(Copy-pasting this over here, you know, for posterity.)
Well, if you thought I was dead, you've made a grave mistake.
I'm not dead, my surgery went better than great actually, I've only got one ovary now though.
With the exception of a few people, I've been pretty hard to reach, Hell, even for those people I've been hard to reach, or as Adrian put it when they texted me today: “I didnt know you had surgery, WTF Nessa.”
I had surgery in January, and it went well. It's the beginning of keeping an eye on my misbehaving, self-destructive lady parts though, but, I'm mostly good. 90% good, I'd say. Most of the crying is done with and all that.
I just plain didn't really feel like talking much. The time I spent recovering at home turned into cabin fever really quickly and even then, I just could not work up the energy for talking and making half-hearted conversations, and that's just the straight up ugly bitter truth. And being the way that I am, I am a little sorry for that. Not because I spared myself that exhausting ordeal, but because, APPARENTLY, I worried a few people. More than a few. A good chunk of people. And that's what I'm sorry about.
Being how I'd begun ghosting out of sight for a while before my surgery I figured it'd be no big deal, but I was wrong, and that happens often, and I really want you to know I was very touched.
I'm okay, better than okay, giddy-levels of okay. I'm working and having fun and maybe some time soon I'll even feel like I'm ready to step into another character's skin and get some of these really big shapeless emotions out through some fictional puppet. Maybe even my rusty magnet son.
I'll try and make the honest effort to at least open Skype again once in a while. Kinda had to get it off my phone when I was in one of those really dramatic moods where even the best intentions in messages feel like annoyances. You know the ones. Most of y'all know how depression works in ugly ways like that.
That's being handled, too.
I'm genuinely happy for the first time in a long time, I can tell you that.
Some of the weight from last summer's finally leaving my chest and I dont feel like crying when I see little ghosts everywhere either.
I'm good, I hope you are too.
Talk soon,
Nessa being extra.















