his mood is a ghost image, a lingering trail that blurs, snap shots, a flipping picture book. it’s how he writes his music. extended across his sofa with a filled notebook. curled pages, crowded margins, crowded mind. he’s glad he didn’t move in with any of his group members, but one in particular he’s thankful for being away from. it would impact his relationship with her. because chiwon wouldn’t call yaebin over tonight if he had chosen to move in with jinki like he might have almost planned. everything would be different. living alone has it’s perks. safe space, he can be any way he wants with her here. as for the rest; patience his virtue and doubt the vice that breaks him. things with her have grown different. he couldn’t have known how he would grow to hold such a musical sort of intrigue for her, his heartbeat in his throat and fluttering beneath his skin even at the sight of her.
he gave her the passkey to his door, his apartment, his life. his heart. it’s an invasive thought, like water dripping from a faucet; that he would let her walk right in. he feels plainly foolish, and utterly content. contradictory, isn’t it? he hates that more than anything. he looks up at the breaking of the seal, the squeak of hinge and sound of door swinging. it can only be her. he throws the curled pages of his notebook onto the table. “i was beginning to wonder if you’d even come over, @fmdyaebin.” he’s not teasing her, he isn’t. it isn’t a joke, he doesn’t tell those. his delivery is too tongue in cheek. sadly, this is the truth, disguised as derision, from that stinging insecurity at the back of his throat that begged him to realize he shouldn’t want her like he does, and that she wouldn’t show up? it would be a blessing, not a curse. “well come on, sit down.” he hopes she’ll sit next to him, and then he doesn’t.
Yaebin had always prided herself on how self aware she was. She was aware of her thoughts and feelings, who she was as a person, her physical being. Or so she thought. There were things about herself that she didn’t acknowledge - and couldn’t bring herself to do so. Not when Chiwon was involved. Chiwon. Just the name alone was enough to make her smile, a reaction that she claimed any of her friends could bring out in her. Friends. He was just a friend. That was all he could be, what with her history with his group member. Even though she and Jinki ended things quite some time ago, and their friendship was stronger than ever, she couldn’t help but feel guilty every time she let her guard slip. Every time she subconsciously felt herself allowing her thoughts to wander to and linger on Chiwon. Just as quickly as the thoughts came, she shut them out. That was something she was good at - denying herself what she wanted.
Even with how often she found herself at his apartment, she was still surprised when he had given her the passkey to the front door, giving full fledged access to his home. It was a big gesture, she was sure of it. The two of them were close, almost as close as could be, and she knew that Chiwon wouldn’t just give his passkey away to anyone. Once she arrived, she let herself in, pausing by the front door to remove her shoes and coat. “Sorry, I got held up at Gold Star. A meeting with my manager.” Even though Fuse wasn’t particularly busy that month, they still had to check in with their managers and stay up to date on things. “Would you be heartbroken if I didn’t show up?” She asked playfully, a grin spreading across her face as she made her way over to him, plopping down on the seat next to him. “What have you been up to all day?” She casually lifted up her legs, resting them across his thighs as she got more comfortable.
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