shirts really spoke for itself, though, as he pulled it out doubtfully. “did they give you any instructions on how they’d like you to look?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmddowoon​:

dowoon’s new year meeting with bc’s stylist spelled out nothing but impending doom for his rather haphazardly organised wardrobe. make room in your closet, they’d said. you’ve seriously let your style go. it’s gone on for long enough. you look like a slob in candid fantakens. why the hell are they so serious over clothes? he’s never had any sense of style to let go in the first place, but he supposes the aim is to improve his impression. he’s skeptical, of course – the company caring about something they’ve never shown any interest in before is always dangerous. up until now, they’ve been happy to let him fade into the background in unbranded grey sweats and a hoodie that smells like his dog. he shines on stage, not off of it.

sat cross legged on his floor, he turns to the person he’s invited to help him clear out his clothes with a scowl. meanwhile, wang, his chihuahua, sniffs the pile of shirts already forming the donation pile with interest. “i don’t dress that badly, do i?” no, he doesn’t, he assures himself, not even giving the other a chance to respond before he resumes his grumbling, his voice low and originating from the back of his throat. “it’s just annoying. i only want to be comfortable. they’re gonna make me wear stiff denim, i know it.”

yunho pulled another t-shirt from the closet, staring with some disdain at the front of it, looking back down to the other idol with a wounded expression, as if the bad design were a personal affront. his own sense of style was understated, but chosen purposefully enough to look as if he hadn’t put much thought into it at all, so as to appear as if he didn’t care, as if he really just rolled out of bed and put on the first thing. carefully crafted was his image to even those he was close with, let alone the strangers who watched their moves. “did you genuinely spend money on this?” he held out the shirt, before tossing it to the floor and replacing the hanger. 

“do you want an honest answer?” he was dry and to the point, as usual, fixing him with a quizzical look. another shirt came off a hanger and was tossed in the same, careless way to the pile. “keep the jeans, then, and invest in better quality t-shirts. preferably something less...busy.” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdjade​:

“thank you.” her voice lilts, barely heard above the background noise of busy staff members roaming about and shouting into their headsets. she pauses at his question, one hand reaching back to check, brows knitted in thought. “tighter.” her head turns slightly to look back at him. just for a second before she turns away again, sweeping her hair over her shoulder. “i really don’t want to trend on naver because i accidentally flashed the whole stadium. i can’t…” she sighs, shoulders slumping, “i can’t be caught up in another scandal.”

in hindsight, it’d been a terrible thing to do - snapping at him for something that wasn’t even his fault. her mother would’ve scolded her something fierce for being rude to someone who was trying to help and the thought of her looking at her with disappointment pulls the fight out of her. jiae deflates, her body going momentarily limp as she shudders, trying to hold back a sob with the back of her hand. it’s too much, she decides in that moment with her head bowed and her free hand pressed to her chest as though she were in pain. 

“i’m sorry,” she’s sorry for a lot of things this year. always apologizing for things she did, things she didn’t do, for ruining all the good things, herself. thinks 2020 is a culmination of all the bad karma she must’ve collected from all the times she took people for granted. thinks she’s such a fool for believing she could handle the weight of everything on her shoulders. finds now that she really can’t. “for earlier. i’m really sorry.” 

this is how her body absorbs the effects of shattering: her teeth sinks down hard on her bottom lip, enough to redden it but not hard enough to draw blood, how she tries will all her might not to whimper against her hand, determined not to let out a sound. 

she breaks, anyway.

though she couldn’t see, he nodded again, carefully undoing the starts of the knot and pulling it tighter. once he was sure it wouldn’t pose a risk, he finished off the knot, looping it twice as she spoke. he felt a pang of sympathy — though he hadn’t been through any himself, he could imagine the pressure she was under without having to worry about the public keeping a closer eye, waiting for a slip up, something more to criticize. “you won’t be.” despite the effort put into making it a little more gentle than his normal intonation, his words came out more gruff, nowhere nearly as comforting as he had wanted. 

