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not sure if this blog is still active but its worth a shot. im questioning if im a median system and i would like input from more people about it.

so, for context, i have cptsd. pretty badly. the majority of my trauma i experienced as an adult during an abusive relationship from 19-24 but i also have pretty significant childhood trauma. i get the standard cptsd symptoms like (emotional and regular) flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilence, many many triggers etc, but im having a lot of trouble understanding and coping with my dissociative symptoms.

when i was maybe 13 or 14, after nearly 10 years bullying, ostracisation, and the pressure of school as an undiagnosed autustic adhd child, i was pretty mentally ill already. i had really bad intrusive thoughts (i unquestionably have ocd as well) and a lot of self hate that was so overwhelming that i made the conscious decision to make the negative self hate talk come from "someone else" in my head. i coped by changing the pronouns from i to you so it was someone else berating me instead of myself.

fast forward to my adulthood and i spend 6 years in a deeply abusive relationship. i guess the details don't matter too much but just know it involved a lot of gaslighting, beration, resentment, and specifically a lot of blame. i was the reason the relationship was failing, i had to fix things or else they would leave me, stuff like that.

im out now and now im having an experience there's "me", my normal self, there's the voice in mv head that berates me, and what feels like a different "me" that i become when deeply triggered or in a flashback or otherwise really emotionally activated. i have conversations with the mean voice constantly, usually me having (and often failing) to fight back against what it says. example:

me: *loses something* it: "you're such a fucking idiot" "shut up. it's fine" "no. it's not fine. you lose shit every day, important shit." "it wasn't that important" "one day you're going to completely lose something that is incredibly important and it'll be your own fault" "shut UPPP" etc etc

so then with the emotional part of me it feels like i literally regress into the mindset of how i was during my abuse. like actually feeling worthless and a burden and stupid and all that stuff, to the point where someone saying the opposite genuinely does not register as even possible, let alone could actually apply to me it's to the point where if im really emotionally activiated (flashback meltdown etc) my partner will comfort me and say "im not x" and i, almost involuntarily. will reply with "yes i am" or something like that

so alllll of that is to say. system?? my partner, who is a fully diagnosed DID system, is suggesting that i may be a median system. i don't have distinct alters that switch in and out but i have a literal separate voice in mv head (not hallucinations) that i get into arguments with and uses "you" to refer to me, and a form of myself that feels like a previous version of me that has outdated beliefs about myself and understanding of the current situation im in. if i were to use terms related to systems, they seem to "co-host" with me when im really upset.

i know i just threw a lot at you so it's okay if you don't have a good response, just throwing it out there. thanks!

As a general rule, we do not comment on whether we think someone may be a system or not. That said, if seeing yourself/yourselves as median is helpful or useful, if it makes sense to you, and especially if it helps y'all communicate better and be better to each other, then go for it.

My last piece of advice is to really try to understand each other. Instead of telling the mean voice to shut up, it may help (MAY help) to ask that voice why it's behaving the way it is, and to try to get that voice on board with actions that help you both. Like if you can't find something, ask the voice where it thinks you might have left it, and what that voice suggests you do to help not lose things so often. (We suggest having specific safe places for certain things where they always go. We keep important papers in a particular drawer of our craft+misc cabinet, for instance, and our keys always get hung up on the coat rack as soon as we walk in the door.)

Hope this helps! ~The Willows

#median system #median systems #magicallymedian

Hello! So, even though we identify as a median system, we sometimes feel like we are faking it. For about a year now, one day, I started feeling like someone else, like I became another person. My behavior would change, would have a different image of self, and id feel a little dissociated, disconnected. It even felt like my movement was "assisted". After a month of researching, I didnt feel we met the diagnostic criteria for any disociative disorders so I asked, why do I become other people? I found out about other forms of plurality and explored them. Not sure how you feel about created plurality but thought, maybe we accidentaly did that. After paying attention to and interacting with them, they seem to have developed over time. Sometimes when I shift, it feels stronger, like it varies how much I become them, especially under stress. We wanted to get your thoughts on this.

We firmly believe in created plurality, whether it's creation from scratch like a lot of folks with tulpas, or elaborating a fragment. That kind of elaboration can be of a completely separate headmate, or a median facet. And that can happen unintentionally, but for it to be unintentional creation you still would have had to put in the work - thinking about this other self, considering their perspective, focusing on them, etc. Identity formations can still happen without being created by you though.

