2/15
havent posted on this account in a while but.. ik no one cares on here either. my irl friends certainly dont. anyway im beyond tired. genuinely unhappy. hopeless. getting up tmr is gonna be hard i so dont want to go to school tmr. and then work for 7 hours. jeez my life has really become something i dont recognize or want. ik its going to change in a few months but it feels like whether that change is good or bad is out of my hands. everyday is so long i swear but i never seem to get done what i need to get done. havent had math hw all week and yet ive not started my philosophy essay. all ive managed to do is finish a book. literally consumed like 300+ pages in two days. still hasnt made anything in MY life seem better, though i would never make it through what Cameron Post did. i hate having to write abiut this and type it up and not let it out to someone who can maybe help me feel better. i drop hints. ik its better to be direct but i stg my friends dont care. idk why our group has to operate without sympathy or compassion. i dont know how to change it without it being weird or anything. but im tired. or hormonal. im not sure. but i think my defalt really is a negative mood but im finding distractions. not solutions. its fucked up and my heart is actually minced. diced. its been sliced. shattered. why was it so fragile in the first place? and why is it still Hurting? over what also? why cant i andwer any of these questions about my own body!? who knows. i need to sleep