he shook his head, at the apology, uncertain how to tell her not to without it sounding rude. his earlier anger and frustration had completely gone, dissipated with the realization that no matter how shitty his night had gone, clearly hers had been worse, with her curled in on herself, apologizing to him though he had done nothing to warrent it. he had no right to add to that. he wasn’t sure what exactly it was, but he commiserated, something in her voice striking him as familiar — he knew how it felt to be at the end of a rope, though he couldn’t imagine she had done much to deserve it. his hand hovered at her shoulder, wanting to reassure her somehow, but still hesitating. “it’s fine. everyone makes mistakes.” 

a quiet, in between moment, and he stepped out from behind her to give her some space, his hand dropping at his side uselessly. who was he to offer any solace? at the noise, though, seemingly coming from her, the start of panic began to set in and he paused once more, brow furrowed with concern. “do...do you want me to leave? or to sit down? i can find water,” he said as softly as he could manage, the emotion causing discomfort as he wasn’t sure how to best help. 

[strayhags]

junhee in twenty twenty ep. 12

[fmdxyunho]

fmdjaein​:

“barely,” she says along with a shrug. while she did have a dance position in the group, she’s not sure if she’d go along and call herself a dancer. she kept up with lucid’s choreography—which did fall on the more difficult side—but she was no alice. in a couple of years, her other members could probably surpass her as well if they put in the effort. 

looking around the room, she’s rather surprised that there seem to be enthusiastic people around. “plus, there’s a difference between being a dancer and a choreographer. you turn on navillera, and i’ll start dancing right away but if you ask me to come up with something, i’ll just stare into the camera with a look that screams help me.” a scoff leaves her lips as she leans against the wall. she’s hyper aware of all the cameras around them, but that also means she knows none of them are focused on her. or yunho. 

for a moment, she wonders if she’d have enjoyed any of the other activities though the answer would most likely be no. she’d probably have enjoyed simply having the day to herself. “which company employee do you think came up with this stupid idea? i’ll put my bet on my own.”

he nodded, understanding the feeling. though he did work to ensure his group had stronger music, and he himself had a dance position, he wasn’t stellar with choreographing. execution was much different, much easier for anyone to do in his opinion, with practice. 

he eyed the others in the room, nodding if he by chance met any of their eyes, trying his best to stay out of focus of the cameras completely. he just wanted the entire ordeal to be over with, let alone planned, so he could get back to his usual schedule of trying to stay out of the light as much as he could. “why they think we can manage this is beyond me.” 

“my bet’s on bc.” it could have been any of them really, all of them were particular about projecting a certain image to the public and it felt very much like an extension of that, but bc in particular felt like they pushed the family image more. his own didn’t so much encourage it, but he could never be sure. “feels like some kinda of fake bonding deal.” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdminjung​:

she falls in love with escapism when early on in her years. but growing up puts matters into her own hands, where she learns that escaping gold star is a brutal mockery of quicksand, dragging her further down in each pull of resistance.

“farfetch is having their end of the year sale, so i’d say — yes.” a coy smile slips into her face, and she nods ascertaining their hapless future inside the same company. it’s empty worrying she’s lost sight of, six years down the rise of fuse encompassing each steady fall of hope. gold star, she signed her future — said and done, sealed with nothing more than the remnants of her weary eyes and trivial traces of optimism.

minjung strolls over, settling down on the sofa. one leg over the other and hands folded — she spares yunho the softness inside her laughter. "leave the wishful thinking behind in 2020, no use in hoping for something you won’t come true.” because she’d hope for many things, all of which would wither at touch of the company treating them like slaughter-bound animals. but tonight, she’s no witness nor catalyst to anyone’s hopes, only a punch of input rendered useless. “gold star never has their eggs lined up, and if they do — it all starts with origin and femme fatale. might be more helpful to find resolutions that don’t deal with our jobs, don’t you think? i’ve decided, that in 2021, i’m going to start texting people back. now, your turn.”

