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[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

❝  is that right?  then maybe i haven’t lost it after all,  ❞   he says with a grin.  he’s teasing,  but klaus’s words actually do bring him comfort.  it would really hurt him if he felt like he had actually lost these parts of himself.  it feels good to get back into it.  with a chuckle,  he nods his head.  ❝  you know,  you’re probably not wrong.  gracie hasn’t found a single thing she isn’t good at yet.  and she won’t let you forget it,  ❞   he jokes.  ❝  you’re right.  gracie does deserve another cheerleader,  and you just might be the best man for the job.  okay,  it’s settled.  gracie is cooking us a feast.   now how’s that sound?  ❞   he asks with a charming grin.  he chuckles,  feeling ecstatic to know that klaus wants to meet his brother so much,  despite not knowing a whole lot about him.  ❝  really,  you do?  i can’t see why we shouldn’t make it happen then.  we’ll figure something out.  i’ll get in contact with him soon,  okay?  i’m looking forward to telling him about you.  ❞  it’s been a while since he’s been able to do that.  ❝  i’m sure you will get along well.  you’re both good with people,  ❞  he insists.  with a scoff,  he shakes his head.  ❝  no,  no.  a naive dream,  maybe,  but no  —-  it’s not for me.  i’m content with where i am.  i don’t need power.  i jut need to be able to help on the ground,  in whatever way i can.  ❞    raising a brow,  he grins back at him.  ❝  i’ve become a bit laid back,  i’d say,  but  —-  i still know how to spruce up when needed.  ❞   like now,  he’s dressed for a special occasion,  his first date since his husband died.   it’s a big night for him,  but he’s enjoying it.  he shakes is head.  ❝  no,  not me.  i’m a man who needs conversation.  gets me through the day.  and with you?  i can’t imagine having a better time.  i wouldn’t have done well with you quiet for that long,  ❞  he admits.  his hand rubs over his arm to reassure him even more.  ❝  if you need that reminder,  let me know.  she seems important to you.  i don’t want you to feel like you have to give that up,  ❞  he insists.  his chest warms as klaus insists he should meet her.  ❝  you’d like that,  really?  have you ever introduced anyone to her before?  ❞

❝  well,  i don’t know what you were like before,  but yeah,  if you asked me,  i would say you haven’t lost it!  not at all,  ❞  he grins.  the only aaron that klaus knows is the one he has now,  but it’s the one that he adores as much as he does.  he can’t get enough of him.  ❝  hey,  maybe there’s just NOTHING she’s not good at!  she seems like one of those kids.  not that there’s anything WRONG with that!  seems like she’s RIGHT,  ❞  he shrugs.  he admires gracie.  he likes her a lot,  and he knows that getting along with her is something that means EVERYTHING in this.  eyes widen with EXCITEMENT at the words he speaks,  deep breath drawn in and a smile brightening up his lips.  any plans they make is something that brings him such honest JOY.  ❝  that sounds…  PERFECT!  ❞  he agrees.  ❝  you think she’ll be excited about it too?  ❞  klaus is fairly certain that she will be.  his head nods quickly.  ❝  yeah,  he sounds like someone i’d get along with!  but i think i’d get along with anyone you get along with,  ❞  he admits with a shrug.  ❝  you seem like you’re a pretty good judge of character,  so if you like someone,  then they’re probably someone who i can like!  ❞  it’s exciting to him that there’s someone who WANTS to tell someone they love about klaus for a reason that’s beyond the norm for him.  it makes all of this just feel even more REAL.  they’re discussing bringing their FAMILIES into this.  shoulders shrug at his response.  ❝  okay!  then maybe when gracie becomes president,  you could HELP her.  you’d be good at THAT!  and then you’d still have a chance to help on the ground like you want to and EVERYBODY wins!  ❞  eyes trail down from aaron’s face to look at what he’s wearing,  head tilting as he examines it and raising his brows.  ❝  yeah,  you do!  and you look GREAT doing it,  ❞  he insists with a firm nod.  klaus will always encourage him being more adventurous with what he wears since he grew up not having that.  his smile brightens again when aaron claims he couldn’t have gone that long without klaus talking.  it feels incredible that there’s someone out there who will actually listen to every word he says and ENJOY it.  ❝  okay,  well,  lucky for YOU,  i don’t plan on breaking my jaw again soon,  so you get to hear me talk ALL i want  -----  or all you want.  or all either of us wants,  ❞  he shrugs.  ❝  and you get to do the same with me,  okay?  i like hearing you talk!  i like what you have to say and i like your voice.  ❞  everything about aaron seems like something he can just completely ADORE.  a hand moves to rest lightly against the man’s shirt as his arm is touched,  eyes locked with his and nodding slowly.  ❝  yeah,  well,  you’ve already made me feel like i don’t have to,  so if you don’t want that,  you’re doing a good job!  ❞  he’s encouraging.  he says what klaus needs to hear.  he HELPS.  it has him completely caught up in this,  nothing else running through his mind but how badly he wants this to last.  ❝  no!  no,  nobody outside my family has EVER met her before!  so you’d be the first.  you’d be pretty SPECIAL,  huh?  yeah,  i’m gonna bring you there and you’re gonna meet her.  ❞  because this matters to him.  and it matters that he can DO this sort of thing. 

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

her brows furrow and she shakes her head.  ❝  yeah  —-  then he found out i wasn’t worth as much,  ❞    she mumbles.  ❝  and i kept pretending that one day he would change his mind.  ❞   part of her STILL wants to believe that eventually,  he did change his mind.  that’s why she sent him her book,  hoping that maybe,  he would finally see that she had some talent.  it wasn’t about shoving her words in his face,  it was about desperately looking for someone to be PROUD of something she did.  her fingers tug on her sleeves,  pulling them over her palms.  ❝ i didn’t want to believe he was.  sometimes  .  .  .   i still don’t, ❞   she admits.  ❝  but i wanted my siblings’ approval way more than i wanted his.  ❞   and she appreciates allison saying this now,  but it doesn’t fill the void left in her heart.  she nods her head,  her hand moving to pick at her opposite sleeve.  ❝  yeah,  all the time.  i got dressed,  and i tried to follow you all out.  dad would stop me.  he’d pull me aside with him,  remind me that i had no place there,  no worth,  and  —-   and i thought that maybe it was a good thing,  you know?  just to be by his side,  that maybe the rest of you  .  .  .   you’d just think i’m special because of that. ❞   but that wasn’t the case.  ❝  i don’t know how i would help.  i guess he was right,  ❞   she says quietly.  ❝  i just  —–  wanted to feel like part of the family. ❞  and that felt like the missing piece.  her brow raises,  surprised that allison actually wants to go.  ❝ you wouldn’t be  —- - bored?  ❞  she will invite her.  it’s something she’s EXCITED to do,  but she’s trying not to get her hopes up too much.  she wants to trust allison,  she believes she will make an effort,  but the idea of looking out at the crowd and not seeing her will crush her.  ❝  has she met any of us?  i  —-   feel like she’d get along with klaus the most, ❞   she adds with a soft grin.  mostly because she has always imagined klaus being really good with kids.  of course,  her ideas of her siblings are likely not all TRUE,  and she knows that.  ❝  it also doesn’t mean you’re not,  ❞  she counters.  ❝  you’re good,  allison.   i’ve never missed one of your movies,  ❞   she promises.  even though they’re rarely genres she cares about,  she goes because she misses allison,  and she wants to support her.   ❝  i think you can.  and  —- i think you’ll be a lot better at it than you give yourself credit for,  ❞   she assures.  

