Pairing: Beetlejuice/Reader
Warnings: Massive themes of suicide, death, depression, vague description of Beej's death
Prompt: You've been struggling for a while now and Beetlejuice knows that. But, it's not until he finds you standing on the roof that you finally let him know how serious things have become.
Notes: Me? Projecting onto a character? More likely than you think.
Massive themes of suicide, depression and death in this one kiddos. Ama is going through some shit and decided to share with the class. Please read only if you feel comfortable and safe to do so.
This is also a part of the Beetlejuice song challenge held by @foolurfriendsfunatparties and the song was What I Know Now
The house was quiet, too quiet, when Beej decided to visit his favourite breather. Usually, you'd have some form of noise in the background, music or the TV, Hell even just you talking to yourself about what you were planning to do. Helped keep the mind busy, distracted, which is what you needed at all times. So when he rocked up to your house and there was no sound, his first reaction was to panic. He knew you'd been going through some shit, but you had assured him that you'd be fine for the day as he went with Lyds to scout out colleges (or in his case, distract and beg her not to go), as the nearly eighteen year old was struggling with which ones to apply to.
He should have stayed, he realises as he rushes upstairs to check every room in the house, trying to see if you were there. The only thing that struck him odd was your bedroom window, which was a pain to open on any given day but especially now since it's freezing near daily, was pushed wide ope-
The demon is quick to make his way up, his body sagging slightly in relief when he sees your frame huddled on the flattest part of your roof, shivering and curled in a ball but very much alive. Beej is quick to retreat inside, grab the thickest blanket he could find and make his way back up onto the roof, you having moved to stand at the edge. He wills the panic off of his face and mood ring hair before walking up to you with a giant grin plastered on his face. "Hey babes! Whatchya doin' up here?" He'd make a wisecrack but his brain is so riddled with anxiety, he can't seem to think of one.
He pretends to not notice the flinch as you take a step back from the ledge of the roof, arms wrapped around you in an attempt to comfort yourself as well as contain heat, seeings you were out in the cold in just shorts and a sports bra. Odd choice considering the fact that you were complaining about the coldsnap this morning. Still, you're away from the edge. You sniff and attempt (and fail) to discreetly wipe away tears from your eyes. "Hey Beej. Thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow." You say lamely, ignoring his question as he comes up beside you to wrap the blanket around you. It's warm from being inside, and you can't help but tug it closer to you as Beej wraps his arm around you.
There is a moment's silence. "Were you gonna do it?" There is no question as to what he's referring to, so you just nod, wincing again when he sighs loudly. "Y/N-"
"No." You snap. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare." You're shaking from both the cold and the anger. "You have no idea what it's like. None at all. You're dead! You have no idea what it's like to just be drained and cold and empty and to feel like you're just the tag along, the sideliner, like you're useless and pathetic and disgusting all the fucking time."
"What do you think death is, babes?" He doesn't drop his arm, even though it's clear he's pissed. "Let me tell ya Y/N, it's not sunshine and rainbows. It's cold, damp, emptiness for eternity. Everything is muted, you know you feel emotions but you can't quite place them. Why do you think I wanna marry a breather so bad? Being dead is shit, everyday it's like a walking curse where you are constantly drowning in everything and nothing." You stay quiet as he continues his rant. "If I knew then, Y/N, what i know now, there is no way in Heaven/Hell that I would have put that noose around my neck. I would have taken every moment, good and bad, and treasured every single fuckin' one." You can see out of the corner of your eyes that he's pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut with red, blue and purple threaded in his messy locks. "Don't I dare, no don't you dare tell me what it's like to feel like no one cares, because I do. And I know that it might not be enough but, fuck babes, it should count for something." If anyone asked him if he was crying, he'd deny it despite the tears beginning to fall no matter what he tells them.
You take a breath, feeling bad for snapping and unloading onto him. "I'm just so tired, Beej. I just wanna sleep." You confess quietly. "I just want it to stop hurting."
"I know, baby, I know." He tugs you in close. "But dyin' ain't gonna cure that. I promise you, it'll be much better for you to stick around until it's your time." You faintly feel him press a kiss to your temple as you continue to stare out into the street. "Wanna go inside?" You shake your head.
"I want to stay out here for a while." You admit. "Stay?"
You didn't need to ask and he didn't feel the need to answer as he shuffles so he's holding you from behind, pulling you down to rest against his chest as he quickly pulls a hot water bottle out of thin air, made to never go cold, and placed it under the blanket and against you to keep you warm.
You stay silent for hours, just being held as Beej strokes at random parts of your body in an attempt to comfort, leaving you to your thoughts. When the sun finally comes out, rays of gold and pink peaking over the horizon does he finally talk. "How ya feelin'?"
You take a minute to respond. "Tired." You answer honestly. "I wanna go to bed now."
There is a faint sigh of relief. Beetlejuice knew that the problem wasn't solved and there were still a ton of issues that you needed to deal with, but at least you were safe for now. Wordlessly, he picks you up and carries you back inside and into bed, tucking you in and moving to go close the window when your ice cold hand snatches out to grab his. "Don't leave me." Your voice is tired, it's never sounded so broken or weak before. "Please?"
He crouches down so you can see him at the side of the bed. "I'm not going anywhere babes." He promises firmly. "I'm gonna go close the window and then I'll be right by your side. Not even a minute." He waits for you to nod and let go of his hand before he walks over, forces the window down with a loud 'thud' before walking back, toeing off his boots and removing his clothes until he's in his boxers and shirt, finally sliding into bed behind you and pulling you close again. You shuffle back and turn so your head rests on his chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly and yours wrapped around him.
"Thank you." You say quietly, both of you ignoring the hidden meaning. 'I'm sorry.'
"Of course." He replies. 'I don't blame you.'
Eventually, you fall asleep as the sun hits your bedroom wall and slowly starts to heat up the now frosty room, but Beej stays awake to try and process what just occurred. He knew, logically, that you were going to die someday but he wasn't going to sit around for you to off yourself before your time. Even if he had to sit through that again with you, he'd do it again in a heartbeat, just so you got to see one more morning. The world moves on around the both of you as you sleep, people waking up for work and school, preparing for another day. For them it's just another sunrise, just another day. But Beej knows that each one is special, because it's another day of being alive. And that's what you need to be. Alive.
For just another sunrise.