he hums his resignation, disappointment, rolled into one at the prospect. after so many years, he did know better to an extent, but part of him kept hoping he’d find an out without letting anyone down that didn’t deserve it. it wasn’t that goldstar didn’t, but his groupmates had to rely on him to an extent, however small, and he couldn’t find it in him to let that go. a contract and six others kept him tethered, but only one of those felt like a larger problem. “too bad, would be nice for a change.” he glances with a wry smile to the couch, offering a small shrug. hopes and daydreams would get him nowhere, but he couldn’t exactly act either. 

her words were not wrong, either, perhaps he was aiming much to high with his own goals. so he tried to think smaller. there weren’t necessarily any goals that he could think of that weren’t extremely short term or much too large for their discussion. though setting goals had never been a strong point of his, used to disappointment in some manner coming with any one he reached, or moving the finish line for himself just before he could get there. a bark of laughter took him by surprise, at her own resolution, and he nodded slowly, with feigned thoughtfulness. “i’ll text my sister, then.” a snap decision, one made without much thought and much weight behind it. it was an unlikely feat, truthfully, but he did not mean to uphold any resolutions either. it was not in his nature to keep promises made to himself, when he already expected disappointment. “maybe a company therapist will finally be in the cards.” nothing said with much sincerity, he shrugged once more. “or i’ll give one compliment a week. that’s a larger barrier, no?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdyena​:

it wasn’t hard to tell that yunho wasn’t very impressed by her antics but truly, yena didn’t need him to be. he had agreed and truly that was all she needed. by the end of the day, she’d have a pair of pretty new designer shoes and he would have saved himself an inpending headache, if you asked yena that was a win for everyone involved really, even if mainly for her. he pulled a drop smile, sharper around the edges, less sugarcoated as she bumped her hip into his playfully. “for you? anything.” she replied, still intent on using flattery to get her way but without the faux-innocent act dripping from it like honey. “who knows if you’re lucky and if you’r very very nice to me i’ll buy you some bubble tea or something to eat while we’re out.” an offer to meet him halfway, somewhat at least, the costs definitely wouldn’t measure up but it was more symbolic than anything. “i get shoes, you get good company to explore the city, we both win. the best offer you will receive all day.”

he rolled his eyes, only slightly playing up the exasperation. usually, it was easier for him to go along with whatever yena had in mind — it would be less painful in the long run, less listening to her complain or try to be extra sweet to get her way, not that she particularly had to with him. yunho’s track record was not good to date. as her hip bumped his, he chuckled in spite of himself. “tea?” as if that was the same thing as a pair of shoes. and with yena’s tastes, he was sure it’d be a high price tag as well. when she asked, at least, it usually was. he didn’t mind terribly as, to her point, she was at least good company. he figured he could shop around for his own purposes even with her along, anyways. “you know i’m only in impulse? i’m not made of money.” he gestured widely, indicating for her to take the lead and following only a half a step behind her. 

[fmdxyunho]

charliefmd​:

Entertainment comes in various shapes and forms, and tonight, a part of the entertainment comes in the form of a boy oh so cool and aloof with a charm of hidden silliness to him which is not showcased to the world all that much. A shame, really, because he has such a penchant for amusement that she was sure would flourish in the eye of an audience. For the time being he had it under wraps, bundled up in a pretty and neat package, and only unraveling for the people he thought reliable.

(Somehow she had wormed her way to become a part of his inner circle and in times like these might have him regretting he ever let her into his life in the first place.)

She does nothing to hide the snickering, pleased to see his reaction and having fun at his expensive. “I wasn’t.” Tongue in cheek reply; she had this memory saved to her mind (and phone) for eternity, just waiting for the perfect moment to remind him of this amazing experience again. “You did good though.” A touch of sincerity slips into her voice but it fades just as quickly, replaced by their usual bantering. “You say that as if there’s anything about the decorations to pick apart. Besides the flashmob completely stole the show, so no one is even going to think about how beautifully decorated this ship is. They’ll only remember the well-choreographed flashmob you took part in.”

