The Bright Sessions
noise dept.
Keni
Mike Driver
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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if i look back, i am lost
art blog(derogatory)
YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosmic Funnies
Origami Around
Product Placement
One Nice Bug Per Day
Fieri Frames
Love Begins
ojovivo
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
seen from Philippines
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@forsakenkalika
To celebrate the upcoming finale of the beloved manga, over 30 college students in Guangdong province, China have recreated the Chunin Exams from Naruto. Students cosplayed not only the series’ main characters but the proctors and background characters as well, and each were given an actual test based on the Chunin Exams in the series. (via Kotaku)
Ghosts
So the Mister is moving out this weekend, after seven years, and it is bittersweet. I feel all thelove, pain, regret, happiness, and see all the memories, good and bad, slowly dissolving in this house. I m not sure how to move forward and I’m a bit scared, but I figure I will have to make it all work. Otherwise… otherwise, I will crumble. For my kids and for the future, I need to be stronger. A few hours later: slowly moving my own stuff, as well. Sometimes it only takes a short time for a person to realize where they'd like to be for a long one. Happy.
#piningfromnarnia #bowties
Should I be happy or pissed off?
So… Fancy talked to me. Actually said hi. And I managed to say ‘sup. And oh god, he waved at me and everything, and I couldn’t stop grinning all the way through my lesson, even though it looks like the pretty little Pollyanna boyfriend transferred. Yeah. Bushbrows...
So... What are you going to do about it? It's perfectly obvious he and... We'll call her Schmina... Worked hard on this, and The Dictator just sort of went, "No praise for you!" And what's the deal with the dude who wears entirely too much LA Looks on his head? I mean, BOWTIES?! Only Bill Nye and The Time Lord can pull those off. No, really, I have a picture here somewhere. I'll tag your wardrobe-snuggling ass in it.
… It’s a pretty good song.
The Doctor’s Wife - The Clockwork Quartet.
Pining is right... It IS pretty good.
This one goes out to his aunt, who hates me
I don't understand what I've done to elevate your disdain of me, but really? It's a widely known fact that you're the bitch of the family. So for all the times you've had something to say to or about me, let me clarify a few things: You think I'm a bad mother? When my kids are sick, I make them better. When they are sad, I hold them. When they are scared, I talk loudly to the monsters in their closets and tell them in my best scary mommy voice "GTFO!" When daddy had THREE surgeries, I was missing out on seeing them un order to provide for them. When daddy left mommy for another woman, mommy said, "It's okay, mommy and daddy are still best friends, and that's more important." When my daughter asked if he was coming home at night, I replied, "Of course. He wants to see your beautiful face in the morning." When grandpa died, I explained the cancer and where he went after. When we moved, we moved to a place with cheaper housing so we could afford to give them the life they deserve. And you don't think I'm good enough for him, either? Okay, so tell me how when I handed him advice on a need relationship, offered my friendship and shoulder, unflinchingly gave him a place to live when other women would have booted him out, consoled him when his father died, made friends for him, got a boss fired for him, lied for him, suffered his bitch aunt for him, and made his father a promise upon our first meeting that i would make him happy come hell or high water? And you know what? I can say with the utmost certainty, that I would do it all over again, because he is worth it. Even with you as a family member, he is more than worth it. He is a wonderful, funny, handsome, charming, kind, protective, sweet, loving, silly, romantic, and beyond intelligent man. He is a fantastic father, a loyal friend, and he deserves to be happy, damn it. I feel honored and perplexed that he chose me to make him happy. He may not be perfect, but he is perfect for me. And whether you like it or not, Sue, I will he sticking around until he says otherwise, because I fucking love him more than I even know how to verbalize, and nobody can tell me that's wrong. So get off your high horse, you worthless, tired, bitter woman, and set about carving your own happiness, rather than trying to ruin someone else's, because I will not allow you to taint my life with your ludicrous loathing. You dishonor your family.
Turn, turn, turn
My best friends dad died a few days ago. Her family is in town now, and it's like watching everything in slow motion. The world is still turning, the sun still rises and sets, and people die. But he was a special type of 'people,' and he's missed. I have a very big mouth. It isnt when you first look at it, pretty average really, but when i say something, it distends or unhinges or whatever in order to accomodate the word vomit spewing forth. I are a carp-osapien. Child of Eden is a trip. I'm not quite sure how I'm good at it, but apparently wild hand flicking results in advancement? I should keep that in mind for use in other aspects of life... Hopefully no one thinks i've developed a condition. Mostly because i think i might be a condition.
Now that I’ve finally gotten over the embarrassment, allow me to tell the tale of my encounter on the couch with the Fancy.
Goldfish is in some club thing with him, which makes it awkward when it comes to the meetings at our house. But he normally doesn’t show, or dashes off early to the mall or...
Perhaps next time a vague "sup?" might change things up? The response will certainly be better. Fancy sounds a little high maintenance, dude. Your bank account gonna suffer?
;)
See or Saw?
I can't concentrate today. I'm not quite sure what's up, but my head is all... woooooooo! It may be due to lack of sleep, or perhaps its just chemical (by that, I mean my body's chemistry might be a little fuckered today and it's affecting my ability to not look like i'm drunk at every turn).
