twenty. she/her. filo. kpop + formula racing enthusiast. us based (est).
i first got introduced to k-pop back in 2010-2011 when my neighbor showed me shinee's lucifer and ring ding dong. i didn't really start liking k-pop as a whole until around the second half of 2015!
my ult groups are currently ateez, enhypen, xg, nct dream, le sserafim, newjeans, and txt. (can you tell that i'm a hybe stan...)
i also really like (g)i-dle, &team, astro, aespa, boynextdoor, bts, day6, dreamcatcher, exo, fifty fifty, fromis_9, got the beat/girls on top, got7, history, ikon, infinite, itzy, ive, kard, knk, loona, monsta x (+ wonho), nct (as a whole, i'm just more of an nct dream stan), nmixx, nu'est, onlyoneof, p1harmony, pentagon, pristin, red velvet, seventeen, sf9, shinee, sistar, stayc, stray kids, the boyz, teen top, triples, twice, and vixx. (this is in alphabetical order, not in the order of which i like them. a good portion of those groups are my old ults or disbanded groups. i've have a lot of ult groups throughout the years.)
my fav f1 drivers are cl16, ln4, op81, and mv1.
i have only been into formula 1 since dec '22. i'm still learning a lot about the sport and the drivers as well!
my fav f2 drivers are al12, jd14, dh1, and ob8.
i have only been into f2 for a few months, it's the same case as f1, i'm still learning a lot about formula racing and its drivers as a whole!
my fav f3 drivers are pa1, db2, and sm14.
i also support hamda alqubaisi, bianca bustamante, and chloe chong!
i also used to be in a heavy emo phase (i never actually left it) and so i do enjoy a lot of emo/rock/metal music!
i'm not into much anime anymore but i'll occasionally rewatch some of my favorites or i'll end up watching newer shows with my boyfriend. the animes that i've enjoyed watching in the past are soul eater, black butler, haikyuu!!, ouran high school host club, and free! my current favorites are cyberpunk: edgerunners and chainsaw man!
i also have a side hobby of gaming! i wouldn't necessarily call myself a gamer since i don't play that many games. you'll usually find me on minecraft, the sims 4, roblox, or destiny 2! i also occasionally will play fortnite with friends (i'm just not good at pvp games so i tend to not play them that much; UNLESS it's arsenal on roblox. i kick ass lowkey in that game.)
the following things WILL get you BLOCKED !
my work and this blog is for individuals 18+ ONLY! minors are not and will never be welcome in this space of mine.
if you are under the age of 18, you will immediately be BLOCKED!
if you do not have your age displayed somewhere on your blog, you will immediately be BLOCKED!
if your blog is blank (such as no header, no icon, no title, no posts, etc.) you will also be BLOCKED! tumblr will automatically assume that you are a bot, and having excessive amounts of bot accounts as followers can harm a creator's blog. at the very least, please decorate your blog so that creators don't assume you are a bot.
while likes are always appreciated, they do not contribute much towards a creator's content. tumblr is very different from other social media platforms. therefore, reblogging our posts are the only things that will boost our posts and open opportunities to extend the reach of our content. feedback is also always welcome and is encouraged! it helps content creators know what their audience likes and what they don't like.
i'm, technically, very new to tumblr. the last time i was active on tumblr was back in 2017-2018. a lot of the information stated above was learned from other blogs such as:
kwanisms
ncteez
(this post and my navigation is also very inspired by these two blogs since i had no clue how to format either of these </3 they're also super friendly, really great writers, and deserve the follow <3)
the dividers used are from cafekitsune!
the photos of seonghwa, aki, and charles were all found on pinterest but they've been in my camera roll for a little bit so i don't recall who they belong to.
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: Having a movie night is a good way to spend the evening with your roommate. If it were not for the wine that loosens the mouth.
Warnings: TENSION, FLIRTING (you've been warned), alcohol consumption, a Charles picture (badly edited), Cars (movie)
Word Count: 3k
series masterlist
previous part
A/N: I'm sitting here like a fourteen year old whose crush admitted to liking her. that's how I'm feeling about this chapter. feedback is appreciated!
"You're kidding me."
"I would never."
Charles sets his wine glass on the coffee table as you clutch yours, though there's not a sip left in it. "How have you made it through life so far?"