“thanks.” the sarcasm barely dips, just enough for him to show he did actually appreciate the praise, even the ridiculous video he was sure she had saved. it wasn’t clear to even him how they had become so close, but she had grown to be one of his closest friends. her ability to pull him out of his own storms more easily than most set her apart and, though he hardly felt he deserved her at times, he worked to keep her close in spite of himself and their rockier start, with how poorly he had misjudged her. 

“looks a little bare. sure you did your best?” his grin betrayed him, finally actually surveying the room with a more critical eye and finding no fault with the festivities, tinsel and glitter everywhere — it wasn’t like he would’ve done any better, and it did look good, despite his teasing. a groan escaped him at the idea, remembering once more that there was video footage of it that wasn’t exclusive to charlie or anyone else in the room, having been created as a challenge for variety. “they better not. i’ll rave about the decorations to distract.” 

“right, and remind me later,” he added after a beat, glancing at his watch for the time discreetly. with all the cameras around, he felt more on edge, even around one of his best friends. “i got something for you.” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdjade​:

“and you could keep your eyes to yourself.” she dispels her anger like a bomb detonating prematurely. it has no eyes: her lion mouth - smoke fumes and frustration trapped in the last dregs of a performance nearly gone awry. it’s hardly the faux paux that bothers her. it’s the fact that she had to smile through it that sinks its teeth into her nerves. but once she feels the ripple effect fanning outward, watching the impact of it collide with an innocent bystander, jiae sucks in a breath and deflates.

“i’m sorry,” her head bows just enough for her hair to slip over a shoulder, curtaining her face. it’s the remorse that pangs deeply somewhere in the vicinity of her chest, quashes the guilt and the still pulsing animosity towards a cheapskate, heartless company eager to throw them to the wolves, to the elements - anything so long as they were able to milk them for what they’re worth. fingers tightening minutely to hold back the tremble that belies her tumultuous emotions. their callousness leaves a wound, smarting and throbbing. it lies in wait for a snag of skin, for a cut that slashes too deep. just one moment of carelessness and everything tumbles.

it happens now — in all the worst ways possible.

“no!” she bites her lip, then jerks her head in a reluctant nod. sighs. “yes…please.” god, it’s sickening. can’t quite stomach how weak she sounds at the plea she wrings from her mouth. defeat swells up like an unwelcome guest, knocking at the walls of a feeble heart and she obliges with slumped shoulders and a glance up at his face, eyes meeting his for a split second before flickering away, to the floor, to his hands. her surrender is a 180 pivot on her heels as jiae presents him with her back. skin exposed and all that’s keeping her dignity from falling apart are her shaking fingers and undone strings. “can you tie me up?” a beat of utter silence, then a horrified gasp. her cheeks burn as she whips around to look him in the eyes, struggling to keep her composure. “just lend me your hands, okay?” 

his frustration grew with the assumption that he was looking, that he was doing anything more than trying to make her feel comfortable by turning his gaze to the floor. but as she deflated, he swallowed it back down to his stomach, already an swarm of frustration with himself, and he nodded to acknowledge her apology. “me too.” his voice was lower, still strained with the weight of the bad day, but not nearly as angry as it had been a moment ago. the reel of his mistakes still playing in the back of his mind, unsure if there was any use in running through it for what had to be the tenth or eleventh time, unable to shake it but trying to stifle it in light of someone needing help. her night clearly wasn’t much better, and he didn’t need to put more on her shoulders in addition to it. 

it was clear she wasn’t comfortable accepting help and there was a pang of regret for offering, for not instead offering to find a staff member who would be better equipped to fix it in full. as her mood worsened, his own anxiety spiked, as he was not sure how best to help. though he understood how she felt. accepting help felt like accepting defeat and needing someone to do anything for him was always a mountain to overcome in and of itself. especially when it was hardly something she could have controlled in the first place. costume malfunctions were the responsibility of the staff, but that didn’t mean it didn’t affect her performance — he wondered if that was what was causing the issue, or if there was more to it. 