What it means and how you identify is up to you. Take time to really get to know this other self when you're in your standard self state - see if you can talk to them in your head: picture them being with you and direct your thoughts towards them, listen for responses. Those responses may feel like you but that's normal, it can take time to get distinctly different mental voices, especially for medians which sometimes never get distinctly different mental sounds, but instead maybe somewhat distinctly different vocab and word choice and vibe and feel.

And if you can't contact this other self, take note of when you shift into them and what sorts of things might be triggering this change (positively or negatively or neutral, we're talking about switching triggers not trauma triggers,) and you might have better luck contacting your original self while you're in this new self.

Best of luck!

#median systems #magicallymedian #median plurality

how can you tell the difference between being median and being fully multiple? we're distinctly separate but still similar in a lot of ways, we share memory and we blur into each other or passively influence each other very easily. we definitely consider ourselves parts of one person but that isn't really a specific, defined person, other than our body - it's more "we're all part of each other" rather than "we're all aspects of X". I know there aren't really hard lines and that only we can decide for sure, but I feel like I don't fully understand the definition and that makes it a lot harder to say whether it fits us.

In our opinion - and of course other people are free to define it differently - the key thing distinguishing medians from multiples is identity. Multiples identify as separate people. They may blur and influence and overlap, but fundamentally they're not the same person. (For however you define "person".)

Medians may identify as separate individuals, but fundamentally they are one person. Maybe different facets of the same person, the same person at different ages, maybe they all depend on one core person. But there does exist a person, perhaps a gestalt, perhaps a mix or blend, perhaps a core - that intrinsically is connected to their personhood.

And there's no real sharp dividing line. Nothing objective you can really point to. Some of you may disagree if you're median or multiple. It's a spectrum, not a binary.

Hope this helps!

#magicallymedian #median systems #multiple system

hi, i've been questioning for a while if I am Median or not and need someone to help me out with this. So, for starters, I have had MaDD for a while, literal years. It started with immersive daydreaming but quickly became a huge coping mechanism turned awry. This info is just in case this is some byproduct of that. (Also I have expressed interest in the IFS therapy style.)

Ever since I was 12, I would make vent animations in my head. I kept up this trend for years, and now I'm sitting here almost an adult with self-proclaimed "eras" of myself.

Specifically, 12 - 14, 15 - 16..and one that feels very mature, almost like they are of bodily age. I don't know how best to describe them, but I do view them as very real. Daydreaming communication to try and bring closure with my "younger" self. This isn't the strange part however..

The percieved "oldest" one, nicknamed Guardian Angel, has came out..twice? three times? to comfort me. Once very earlier in this year when I was sobbing over something, next when I needed to clean my room (and guided me along the way). I percieve them all as different beings in their own right, and- i have to rush typing this, but could this be some form of plurality? Is it just IFS or MaDD? Am I going insane? I'm sorry if this isn't the right blog to ask, but I can't get into contact with any psychological professional. (Nor do I think one would take me seriously lol) Temporary sign off so I can find this again if you choose to answer: -Awoo

Hey Awoo.

That does sound a lot like median plurality, especially (but not only) if these eras are independent like it sounds like Guardian Angel is. No one outside of y'all can say for certain though, that's up to you.

One of the biggest things to consider is if this framework of understanding helps or hinders, or is neutral. If it doesn't hinder, take some time to really explore what being plural could mean for y'all. Does it help you all cope? Does it help all of you heal and be stronger together? And most importantly imo, does it help you understand y'all better?

It's okay to try on the label. To see if it fits. If it helps.

If it doesn't, that's fine.

But if it suits, if it helps, welcome to the community.

Also, if you want to pursue psychiatric assistance, please know that there are therapists that will understand and help. You may not get a good one on the first try, and it may take time to get a good therapeutic relationship going to be able to really get the help you need, but if you think it would help it's worth the try. There are also lots of free CBT, DBT, and IFS materials out there that you can look at and try for yourself. We ourselves really like DBT, it works well for us.

Thanks for reaching out and please let us know what you end up deciding!

~Mod Willow

#asks #median systems #actuallymedian #magicallymedian #plurality #plural system #pluralgang

i got told by someone in a plural community that i am "aggressively median," but honestly i don't know, nobody else really commented and i doubt myself easily. i don't disassociate and as far as i can tell i don't switch, but as long as i can remember i often refer to myself as "we" or "you" in my head, and talk back-and-forth with the inner voice who does that. i think there are two other voices. thinking too hard about it makes me kinda light headed. i don't know if im medium or just weird

If you're not answering for the inner voice or the others, if you can't control or edit or rewind what they said and make them say something else, that's plurality.

