A KEYWORD that i never got a chance to to post up: FAMILY
What is family? Well, it's my chosen keyword. I grew up in the Philippines. I had my father, my two brothers and a couple of maids i considered family. The maids were the replacement of my mother and were very good at being the feminine figure in my young life. Do you think socialites in Beverly Hills also see their maids the same way!? I just wonder. So far i have been able to experience two different aspect of family. The Asian way and the American way. Asian way is growing up with focused goals, schooling and success in obtaining a career. Emotions are rarely explored and saying "I love you" is almost feared. The way a parent would be proud of you is through your scholastic achievements and monetary successes. However, in America, family implement the "we love you for who you are" sentiment to their children. It's really endearing to be able to make mistakes, like any human human being, instead of feeling like a second class citizen. There are other forms of family, most are common and familiar, such as the distinction between nuclear family and extended family. But there are other more taboo aspects of family: The "Free Love"/Walking Marriage for the Mosuo People in China, Polygamy, bigamy, and "negotiated infidelity" practiced by some couples everywhere.
The "Free Love"/Walking Marriage is a culture with the Mosuo People where a man lives with his mother but every night goes to his lover's house and stay over night. The men never stay longer than the night. There is no marriage or ceremony to confirm their relationship but every night all the men leave their mother's home to be with their lovers. Even with kids the couples never stay together. Although this practice is looked down upon by other societies, it is widely accepted within the Mosuo's lifestyle. Polygamy is Greek meaning "the practice of many marriage". Polygamy exists in three specific forms, including polygyny (one man having multiple wives), polyandry (one woman having multiple husbands), or group marriage (some combination of polygyny and polyandry). to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry (Wiki). In the United States, both Polygamy and bigamy are against the law:
Model Penal Code 230.1 Bigamy and Polygamy
The following is the section of the Model Penal Code that deals with bigamy and polygamy:
MPC 230.1 Bigamy and Polygamy
i. Bigamy. A married person is guilty of bigamy, a misdemeanor, if he contracts or purports to contract another marriage, unless at the time of the subsequent marriage:
1. The actor believes that the prior spouse is dead; or
2. The actor and the prior spouse have been living apart for five consecutive years throughout which the prior spouse was not known by the actor to be alive; or
3. A Court has entered a judgment purporting to terminate or annul any prior disqualifying marriage, and the actor does not know the judgment to be invalid; or
4. The actor reasonably believes that he is legally eligible to remarry
ii. Polygamy. A person is guilty of polygamy, a felony in the third degree, if he marries or cohabits with more than one spouse at a time in purported exercise of the right of plural marriage. The offense is a continuing one until all cohabitation and claim of marriage with more than one spouse terminates. This section does not apply to parties of a polygamous marriage, lawful in the country of which they are residents or nationals, while they are in transit through or temporarily visiting this State.
iii. Other Party to Bigamous or Polygamous Marriage. A person is guilty of bigamy or polygamy, the case may be, if he contracts or purports to contract marriage with another knowing that the other is thereby committing bigamy or polygamy.(Wiki)
Although the repercussion is very serious against bigamy and polygamy, members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), one of the largest modern polygamist sects, still practice polygamy in arranged marriages that has sometimes involved placing under-aged girls with older men.
Negotiated Infidelity is an understanding between couples, that allows them to stray with their partner's consent. Even if the couple has a family this practice is acceptable. What kind of message is this activity sending out to the children soaking in this environment? And is it healthy for their young mind to deal with?
All families are dysfunctional one way or another and seeing all the other options, I am very lucky to have mine just the way they are.
jacobvanloon
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snowghoul
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