as she asked him to help again, he simply nodded and gently turned her to reach the malfunctioning top. he took the strings from her shaking hands gingerly, careful to keep a tight grip, and slowly tied an easier knot in the costume to keep it around her neck better, at least until she had to change. happy with his own handiwork, he didn’t fully let go of the strings yet, to ensure her peace of mind. “is that more secure? or does it need to be tighter?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdminjung​:

starter for @fmdxyunho

cameras become the enemy when the job entails more than the stereotypical nine to five. cut fresh by the role of an idol, and minjung loses individuality in lieu of obedience of what gold star forces upon her — a catch-22, how she sees blanking her mind void of any wandering thoughts she’s tried to forgo back in seoul. a break, and the thoughts crawl back festering into restless jitters forcing her to trail around to the observation lounge into the company of an old friend.

there must be lots of wanderers with a cesspool of thoughts, she thinks.

“having fun looking at the sky?” no greetings, they’ve never been one to entrance conversation with mere hellos, no. they’re past that in years toiled with sarcastic remarks and cheap laughs. “here’s a question for you — have any new years resolutions you’re making?” 2020 another year ended, and they’re still pitched to the same schedules underneath the same company. 

minjung looks through the windows, a gentle cast of the horizon that seems endless. “2021, and we’re done with another year. let’s hope it doesn’t sour like 2020 did, yeah?”

it was hardly a break, really. he knew the company wanted it to seem that way, being on a boat when they weren’t performing, but having camera crews and staff members around nearly the whole day when they weren’t performing wasn’t his particular brand of fun. it was hard for him to concentrate with the general chatter when they were required to be around other groups for the filming process and, while he understood that, it was beginning to feel like he was being buried. and so he went to the observation lounge for some quiet, trying to keep his distance as best as he could from less familiar faces.

he hummed his agreement, sparing a quick glance to confirm that the voice was minjung. her question didn’t exactly take him by surprise, the dryness perhaps surprising on first meeting from someone in her position, but yunho was in a similar one. resolutions seemed a far cry off for something he’d do. maybe when he was much younger, but he was much more jaded after so many years. “is escaping too farfetched?” they both were stuck under the same company and rules, but he wouldn’t abandon his group, he knew that much, so the thought itself was implausible. 

“might just be wishful thinking.” with a glance over his shoulder to ensure no staff members were nearby, he turned away from the windows, from the horizon. “think the company will get it together?”

[fmdxyunho]

fmdjaein​:

there was nobody else that jaein could blame for her bad luck, but the moment she picked the yellow ball she knew she was going to have a miserable time. the idea of a flash mob in 2020 just sounds… odd. do people even organize those anymore? she genuinely cannot remember the last time she’s seen some flash mob video go viral so it just seems irrelevant now. and for the holiday ball too? it simply could not get any worse. 

she’s hanging out towards the back of the conference room as she simply listens to the ideas that her fellow idols have. look, she might be the leader of lucid, but that doesn’t mean she has to be taking a leadership role right now. she’s rather good at following instructions so she’ll leave it to the rest of the group to figure something out. there’s someone else that comes to join her in the back, and she raises a brow at how disinterested he looks as well. 

“not your thing either?” 

