letters to you

i can't write you a song but i can write youu this.

[foreverstarlightt]

i'd cut off my right arm for you in a second but you wouldn't do that for me. and i mean, that's good for you, i guess, because you get to keep your arm. and your self-interest comes first to you, of course. naturally. but... yeah. i'd cut it off. that's all.

[foreverstarlightt]

i still think even now we could have been something brilliant but i also think something new and that is you did not see me the way you should’ve

fourteen

[foreverstarlightt]

i never want to speak to you or about you ever again

thirteen

[foreverstarlightt]

and yet even now when i am in the middle of chaos you are the calm my arms and heart stretch out for

twelve

[foreverstarlightt]

seeing you like this is so heartbreaking so heartbreaking so so heartbreaking

eleven

[foreverstarlightt]

i wonder what it is that makes me go back to you again and again even after you break my heart for the nth time.

ten

[foreverstarlightt]

i just think it's important for you to know that it doesn't kill me anymore.

nine

[foreverstarlightt]

all that is keeping me from talking to you is honestly this smallest piece  of pride that i have left how long, do you think, until it breaks?

eight

[foreverstarlightt]

it's always your name that comes to mind upon hearing love songs reading love stories always you

seven

[foreverstarlightt]

do you know... i have never loved anyone the way i have loved you

six

[foreverstarlightt]

I have little doubt in my mind where you'll be in five years when someone asks you about your past romantic history. Your mind will glaze over as you think of everyone you dated, and you'll recite the ups and downs like a story you've told too many times. And then they'll ask about the what-if's, the maybe's, the people who could've been, and my name will appear in your mind. Your voice will burn with regret at what you lost. I have little doubt of your regret in five years. But I wish you would regret it maybe a bit earlier, say like... right now. And maybe I wouldn't be a what-if, a maybe, a could've been. Maybe I'd be a had. Or maybe I'd be a still.

five

[foreverstarlightt]

Just know that I see you regretting it in five years.

four

[foreverstarlightt]

day by day that is how those living with heartbreak survive

three

[foreverstarlightt]

you stayed up late and i woke up early to a text message every morning to go from that to nothing well it rips my ribcage apart to shreds

two

[foreverstarlightt]

this is my heart broken pieces you didn’t want even when they were glued together this is my heart honest asking the questions it needs to hear the answers to this is my heart open trying to find a way to heal this is my heart in my hands after i gave it to you and you crushed it

one