❝  dad…  wasn’t a good person.  he didn’t care about any of us beyond what we could do for him.  it’s not your fault he never changed his mind.  you’re great,  vanya.  him not seeing that says more about him than it does about you.  ❞  oddly enough,  it’s still slightly difficult to talk about her father in a negative light.  she dislikes him.  she’s so ANGRY with him.  yet,  she spent so long doing what she could to impress him,  to get him to PAY ATTENTION,  that it’s difficult to break out of that,  but she is trying.  she sees just how badly he hurt all of them,  vanya included.  her features fall when she admits it was the rest of their approval she cared about more,  head dropping slightly to keep her gaze away from the woman.  ❝  i didn’t know that back then.  i’m sorry.  i wish we would have paid more attention.  ❞  but she also doesn’t feel like they’re fully to blame.  reginald was the one who told them to leave her alone.  allison just assumed that was how it was supposed to be.  ❝  i…  i guess we did think you were a little bit special.  i know we didn’t understand how you were so close to him,  how you got him to talk to you,  to pay attention to you.  ❞  at least,  that’s how it LOOKED from allison’s perspective.  that doesn’t at all mean it’s how it actually was.  ❝  i was a little bit jealous of that,  actually,  ❞  she admits quietly,  brows raising.  she’s not saying it to intentionally dismiss vanya’s feelings about their childhood.  she’s saying it to show her that everything looked DIFFERENT from their perspective.  at her question,  she allows her lips to lift into a faint grin and she shakes her head.  ❝  of course not,  vanya.  you’re my sister.  i won’t get bored with you.  ❞  she won’t get bored watching her do something she’s good at.  it’ll feel good to finally be there for her to support her.  allison lets out a soft laugh.  ❝  she would get along with klaus,  but i think he would corrupt the hell out of her.  remember what he was like as a kid?  he’d pass that onto her and as her mother,  i don’t want to deal with that,  ❞  she jokes.  ❝  no,  none of you guys have met her.  she knows a lot about all of you though.  i tell her stories.  she likes to hear what it was like back then.  ❞  she doesn’t know the darker parts of it and allison wants to keep it that way.  she didn’t start mentioning vanya in the stories until recently,  but she’s not going to mention that part.  eyes peek up to her and she gives her sister an appreciative look.  it’s SURPRISING to her that vanya has seen all of her movies,  but it makes her feel good.  ( it also keeps her feeling guilty that she hasn’t put as much attention into her life. )  ❝  thanks,  vanya,  ❞  she speaks sincerely.  ❝  i hope you’re right.  i’m doing what i can to…  make all of this better i guess.  ❞  with her,  with her daughter,  she’s trying to be GOOD. 

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

❝  if you say i can’t,  then i can’t. don’t know how i could argue with that,  huh?  ❞  he teases,  bright grin on his features as he tugs him in closer.  he’s perfectly fine with staying like this all day.  it’s relaxing,  and it’s just what he needed.  it’s rare that he ever gets to wake up with someone else in his arms,  so he’s not going to waste this time he has with someone special like klaus.  he hums,  lookin back over to him.  ❝ think so, huh?  well,  i ain’t gonna set anything on fire  ——  so i guess i just gotta work harder,  ❞   he teases,  arms wrapped around him tightly and hand moving to rest in his hair.  ❝  if you wanna stay in bed all day,  hey,  that’s okay with me.  ❞

❝  EXACTLY!  you can’t,  ❞  he mumbles,  a happy sigh following and his eyes shutting.  he’s so pleased that he gets the pleasure of being in alden’s arms like this just upon waking.  it is so COMFORTABLE.  it’s warmer than anything he thinks he has ever experienced before.  klaus hums quietly at his words,  brows raising slightly and his head lifting to look up at him.  ❝  no?  have you EVER set anything on fire before?  ❞  he asks curiously before laying his head back down on his shoulder.  ❝  i have,  ❞  he admits.  ❝  when i was a kid,  i thought it looked cool so i set some stuff on fire.  mom HATED it,  but she couldn’t have hated it that much because she’d always be smiling anyway.  ❞  klaus adjusts in his arms to get more comfortable,  eyes closing happily at the way alden holds him.  ❝  great!  then we are staying right here and no one and nothing can change that.  ❞

[followsfear]

& * kanimal‌:

she shakes her head,  not wanting to concern him or to have to explain too much  ( even though it does feel good to talk about it when she can tell the person on the opposite end isn’t looking at her like she’s making it all up. )  ❝  no,  no.  not  .  .  .   not too bad.  ❞   for her,  at least.  it has gotten really bad,  and because of that,  she tells herself it isn’t as bad as it could be.  that’s what everyone else is already telling her anyway.  she gulps,  her eyes squinting for a moment as she thinks over her answer.  ❝  it’s hard to believe i’m awake sometimes.  because my night terrors  .  .  .  they’ve been really intense,  and really scary,  so it’s hard to remind myself that i’m no longer in one.  i guess i get scared to believe i’m actually awake sometimes,  because i’m just waiting for something bad to happen.  does that  ——  does that make sense?  ❞   she asks,  almost nervously,  because she’s not used to talking about all of this.  she offers a small smile and nods her head.  ❝  thank you.  ❞   her words are genuine too,  because she believes him.  ❝  really?  ❞   she doesn’t feel relieved,  she just feels sorry for him too,  because she understands that pain.  ❝  i’m sorry.  i wish  ——   wish we could’ve known each other when we were younger.  maybe we could have had sleepovers and ignored it all together.  ❞   it’s a genuine hope of hers,  the idea that she could share the comfort with another,  or have a friend at all,  because she didn’t get that.  she was taken away from the one slumber party she had ever been invited to,  and after that, no one wanted to invite her.  ❝  all the time?  do you  ——  do you have a roommate?  ❞  she asks curiously.  she frowns,  looking down and focusing on her piece.  no answer is given out loud.  instead,  she shakes her head slowly.  

❝  oh,  ❞  he nods,  head tilting and giving her a little smile.  ❝  well,  THAT’S good!  what kinda things do you do?  ❞  he’s not asking to be purposefully invasive.  he wants to know about her,  about what happens,  what she’s like.  he’s INTERESTED.  klaus loves talking to people and getting to know them;  tracy is no exception to that.  his head tilts and his eyes find her,  giving a look of SYMPATHY.  it sounds extremely difficult to go through.  ❝  so  -----  you don’t what’s real sometimes?  ❞  he can certainly relate to that and his heart ACHES for her because of it.  he knows what a struggle that is.  ❝  yeah,  you’re making sense!  i mean,  i don’t know EXACTLY what it’s like,  but i can…  i can get the idea!  ❞  he understands;  he wants her to know that.  he doesn’t want her to feel ALONE.  a little smile pulls at his mouth when she says she wishes they could have known each other younger.  it makes him feel GOOD  -----  knowing that she would have wanted to be friends.  ❝  yeah!  hey,  you know,  i NEVER had a sleepover when i was a kid with anyone but my brothers and sisters,  so you would have been my only one!  ❞  he admits.  ❝  -----  wait,  i mean,  what’s stopping us from doing that NOW?  we could still have a sleepover.  ❞  he’d like that.  a large part of the reason that klaus has come to college is for the PEOPLE.  a frown pulls at his mouth and he shakes his head.  ❝  no,  no roommate!  i WANT one,  but  -----  ❞  he trails off with a shrug.  it’s difficult with who he is and what he can do.  his brows crease together and look of honest SORROW fills his expression.  ❝  that’s rude of people,  ❞  he notes.  ❝  hey,  i could come check on you if you want me to!  you can just…  let me know if you need someone or something.  ❞  he’d go over.  he’d be a FRIEND to her.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

he nods his head and lets out a small chuckle.  ❝  i am,  i am.  it’s getting back to that that’s tough.  though,  planning tonight,  it didn’t really feel that way.  it just felt good,  ❞  he promises him.  his grin grows and he shrugs his shoulders.  ❝  okay,  okay,  maybe you’re right about that.  i’ve gotta give her a chance,  don’t i?  it’s when she starts grabbing random sauces to throw in that i need to really be on guard,  ❞   he jokes.    ❝  you do,  do you?   okay,  then it’s settled.  i’ll make my spaghetti for you.  but just so you know,   you may get addicted.  it’s pretty serious,  ❞    he teases.  he nods his head proudly.  ❝  he’s the best brother.  he’s a few year younger than me,  you know,  but  ——  i swear,  sometimes he acted like my older brother,  always looking out for me.  ❞   he looks back at him fondly when he insists he wants to meet him,  letting out a small sigh.  ❝  he doesn’t live around here.  but,  that doesn’t mean the two of you can’t meet.  in fact,  i’d like that, ❞   he insists.  he and his brother were a lot closer when they were younger,  drifting apart once aaron started to go on mission trips,  but the love is still there,  and aaron would be proud to introduce klaus to him.  ❝  oh—-  ❞   he starts,  taking a deep breath and shaking his head.  ❝  you know,  it wasn’t necessarily so bad.  i suppose it was just compared to the things my brother wore,  my mother didn’t like.  he was always working on cars,  right?  so he was all about his jeans and his muscle tees and his baseball caps.  me?  i wore khakis every day.  when i was little,  i swore i’d be the president,  always trying to dress my best.  light colors on me drove her crazy.  the fact that i wore ties to school,  oh,  she didn’t like that.  ❞  he knows why.  maybe he didn’t back then,  but he knows what she had going through her head.  his brows raise,  shocked expression on his features.  ❝ eight whole weeks?  you didn’t talk for eight weeks?  i can’t imagine that.  i can barely go a day without hearing that voice of yours.  ❞   he’s not just teasing,  he means it.  he’s come to find comfort in that.  his gaze is soft on him as he nods his head slowly.  ❝  i do,  i really think so, ❞  he assures him.  ❝  like i said,  it doesn’t have to be about him.  it really doesn’t.  it should be about her.  your father,  it seems like he’s ruined a lot for you.  don’t let him ruin the GOOD things,  too,  ❞  he insists.  his grin grows,  happy that klaus really does have those good memories with her.  ❝  that sounds really nice,  klaus.  she sounds good,  ❞  he reassures,  hoping klaus really will allow himself to think fondly of her.  with a small laugh,  he nods.  ❝  i believe you,  and i’m trusting you  ——   so,  you’ve got yourself a deal.  ❞

❝  well,  it should have felt good because you’ve done a REALLY good job!  BEING here tonight has felt good.  ❞  this has been the most wonderful night he has had in a long time because he got to spend it with someone he sees being around in the long term  -----  someone whose company he enjoys more than anything.  aaron is someone he could get used to.  his head shakes quickly.  ❝  no,  i think you should let her have the run of things in the kitchen for one night!  see what she comes up with! you might have a budding gourmet chef on your hands!  ❞  he notes with a raise of his brows.  ❝  and invite me over when you do because i’ll be really supportive of gracie.  ❞  he means that.  klaus will have eaten far worse things than whatever gracie can pull together,  so he could stomach it and make the girl HAPPY.  ❝  oh,  hey,  what’s wrong with that?  then that just means i need to be there ALL the time for you to make it for me!  ❞  klaus feels as though he is always going to be searching for an excuse to see aaron.  he hasn’t felt this great in a long time.  his head tilts and he looks over the man fondly when he speaks of his brother.  there’s such RELIEF in him that he had something good to hang onto when he was growing up.  his eyes widen excitedly at the offer, giving several quick nods.  ❝  yeah!  yeah,  okay,  if he’s as great as you’re saying he is,  and i’m sure he IS,  then yeah,  i want to meet him.  hey,  we could go on a road trip!  or he could come here.  or we could meet halfway!  something,  i don’t know,  but yeah,  i want to meet him.  ❞  klaus just wants to know everything there is to know about him.  his features soften thinking about aaron wearing what he wanted back then and how ADORABLE he must have been in those outfits.  ❝  you’d be a GREAT president!  ❞  he claims.  ❝  how come you didn’t go for that?  and i bet you looked cute in khakis and ties.  and i KNOW you look great in light colors,  so it’s not FAIR that she wouldn’t let you have that!  ❞  it’s not fair for multiple reasons and klaus knows that.  he’s not going to mention the heaviness of it, but he will let aaron know that he recognizes it wasn’t fair on him,  just so he can have the comfort of knowing someone else thinks so too.  he knows how valuable that can be.  brows raise and he nods,  but as the other goes on,  he SOFTENS.  knowing that he values listening to klaus speak and WANTS it means everything to him.  ❝  oh,  just ask my siblings how they felt about it back then,  and they’d say something different!  they liked the quiet!  ❞  he teases.  ❝  yeah,  it was hard not to talk for that long.  i kept trying and then it’d just HURT and i’d be all mumbles,  so i tried to write down everything i wanted to say,  but i’d forget what i was gonna say, so it didn’t go very well. ❞ when klaus starts speaking,  his mind GOES;  he jumps through many topics,  and it was difficult not being able to get that out.  he lets out a slow breath when aaron insists that he should have those good things.  he’s right.  why is it fair for reginald to have destroyed EVERY ounce of happiness that they all had.  ❝  yeah.  yeah,  yeah,  okay,  yeah,  you’re right.  okay,  she’s a good thing then,  ❞ he insists,  telling himself that mostly.  ❝  hey,  maybe you could meet her!  she’d like you a lot.  and she makes GREAT cookies.  ❞  and aaron could have something of a mother figure that would treat him WELL.  he deserves that.  he deserves HAPPINESS.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

a bright grin forms over his features,  one that’s rare for jackson.  he smiles often,  but it’s hardly ever for his own expense.  it’s because someone else has found some sort of victory or relief.  his personal life has been STALE,  at least until he met klaus  —-  until he and klaus found comfort in one another beyond the hospital.  so he’s trying to open up,  trying to allow himself all of this now.  ❝  i would love that too, ❞   he speaks gently,  leaning forward as his thumb brushes over his cheek,  lips pressing into his softly.  there’s a PEACE between them that jackson finds to be even more comforting,  and he wants him to know that.  after a long moment,  he pulls back,  forehead resting against his.  ❝  i’m glad you’re here.  ❞   not just at his place;  in his life.  ❝ i was hoping you might stay a while.   ❞

eyes shut slowly,  head relaxing against him as eric leans into him and presses their lips together again.  a soft sigh drifts into the kiss,  hand sliding up from his chest to cup eric’s cheek,  holding him into the kiss for a few seconds before they pull away.  klaus doesn’t open his eyes right away,  simply allowing their foreheads to rest together and taking several moments to breathe him in.  ❝  what,  are you tired of running into me at the hospital?  i thought i was your best patient!  ❞  he teases,  nose scrunching up slightly before he opens his eyes.  ❝  -----  i’m glad i’m here too.  and i would LOVE to stay.  ❞

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

she understands where ally is coming from,  but she thinks this is different.  kevin almost died,  all of their friends did die,  and that complicates everything.  it makes everything so much more complex.  ❝  i want to be there for him.  i do.  but i can’t - —  i can’t change my mind about any of this.  maybe we’re not meant to be together.  maybe our relationship isn’t supposed to survive what happened.  but that doesn’t mean i don’t care about him.  i want to be there for him.   i’m worried he won’t let me be if we’re not together.  ❞   and she feels like she has a responsibility to be.  she keeps her eyes down at her lap,  her hands shaking slightly because she’s never been able to be open about this.  it feels GOOD,  but it’s scary,  too.  ❝  no,  ❞   she mumbles.  of course she’s wondered though.  of course she’s thought about it.  ❝  i don’t think i can.  and that’s —-  that’s not about my parents.  it’s about my baby.  that family.   that family deserves their privacy.  they don’t want me around.   i don’t think there’s anything i can do.  it just scares me,  though  .  .   .    thinking about that baby growing up,  asking about us.   the thought of her parents telling her that her father was  .  .  .     was something he wasn’t,   i can’t stop thinking about that, ❞   she admits.

❝  why would you trap yourself in a relationship that’s not good for you because you want to be there for him?  why do you have to be the one to put yourself on the line?  ❞  she asks with furrowed brows.  ❝  if you guys aren’t meant to be together and it’s hurting you to be with him,  then why does only what he wants or needs matter?  what about YOU?  ❞  that is what she is trying to drive home with every word she speaks.  it has become so clear to her,  especially in this conversation,  that maggie only looks out for other people.  never herself.  if no one will look out for maggie,  then ally will.  her head nods slowly as she speaks of what her hesitance is.  it’s hard to blame her for that and it’s certainly a COMPLICATED situation.  but she wants maggie to know that she has SUPPORT.  ally is here for her. she won’t dismiss her feelings and she will focus on HER.  ❝  there’s nothing you can do YET,  but  -----  when the baby turns eighteen…  you can contact her then,  can’t you?  is that something you’ve considered?  to get the right story out there.  to get YOUR story out there to the person that matters.  ❞

[followsfear]