@fmdxyunho​, december 26th

the yellow ball had seemed like a curse. the red was meant to be a punishment of sorts, he knew, the least fun of the options, but decorating seemed significantly better than a flash mob. choreographing a surprise dance was at the bottom of his list of things to do for this trip, but unfortunately he was stuck with it. though a dancer himself, he hardly felt up to the task, especially with so many voices in the mix. 

as they spoke loudly, and much too animatedly for his tastes, he inched his way to the back of the circle, careful to avoid the camera’s in doing so, only really sliding away if one wasn’t facing him. yunho felt much more comfortable at the back of a crowd anyways, and he said a silent thanks to whatever executive had determined he wouldn’t need to take a strong personality on variety, as he was able to make his way towards the back of the room, where one of the older lucid members seemed to be waiting out the noise.  

he snorted, offering a headshake. there were only a few people speaking now, a plan seemed to be on its way. “aren’t you the dancer?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdjade​:

dec 31, busan concert backstage / @fmdxyunho

jiae was not having the time of her life. it’s a testament to her dwindling patience when she wakes from the flight with a raging migraine and no remedy in sight and ushered from airport to van, zooming at lightning speed towards the asiaworld arena for rehearsals. she’s grumpy as she goes through the motions on autopilot, sailing through backstage prep. if looks could kill, she’d be skinned alive and buried six feet under from the heat of her manager’s you best behave or else! glare he practically brands on her the moment they’re ushered on stage. 

the performance goes smoothly — until jiae can barely hear herself over the heavy backtrack blaring in her ears and the arena of screaming fans foaming at the mouth, a colorful ocean of lightsticks blinding her and all she could see was rainbow dots behind her eyelids. 

she’s a pro. she got this. (she doesn’t.)

it comes undone somewhere in the middle of feel special. her patience. her goddamn top. the mic pack hangs half dangling half wedged between her untying top and her skin. her smile freezes when she feels it sliding every time she shifts her body and raises her arms, one hand coming behind her to hold the strings as best as she can. the performance ends on a high, but jiae’s mood sinks down all the way to the ninth circle of hell. she stomps offstage when the lights dim for the next performance, yanking her in-ear off with a click of her tongue and the stupid mic pack from the back of her top, shoves it into her manager’s hands and shoulders her way out of the crowd, needing air. space. to regroup.

she’s cursing beneath her breath when she rounds a corner and bumps into a wall so hard, she’s knocked back a few steps, her hand slips from the back of her top and the neckline gapes. “for fuck’s sake.” her voice is choked, soaked in anger and utter frustration. “can you, like, move?” a pause. then, a defeated afterthought: “please.”

he had messed up the dance. multiple times, on their last show. it was inexcusable for any member, let alone one with a dancing role, let alone the group’s leader. not only that, but the backing vocals saved his ass on more than one occasion — he felt like he was missing every other note tonight. with only two songs, earlier in the evening, there was no excuse for him to mess it up for his members like that. 

as he exited the stage, he waved off staff members after he handed over his mic, wishing for the first time the entire trip he were back on the boat instead. at least all he really had to do at this point was avoid any of the cameras for the variety show. he tries to stay out of the way, nodding and offering tight smiles to anyone he runs into. 

for the most part, he paces around instead of staying with his group or catching up with any of the others, going over everything he had to work on, perfect, before their next comeback. it isn’t until someone runs into him that he’s shaken from his own fixations, staring at the wish member with surprise, ready to apologize until she snaps at him. 

an irrational anger washes over him and he nearly snaps back, before he notices the drop in her neckline, his eyes flickering to her hands holding the stage costume at the neck. averting his gaze he shakes his head, as if to shake off the mood. “you could watch where you’re going.” his tone was clipped, though more resigned than annoyed at this point. he didn’t need to take out his bad night on her. “do you need help?” 

[fmdxyunho]

charliefmd​:

fantasy cruise, holiday ball: charlie is ready to clown @fmdxyunho for the dance mob 🤭

“So…” the word is drawn out deliberately as she steps into his bubble and within his earshot — loud enough only for him to hear — having materialized from seemingly nowhere and now standing behind him.There’s no shortage of teasing laced in her voice and she even makes it a point to give him a smug look when she steps around to his right and they lock eyes. “That was quite the show.” It’s a compliment and a tease rolled into one; the old one-two punch of a statement, the usual way she delivers her words, especially with him, and she can’t help the grin growing wider by the second.

