Confessions From The Closet

The incredibly awkward life and times of a closeted gay teenager, and his secret affection for another (who has yet to notice his existance).

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

... It's a pretty good song.

The Doctor's Wife - The Clockwork Quartet.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Top or bottom? Would you ever do the other?

I'm guessing you mean sex and not bunk beds.

Um... I dunno. I mean, I'm man enough to take a cock up the ass. I guess I wouldn't mind switching.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

I don't even know

Should I be happy or pissed off?

So... Fancy talked to me. Actually said hi. And I managed to say 'sup. And oh god, he waved at me and everything, and I couldn't stop grinning all the way through my lesson, even though it looks like the pretty little Pollyanna boyfriend transferred. Yeah. Bushbrows himself.

Except they're not dating. That was... pretty sweet, actually. Although they did say at that weird ass singing club it was just  matter of time.

Anyway. So I was in the club, and Bushbrows plops down next to me and starts chattering away like some little old woman, which wouldn't be surprising looking at his cardigans. 

And then Fancy was singing. And god fucking damn, he has a voice on him. It's just so low and mangy and ungf.

And then the stupid teacher had to shoot him down about how it wasn't a musical or some shit that it wasn't worth it. That it couldn't be played at nationals so why bother. What. An. Ass. I thought this club was meant to be "yey happy funtime express yourself!!!1! ^W^" Instead it's just another place to be eaten up and shat out. 

It was the look on his face. He just looked so... God, I can't even describe it. It made my chest hurt just watching him. 

I don't know why he goes. He's too good for those dickheads anyway.

[cupcakes027-blog]

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

I would consume these every day for the rest of my life. Also I love how Hulk and Iron Man just get their names :')

[gregthetrain]

cinnamon bun pancakes

[twinfiresigns]

[apolloadama]

#you know it’s entirely possible that she would still be alive just very very old #i have a headcanon that at some point steve gets fury to look her up and finds out she’s in an old folks home and she’s lonely #she did get married after the war and had kids and grandkids but they don’t really take care of her or stay in touch with her#and in her old age she’s gone back to thinking about him and the war and the romance that never had a chance to happen #and then one day a nice young man in a suit named phil comes and talks to her #and very gently breaks it to her and explains everything and says steve would like to visit #and although she’s completely shocked she manages to say yes #so steve comes over and he brings flowers and chocolate and some old glenn miller records #and after the tears and the talking they finally have their ‘date’

[torqueandfriction-deactivated20]

Steve helps hold her up, and they finally have that Dance. it’s Steve’s first. It’s Peggy’s last.

[babe-chandeactivated-deactivate]

FUCK YOU GUYS.

[kittyvengers]

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Fuck, I love Captain America :')

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Big Jackets = Big Person?

I hate being kinda small and shit. It really sucks. I mean, the only jackets they sell are for really short guys or really fat guys, and I'm neither of those. I'm not, like, super tall or super skinny, but people apparently think it's 'twinky' or whatever the hell that means. 

Anyway, I like my jackets. They're big and comfy and better than the tight-ass crap you get anywhere else. People can wear huge shirts that are falling off them, but I'm not allowed a big letterman?

Wtf?

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Shopping Sucks

So, I have a girlfriend. And before you go all hater on me and start bitching about how I'm lying to her and even if I don't wanna be out I shouldn't lie to her, trust me, I've told her I'm not interested in dating her about fourteen times, and we've never kissed or anything. She's more like a girl who's a friend, and likes dragging me places. I'm gonna call her Unicorn.

Anyway, so she was dragging me around the food court at the mall, and I go to find us seats, but when I come back she's talking with him. Fancy himself. Of all the people she could have walked up to and started a conversation with, it just had to be him. And what did she say? That we were on a date.

... Seriously, why is it that everything's biting me in the ass lately? I swear my life was normal before all this shit. I think it's tumblr. Tumblr is full of drama. This is what people mean, right? That it turns your life into some weird train-wreck that's oddly fascinating to watch, but humiliating afterwards?

I just had to grab her hand and haul her the hell out of there. And the worst part? I looked back, and there was potential boyfriend, Bushbrows himself, wearing a freaking bowtie in public. I've never worn a freaking tie in my life, let alone some fancy ass miniature gay version. Good to know that's his type. 

Shopping sucks. 