& * pakstokas‌:

he shoots a bright smile back at him,  his head shaking slowly.  “i’m not sure it’s that easy.  wish it was,  though,”  he teases,  teeth biting down on his lip gently as he stares back at klaus with a look of fondness.  scott has always found support from a lot of different people in a lot of different ways,  but there’s something endearing about the way klaus talks to him and looks at him that makes him feel so much warm right now.  lips purse as he hums,  looking up to think about it for a moment.  “well,  i guess i’m not used to that being me,”  he admits,  allowing a smile to form over his lips once again.  his eyes scan klaus’s features and he shakes his head.  “can’t blame her,  you seem like a trustworthy guy.”  scott either has a really good read on people,  or he’s way off  ——  and it’s all because of how willing he is to get to know a person before making any quick judgements against them.  he wants to believe that people are good.  but with klaus,  he’s not sure there’s any reason to think otherwise.  he can sense it  ——  this guy has a big heart,  and that’s something scott is drawn to.  “i mean,  if the cat trusts you,  then i trust the cat,”  he insists with a grin.  he looks back down at the cat,  petting her fur gently as eyes meet hers.  he has a connection with animals that’s likely obvious,  but it’s difficult for him to pull back in moments like this.  he feels a responsibility for her, because klaus is counting on him, and because he always gives his all to those in need of help.  he sighs,  bringing his hand over to klaus’s upper arm and holding it gently.  “i think you did the right thing.  sometimes the right thing doesn’t always fit within the law,  i guess.”  he knows that all too well.  “so maybe you and i will have to figure something out,  right?”  his hand gives his arm a small squeeze as he smiles back at him.  “it’s sweet of you.  not many people would give a stray cat a second look,  but you did.  you took care of her.  no wonder she trusts you.”  at his question,  scott nods his head.  he’s been known to take in strays,  taking them under his wing and ensuring their safety and protection.  maybe he and klaus are similar in that sense.  “yeah.  yeah,  i would have.  you’re not the only one,”  he promises.  “do you have food for her?  a place to let her sleep?  i could help you out with that,  if you need it.”  

❝  it isn’t?  oh,  well,  with what you just did,  you’d make me BELIEVE that it is,  ❞  he shrugs and gives the other a warm smile.  this situation allowed klaus to put an immediate TRUST in scott because he EARNED it.  despite what others may believe about klaus being naïve because he’s warm and friendly,  he has a fairly good read on people.  he can tell when someone is GOOD and that is the sense he gets from scott.  this is a good person.  this is someone he can TRUST.  this is someone who has compassion and love and warmth;  it’s drawing klaus in and he wants to KNOW him.  ❝  okay,  then,  you should get used to it because that’s how people talk about you around here,  ❞  he notes.  it’s a good thing.  eyes shoot over to scott when calls him trustworthy,  eyes brightening to match the smile that crosses his mouth.  ❝  yeah,  i hope so!  ❞  he nods.  klaus wants to be someone people can trust.  he wants to be someone who people want to know,  want to love,  want to be FRIENDS with.  he wants to be someone others CONNECT with.  if scott notices that,  he’s doing something right.  his gaze falls down to the cat briefly and he takes a deep breathe,  hand extending to rest on her side and pet her fur.  ❝  well…  yeah,  she trusts me!  she doesn’t hiss at me anymore.  i think that means she trusts me.  so  -----  YOU trust me.  good.  i trust you too.  hey,  i mean,  how could i not after what you’ve done for her?  ❞  he insists with a shake of his head.  klaus is never going to stop thinking he’s some kind of wizard or cat whisperer for this.  his hand reaches back for scott when he feels the other’s rest on his arm,  gently placing it on his forearm to return the touch.  ❝  okay,  ❞  he nods.  ❝  then i did the right thing!  ❞  he believes the words scott says.  he seems so GENUINE.  it’s such a VALIDATING thing to hear how highly this guy speaks of klaus helping the cat.  he did it because it made him sad to see her hungry and alone,  but knowing it made someone view him so POSITIVELY is a comfort.  ❝  oh,  yeah,  yeah,  i guess,  you know,  it just…  SUCKS  -----  her being all alone and sad and probably scared.  i didn’t like it,  ❞  he shrugs.  so he gave her comfort.  that has always been klaus’s best way to help people  -----  never what his father and family wanted from him.  at his question,  his brows raise and he tilts his head.  ❝  uh… well,  she’s been eating MY food and sleeping in my bed!  so,  i mean,  YEAH,  i do,  and she seems happy with that,  but is that bad for her?  ❞

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

soft smile tugs at her lips as allison says she’s loved.  rosita knows that.  she sees it,  and she admires her for it.  she DESERVES to be loved  ——  something rosita won’t let her forget.  ❝  yeah.  i remember,  ❞   she mumbles,  nudging her shoulder lightly.  she shrugs her shoulders and looks ahead.  ❝  i think every celebrity has to deal with that.  everyone only gets a small version of you.  i like to think i know you,  ❞   she notes,  looking up to her again.  ❝  what do you want them to know?  ❞   it’s a genuine question;  she wants to understand her better.  she wants to see what she can do to help.    

she always thought that the love the world has for her would be fulfilling,  but it isn’t.  it all feels so EMPTY,  especially now that she has halted the use of her powers to get what she wants.  the love doesn’t come from the people who mean so much to her.  the love doesn’t come from the people who know her the best and that’s what she hates.  ( it’s mostly her father;  he never loved her or any of them.  that’s difficult to think about. )  yet,  the words rosita speaks do bring her comfort.  from her,  it means something.  ❝  you do know me,  ❞  she promises.  ❝  better than most people.  ❞  they’re CLOSE.  allison enjoys that so much because it is GENUINE.  a sigh drifts from her mouth and she thinks over the question,  furrowing her brows.  ❝  i’d like people to know that i’m…  just more than america’s sweetheart,  a member of the umbrella academy,  and a movie star.  i’m a mother.  a good one.  at least,  i’m TRYING to be.  i have wants and goals outside of the success i have and i’m always trying to be BETTER.  i feel like everyone might think i have it all right now,  but it doesn’t feel that way.  and its not material.  ❞  maybe it sounds selfish,  but she doesn’t mean it as such.  she wants to be happy.  she wants love and she wants PEACE and she wants to be GOOD.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

she sighs,  head laying back for a moment as she thinks it over.   she’s had her time with people like that too.  rick was trying to be that guy,  coming from nothing and doing anything and everything he could to get to the TOP.  while lila had been raised that way herself,  yet  (  so jenna thought  )  came out to be so much more real.  all jenna ever wanted to do was ensure that the less fortunate had a roof over their heads.  all lila wanted to do was the very wrong thing if it meant getting closer to jenna again,  and rick just wanted the money and the power,  despite what the cause was really about.  ❝  well,  i haven’t dealt with them all my life.   but  —  i had a husband,  ❞   she admits.  ❝  and he dreamt of nothing more than to be that rich asshole.   i could have handled that,  if he hadn’t sought out my ex girlfriend to do it.  ❞   her eyes close,  a small laugh immediately falling from her lips.  ❝  and now i’m talking about my exes while i’m in bed with you.  ❞   she hums,  lifting her head up again.   ❝  i’m sorry.  i just want you to know i get it,  at least in some way.   is this  .  .  .   your family?  ❞   she asks,  her fingertips mindlessly drawing shapes over his chest as she looks back at him.  her smile grows,  eyes scanning over his features as she nods her head.  ❝  i was hoping there might be.   i like being with you.  ❞   she likes that he is so far DIFFERENT from lila and rick.  that feels safe for her.  in some ways,  she’s using him as a stepping stone to move on,  but she can’t deny how good it feels to be with him.  he makes her feel so carefree,  so relaxed  —-  and that’s something she needs.  

brows raise at her,  surprised by her admission and surprised that she is being so OPEN with him,  but he is not going to push it away.  there’s something that feels SAFE about getting to know her and letting her get to know him.  they know nothing about each other.  their worlds don’t collide.  they’re SEPARATE and that feels incredible.  she knows nothing of him,  nothing of his family,  and he knows nothing of her.  deep down,  he finds that more exciting than anything else.  ❝  you MARRIED a guy like that?  why the hell would you do that?  ❞  he asks with a scoff.  ❝  didn’t take you for the type.  -----  what’d your ex have to do with it?  ❞  normally,  he wouldn’t ask.  he doesn’t care to probe further about people’s lives because he doesn’t want them to do the same to him,  but he doesn’t mind so much here since he is able to tell her who he REALLY is,  not this person his family has crafted him to be.  a little grin pulls at the edges of his mouth and he gives a single shake of his head to let her know it’s okay.  she can talk about whatever she wants.  he lets out a sigh and breaks his stare from hers to glance up at the ceiling.  ❝  yeah,  my family,  ❞  he confirms with a scoff.  ❝  they’re pretty bad.  stuck up.  think they’re better than everyone  -----  better than ME,  even though they’re the assholes that raised me.  and all their friends are just as bad.  i’m so tired of that crowd.  ❞  that’s why this feels good.  it’s DIFFERENT.  it’s outside of the people he was always forced to be around and he can’t get enough of that.  it doesn’t matter to him if she wants to use him to move on from her life or if she’s getting something else out of this.  it’s just another ESCAPE of his and he loves it.  he doesn’t want jenna to go anywhere just yet.  his lips curl into a smirk and his eyes find hers once more.  ❝  i like it too,  ❞  he admits quietly,  as if the vulnerability is DIFFICULT for him.  but it’s not as hard with her.  in fact,  it feels incredible to just be FREE with all of this. 

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

❝  think so?  i’ll make certain that it is,  ❞  he promises.  it’s what klaus deserves,  and it’s what aaron deserves to give himself,  too.  he hasn’t had that in a long time,  but it reflects who he is,  so getting back to that will be nice.  ❝  i am,  i am.  or,  rather,  it’s something i’m always working on.  trying to improve,  anyway.  gracie,  she’s a good little helper.  as long as you don’t let her decide which spices to throw in,  ❞  he jokes.  ❝  and i make a mean spaghetti.  looks like you and i are going to make quite the team.  i’d like that,  ❞  he assures him.   he raises a brow,  glad to hear klaus talk about some of the positives of his life.  ❝  you really were quite sneaky,  weren’t you?   i suppose i should alway be on high alert,  waiting for whatever it is you try to pull over on me, ❞  he jokes.  ❝  oh,  me?  absolutely.  i had all kinds of clothes i’d hide away in a chest in my room.  my brother would get them for me,  help me hide them,  help me find a place to change into them once we were away from our mom.  and he’d make me a sandwich on nights when my mother forced us to eat something she knew i didn’t enjoy.  my mom,  she always wanted me to play sports,  but it just wasn’t something i was interested in.  anthony,  he would lie to her,  tell her we spent all day playing catch.  somedays it actually made me wish we weren’t lying, ❞  he adds with a chuckle.  ❝  oh,  no,  you broke your jaw?  ❞   his hand comes up instinctively,  fingers brushing over his jaw as his eyes gaze back to him.  ❝  —-  or,  ❞  he starts,  chuckling softly,  ❝  we find you a new pair.  pair of your own.  that way,  you can wear them together when you see her,  right?  ❞  he likes the idea of giving klaus that.  it seems like a good memory for him,  so he wants to encourage it.  his brows furrow as he begins to explain,  clearly a bit thrown off by what klaus is telling him  —-  but he doesn’t pull away,  he only keeps listening.  ❝  oh, ❞  he begins,  nodding his head as he works to understand.  he doesn’t ask what she is instead,   he doesn’t need to know;  all he needs to know is how klaus feels about it.  ❝  i don’t think it’s about him,  klaus.   i just think it’s between you and her.  and if she makes you feel good,  i think it’s okay to feel that way.   maybe she’s the one good thing your father did do for you.  everyone has to have some kind of good in them  —-  right?  ❞   it’s what aaron wants to believe.   he hums,  his head tilting up.  ❝  well,  i don’t see why not.  i’ll be interested to see what you come up with.   though,  i don’t believe our styles quite match—-  but i’m willing to give anything a shot for you,  ❞   he promises.  

❝  i don’t really think you’ll have a hard time with that.  you seem like you’re a pretty romantic guy!  ❞  he notes.  and klaus loves that.  he loves how it makes him feel.  he’s a romantic himself,  so having someone to finally SHARE that with brings him such JOY.  a warm smile crosses his lips,  always seeming present in him once he’s with aaron.  ❝  OR maybe gracie is ONTO something with whatever spices she wants to add and your palate just isn’t REFINED enough to appreciate it!  ❞  he teases.  ❝  oh,  yeah?  i LOVE spaghetti!  i like any pasta,  really,  it’s my favorite.  yeah,  you should make yours for me.  ❞  klaus would like it no matter what because it comes from HIM.  brows raise and he nods his head quickly.  ❝  hey,  it’s okay,  it’s never BAD!  so don’t worry about whatever i’m trying to pull on you,  it’s fine,  ❞  he insists.  eyes BRIGHTEN at the story that aaron tells.  hearing happy memories from his childhood makes klaus’s whole body feel WARM.  he knows growing up was difficult for him,  so hearing that he had something to hang onto is comforting.  ❝  anthony,  ❞  he repeats with a soft grin.  ❝  well,  anthony sounds like a GREAT brother!  do you still talk to him?  i’d like to meet him.  -----  so what kinda clothes did you hide way that you liked?  ❞  he just wants to know everything there is to know about aaron.  the way that aaron seems to immediately get protective over klaus getting hurt brings a smile to his lips,  hand raising quickly to gently clutch his hand,  keeping it lightly pressed to his jaw.  ❝  hey,  it wasn’t so bad!  the worst part was that they wired it shut and i couldn’t really talk for EIGHT WHOLE WEEKS!  but other than that,  it was okay!  mom’s a good doctor,  so i healed up fine.  ❞  breaking his jaw was the first time he truly had QUIET in the world because of the drugs he had to be on.  it was the bliss of that that made the experience bearable.  brows raise at his suggestion,  head tilting as if he hadn’t thought of just BUYING his own pair.  ❝  oh!  yeah,  okay,  that’s a good idea!  ❞  he agrees.  ❝  let’s do that.  ❞  klaus notices aaron’s obvious confusion by the whole situation with grace,  but he doesn’t stop to explain.  the whole thing is too complicated for klaus to understand,  even having grown up with it,  so he doesn’t want to.  the terms he speaks in are the ones he KNOWS how to say.  instead,  he focuses on the COMFORT in the words the man speaks.  it relaxes him,  shoulders losing any tension they held and his eyes softening on the man.  ❝  you really think so?  well,  yeah,  i guess everyone does,  but HE sucks and i…  i don’t know.  maybe.  yeah,  i guess maybe that was the ONE good he did for us,  ❞  he sighs.  ❝  okay.  yeah.  it’s between me and her.  ❞  after a moment of quiet,  klaus allows a grin to form on his mouth again.  ❝  hey,  you know,  she used to let me sit with her at night,  ❞  he admits with a shrug.  ❝  after i had been out and didn’t feel well after or i had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep,  she’d let me sit with her in her little spot and i’d lay down in her lap and i could stay there for as long as i wanted.  i don’t think she ever told dad about that!  ❞  those memories are FOND.  he cherishes them because they were times where he was just allowed to be upset and get real comfort.  ❝  well,  YEAH,  but maybe you could USE some of my style to spice up your wardrobe,  so it will be great,  i promise!  ❞  all that matters is gets to do SOMETHING with him.  this time he has with him is SPECIAL.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

she takes a deep breath,  her eyes looking up to meet hers as she slowly nods her head.  it’s something she has constantly been telling herself,  that she is so much BETTER than what billy baker has made her out to be when he chose another woman over her,  even if it was only once.  she’s better than that.  she has spent over a decade trying to prove to the people in billy’s life that she is worth something special,  that she is GOOD and she is powerful and there’s very good reason for him to have chosen her over the life he left behind.  she always thought he was on her side.  she always thought she was defending her honor, but now,  she’s not so sure.  how can the people in his life believe that she is the person she is instead of the stereotypical rich white woman version of her they have in their heads,  if billy didn’t pick her back then?  ❝  you’re right,  ❞   she finally says,  nodding her head with confidence.  it’s refreshing to hear that from someone else rather than just the voice in her head.  because the voice in her head WANTS to comfort her,  and she doesn’t know how to trust that,  but she can trust winter.  she has trusted her with so much already.  ❝  no.  it wasn’t.  i’m a good wife.  i have always been a good wife.  i have always,  always given him so much love.  ❞   her words are spoken more to herself than they are to winter,  but it feels so empowering to say them out loud.  she’s ANGRY,  and she can project that to him,  but when he’s not around,  she slips.  she shouldn’t.  she knows that she hasn’t always been the best wife or mother in the way that her family needs her,  but that doesn’t mean she ever cared any less.  she does.  but when things have gone south,  it’s hard to remember the love language her family needs,  something she’s been desperately working on ever since her daughter returned from rehab.  it makes her question if she couldn’t have been what billy needed when he had to leave the nfl,  but regardless,  it shouldn’t matter  ——  because he’s the one who broke loyalty.  lips rub together,  her hands on her hips as she shakes her head.  ❝ i used to think that we had a connection that couldn’t be broken.  and  ——  and so many people tried,  you know?  they picked apart everything they could about me,  trying to get billy to see that i wasn’t right for him.  we proved them wrong every single time.  until we didn’t.  ❞   until now.  ❝  our connection isn’t what i thought it was if  ——  if he had to go to his ex girlfriend to feel whole.  that should have been me.  i would have done that for him.  ❞  