Hmmm... what to talk about? I had a house guest last week that made me want to kick puppies. I sort of knew what I was getting into, but at the same time, I was not all that in the know. I knew she had dabbled in drugs, but I didn't know she was still using. I knew she had a daughter and was bringing her, but I didn't know that I would be taking care of her child as well as my own kids. I knew she had a crush on me, but I had no bloody fucking idea that she would try to use my past relationship issues against me. And what's funny is that it didn't work. But she definitely made my best friends feel awkward and unwelcomed in my home. And she definitely made me feel like an absolute stranger. and she is not coming back, because I don't like when the people I love don't want to come around. and im not a babysitter. Punctuation and capitalization are unnecessary! Don't judge me!
I feel like her being here was good for something, though. She brought hubby and I closer and definitely made me realize that, as far as my best friends are concerned, i'm so fucking lucky.
Sooo yeah, o.d.'d on Ativan. If you don't know what that is, it's prescribed for anxiety. I sort of got confused. I took one at 4 and mentally reminded myself that, in 6 hours, I should take another one, as per the correct and safe dosing instructions. Soooo I confused myself around 6 and took another one thinking I had to at 6 o'clock, not at 10 o'clock. Let me just tell you, I was feeling like I was drunk and had alcohol poisoning. NEVER AGAIN, YO! Nope, hung up that hat and decided to deal with everything on my own. But stupid addict houseguest had been snorting Opana (which is a synthetic morphine often prescribed for cancer patients' pain), and thought "well, gee, I will just give FK some too!" Nope. Turned that down, while throwing up. I mean, who the fuck does that? I should have booted her then. I think I was afraid to. I think I might be afraid of certain types of confrontation, especially where addicts are involved. I've had people completely change personalities because of drugs, and considering these are opioids, and they are superhighlymajor addictive, I think I subconsciously did not want her to turn violent.
But, yeah, despite my own history of drug addiction, I turned her down, dealt with my own stupidity (I mean, really, something that is supposed to help with anxiety, and I can't do simple fucking math?), and got back to living. Was not sad when she left though.
It was like I could breathe again.
I don't like feeling oppressed. It felt like a bad relationship. And that just brought back way too many memories I wasn't prepared for. And the fact that I had to take care of her kid, as well, made me feel like I was living what would have been my future had I not taken a stand almost 10 years ago.
Today, though, I feel like my body is coming down off of the twitchy energy I had yesterday. I thought it had been the coffee, but could it have been a manic episode? I might be making myself paranoid or seeing problems where there aren't any.
Oh, and Antisocial Personality Disorder. If i'm not talking directly to anyone, however, but just blogging like this, for some reason I'm not trying to adhere to what I think the other person thinks of me. Like, there's no internal pressure to be someone I may not be. I'm still not sure who I am. There's alot of confusion. And sometimes, when I read about mental illnesses, I get nervous and start to believe I have it to. Sort of like a hypochondriac.
I should make doctors appointments for everyone. Tangent. Just so I can fix whatever problems I need to, get my kids whatever they need... and dentist appointments. And my tubes tied. well shit.
I should ask someone if manic episodes are common in conjunction with this, or if they can be induced by simply believing in them. Or maybe it really was the coffee, because I definitely ran out of steam last night.
Recommendation: york peppermint patty creamer.
I miss being a barista.
I want my new espresso machine.
And Kurtofsky to happen. (If you're not sure what that is, its me being incredibly lame and wanting the characters of Dave Karofsky and Kurt Hummel to get together on Glee.)
I am aware of my lameness. Don't worry about it. Gonna go shower or something, i'm itchy and twitchy, and my foot fell asleep.
Blue hairz... im thinking next might be some red or purple in with it...
Teehee
The Things We See...
Decided to jump on the bandwagon and start a Tumblr account. It's an homage to a blog I had in highschool (11 years ago). A little about me: I'm 28 years old I live in New York I have three children I'm not technically married, but we refer to eachother as spouses.
This Blog-beast: -will probably be filled with poor grammar, poor punctuation, few capitalizations, and frequent colloquialisms. -is an outlet for thoughts, feelings, and whatever speeds through my mind faster than a bullet train. -will generally have quotes, links, videos, pictures, and be updated at infrequent intervals. -may scar some people, so please be open-minded. General trigger warning RIGHT HURRR (I read alot of fanfiction, ha)!
Post numero uno: Am I still allowed to be bothered by the things that have occurred over the years? I am. Especially when I find out about them after the fact. Almost a year after finding out about alter egos and secret lives, I'm still bothered by feelings of deceit and insecurity. A little voice in the back of my mind, which sounds strangely like Sigmund Freud female, asks how it feels to be tricked by someone you've trusted implicitly. So... yeah, pretty fucking bad. It feels pretty fucking bad.
I have alot of mental issues. I have a major personality disorder, and as weird as it sounds, a gender disorder (not as bad as it sounds, ha, just sort of the occasional displacement). I have battled anorexia, substance addiction, alcoholism, and I think i'm fairly well adjusted, but sometimes I get to thinking...
And it hurts.
The human brain is a veritable booby trap for the soul.
Feel free to comment or whatever. I like input, but be aware that any flames will be met with my overwhelming desire to point out flaws in said comment, regardless of the hypocrisy I may illustrate in doing so. I am very intelligent, but often don't act as such, so don't be alarmed if there is a random hurhur post here and there. Everyone needs a stupid moment to break the tedium of daily life.
-FK
