â Iâm going to make this way harder than it needs to be. â
â Who says exactly what theyâre thinking? What kind of game is that? â
â Speaking of funerals⊠why donât you go ahead and die? â
â You took a life here today. You did. The life of the party. â
â Please donât throw garbage at me. â
â Well, well, well⊠how the turn tables. â
â Just Do It. You were the âitâ that I was just doing. â
â Decent people everywhere will get offended. â
â I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good. â
â Who am I? Iâm [name], the business bitch. â
â Oh, speaking of time machines⊠I just got back from the future and I went to your funeral, and guess what? Nobody came. â
â I never smile if I can help it. â
â This is a dream Iâve been having since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now. â
â If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person. â
â Occasionally, I will hit someone with my car. So sue me. â
â I really enjoy being judged. â
â Friends joke with one another. âHey, youâre poor.â âHey, your mommaâs dead.â Thatâs what friends do. â
â I donât talk trash, I talk smack. Theyâre totally different. â
â Theyâre trying to make me an escape goat. â
â If I donât have some cake soon I might die. â
â Your mom, you gay nerd! â
â I donât want to blame anyone in particular⊠I think everyoneâs to blame. â
â Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But itâs not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised. â
â Is this a video conference youâre having withâŠÂ âDrakeâ featuring âSwizz Beatzâ? â
â Should have burned this place down when I had the chance. â
â Nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. â
â So everyone here knows pirate code? â
â Your internet searches were so filthy we had to throw out your computer. â
â I have the worst attitude of anyone here. â
â And I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. â
â What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? â
â I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?! â
â Youâre always saying thereâs something wrong with society, but maybe itâs something wrong with you. â
â I talk a lot, so Iâve learned to just tune myself out. â