it's PLEASING to hear laura tell her that she is right in what she is saying.  winter KNOWS.  she knows that laura deserved better than that and deserved to have someone who would love her and only her.  she deserved to be appreciated and respected for the woman she is.  winter hates that and she won’t let it hold laura back.  it’s good to hear that she’s holding on to that confidence she deserves to have.  ❝  i know,  ❞  she nods.  she’s telling her that she is CONFIDENT in the words she’s saying as well.  laura is better than what is happening to her right now.  winter will stay right where she is,  being there for this woman however she needs her.  she wants to be the SUPPORT laura needs.  ❝  i don’t doubt that,  laura,  ❞  she assures.  ❝  it’s not your fault that he took that  -----  took YOU  -----  for granted.  you seem like a good wife and a good mother.  you seem incredible at everything you set your mind to.  if other people let that go,  that’s their loss.  ❞  winter doesn’t like billy after hearing about all of this.  it WILL turn into a scandal,  she’s sure,  and it will make winter’s job a bit more difficult,  but it’s about laura too.  it’s about not wanting to see her hurt.  she wants nothing but SUCCESS for her.  she squeezes the woman’s shoulder once more as a reminder that she has someone here to talk to, someone who will listen.  she’s not alone.  ❝  i believe that you would have too.  but you can’t control that he didn’t.  you can’t control that he couldn’t see that you were right there for him.  he made a CHOICE.  ❞  meaning,  she can’t take any of the blame for this.  winter won’t let her.  after a moment,  she tilts her head and looks laura over.  ❝  can i get you a glass of wine?  ❞  she seems like she needs it.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

he nods his head confidently.  ❝  yeah,  i know.  ain’t gotta worry about that.  ❞  he trusts klaus,  and he feels good with him.  he’s never had reason to question him.  ❝  you’re always surprisin’ me though,  baby.  that’s a good thing,  ❞   he assures.  with a small chuckle,  he tilts his head to the side.  ❝  boyfriend,  huh?  i’ll never get used to hearin’ that,  i don’t think.  ain’t mindin’ it at all  —  just new.  didn’t know how long it’d be ‘til i get to be someone’s boyfriend  —-  and show ‘em the world.  ❞  like he intends to do for klaus.  he nods excitedly.  ❝  she’d love the extra help.  she struggles a bit,  lotta standin’ on her feet and leanin’ over.  hard on her back and her knees.  know she don’t wanna admit it,  but it’s gettin’ tough on her.  a little extra help may make it a little easier to remember why she loves it,  ❞   he insists,  excited for klaus to get to spend that time with her.  he chuckles,  nodding his head instantly.  ❝  ‘course i am,  baby.  ❞   a place for the kids to play,  he wants to say,  but he doesn’t want to push forward too far.  not yet.  it’s on his mind every time he gets closer to klaus,  though.  his hand moves up to rest lightly on the back of his neck,  fingers playing with his hair gently as he talks.  ❝  lotta stuff to get in in one day,  huh?  ❞   but he’s not complaining.  his brows raise at his last suggestion,  arm pulling him in as he hums.  ❝  now,  that’s temptin’,  huh?   i may just be makin’ a mental list all day,  ❞   he teases.  ❝  it sounds great,  baby.   i’d love to have that day with ya.  ❞

❝  that’s a GOOD thing?  oh,  people are usually VERY put off by surprises.  guess that’s why we’re good together,  huh?  you like that!  you like ME,  ❞  he notes,  the last sentence drawn out and the happiness filling his voice.  klaus reminds himself of that every day  ( not that he NEEDS a reminder  -----  alden is excellent at showing that )  and it never fails to AMAZE him.  ❝  hey,  well,  maybe you won’t HAVE to get used to me calling you my boyfriend!  you know…  if…  if maybe someday you’re not my BOYFRIEND anymore.  ❞  his arms sling around the man’s shoulders and a smile creeps up on his lips to signify that he’s not talking about the relationship ENDING;  no,  he means something far happier than that.  he means them being MORE than just boyfriends to each other.  ❝  you’re really good at it,  though!  this whole boyfriend thing.  you’re GREAT at it.  ❞  this may just be the happiest klaus has ever felt in his life.  ❝  oh,  yeah,  i can definitely help her then!  i’ve still got a good back and knees,  so i can do all that stuff!  ❞  he insists.  ❝  i want to!  i wanna learn what she does and i wanna do it too.  i’d like that.  ❞  he mostly cares because these people mean so much to alden;  he wants them to like him and he wants to like them.  he wants to form a good relationship with them  -----  something that will make their future BETTER.  shoulders shrug at his comment about klaus’s ideal date,  a smile forming on his lips.  ❝  well,  YEAH,  but i just wanna spend all day with you,  ❞  he notes.  that’s all that matters.  what they do is just a bonus.  his smile shifts into a more playful grin,  arms securing around his shoulders and letting out a soft chuckle as he leans forward to press a light kiss to alden’s lips.  he pulls away after a few seconds and opens his eyes to lock with his.  ❝  yeah,  you should!  and i will be ready for ANYTHING,  ❞  he speaks with a teasing raise of his brows.  ❝  oh,  would you?  then…  is this something we can count on doing?  ❞  he WANTS to get his hopes up;  he wants to have these perfect dates together.

[followsfear]

& * kanimal‌:

small,  barely there smile tugs at the corner of her lips.  ❝  you shouldn’t,  ❞   she mutters.  she likes knowing that it’s something people don’t want to be on the other side of  ——  it means they have reason to fear her, and it means that that she has power. it means she has value.  lips purse together and she stares back at him for a long moment before her head tilts up slightly.   ❝  what if,  when you were paralyzed,  something electrocuted you?  ❞   she asks,  raising a brow.  ❝  imagine how that would feel.  ❞   she pauses,  shrugging her shoulders.  ❝  or imagine,  being struck by venom and electricity at the same exact time.   that pain could pull you different ways.  being immobile and uncomfortable all at the same time?  can’t imagine i’d like that very much.  can’t imagine i’d want to keep trying to fight someone with those assets.  ❞

eyes roll at her,  but he knows she’s right.  just as it’s not good to be on the other side of HIS abilities,  hers are awful and he had to experience it.  he’s going to complain about it,  even if it wasn’t her fault.  his gaze finds hers and he crosses his arms over his chest.  ❝  for me?  probably not too bad.  things that electrocute me feel pretty damn good actually,  ❞  he smirks.  josh is BRAGGING.  he feeds off of that electricity and it’s a high he has so badly missed since becoming what he is.  he can’t get enough of it.  ❝  for other people?  yeah,  that’d suck.  ❞  brows furrow at the way she describes it.  ❝  uncomfortable?  my powers are stronger than that,  ❞  he claims.  ❝  they don’t make someone uncomfortable.  it HURTS.  bad.  yeah,  it wouldn’t be immobile and uncomfortable,  it’d be immobile and excruciating.  ❞  the little grin that forms on his mouth as he speaks tells her that is does sound incredibly appealing.  ❝  no one would.  -----  so how would we manage that?  ❞

