Love life.

Ashley | 22| Forgiven I don't know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.

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If You Don’t Read Anything Else, Read This: YOU ARE WORTHY

Life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes we want something so bad that we lose sight of what's really important. People are always asking me for advice on relationships and the truth is, I tell them what I would want someone to tell me. However, in past relationships, I've found myself going against my advice. I often wonder why people come to me for relationship advice because I've only been in ONE successful relationship: my current one. Growing up I watched my mom go through an unhealthy number of bad relationships and I often felt sorry for her.  

As a young child, I wanted nothing more than my mom to meet someone who would love her and appreciate her as well as take care of us. Loser after loser would stumble through the front door with whiskey on his breath, instantly becoming my worst nightmare. Luckily, my mom's boyfriend's never abused us. My mom is a beautiful person inside and out. She has always put her children before herself and she has done whatever it takes to see us happy. There were times growing up where I wondered if we were going to make it, but somehow my mom always made it work. The sad thing about this is, I don't think that my mom knew her worth. If you don't read anything else please read this: YOU ARE WORTHY.  

I believe that I've learned a thing or two in my twenty-three years on this Earth. I know what it's like to hurt so bad inside that your heart feels like it's in the pit of your stomach. I also know what it's like to have the biggest smile on your face because in that moment you believe you're the happiest person on the planet. The key to living a worthy life is being happy with yourself first. You cannot be happy with someone else until you know your own worth and NEVER settle for anything less than you deserve. My grandma once told me that not everyone who came into my life was meant to stay and that sometimes God places those "temporary people" into our lives as our stepping stone to help us get to where we are meant to be. If there's someone in your life that is bringing you down, the best thing to do is to let them go. Toxic relationships are the worst kind of relationship and for me, my toxic relationship was with my father.  

My dad is an alcoholic, plain and simple. He claims to care about his family but the truth is that he only cares about himself. Growing up I struggled with anger and depression from not having my dad around. Nobody wants to admit that they were abandoned by their father but this is the cold hard truth. I felt unworthy because I didn't understand how someone who claimed to care about me was never around. When I was nine years old, I didn't understand how my dad could vanish for three years without one phone call or much less a birthday card. It took twenty-three years for me to realize that my dad will probably never learn how to keep a promise and he will only call when it's convenient for him or he's trying to play the good dad card. Once I made the decision to not care that my dad didn't care about me, I felt like one-thousand pounds lifted off of my shoulders. The most important lesson I've learned from my dad is this: you cannot care for others that don't care about you because it will only make you feel unworthy.  

If someone doesn't care about you enough to help you when you need it, then you don't need them. If someone doesn't care enough to pick up the phone and see how you're doing, then you don't need to worry about them. If someone doesn't cry over you, then you don't need to cry over them. Life is hard, relationships are hard. However, when you have those positive people in your life that make you want to be a better person, don't let them go. It's these people that show you your worth and make you feel like you can conquer the world. When life gets you down on your knees and you can't feel like you can go on, get back up and know that at least one person in this world thinks you're worthy.  

-XOXO Ashley

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