It had been quite a show, and the idols who had been tasked with the assignment of creating the flash mob had done a good job — it was both fun and entertaining to watch.

Yunho being a part of it had made the whole thing even better.

It’s not even his dancing she finds entertaining and amusing — she knows how good of a dancer he is and she didn’t need to see him in action for this flash mob to prove anything to her — but it’s more how obvious it was to her that he would rather be anywhere but here: to be a part of this gimmick, and that (to her) was gold. “How long did it take ya’ll to come up with that routine?”

the flash mob was quite literally a nightmare. not that it was bad — no worse than a normal flash mob could be, especially when you had performers with choreographing experience. but the public display, being the center of attention for an unexpected surprise addition to the event? not exactly what yunho was looking for. as soon as it was over, he tried his best to blend back into the crowd, keep the smile he pasted on afterwards for the camera as unstrained as possible. 

as soon as he heard charlie’s voice near him, though, his expression became one of defeat, turning to shoot her a pained look. “don’t make fun.” a hard ask, he knew, but maybe he’d catch a break. the variety tasks would be the death of him, should he continue to pull blue and need to be on film more than he wanted. though he could hear the chatter about the flash mob, it seemed to be slowly fading into the background and he hoped silently no one would remind him of his participation for the rest of the evening. 

“it felt like an eternity,” he replied finally, deadpan as usual, but a small, wry smile creeping in at his own expense. with her absence in the dance group, she must have been decorating or in the pool. “can i blame you for the decorations?” 

[fmdxyunho]

fmdyena​:

setting: taipei, taiwan, 27 december 2020 with: @fmdxyunho​

yena was glad to get off the ship. sure, the cruise was luxurious beyond measure, it wasn’t like she had anything to complain about but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nice to venture into the city for a bit, breathe in some fresh air that didn’t overwhelming smell like salt, stand on solid ground, all of that. also, going into city meant shopping and if there was something she enjoyed it was doing exactly that. in her own humble experience, she had earned it really, never mind they had only had one concert yet where they had perfomed two whole songs, she still needed a damn break. and sure, spending money was fun, but it wasn’t more fun than spending someone else’s money. so yena latched onto her poor victim of the day, sweetly batting her lashes at the male. “yunho oppa~” she started, her tone saccharine. “do you have plans already? come with me to buy new shoes maybe?” the that you’re paying for heavily implied in her words.

shopping wasn’t exactly yunho’s idea of a good time, but it seemed ot be a good break from filming, as much as he didn’t like to admit that. the managers told him he should try to find gifts for the members, small things, to appear well on the variety, which was easy enough, but the cameras weren’t really focused on him, quiet and more introverted though he was. once they got their small clip of him, it usually felt like he was dismissed to do what he wanted. not that that was easy when he didn’t exactly want to be out on the crowded streets to begin with. yena saved him from that particular decision, though. as she spoke to him in a sickly sweet voice, he raised his eyebrows at her, not exactly with suspicion, but some reluctance. “if i come, will you speak normally?” he knew if he went, it’d be his money in the register, but he also was never the best at saying no.

[hamtarowow]

i feel so lucky

[fmdxyunho]

fmdlink​:

Cai had just entered the building to support his members who had started promotions for their sub-unit during the music show. He was happy and proud for the two of them, and Cai knew how hard they worked to be there. With tteokbokki in his hand and some cola, he headed towards the waiting rooms. A head of him he spotted a familiar face getting closer towards him.  “Hey….how are you?” gosh…. Cai you sound so awkward - he thought to himself.

some of the members had come to support him and their youngest as they debuted once more, though most of yunho’s focus was on reserving energy for the stage. their promotions cycles hadn’t felt as draining lately, but with only two members, it was more important to be as good as possible. he didn’t want to make the group look bad. “about as good as i can be.” clipped and to the point, it wasn’t meant to be rude as anything he said rarely was — he was just surly. “you get a drink yet?”