Then the question becomes one of identity - are these others parts of you, or independent selves? That's something only the group of you can determine for yourselves. And it's okay not to know.

Tried to make one of the others (none of the can settle on names-)

Gangs Club doesn’t do “The Glitch” justice, or Gacha Life 1 or 2, and I can’t find any picrews to update their(….?) appearance. (I’m honestly not sure what T.G. is, anymore when they communicate, it’s primarily silently, glitching, static, emojis, or just actions, unfortunately, most of it I can’t understand. I’m not even sure of their height, I just know some aspects of their appearance, having aphantasia, I cannot “see” them, but I “feel” what they “look” and (sometimes) “sound” like, and it’s a pain in the butt because I can’t figure out a way to represent their appearance because I got a brief “glimpse” and problem is? I can’t draw good enough, if at all, and I don’t wanna resort to asking AI to generate it…

any suggestions…?

Instead of drawing them themselves... Maybe instead, some sort of object or symbol that represents them? May be much easier to do, and more meaningful.

We may be a median system, and want to bring it up with our therapist. How should we go about this? We don't know that they even know what a median system is.

We advise telling them first what you've been noticing and what led to you believing you may be median, and then what that means and where you discovered what a median system is - if you can reference other people's experiencez that may help too. Keep it matter of fact, you don't need to go into intense detail - this isn't a court case, you're not trying to argue them into being convinced you're right. Just lay it out, plainly and simply and concisely, and ask what they think. This is what's worked well with us explaining our plurality to our psych team.

Best of luck!

A similar question (that I read) got answered, but I still cant tell if Im a median or multifaceted, because my mind is a bit too dissociated for me to know (I have dpdr, hence brain-dissocation). I cant tell if I have parts that self-contain. I feel like Im not whole and not alone in my mind, but that could just be dissociation. And my opinions, dislikes, gender, pronouns, etc change every other day, but that could just be because Im young. This weirdly bothers me. Is there another way to tell?

It may be helpful, whether it points to you being a median system or not, to track these changes in self-perception and see if you notice any patterns. It may indicate medianhood if you notice consistent clusters - though do also pay attention to where you are, when it is, who you're with, and what you're doing when clusters appear as those may be triggers (not necessarily trauma triggers, more in the general sense of things that provoke one facet to appear) or may simply be the influence of your surroundings affecting your sense of self.

Hope that's helpful!

~Shiloh Willow

depsidase

syscultureis

Is being a median system considered being an endo? Because I'm a questioning median system but I don't support endos

I've only ever heard it used in Endo spaces, and one of the main definitions I've found of it is "being between being a system and a singlet" which is definitely an Endo thing

I looked into it more briefly, 10 minutes top, and from what I see people saying while describing it, it sounds like they're describing OSDD

* We are not professionals, did not do more than a quick Google search. Please always do research outside of Tumblr

median-net

It's not "between being a system and a singlet", and it's not an endogenic thing. A median system is still a system, and can be traumagenic and can be an OSDD-1 system. It's "somewhere between being a singlet and being multiple", ie, between being just one person and being many distinctly different people in the same system. So in other words there's less division and individuality between the members of a Median system than there is in a Multiple system. Many median systems have members who are variations of one central member, or all the members identify as being aspects of one central or gestalt person. Commonly used terminology in median systems is to refer to each member as a "facet", reflecting the less than marked distinction and connectedness of the members in a median system.

endogenic-cringe

———

The proof the bible is true is the bible says so. Oh wait. Hold on a second…

median-net

It would be more like, the proof that the Bible exists is that you have read from it.

The proof that endogenic plurality exists is that you're experiencing it.

Hey, looking for advice. This is probably a niche question so idk if you'll have anything for us, but: We want to train better awareness and ability to communicate for those not in front/work towards gaining the ability to be co-conscious. The only noticeable influence non-fronting headmates have is rare especially strong emotional reactions, and combined with our inability to notice switches without constantly checking to see who's fronting, I (host) frequently find myself missing my friends, and they feel like their opportunities to interact with the world, talk to our external friends, and discover more about themselves, are super limited.

We're confident this's achievable for us with time and patience - acting like the functioning of a system is immutable is silly - but feel kinda lost as to how best to approach it, and wanna know if anyone else out there has any advice or tips.

Our advice is to start by doing regular check ins, not just with the people in front but with the whole system. Start with doing it every four hours or so, work up to doing it every half hour or so, till it becomes effortless and second nature and you begin to have a constant awareness without having to check in.