You shrug. Charles looks at you with a look like you kicked a dog and insulted his mother. "I never got around to it."
That's only half the truth. Since you moved out of your parents' house, you'd actually had plenty of time to catch up on that sort of thing. But at some point you had decided for yourself that it was too late to get into it in your early twenties, when you should theoretically be out of it.
Apparently Charles doesn't see it that way. He reaches for the remote control and presses a few buttons until first a castle and then a bouncing lamp appear on the television in front of you. He then presses the stop button and turns back to you. "Get comfortable, because you're not getting off this couch again until we're done here." He places the bowl of popcorn between you on the couch. "And if you fall asleep, you'll have to watch the movie again."
You pour yourself some more wine and take a big gulp. As some of it runs out of the corner of your mouth, you wipe it away with the back of your hand. "Aren't we too old for this?"
Charles raises an eyebrow before pressing the play button. The screen goes black and you hear someone take a deep breath in and out before an off-screen voice says okay, here we go. focus. The grin on your roommate's face grows so wide it almost touches an ear. Speed. I am speed.
"You're never too old for Cars."
Apparently Charles not only works in the car industry, but is obsessed with cars. And even more so with this film.
Out of the corner of your eye you can see that he is silently moving his mouth to speak along with every single character while you sit next to it, eating popcorn and drinking your wine.
The beginning of the film doesn't particularly captivate you. An arrogant car with no team spirit as the protagonist. For sure he would make friends in the course of the film and appreciate them and then he wins his race. Very predictable. Even for a children's film.
All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you, Lightning McQueen says to the Porsche and you cringe.
"Wow, that's hardly bearable." You put a piece of popcorn between your teeth and wash it down with a gulp of wine.
Charles, who has slid down a little further on the couch, looks at you. "Lightning or the whole movie?" He reaches for his glass on the table.
You spread your index finger from the glass and point it at the screen. "Lightning. That was so slimy. Like anyone would fall for that." As Sally embarrasses the hell out of the red speedster, you thrust your fist into the air enthusiastically.
Charles laughs. "So you're not into that sort of thing to seduce you?" He sips his wine, you shake your head. He props himself up on the seat with one elbow, resting his head in his hand, and stretches his legs out in your direction so that he's almost completely on the couch. He dangles the wine glass casually in his free hand. The film pauses. "How else can you be seduced?"
If you hadn't caught the phone call this lunchtime and the conversation with Joris, both of which involved a woman, you might think that Charles is flirting with you. That maybe he sees more in you than his roommate and friend. And if your ex-boyfriend hadn't spoiled your mood before - or generally not crossed your life - you'd go for it, too.
You glance at Charles. He has taken off his jumper sometime after the second glass of wine and thrown it towards the dining table chair, so that he is lying next to you in his shirt. The strands of his hair stand on end after running his hand through them several times and his cheeks are slightly flushed. His green and otherwise alert eyes seem a little misty, almost certainly due to the alcohol.
And his smile. God, his smile is so crooked and beautiful and his dimples give him something childishly cheeky that makes your heart beat a beat faster.
Is he cute?, you hear Vicky's voice in the back of your mind.
Damn cute, even.
'Definitely not like that,' you finally answer his question, lowering your gaze towards your wine glass. If your mind is already drifting like this, maybe you should stop drinking.
"How then?", Charles asks, his eyes fixed on you.
Unsure, you look at him. "Why do you want to know?" Inwardly, you command your heart to give it a rest. Just because he asks doesn't mean he needs the knowledge for himself.
"Well, maybe one day a guy will come along who doesn't know how to approach you. And then I can give him a hint, if you want," he explains with a shrug, before taking a big sip of his wine and emptying his glass.
You try not to let on how much his answer hits you. Somehow you hoped he would want to know that for himself, in case he decided to approach you at some point. But apparently you haven't been listening to Charles properly for the last few hours.
That's what friends are for, after all.
You're my friend.
For not being a good friend to you.
And friends who live together fight in between.
Inwardly you slap your forehead with your palm. The wine is definitely to blame for your thoughts.
"When you remember little things," you finally answer Charles' question and set your glass down on the table, which Charles seems to take as an invitation to top up, and before you can do anything about it he has refilled your glass.
