summer’s almost over and i still haven’t gone on a roadtrip with my best friend who i’m secretly in love with and watched them nap in the afternoon sun when it’s my turn to drive only to look away quickly as soon as they start to wake up and avoid their eyes guiltily for the rest of the evening, and had dinner in a cheap diner where i kept looking at their laughing mouth until i started wondering, recklessly, what it might be like to lean across the table and kiss them there, and then down at their hands playing with one of the laminated menu cards and trying to work up the courage to say something i couldn’t quite put into words, and gotten into a terrible fight in the middle of the desert about who took the wrong turn somewhere and said such awful, cutting things that neither of us really meant, and had to share a bed in one of the motels along the way because they only had one room left and it was one with a double, and woken up with my arm around their waist or slung over their shoulder and their legs tangled with mine, and lain in the trailer at the back of their dad’s truck wrapped in fleece blankets to watch the stars, and returned home feeling sad and empty to a house that seems too big and too quiet without their presence to fill it. what’s with that.
