Bitch, I’m Back

It’s Ella. I’ve had this blog since 2011; you can guess how old I am. Poet, literary translator, memoirist, collagist.

[grozat]

the long winter evening

[justineportraits]

George Spencer Watson Four Loves I found, a Woman, a Child, a Horse and a Hound 1922

[hollowtowers]

Take me! To the! Feeling!

[kosmogrl]

and you’ll do it again. and again.

[hollowtowers]

Where the fuck are you, Wilson Garrett?

[urgetocreate]

Allan O'Marra (Canadian b. 1947), The Bather (La Baigneuse), 2014,. Oil and Acrylic on canvas

[urgetocreate]

Emile Claus (Belgian 1849-1924), The Lane in Bachte-Maria-Leerne, ca.1902, Oil on canvas

[hollowtowers]

Your devotion is worthwhile.

Your attention is worth giving to your craft.

[urgetocreate]

Andrea Calisi (Italian b.1968), The Bridge and the Blue Knight, 2026, Illustration

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

agonizing over all the time you wasted or lost is useless. it’s gone now. you survived in the only way you knew how. doesn’t your survival deserve some recognition too?

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

like toni morrison said, “sometimes you don't survive whole, you just survive in part. but the grandeur of life is that attempt. it’s not about that solution. it is about being as fearless as one can, and behaving as beautifully as one can, under completely impossible circumstances.”

[enchantedbook]

"The Wild Swans" Jennie Harbour, 1921.

[kosmogrl]

[the-faerie-courts]

Anne Kelley

[hollowtowers]

Eight thoughts I had before breakfast yesterday:

1. Fitting rooms that have a “help and encouragement” buttons. 2. Soap that smells like your lover. 3. Dyeing my hair to look like a sunflower. 4. Less lethal fire. 5. Paint that reflects the sky. 6. A literal glass ceiling. 7. A hug that doesn’t have to end. 8. Sriracha ice cream.

[enchantedbook]

'The Little Mermaid' by Hiroaki Ikeda, 1971

[beingharsh]

Even the gun shows are gone now, even the scrapyards, the darkest, farthest barns. The strip mall half empty since my elementary years abides only chemicals now, the lot sequestered behind fences, its metal tanks checked each September for leaks in the seals. I lost my virginity in a basement here, lost my balance on a backhoe, had to pick the gravel out of my knees. For the prom, my date was the tank man just vaporized in the heat storm, his data screen open to augmented porn. This morning in my Honda pedi-plane, I flew over where we used to sled, old hills oranged now for warning, only the edges still brown. I saw a denier sitting outside in a lawn chair, her hair so long it met the ground. There’s no idling in the skyways now, which is why I can’t tell you if she was dying.

"On Returning to My Hometown in 2035", Idra Novey

[hollowtowers]

I hate when my brain has more energy than my body. Like, do I push it and capture this massive creative surge while absolutely ensuring crash and burn or do I respect my body and like...lose out on this? Damn, dude

[hollowtowers]

Heyyy, future self here, taking that break made it so I felt like a normal human come Monday morning so thank you for choosing to respect the body.