Another thing is to mentally leave space for the others in your system. We achieved this with meditation geared towards emptying your brain of thoughts. So we do have thoughts, but when we're doing check-ins or when we're not doing anything that requires our full attention, we let our mind flow where it will without chasing thoughts, and in the space left we often hear our headmates.

I know you said you didn't want to have to do frequent check ins, but this really is the best way to train your awareness.

cute-catts

drtanner

Love that you can see the cogs turning in the cat's head when its person is showing it how to pot the black. The cat is Looking and Understanding! And then it does it! Perfect little helper. 💜💜💜

electricpentacle

Cats love to be Included in their human's activities. Kitty here has successfully participated in the Knock Balls Down Holes Game and feels very pleased about it.

writing-prompt-s

Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

dycefic

Once upon a time there was a peasant woman who was unhappy because she had no children. She was happy in all other things – her husband was kind and loving, and they owned their farm and had food and money enough. But she longed for children.

She went to church and prayed for a child every Sunday, but no child came. She went to every midwife and wise woman for miles around, and followed all their advice, but no child came.

So at last, though she knew of the dangers, she drew her brown woolen shawl over her head and on Midsummer’s Eve she went out to the forest, to a certain clearing, and dropped a copper penny and a lock of her hair into the old well there, and she wished for a child.

“You know,” a voice said behind her, a low and cunning voice, a voice that had a coax and a wheedle and a sly laugh all mixed up in it together, “that there will be a price to pay later.”

She did not turn to look at the creature. She knew better. “I know it,” she said, still staring into the well. “And I also know that I may set conditions.”

“That is true,” the creature said, after a moment, and there was less laugh in its voice now. It wasn’t pleased that she knew that. “What condition do you set? A boy child? A lucky one?”

“That the child will come to no harm,” she said, lifting her head to stare into the woods. “Whether I succeed in paying your price, or passing your test, or not, the child will not suffer. It will not die, or be hurt, or cursed with ill luck or any other thing. No harm of any kind.”

“Ahhhhh.” The sound was long and low, between a sigh and a hum. “Yes. That is a fair condition. Whatever price there is, whatever test there is, it will be for you and you alone.” A long, slender hand extended into her sight, almost human save for the skin, as pale a green as a new leaf. The hand held a pear, ripe and sweet, though the pears were nowhere ripe yet. “Eat this,” the voice said, and she trembled with the effort of keeping her eyes straight ahead. “All of it, on your way home. Before you enter your own gate, plant the core of it beside the gate, where the ground is soft and rich. You will have what you ask for.”

Keep reading

Hello!! I just learned about median systems and am realizing a few things about stuff I've experienced... Do you have any advice on differentiating whether or not you're a median system vs singlet? Also, is it common for facets to not be able to speak at all? And what about the ability to control parts of the body? Sorry for pestering with questions--any information (or even links to places that have these answers) are very helpful!! Thank you so much!

The difference is that parts of a singlet are under that person's control, whereas with a system, those parts are under their own control. It's not uncommon for facets to not be able to speak using words - try listening for images and sensations and feelings instead. And yes, it's possible to share control of the body. We like to have our individual selves take turns writing - we feel like we're listened to better if it's written down.

HTH!

snowyapricity

it’s ok if you never want to tell anyone about your plurality.

it’s ok if you want to tell lots of people about your plurality.

for many systems, being plural is a vital part of their identity, but this means different things for different systems. some may want to protect this part of themselves and keep it hidden, while others may want to be open about it.

you are a valid system regardless of whatever you choose.

aura-oracle-deactivated20250308

Remember y’all, Median Systems are valid. When people say all systems are valid, they’re usually talking about endogenic systems. While yes, that’s true of course, I don’t know where to place Median Systems at along the spectrum. We’re not plural per se nor endogenic. We’re stuck in the middle. Our parts or facets are us and we’re them. We’re a breed of our own. I wish there would be more info out there about us. Endogenics please don’t forget your cousins so to speak hehe. 😄😅

median-net

Endogenic vs traumagenic is about origins, whereas multiple vs median is about topology - the layout and organization of your system. So medians don't fall under endogenic or traumagenic specifically, they're on a whole different axis. Medians can be endogenic, traumagenic, or a mix.

Also, "plural" was coined to include medians - it's for anyone who's more than one, including more than one but less than two.

It was also coined to be inclusive of any type of system whether disordered or not, but the primary use of it originally was to be inclusive of non-multiples —ie, median systems.

Hope that helps! :)

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