You know what, the more I think about it the more I am satisfied with what Allah has willed for me. I am grateful for the years and experiences that have led me to this day. I’m grateful for everything that has happened and exactly the way in which it has happened. Sometimes I agonised over trying to understand why, but that wasn’t even the important part. It is about acceptance. I refuse to give in to the feeling that time is running out. It is not. Everything will unfold as Allah has decreed and I am satisfied with that. I accept myself. It makes my heart tremble when I say the words out loud but I do, I accept myself.
I refuse to give power to the parts of this world that tell me there is something wrong with me. Only I know what fires I’ve seen on my way here. Only I can see the parts of my skin that are charred and how the smell of ash is never far away. I don’t care about the passing of time or the changing of my face. Those things mean nothing. Allah has taken the care to put me together this way, and to put me in this exact moment in time. He decreed this with the utmost love for me. So I accept myself and my circumstances. I accept myself because I will not commit the sin of rejecting what He has so lovingly and carefully decreed.
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