foster @fosterstransition - Tumblr Blog

Thought I’d pop back on tumblr for a quick sec to post this body comparison bc wow, when did this happen?

#trans #transgender #ftm #top surgery #body #chest

March 2016 (4 months on T), March 2019 (3 yrs, 4 months on T)

#ftm #transgender #trans #me #transition #comparison

I visit this blog less and less frequently as the years go on - a big reason for that is that I don’t feel ‘in transition’ anymore. I no longer experiences changes, but instead feel like my body and the features that testosterone produced are naturally progressing with age.

I’ve reached a point where I’m fairly comfortable with my body, my face, my chest etc. I feel more & more comfortable exploring my feminine side and my non-binary identity. I only wish I could go back and tell my past self not to worry so much, and to reassure them that one day it will all fall into place, even if sometimes it feels like it never will.

However, even though those days have passed, I do still experience dysphoria from time to time - which is why comparisons like this can still be so rewarding. I think what I struggle with most now is not being (as) visibly queer, and being perceived as a straight male. I always suspected this would happen because I’ve always felt genderless rather than a man (one of the reasons I doubted myself so much before starting T), and don’t get me wrong, testosterone was 100% right for me, but navigating this has been challenging none-the-less. Dressing in a way that makes me most comfortable, and most visibly queer, is not always possible for me due to safety - which means I often still feel a disconnect between the way that I’m perceived and treated compared to the way I feel. Still, this isn’t nearly as bad as it was before starting HRT.

For the most part, my life is great now. I moved states, I adopted a rescue dog, and I live with my amazing partner of 2ish years. I’ve continue to excel and surprise myself at uni, and I work around people who love and accept me. My mental health is rocky, but when I remind myself that I’m living the life I used to day-dream about, it feels so good.

So here’s just a little update to remind myself & whoever else that needs to hear it; transitioning (and healing) isn’t linear, but one day you’re going to be able to reflect and realise that somewhere along the line, you got where you needed to be.

2019 —> 2013

#transgender #trans #transition #me #comparison #ftm #non binary

day 1 versus day ???? i stopped counting after abt 2 years, but still grateful every day to have access to such a powerful n life saving hormone 🐛🦋

#ftm #transgender #trans #me #transition #comparison

foster-skewis

i almost forgot - yesterday was 3 years since my first shot of T (which also happened to land on shot day). I remember keeping track of the days and months since starting T so vigilantly at the beginning, but it’s nice to reach a place where that is no longer at the forefront of my mind - I don’t feel “in transition” anymore, instead just living. Very grateful that HRT has been accessible to me & that I’ve been lucky enough to have (extremely) supportive friends & family. I used to feel that I needed to hide my trans/nb identity with new people in order to have my gender taken seriously (and that is still sometimes the case), but now i often prefer people know - on my terms - because it helps others to understand the context of my life and experiences (and it means i can cancel those ppl who have a problem with it, instead of wasting my energy). I’m glad the past 3 years have brought me to this place of peace and comfort with the fact that I am not cis, and that I’ve had the opportunity to unlearn a lot of my internalised transphobia. Anyway, here’s me today (3 yrs on T) >> 2 yrs on T >> 1 yr >> 6 months >> 1 day >> pre T >> and babby fos.

Bonus comparison of my T related acne (today vs. 1 yr on T) bc getting acne was one of my biggest fears before starting T, so naturally I had to get a pretty bad case of it. I used to hide that side of my face in photos because I was so ashamed of it - but I think the experience helped me learn a lot about myself and my ideas of beauty. If you’re struggling with this sort of thing too, I’m here 💓

Thank u for listening!!

#me #trans #transgender #transition #personal #ftm #non binary #comparison

no matter how hard i try to actively embrace and love my body for what it is & how it supports me, dysphoria still manages to hit hard sometimes. when I’m struggling I tend to put photos like these together to remind myself of how much growth i’m capable of, even if it often doesn’t feel that way. so, i wanna post this comparison not only to help uplift myself but to remind others who might be feeling similar, that our bodies are amazing and durable and capable of so much. if nothing else right now, I appreciate it carrying me thru this crazy journey

(1 day on T —> 34 months on T)

#ftm #transgender #trans #me #transition #comparison #face

body comparison - Aug 2017 (21 months on T) to Oct 2018 (34 months on T)

Been having a bit of a bad time with my body recently so throwing some comparisons together to remind myself of my growth

#ftm #transgender #trans #me #transition #chest #body #comparison

fosterstransition

how do y’all get over ur hip dysphoria?¿ asking for a friend

vitative-deactivated20181101

Overlarge flannel shirts, big shorts that don’t cling to my body, and huge jumpers! During the warmer months (like the hellish summer that’s approaching us Aussies right now) I tend to wear loose, light flannels, open on top of t-shirts. That way I don’t overheat, but still achieve gender euphoria. Also, take notice of cis dudes! Some of them got curvy butts and prominent hips. (I have the same tactic for chest dysphoria when I bind, because heaps of cis dudes have really shapely chests.) I’m not on Testosterone yet, but I’ve heard that T can move fat from your hip area to the front of the belly… But you’re on T, so you have that advantage over me lmao. I think you pass really amazingly well, if that helps at all!!!

Hmmm, also. Trans men’s selfies help me heaps, cuz there are a lot of attractive and beefy big dudes that I really relate to. As someone who’s currently unable to begin his physical/surgical/hormonal transition, I think not aspiring to a certain standard of presentation is really healthy. It’s common for trans dudes, in my experience, to constantly wish we were more chiselled, or more thin, or more androgynous, or more… whatever. So pictures of other irl trans guys really help remind me that I probably pass better than I assume. It’s healthy to work towards improving your physical form, but I think it’s super important to realise when you’re seeing flaws that don’t necessarily exist.

fosterstransition

ur amazing and i appreciate ur advice a lot 💖

how do y’all get over ur hip dysphoria?¿ asking for a friend

#me #transgender #ftm #transition