Idkwhatimdoingpleasesendhelp

Hello lovely !

[deejay]

[youngsamberg]

my favorite samberg meme is finding weird pictures of him deep in the internet with no context

please feel free to add your favorite no-context pics of sambags below

[roy-kent]

[minim-calibre]

[lemonsharks]

[back-that-sass-up]

what did we as the human race do to deserve him

[mysharona1987]

[melonmemes]

[realitytvshow]

[bullhop]

I heard that “ow” thru the gif.

[forevermisslady]

me: *on my period*

me: sometimes u gotta bleed to know that ur alive and have a soul

[ithelpstodream]

[saltwaffle]

why did shipping turn into a contest of “most accurate” or “most likely to be canon” why do i have to get a 40-slide powerpoint, three defense lawyers, a fortune teller, and a background check of myself and my whole immediate family to say i want two ppl to have sloppy makeouts in a car

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

*someone asks me to do something in my job, where i am paid to do things*

[friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman]

i love old ladies

i’m at the bus stop and these two very old ladies suddenly recognize each other and very sincerely one goes “holy shit you’re still alive!!” and the other says “i’m gonna outlive my husband if it kills me”

[hamletthedane]

Some carolers yesterday were singing “deck the halls” at church and changed “don we now our gay apparel” to “our plaid apparel”

…y'all that’s not any less gay.

[confide--nemini]

imagine being this homophobic

[forevermisslady]

Me last year: Omg its my friends birthday im going to buy them things and draw them stuff and

Me now: *texts friend "birth" and nothing else*

[snailtattoo-deactivated20210605]

true space facts

if u look up there it is

[nimarts]

nothing is funnier to me than the universal phenomenon of people telling stories of classmates who wronged them years prior but addressing those people by like, their entire name every time. as if they’re an old nemesis whose name hasn’t been uttered in thousands of years. people will recall to you in excruciating detail that time in the third grade that fuckin katie hughes pushed them off the swing during recess and you’d swear by the vigor and hatred in their eyes that this katie hughes girl is still out there to this very day, still tormenting other helpless people her age, still pushing them off of swingsets, and that she will never, ever be forgiven for the particular atrocity that she committed on that playground all those years ago

[ahsteria]

☼ tag yourself: greek gods ☼

athena: unsatisfied with a 99 test grade, could probably commit the perfect murder, underestimated, likes french bakeries, early riser

poseidon: chill, likes beaches, doesn’t try in school but still does fine, filled notebooks, kinda a dick sometimes, sleeps a lot, environmentalist, collects seashells

aphrodite: really good looking and knows it, acts sweet but will legit kill you if you get on their bad side, perfect makeup, fancy starbucks drinks, intimidating

zeus: says they can burp the alphabet but just burps twenty six times, gives zero shits about others, an asshole, racist, sexist, get off my blog if you’re a zeus

heista: warm coffee shops, has a sweet smile, journals, kinda sad inside, a bit of a loner, messy hair, easily likeable but doesn’t know it

hades: listens to emo music, spends 96% of their time on tumblr, hopeless romantic, looks like they can kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll, pretty stressed

[administrates-blog]

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 10 years

Me: