Welcome

The Elder Scrolls

[fortheloveofsithis]

Vobara: I’m too drunk to taste this chicken

[fortheloveofsithis]

Drise: Gamer? Oh no, you misheard me, I’m a gay mer, just a really gay elf.

[fortheloveofsithis]

Vobara: I’ve come to view Sithis much the way I view Talos. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out

[fortheloveofsithis]

Vobara: Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of mead

[fortheloveofsithis]

Vobara: Mead is constant proof that the gods love us and love to see us happy

[fortheloveofsithis]

Vobara Spirit-Harvester: All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

Why do Bretons in eso just look confused I’ve made two and my second ones slightly better but they both look like they have no clue what’s going on

[daggerfall]

They're trying to figure out if they're man or mer

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

I’m a human

But my ears are pointy

What the fuck

[livia-arida-deactivated20201018]

Actual and reasonable explanation: So many male Imperial NPCs look like Abnur Tharn because his features are actually pretty generic

Pointless but fun explanation: So many male Imperial NPCs look like Abnur Tharn because they are all his bastards

[daggerfall]

Half the Imperial City is a Tharn by the time ESO begins

[beths-favorite-child]

That’s a little unfair- most of the residing population of the Imperial City is dead when ESO begins. It’s easy for the population to be half Tharn when the population is only 30.

[nostalgic-breton-girl]

oblivion vs skyrim thieves guild

Oblivion: No killing people! We’re not the Dark Brotherhood!

Skyrim: No killing people, it’s inconvenient. Also we’re not the Dark Brotherhood. But speaking of them, here’s a note, can you take it to my friend Astrid?

—————–

Oblivion: The beggars are the eyes and ears of the Grey Fox, the poor are under his protection

Skyrim: F*ck the poor, we have the support of the richest family in Riften

—————–

Oblivion: Please be in charge, you’re the best and I want my wife back

Skyrim: Please be in charge, we’re completely incompetent 

—————–

Oblivion: Here are lots of exciting thefts for you to pull off! Also a lot of the stuff will get returned, it’s the thrill of the hunt that matters, we don’t like upsetting people for no reason!

Skyrim: Sure thievery’s a part of what we do, but you’ll mostly be intimidating people, killing Falmers and bees, and poisoning people’s mead for the hell of it

——————

Oblivion: We’re in this for excitement and honour

Skyrim: We’re in this for gold. Also *reads smudged writing on hand* honour? But mostly gold

——————

Oblivion: Go to the Imperial Palace and steal an Elder Scroll

Skyrim: Go to the wizard tower in Markarth and steal a normal scroll

——————

Oblivion and Skyrim: I hope you like sewers

[daggerfall]

Himbo bread boy...

[beths-favorite-child]

No, this one is your call out

[daggerfall]

Oh no that's on @the-greymarch

[daggerfall]

I dont need this kind of stress in my life

[frostfallarcher]

sees altmer:

me: hello sexy skyscraper

[moon-grave]

That tesblr tweet you made made me snicker

You mean this one lmao

[saturniandragon]

Dragonborn: I'm bisexual.

Farkas: I thought you're a Dragonborn.

[sigil-stone]

[there’s a blinding flash that resounds through the entire college. ldb, dazed, looks around - arniel was just there, was he not? they steady themselves and see the dagger that had fallen to the ground. keening. they drop slowly to their knees, and with unsteady hands, pick up the dagger (which, by all means, should be killing them as they held it). they clutch it close to their chest as the horror of what had happened dawned on them. arniel… gods, the fool had made a sort of… replica of the heart of lorkhan, hadn’t he? and the experiment - what had happened to the dwemer happened to him, it seemed. ldb takes a deep breath, trying to steady themselves as they gaze upon the warped soul gem and what may very well be the last physical fragment of the heart of nirn itself, vaguely aware that they had witnessed history – and would never speak of it to anyone.]

the rest of the college of winterhold:

[17blcak]

Reblog if I can go on your page and write stupid things in your ask box whenever I'd like to.

[fortheloveofsithis]

Drise would punch a dragon

Drise has punched a dragon

Drise would punch a dragon again

[fortheloveofsithis]

Elewen: I see no proof that you are the mythical “Dragonborn” now anyways

Drise: Lets walk outside and then I’ll give you a personal demonstration, bitch