On the plus side, Fancy actually said hi to me. Maybe next time I'll be able to say 'sup' to him. Oh, and Unicorn finally worked out that I'm gay, and promises that we can just be super best dolphin friends forever. I knew she was smart.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

He have a boyfriend? That suck for you. At least if he said hello it's that he probably don't hate you as much as you think. If you're too nervous to talk to him, you should try to smile, at least looking friendly.

He doesn't have to hate me to think I'm a douche. And when I smile I look like a gremlin. I've tried. He just thought I was pulling faces at him :/ But thanks for the advice and shit! :)

[forsakenkalika]

Perhaps next time a vague "sup?" might change things up? The response will certainly be better. Fancy sounds a little high maintenance, dude. Your bank account gonna suffer?

;)

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Sup... I always figured it was too rough and shit for him; he'd probably insult my vocab or whatever. I dunno. It could work. And it'll be easier to get out, I guess. Thanks dude; I'll try it!

Yeah, probably. He's Fancy. Real Fancy. But it'd be way worth it.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

An Encounter On The Couch

Now that I've finally gotten over the embarrassment, allow me to tell the tale of my encounter on the couch with the Fancy. 

Goldfish is in some club thing with him, which makes it awkward when it comes to the meetings at our house. But he normally doesn't show, or dashes off early to the mall or whatever.

So, I'm sat in my living room, and he comes downstairs, dressed in this wrap-around thing and pants that sound be illegal. And I thought to myself 'shit, he really is gorgeous'. And he said hello. He said hello to me. 

And my breath got stuck in my throat and it felt all tense and I could barely even mumble my 'hi, Davey'. Unfortunately, Hi now substitites as homophobia. And worst part is, I panicked, and blurted out that he should just see his boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Not that I'm bitter.

I was able to hide my shame in my pillow for a while. At least until he went away. And maybe next time I'll be able to talk to him.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

The Whole World is Shitting on Her

So, I was walking to school today, and there was this girl walking in front of me. I'm pretty sure she was in the year above me. So anyway, she was on the phone to her friend or whatever, and she'd had, like, a shitty day so far. Late up, no time to do her fancy shit, no schoolbooks, no time for breakfast, dog puke on her shoes... you name it.

And then. Oh god, then, right when it couldn't get any worse, she said it.

"I swear, the whole world is just shitting on me today!"

... Which shouldn't be funny, right? And it wasn't. At least, until a pigeon decided to swoop down and take a shit on her head.

I'm pretty sure she noticed my explosive snorts of laughter over her screams of 'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!' to the sky.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Idk. Chicago looks cool. Or that boat they use on deadliest catch. Or one of those badass cave places with all the lights and the little wooden boats because they look cool as shit.

[piningfromnarnia-blog]

Closed Closet Doors Make Introductions Difficult

So, hello Tumblr. Pining From Narnia here, for your amusement.

I guess this is an introduction, so some kind of backstory would be nice, considering you don't really know anything about me or how this all came about. 

When my mom and dad loved each other very much, they procreated and I happened to be what popped out after eight and a half months of chocolate cravings and serious PMSing. I grew up in Ohio, and it's where I still live today, and due to my lack of prospects in the future, it's probable that it's where I'm going to be living in ten years time. 

My mom died when I was just a little kid, and my dad remarried when I was in junior high. My stepmom is pretty awesome, and I also got a brother out of the whole deal. Since he's gormless and a fan of swimming, he can be referred to as Goldfish. He'll probably resent that later, and if he ever found this, he'd demand to be something big and badass, like a shark, but no. He's a goldfish. 

Around the same time, the most incredible and mind-boggling thing happened to me.

I fell in love. With another boy.

I've never really been in love before. Or had a crush. Except that one time when I was seven and I tried to give that androgenous looking kid a flower. To this day I have no idea if Sam was a girl or a boy, but I digress.

Fancy, for that is what he shall be referred to from now on, is probably the most incredible person I have ever met in my entire life. He's so... different to anyone and everyone else that it just blows me away every single time. I can barely speak to him, I'm so nervous. I've spent far too long sitting on the stairs listening to him and my brother talk about songs and shit, which is a whole new level of creepy.

Oh, and here's a fun fact for you. He hates my guts completely; not made any better considering he's one of my stepbrother's best friends. Maybe it's because he thinks I'm a homophobic prick.

Wow. My life is one big circlejerk of fucking me over for its own amusement.

But I digress.

Hello. I hope you enjoy knowing there's someone even more awkward and weird than you on the internet.

- PFN