"Little things?" Charles lies back in his comfortable position and eyes you.
You nod. "Yes. Like the fact that I think peonies are much prettier than roses, or that I prefer muffins to cupcakes. Little things like that, that define me." You shrug. "It just shows that the person has been paying attention and cared about me."
Charles nods, and you think he glances briefly at your almost empty wine bottle before reaching for the remote again. "Good to know."
The film continues and you decide that little blue Guido is your favourite character. As Lightning McQueen pulls yellow Betsy across the road and chats to Luigi and Guido, you raise your eyebrows in surprise.
"Kind of strange to hear Formula One mentioned."
You notice Charles stiffen beside you, but his gaze remains forward. "Why?"
You reach - despite your brain vehemently telling you not to - for your glass. "Well, it's an animated film and the fact that Formula One is mentioned makes it kind of real. Although it's not. You know what I mean?"
"Do you watch Formula One, then?" asks Charles a counter-question, without answering yours. By now he is looking at you, but you can't interpret the expression on his face.
As you shake your head, he seems to relax a little. For whatever reason. "No. I used to watch it with my grandfather. Back when Michael Schumacher drove for Ferrari. We watched every race and cheered for the red team." You take a sip. "I lost sight of it at some point."
"Do you think you'd still be a Ferrari fan now if you'd stuck with it?" your roommate asks. Why he's so interested in it, you don't know.
You point to the two Ferrari fans from Cars and smile. "Isn't everyone a Ferrari fan somehow? Even if they're not?" You turn back to the film and continue sipping your wine.
Which is definitely not the best idea, because it seems to cloud your thoughts and loosen your mouth, because when Lightning decides to help Radiator Springs, it just bursts out of you. "Lightning is hot."
Charles, who has just taken a sip, chokes and nearly coughs his guts out. When he has calmed down, he looks at you, distraught. "Excuse me?"
"Yeeeees." You turn a little in his direction and pull your legs to your chest. You're sitting opposite each other now, except that Charles is lying down. "Not so 'wow, I'd like to fuck him'-hot. But his vibe makes him hot."
Charles wiggles his eyebrows. "I was once told I looked like him."
You have to laugh out loud, and you reach into the popcorn bowl once and throw it at him, laughing. He's not that quick to open his mouth to catch the pieces, but he gathers them up off his shirt and puts them between his teeth, grinning.
"Why are you laughing like that? Someone actually said that once! Don't you believe me?"
You realise that the wine has gone to your head, because you can hardly stop laughing. You can hardly breathe and tears spring to your eyes, which you wipe away with the hem of your jumper. Your stomach hurts and you force yourself to breathe in and out deeply. "No, I believe you. But Lightning is just hot, and you're cute. There's a difference between the two."
Your sober self, which is napping somewhere deep in your brain, startles from its slumber and would love to slap you for it.
Charles cheeks turn even redder and somehow the hem of his shirt seems very interesting because he rubs it between his thumb and forefinger before looking at you. "So you think I'm cute?"
This time he is quicker and catches the piece of popcorn you throw in his direction with his mouth and chews on it with relish. "Oh, come on. I'm definitely not the first one to say that to you," you try to somehow talk your way out of it. "I'm probably just the first to say that without flirting with you. My statement is to be considered purely objective."
"Objective, then?" He sits up a little straighter. "What would it look like if you were flirting?"
You put your wine glass down on the table and decide to actually let it go for today. You've definitely said too much, which you'd almost certainly regret tomorrow, and just thinking about how weird things might get in the morning makes your blood rush to your ears. So you reach for the popcorn. "I'm not doing that to you."
Your roommate raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Why? Are you that bad?" he quips.
You shake your head playfully. "On the contrary. I'm so good at it, you'd fall in love with me instantly," you joke, and have to grin, but Charles doesn't return it.
"Don't worry," he replies without taking his eyes off you. "It takes more than that to make me fall head over heels in love with someone."
You'd love to ask what exactly it takes, but why should you care? You're friends, he's made that clear. And you should definitely get it through your head. In your drunken estimation, the line of friendship you're walking right now is clearly too narrow for your liking.
