Your daily nature pics

(All photographs were taken by me)

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Another pride month with me not having gay sex.😔 Is this my fault for not leaving the house or talking to anyone? No. Homophobia is to blame.

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

It's always "WHY are you fucking your professional rival in a decade long situationship that threatens both of your careers?" and never "HOW is fucking your professional rival in a decade long situationship that threatens both of your careers?"

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Guys look how gorgeous this yarn is!

[mothercains]

HAVANA ROSE LIU via instagram

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Enough with the wet ass pussy propaganda in romance! Where is my female heroine who doesn't cream herself just from being looked at?? Where is my male love interest who says "Baby, don't even worry about it, I have your favourite water based lube on hand, and also I don't take offence because I know this isn't necessarily a reflection of your attraction to me or my performance, and yes of course we can use your toys too cause I know most women don't come from penetration alone."

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Okay this has been bugging me for months, let's settle this once and for all!

How did Svetlana get into Ilya's apartment to surprise him in Episode 1?

He gave her a spare key even though she was in Russia

She found his secret spare key (one single fake rock outside his apartment door)

Broke in through the fire escape

She picked the lock

Teleported in (she can do that)

Other

Voting ended onMay 26

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Me- "Religion should be purely personal, it should have no place in government and the decisions it makes for the public!"

Also me when I have a three day weekend because it's a religious holiday in my country- "Aw yes baby, i love hypocrisy and having time off!!"

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Wish it was socially acceptable to wear a big sign saying "i am recharging, please do not interact!"

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

My absolute fave HR fics are the ones that take place in the months right after The Cottage. Ugh, the tension between "oh my god, he loves me!! We're doing this!!" and "oh my god, is this going to work? What if he changes his mind? What if he realizes this is too difficult and he can find something easier?", being the happiest you've ever been and being terrified of losing it now that you know how good it can be, all mixed in with them still having to learn how to communicate and be open.. ugh, delicious!! Give me 68,000 fics exploring it right now!!

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Behold, my contribution to the fandom!

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Yeah, yeah, I know we all agree that Ilya is an amazing and considerate lover with all of his past and present partners, but I think it's funnier if he actually isnt some kind of wunderkind sex god, Shane is just so down bad that everything that man does blows his mind, and we're just getting the story from two unreliable narrators.

Meanwhile Svetlana is adding all of his regular hookups to a massive group chat where they discuss his pathological need to lie about his dick size ("he knows we have eyes, right?") and brainstorm how to gently tell him you're not supposed to make out with someone's chin.

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

I think we should bring back swooning. I want to dramatically collapse to the floor when things get too much.

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Me bestowing the greatest possible honour on a male celebrity.

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Mom said it's my turn to sit in the cuck chair

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

Half the time you people talk about Heated Rivalry it's like trying to make sense of a story one of my kindergarten kids tells me about their favourite show. "So one guy is a vampire, he's my favourite, and then the main guy turned into a bird one time, and Clive Slime... yeah there's a guy called Clive Slime... so he..."

And the other half you're having intense discussions about the exact shade of Shane's hole..

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

When Florence Welch said "Arms outstretched, back from the dead" and "I knew I came back from the dead to show you how it's done" and "Why did you dig me up for this?" and "Did I get it right?" and "Do you regret bringing me back to life?" all in one song, in six and a half minutes and I'm just supposed to go on with my life as if I haven't been fundamentally changed as person??