occasionally subtle
#extradirty
Mike Driver
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Claire Keane
Keni
⁂
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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DEAR READER
izzy's playlists!
will byers stan first human second
Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
tannertan36
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Bangladesh
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seen from Austria
seen from Japan
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@foreverdoesntlastforever
last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here” so i was like ummmmmm and she like “oh for like um” and she started to make this jerking off motion and i was just like yes
“pokemon will turn sleep into entertainment”
haha what. this sounds so dumb. how is this even supposed to–
“the idea is for players to look forward to waking up every morning”
They gave us Pokemon Go to get us out of the house to socialize. They’re giving us Pokemon Sleep to make sure we get a full night’s rest. They’re legit trying to make us fix our lives lol
the signs texting
starts a conversation then never replies: SAGITTARIUS, libra
takes like 5 years to text back: capricorn, aries, aquarius
reads ur message but forgets to reply: taurus, pisces, cancer, leo
starts a conversation and tries to make it last: virgo, gemini, scorpio
How schools kill creativity
Student: Wow! I got the right answer to that math problem using a different method that makes much more sense to me!
Math teacher: Wrong. Do it the way I taught you.
why doesn’t ellen give stuff away like oprah and call the segment ellen de generous like wtf
when you shake up a soda, do you blame the soda for bursting with pressure or the force that shook it?
A little louder for the racists in the back
“you think you’re the one who gets to kill me?” fghjvkfkkd
Trying to match this energy
I’m here for women summoning the Wrath of Goddesses to terrify asshole men
Oh look it’s me 😂🤦🏻♀️
Therapists are just…. Common sense filters
Me: yeah so I just don’t have the energy to get up and make myself a sandwich or wait for something to cook so I just. Don’t
Her: why don’t you just eat the sandwich components without putting them together
Me:
Her: you can just eat a handful of cheese and some sandwich meat. You don’t have to make a sandwich.
Me:
Me: what
Therapists finding loopholes for mental illness things is one of my favorite things about dealing with mental illness because it really helps me understand that just because a reaction is Common doesn’t mean it’s Right. Does doing dishes stress you out a lot? Buy paper plates. Do your obsessive thoughts make you worry about leaving your curling iron on so you drive home from work to check? Just put the curling iron in your purse and bring it to work with you while we work on tackling where this worry comes from. Symptom management doesn’t have to look like drudgery.
- Nora Mclnerny (We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it)
i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like
lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism
this is the cutest goddamn thing i’ve ever heard
I saw the penguin parade. It was a very slow parade, because the pingüinos take their sweet time and aren’t very fast walkers to begin with.
can I volunteer to be a penguin
I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.
So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.
Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army
Reblogging with Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III inspecting his troops.
Carry on …
I love everything about this post.
If I fail to reblog this it is because I am dead.
one time in 2007 i crashed the entire club penguin website. it was down for 2 days. i was banned for life.
many of you have asked, and so i shall give:
in 2007, my older brother gave me a small piece of information that would soon result in the shutdown of Club Penguin for a few days. he taught me a glitch in the club penguin system that, when sitting in the coffee shop, would make your penguin sit on the ceiling of the coffee shop instead.
and with this piece of information, i took off. i spent hours going to every server over and over, saying the same message: everyone meet in the coffee shop tomorrow at 7 pm in the snowball server. i did this in every single server, in every location i could find.
then, finally, 7 pm the next day arrived. snowball had a population rating of 5. penguins poured into the coffee shop, all awaiting my instructions. i then gave the next message, that of the glitch. i told everyone to wait exactly 3 minutes, then perform the glitch. they did. every penguin in the coffee shop was suddenly on the ceiling, and either the club penguin coding or the club penguin offices had no idea what to do, and no way to take us down. for a small glimpse of time, we ruled victorious – nothing and no one could stop us.
every great kingdom awaits its downfall, however. eventually, the website crashed. no one could go on the website for 2 days after that. my penguin was banned for life.
what did we do to deserve Hugh Jackman?
“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.”
— Madeleine L'Engle