You purse your lips and watch the film in silence. The mood has changed, no longer as easy-going as it was a few minutes ago. You would like to say something, but you don't know what, so you sit still.
When you reach the point in the film where Lightning pushes the King across the finish line - against your expectations - to finish third in the Piston Cup, you can't stop the sob that leaves your mouth. Out of the corner of your eye you see Charles looking at you. And then all the dams break.
"How can a film about cars - about cars, Charles - make me cry like this?" You wipe away your tears. "This isn't normal. What's the point? It's a movie for kids, for fuck's sake."
Charles' smile is gentle. "No swear words, please. The film is my favourite."
"The film is first class." You try to breathe but hiccup as a result and Charles has to laugh slightly. "Oh, shit. Do kids even understand how important the message is? That it doesn't matter if you win or not as long as you do the right thing and have your friends around you?"
"There are two more parts, by the way. We can watch those too if you like," Charles suggests and he looks a little offended when you shake your head and get up from the couch.
"Let me process this movie first and then we'll see." You grab the empty wine bottles and glasses to take them to the kitchen. Charles grabs the bowls and you put the dishes in the sink. Neither of you would manage to wash them properly yet and with a single glance you silently agree to clean up the rest of the living room in the morning.
You go together to the bathroom where you get ready for bed. You are brushing your teeth when your gaze catches his in the mirror. You smile at him. "But I would love to watch the films with you. I had a lovely evening, if that wasn't clear." You spit some excess foam into the sink. "Thank you for that."
Charles sticks his thumb in the air and washes his mouth out before answering you. "Anytime." He places his toothbrush in his cup. "I haven't had this much fun watching a movie in ages." As he looks at you, his gaze goes through your skin and bones. "Thank you for forgiving me. I couldn't bear it if you were angry with me."
As he combs his hair with a brush - yours - you rinse out your mouth as well. It's so mundane the way the two of you get ready for bed next to each other, as if you've grown up together and not as if you've only known each other for exactly one day. This familiarity between you should feel strange, but you have to admit yourself that nothing has ever felt better.
"I don't think I can stay mad at you for long." You tie your hair into a braided pigtail, which takes a little longer than usual because of the wine. "I like you far too much for that."
You don't wait for his answer, but leave the bathroom, grabbing your camera and phone for a moment. "Do you have your AirDrop on?" you ask him. "So I can send you the photo."
"Oh, yeah. Hang on a sec." He rummages around among the cushions on the couch for a moment until he pulls out his phone and taps away on it. You look at your screen, and see "CL iPhone" flashing up. You press his name and the picture your camera automatically sent to the phone app is now sent to Charles. He looks at it for a moment. "I look so good."
"Don't get too carried away," you laugh and move towards the bedroom door while Charles gets his bedding from the wardrobe in the hall. You watch him for a moment as he gets his things ready. "Good night, Lightning."
His smile is so gentle you could melt. "Good night."
After closing the bedroom door behind you, you slip into your sleeping clothes and climb under your duvet. With your phone in your hand, you lie down on your side. You release the key lock and Charles' picture appears.
He is right. He does look good in it.
Just as you are about to plug your phone into the charger and put it away, a message pops up on the screen.
CL iPhone would like to share a photo
Surprised, you click on "Accept".
You giggle and think about sending a picture back, but don't. "You can sleep in your bed tomorrow," you shout across the flat and receive a "Thank you!"
Grinning, you snuggle into your pillow and force yourself not to stare at the picture he just sent you. It's almost cheeky how he can still look so good after such a long day and a bottle of wine.
You put your phone next to your pillow and turn onto your back. To cope with this situation, you have to draw clearer lines. And lock away the thoughts that are running around in your head in between.
You have a crazy ex. And there's something going on with Charles too, although you don't know what exactly. It definitely wouldn't be the right time for either of you to develop feelings for someone. And as often as he's referred to you as his friend, you want to spare yourself the shame of falling for someone who doesn't want you.
You put your forearms over your face.
You have known each other for twenty-four hours. How can someone be so etched in your mind after such a short time?
You blame your emotional state on the wine, close your eyes and try to think of something else. Of cute penguins, puppies, sheep. But the thoughts circle and circle and always find their way back, as if they only know this way.
Always back to Charles. Charles. Charles. Charles.