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

she glances around hesitantly,  nodding her head slowly at the thought.  she doesn’t exactly feel the same way.  he was still her father,  and though he reminded her every single day that she was a disappointment  (  whether it was with words or indirect actions  )  she still felt drawn to him,  like she still needed to impress him.  it’s why she sent him her book,  to show him that she has done something marvelous with her life that could make him proud,  only to never hear anything in return.  she’s here now because she cared for him,  because he’s her father,  and because she feels like she would be missing out on something if she didn’t come.  ❝  i guess i don’t really need stuff,  ❞   she mumbles.  she has never been a materialistic person,  but even looking around now,  she can’t imagine anything making sense in her apartment.  and though there’s part of her that wants to have something of her father’s for the sentimental value,  it feels like she can’t.  wouldn’t it belong in the hands of someone who actually made their father proud instead?  ❝  i  —–   don’t think he’d want me to have any of it,  ❞   she mumbles,  looking back to klaus.  ❝  is there anything you want?  ❞   anything in particular,  she’s curious.  

her hand rubs at the opposite arm,  and she shrugs her shoulders.  ❝  i don’t know.  sometimes,  i guess i miss it,  ❞   she admits,  but she’s getting the feeling that she’s not supposed to say things like that around the others.  she has to,  though —– it’s a lot for her right now.  ❝  it’s been so many years since i’ve heard it.  it used to feel like home,  even if  —–  even if this was never the best home.  ❞   but given all that klaus has said so far,  she’s sure he won’t agree.  she sighs,  looking up to  him.  ❝  he was still dad.  ❞   and yes,  she understands that maybe she shouldn’t be mourning him,  but she can’t get over that fact.  he was still her dad.  an awful one,  one responsible for all her self-hatred and her entire mundane life,  yet he was her dad.  and she can’t seem to get past that.  she doesn’t get to see her family,  so losing one of them,  it’s hard.  ❝  i know he wasn’t the best father.  or  —-  really,  a good father at all,  but  .   .  .   i don’t know.  it’s hard to think about all of that here.  maybe because i haven’t seen him in years,  or  —-  maybe because i still have so many questions from him i never got answered,  ❞   she admits.  

she has always lacked physical touch.  whether it be good or bad,  it was never part of her.  never felt the violence that her siblings did growing up,  never felt an embrace of her loved ones because she was always on the outside.  and the more she grew up,  and grew out of her childhood,  she still never found anyone to give her any sort of warm feeling like this.  she hadn’t ever been close to anyone,  she only had a list of acquaintances that she didn’t really know.  of course she melts into the hug now,  of course she holds him tightly,  her fingers gripping his shirt around his back and her head laying against his chest in a desperate attempt to feel something good for once.  for a moment,  it makes her want to cry,  because she was so touch starved without truly knowing it.  allison hugged her earlier,  and vanya didn’t have much time to think about it.  but now,  having this again,  it’s all coming to her now  —–  how desperate and how necessary it is.  she always wondered what happened to her siblings once they moved on.  allison’s life was all over the place,  and that was comforting  —-  but it only made her miss the rest of her siblings more.  ❝  were you  —-  okay?  ❞   she asks quietly.  ❝  when you went out there on your own,  did you find what you were  .  .  .   i don’t know,  looking for?  ❞   she hopes he found something good.  he deserves it.  she looks up at him briefly,  then looks away,  his words making her heart sink,  because that’s what she was afraid of:  rejection.   ❝   i —-  figured all of you would be too busy to come.  ❞   not too busy,  but rather,  finding an excuse to be too busy.  ❝  and,  i didn’t really know how to find anyone,  ❞  she mumbles.  she wished so badly she did.  ❝  it’s nothing,  anyway.  i’m sure it would’ve been boring.  not everyone’s into live music,  and  .  .  .   and you can’t really see me,  anyway.  i’m not  —–  i’m not first chair,  not the best anyway.  it’s fine,  it probably would’ve been foolish for me to invite anyone anyway.  ❞   she deflects,  assuming the worst:  they all would have been let down.  she looks up at him cautiously,  fingers tugging at her sleeve.  ❝  you would  —- ?  you don’t have to .  .  .  if you don’t want to.  ❞   but she wants him to.

❝  hey,  what do you mean?  everybody needs SOME stuff!  besides,  you can just WANT some stuff too.  and so you can take it now!  ❞  he points out.  he wouldn’t mind if vanya grabbed some of their father’s stuff for herself.  he’s sure the rest wouldn’t mind either  -----  besides luther,  of course.  but klaus can cover for vanya.  ❝  who cares what dad wants?  he’s dead!  ❞  he exclaims with a smile and a clap of his hands.  ❝  we can take whatever the hell we want from him even if he doesn’t like it and there’s not a thing he can do about it.  ❞  klaus freezes suddenly,  brows furrowing when he remembers what he’s capable of and what his father’s death means for him now.  ❝  oh,  god,  i might have to worry about him yapping in my ear all the time now,  aren’t i?  damn it!  ❞  he sighs,  shoulders slumping in defeat.  ❝  guess i’ll just have to find some way to make him go away.  i’m sure i’ll figure it out.  and no one can blame me for that!  ❞  he’ll just use this as an excuse to keep getting high.  his head nods quickly and the grin returns to his lips.  ❝  oh,  there’s a LOT i want!  i mean,  i’m sure he’s got some gold-plated stuff around here that i can take off everyone’s hands.  THAT’S what i want.  -----  ignore whatever weird thoughts you have about him not wanting you to take his stuff.  what do YOU want the most?  ❞  he’ll try to grab it for her.

his head tilts, confused, and his brows furrow.  ❝  miss it?  miss HIM?  miss THIS?  ❞  he certainly cannot relate to that,  but they had a different upbringing despite living in the same house.  she was always pushed to the side,  whereas he was part of the team.  sometimes,  he didn’t feel like he was,  and a lot of the time,  he didn’t want to be.  the grass is always greener on the other side.  ❝  yeah,  this never felt like home to me!  and he never felt like a dad to me!  that’s just the name i call him.  and he wasn’t just  ‘ not a good father, ’ he was the WORST!  the worst,  ❞  he repeats.  ❝  i think that’s pretty easy to think about here.  ❞  he read her book,  so her feelings on this right now confuse him even more. he thought her childhood was difficult as well and there’s someone to blame for that  -----  their father.  klaus isn’t one to hold grudges,  but he’s not going to make excuses for their dad either.  he was terrible to all of them.  ❝  oh?  you have questions for him?  okay,  that makes a little more sense!  what do you want to ask?  ❞  he questions.  he’s not going to reach out to reginald to get them answered.  he’s just curious

klaus values physical touch more than he can truly express to anyone.  he’ll take it from anyone,  anywhere,  but he especially likes it when it’s someone he LOVES.  that’s true with vanya.  he may not feel like he knows her that well,  but she’s his sister.  he loves her.  so getting to touch her,  to share this warmth,  to HUG her is so soothing to him.  he can tell by the way she clutches to him that she wants this  -----  maybe NEEDS this  -----  too.  it makes him feel even BETTER,  holding he as close as she will let him.  it makes him feel WANTED;  it makes him feel loved. and even when they separate,  his hands will remain on her shoulders,  refusing to let go of someone when they allow him to hang on.  klaus pauses at her question.  he’s unsure how to answer that.  no one has ever asked him anything like that.  ❝  uh,  yeah!  yeah,  of course!  but i mean,  it’s not like i was REALLY looking for anything.  i just wanted to get OUT of here,  you know?  but yeah,  i-i found a LOT in the world.  people,  mostly.  FRIENDS.  it’s GOOD!  they’re good.  yeah,  i like what i’ve been doing.  ❞  he doesn’t.  the people he’s connected with,  yes,  he enjoys.  but beyond that,  he doesn’t like any of what he’s doing.  it just feels like the best and easiest option for him. ❝ did you find what you’re looking for? ❞ brows raise and he gives a soft smile, shaking his head. ❝ hey, i don’t know how to find anyone either! ❞ as if that’s supposed to make her feel better. he’s removed from his siblings lives and he hates it. he misses them. that’s a huge reason he’s here.  ❝  no,  wait,  i love music!  i like live music too!  i’ll-i’d love to come!  that’s okay.  it’s not stupid.  invite me next time.  ❞  he just doesn’t know HOW she’ll do that.  he’s not easy to reach.  he doesn’t have a home or a phone or anywhere he can be contacted.  ❝  hey,  i want to!  i want to.  ❞  he wants to see his family again.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

