Subway Footlong

Yeah I'm 12 inches. Whatcha gonna do about it.

[theagonyofdefeat]

[coleito]

[bonerrqueen-deactivated20161027]

how to respond to unwanted dick pics: step 1. destroy him

[anthonyamorim]

IMPORTANT SECRET MESSAGE IN THE SPAGETTIOS

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

You’ve heard of Netflix and Chill, now get ready for

IMAX and climax

[blogfrenzy-deactivated20170507]

Blockbuster and cockthruster

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

Hulu and Woohoo?

[zackisontumblr]

Amazon Prime and sexy time

[staff]

You asked for it. Here it comes. Messaging. Real, threaded, instant messaging. It’s in the latest Android and iOS apps, and on the web.

Yep: Now you can talk to a Tumblr.

This is a big launch, and it’s going to take a few weeks to get it out to everyone (we need to make sure our servers can handle the weight of your discourse). If you don’t have it now, you’ll have it soon.

Q: So, how can I tell if I have messaging?

A: Great question. If you see this smiley balloon hanging out on your screen…

…you’ve got messaging. If you message someone, they’ll get messaging. Eventually, messaging will cover the earth.

Q: What if I have other Q’s? What if I have A’s, even?

A: Well dang, we’d love to hear any feedback or questions you have about this thing. What works well? What kind of doesn’t? What kind of features do you want to see? Those are some of the Q’s that could use your A’s. Our support team is listening (and they’ve already put together an FAQ).  

[saxophone-kraken]

Fifty Shades of Gary

by me

[kowcub]

olivia why does this have almost 300 notes what did you do

[kowcub]

olivia the notes have tripled be careful

[saxophone-kraken]

What is even happening

[iraffiruse]

[today-ifuckedup]

Today, I fucked up... by merging my friends chrome account with my work account

Please excuse me if my explanation of exactly how this unfortunate thing happened to me is lacking; I still have no idea how chrome works and refuse to use it on the principal of it. A few years back I snagged what I thought was my dream job as an artistic director for a small fashion start up. The hours were long and the work was fast paced but it had been a few months in and I had managed to avoid any major embarrassments, a personal first as I am what could be considered the human equivalent of Murphy’s law. The company was growing and wound up adding a few new hires and in order to keep in touch the boss man decided it would be smart to take advantage chromes login feature that allowed us all to share files and logins faster. To put it frankly I didn’t (and still don’t) know jack about Google Chrome. In fact the only time I ever saw it in use outside of work was when my friend *Steven logged in to his on my computer. Que the jaws theme music here. Once everyone has logged into Chrome on their personal computers we gather around a computer hooked to a GIANT FLAT SCREEN TV and login there to go over somethings when, to my horror, I notice a few bookmarks saved hot bar of the more -ahem- “adult” variety. Not just a few like a dozen. All gay. The same ones that were on Steven’s Google chrome page. The two logins had some how merged into a giant embarrassing cluster fuck chimera. I felt every eye in the room fall on me and I turned tomato red, as the only gay employee at this place I had no scapegoat for this, no other possible suspect. I have never been laughed at so hard in my entire life. I tried to explain it wasn’t me but “It’s not my porn!” is not a very believable excuse. tl;dr shared my friends porn bookmarks with the office. Didn’t get fired.

[aesthetichi]

Hello there, August.

[adoxographist]

Behind my abs are….. BETTER ABS.

[deedragonlvr]

because it’s too amusing to not reblog

[footlongfromsubway]

Drake: You... you don't hate me?

Nicki Minaj: You idiot! That's all in your head.

Drake: But... I hate myself.

Rihanna: Those who hate themselves cannot love or trust others.

Drake: I am wicked... a coward... weak... and...

Beyoncé: If you know yourself, you can be kind to others.

Drake: I hate myself. But... I might be able to love myself. I might be able to stay here. Yes. I am nothing, but I... I am myself. I wish to be myself. I wish to stay here as myself. I am worthy of living here!

Nicki Minaj: Congratulations!

Rihanna: Congratulations!

Beyoncé: Congratulations!

Lil Wayne: Congratulations!

Jay Z: Congratulations!

A$AP Rocky: Congratulations!

Jhene Aiko: Congratulations!

Kanye West: Congratulations!

DJ Khaled: Congratulations!

Birdman: Congratulations!

Nebby: Congratulations!

Sandi Graham: Congratulations!

Drake: Thank you!

[loominaty-deactivated20151110]

i’ll just leave this here

[honeybaby-creamcheeks]

*breathes uncomfortably*

[fuckkyeahhgeorgia]

hoW COULD YOU

[grl-crushh]

[splantamello]

I am both of these people

[sweetboyray]

when is it my turn to be in a cute relationship

[isabel-lefebvre]

when is it my turn to be in a relationship

[distressingdisneydamsel]

Frozen is the first movie to show depressed charact-

Frozen is the first movie to be about an outcast-

Frozen is the first movie with magic-

Frozen is the first movie with a dysfunctional fam-

Frozen is the first to not have love at first sight-

Frozen is the first Disney movie to teach girls they don’t need to be saved by-

Frozen is the first movie where the princess isn’t only focused on marrying a prince-

Frozen is the first-

[edgythought]

This is priceless

[dykedekuremade]

Nonbinary characters should be like a regular thing because so much prophecy is so gendered.

"No man or woman can ever defeat me." “Lucky me then!”

[dykedekuremade]

This post is making cis people mad keep reblogging it.

[blakopium]

they teach theatre kids how to project their voices but they don’t teach em how to shuT THE FUCK UP