she can’t stop looking at his smile,  feeling so WARM at the sight and knowing that she,  in some way,  has caused it.  her only wish is that he wasn’t in this state for all of this.  she wishes more than anything he could just be open and honest with her without the drugs and without the alcohol. he could be perfect for her, if he just let himself be  ——  this isn’t perfect.  this isn’t the kind of person she needs to be with,  especially right now when she’s working so hard to move forward and to better herself.  but she can’t seem to stay away  ——  because she loves this boy,  and she wants to believe that maybe having her in his life is the right influence for him  ( she doesn’t know how to not be there for him.  )  she offers a soft smile and nods her head.  ❝  then we always will be friends,  ❞   she assures him.  even if that’s all they can be,  it’s enough just to be in his life.  her brows furrow,  her hand rested on his chest lightly as she looks back at him.  ❝  is hasn’t? ❞   it’s been better for her,  but certainly not easier.  but she wants to know why it’s harder for him.  ❝  i missed you too,  you know.  i wrote you letters,  i just  —-  i never sent any.  to anyone.  i just wanted to put my thoughts out there, ❞   she admits,  her fingers lightly scratching against his chest.  she wants him to understand how much she really does care for him,  how he’s not out of her mind even when they’re apart.   soft grin tugs at her lips at the compliments he suddenly pours out,  but she’s not expecting what he says last.  her face drops,  eyes widening.   she has to replay his words in her head to understand that they’re real, that he means it. this is what she’s WANTED to hear from him for so long,  but she had given up hope on it.  he wasn’t the kind of person to say it, and she understood that,  but sometimes,  she worried he wouldn’t feel it either.   her heart races,  eyes staring blankly back at him for a long moment as she doesn’t know what to say.  she knows she likely shouldn’t,  but she can’t help it.  as a grin forms over her lips again,  she leans forward,  hand resting on his cheek gently before her lips press into his for a soft kiss.  

when he’s like this,  under the influence of all he is under,  he wishes he could be like this with her normally.  he wishes he could feel this warm,  this happy.  josh can’t think of the consequences of it like this.  he can’t feel the FEAR that comes along with it for him.  he only feels this happiness,  this openness,  this WARMTH.  he feels it directed at her.  ALWAYS.  josh still feels this way around her when he’s NOT dealing with alcohol or drugs;  he just can’t express it sober.  then,  the fear sets in and his knack for self-sabotage takes over.  but that won’t happen here tonight.  tonight,  she is getting the side of him he so often hides.  ❝  yeah?  you promise?  ❞  he grins.  having olivia in his life is something he feels is NECESSARY.  despite him trying not to,  he has grown attached and she is CONSISTENT.  at the end of the day,  he knows she is always there.  josh doesn’t know if he would be able to handle it if she wasn’t.  ❝  no,  of course not.  i mean,  i don’t know,  we’re just not as CLOSE anymore and i hate it and it feels like shit,  ❞  he admits.  he wants to be close to her because he admires her COMPLETELY.  his head tilts and his features involuntarily soften.  the confession makes a sigh drop from his lips.  ❝  do you still have the letters?  would you ever let me read them?  ❞  he asks quietly.  he’d like to. even sober josh would like to,  though he would not admit it to her.  after he speaks is when josh realizes that he just said something BIG;  however,  he can’t bring himself to regret it right now.  he can’t bring himself to think that it was a bad,  far too honest thing for him to say.  if he wasn’t in the state he was and that slipped out,  he’d be gone.  but he is staying right here,  hands planted gently on her cheeks,  eyes locked with hers,  and a soft,  WARM expression written on his features.  still,  a relieved sigh manages to leave him when he sees her finally grin,  an identical one forming on his mouth.  eyes fall shut as soon as she leans into him, one hand slipping down to wrap around her waist and pull her body against his as their lips meet.  he returns the soft kiss easily, matching her gentleness. he loves her.  HE LOVES HER.  the words are replaying in his head and it causes him to deepen the kiss.  josh lingers like that for moments until a smile breaks the kiss,  resting his forehead against hers.  ❝  you’re not mad i’ve never told you?  ❞  he whispers.

[followsfear]

& * wanlidas‌:

he raises a brow as his body sways from side to side,  pretending to think it over for a long moment.  ❝  i think i wouldn’t mind making you dinner.   light some candles,  some soft music  —-  we could really make a night out of it.  i like this,  taking you out for dinner,  but i love to cook for my man,  ❞   he tells him with a soft grin.  ❝  so that was your favorite accessory,  was it?   bandaids plastered everywhere, ❞  he notes with a soft laugh.  ❝  her clothes?  ❞   he asks,  his grin softening even more the more he continues to learn about him.  ❝ so what was your favorite thing of hers to wear?   did you keep anything?  ❞   his brows furrow,  suddenly more interested in this,  in making sure everything is okay with klaus.  ❝  what do you mean by that,  klaus?   you and your mother  .  .  .   it was complicated?  ❞   his relationship with his own mother was complicated too,  but hearing that klaus does have GOOD memories with her,  he wants to believe it was okay.  he chuckles,  immediately going along with klaus’s suggestion.  ❝  okay,  no more blue.  if you see me wearing blue,   then you have every right call me out on it,  ❞   he teases.  ❝  red,  is it?  i hadn’t expected that.  but you do seem to be the expert here,  so who am i to argue?  red it is.  i’ll wear more red,  ❞   he insists.  he pulls him in closer as klaus insists he’s usually worried about that.  ❝  i know so,  klaus.  i do.  and i can promise you,  it’s not something you need to worry about.  ❞ 

brows raise at the suggestion he lays out,  a smile instantly pulling at the corners of his features.  the idea of it makes his body relax against aaron’s leaning into him and arms tightening around his shoulders.  ❝  oh,  now,  THAT sounds romantic!  ❞  so of course klaus loves it.  ❝  i bet you’re a GREAT cook,  aren’t you?  you seem like you would be!  and,  hey,  maybe one night we can cook TOGETHER!  i’m not so bad.  i can make good pasta!  ❞  that’s one of the first life skills he got taught in one of his many times in rehab,  but he’s had no one to show that off too  ( or a place to show it off. )  ❝  SECOND favorite!  my FAVORITE were these bright purple and yellow socks that i stole from a thrift shop one time that i could wear under the socks of uniform without my dad noticing,  so i could wear them ALL the time and get away with it.  ❞  it was his little FREEDOM on those missions that he desperately held onto.  ❝  did you ever have anything like that?  ❞  he asks with a tilt of his head.  he hopes so.  he hopes he had some little escape from what seems like such a RESTRICTIVE childhood.  ❝  she has nice shoes!  i used to steal those.  well,  up until i tripped down the stairs in her heels and broke my jaw.  never borrowed her heels after that.  then,  i just stuck with some of her other clothes.  oh,  like,  she has these really long white gloves,  like the ones you’d wear to a fancy party,  that i LOVED wearing!  i didn’t steal them,  but i should have.  hey,  maybe if i ever go visit her again,  i will!  ❞  he’d like to see his mom again,  but he wants to stay away from that HOUSE and he knows reginald never allowed her to go out.  klaus stops slightly as he asks the questions,  eyes squinting briefly as if trying to figure out how to answer it.  he wants aaron to know about him.  he finally feels like he has someone who LISTENS,  so he wants to tell him anything and everything there is to know.  however,  it doesn’t make it all EASY to explain.  ❝  well,  okay,  so grace is PERFECT!  she really is the perfect mom!  she took care of us,  she read to us,  she loves us,  she’s the NICEST,  and she’s really great,  but  -----  ❞  he cuts himself off with a sigh.  ❝  she’s just not…  REAL!  i mean,  my dad,  he,  uh,  he MADE her.  she’s not ACTUALLY,  like,  a real living person.  and he’s a BASTARD,  so i think he just did it so he wouldn’t actually have to pretend to care himself,  and that kinda SPOILS the whole thing,  right?  ❞  klaus doesn’t know if she cares about them because she actually does or because she was programmed to.  ❝  hey,  DON’T tell diego i said that.  or allison because she might tell diego.  or just ANYONE,  okay?  ❞  klaus DOES love grace,  but he struggles with finding comfort in it sometimes the way diego does.  he’s always CONFLICTED with her and that has prevented him from getting truly close to her.   ❝  i WILL!  ❞  he assures. ❝ good.  hey,  maybe i could pick out some red clothes for you to wear!  things i think you’d look good in!  ❞  they might be a slight deviation from what aaron normally wears,  but klaus might attempt to keep it under control.  it’ll give him an excuse to do something for him, to think about him,  to be part of his life,  and that’s not something he’ll ever pass up.