Essence D'egbert

Yo, Wafflez here. This is my blog for if I hit post limit. My main blog is wheres-egbert. Get all the good stuff over there.

[kendraaaahhh]

[senpai-noticed-you-and-he]

It might be all the sugar

but I’ve been laughing for 85 years

[parksandwreckmysoul]

My username got a lot better

[flygex-eatin-on-softies]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! 99% of snake bites DO NOT HURT.  See that photo?  Do you see any teeth? Snakes DO have teeth, but they are small, thin and needle-like.  They make tiny little perforations that heal almost overnight. Very few of the snakes that you encounter in the US, especially the eastern states, are venomous. If you encounter a snake, leave it alone.  Take a picture, upload it here, and PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN TELL YOU IF IT’S DANGEROUS OR NOT.  If it is dangerous, you can call animal control to relocate it.  DO NOT KILL IT. Snakes are NOT scary.  Dog bites, cat bites, even hamster bites hurt more than snake bites do, trust me.  I’ve been bitten by a snake that has the longest, sharpest teeth of any nonvenomous species.  Snakes that CAN do damage to you, are either large constrictors (that don’t live in the US) or venomous snakes. Please please don’t kill your local wildlife, it’s cruel and inhumane.  Snakes are, for the most part, completely harmless. MOST BITES OCCUR WHEN YOU DISTURB A VENOMOUS SNAKE.  If you encounter a snake and cannot determine if it’s venomous or not, LEAVE IT ALONE!  It’s better for the snake, and better for you!  

[scumstains-blog]

please be nice to the snakey babies

[vangcghs]

List of Smut Writing Guides

Below is a list of guides that have been written on how to write smut. Credit goes to their original writers. This list will be updated each time I find a new smut guide. [Each link below is titled as the topic it covers]

Accurately Write Gay Sex

Bare Bones [Step by Step/Stages]

Boners

Casual Sex

Erotic Horror

Gay Sex

Guide to Bottoming

In General [and details]

Kisses

Kissing

Language in Smut

Lesbian Smut

Making Love

Planned Sex [Girl POV]

Sex Between Virgins

Sex Scene

Sex Scenes

Sex Scene References

Terms [Vocabulary]

The Basics

The First Time

Words for Sex

Writing a Sex Scene

Writing from a Male’s Perspective

Writing Tips

12-Step Program [How to Write Sex]

Yes, some of these may not relate directly to smut or cover the topic, but they can be helpful when writing smut.

The updated list can always be found here. If there are any broken links, please let me know.

[cyclonestraticos]

Hey, you never know when you’ll need this.

[found-egbert-blog1]

I just got a follower I just got a follower, I wonder who it is

"sams-supernatural-dick"

[herbiehancoke-deactivated202508]

ugh my girl dad is trying to make me call her mum again. what a stupid name for a girl dad

[orlandobloomers]

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal

pics of you smiling with ur mom 

pics of plants

pics of ur dog

pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

[vendetto]

Hey, guys! A friend of mine is part of this contest for American Eagle outfitters. She has done a lot of modeling and I know that winning this contest would mean a lot to her. I would very much appreciate it if you would vote for her :) It takes 2 seconds. Please, it would mean a lot to me.

Go here to vote:

https://live.ae.com/?cid=AE_Email_130710_3&om_rid=NuxwuW&om_mid=_BR6Tc1B8z2LRyQ&om_cn&om_lm#/entries/iEbTcRj1Lyyy4ADDxtHx

[geneticist]

[positivestress]

vondell-swain:

wait…

zoom in…

enhance…

WHAT COMMUNITY GUIDELINE DID THIS VIOLATE??? IT’S A GIF OF A LIZARD LICKING ITS EYE

[itsvondell-deactivated20180104]

i discovered too much

[ceylans]

I hate to be “that guy" who finds homoerotic subtext in just about anything, but I was just watching Brokeback Mountain and let me tell you

[prettiestcaptain]

I’ve already seen some people do this kind of a gifset with fandoms, so I decided to do something similar. These are fandoms in which I may not have been from the beginning, but I will stay to the very end. Because that’s what being a fan is about. :)

[americanhorrorsexy-blog]

this is actually really really brilliant because its not just sherlock doctor who and supernatural. well done for making this, its great! 

[ivegotmagic]

[hogwartskidsproblems]

That sound? It’s the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces

[remescient]

I… I just noticed that both Harry and Neville are dressed similarly to their fathers during the battle of Hogwarts.

I just

I

my heart

ow

[deducingneville]

Very sneaky costume department

Very

Sneaky.

[batgirlrising]

Then there was this kid at SDCC. They had him up on the Marvel stage.

[theflavourofyourlips]

(x)

[mekkyheartsyou]

Dont you really hate it when you try to help a friend out but then only feel like you’ve set them up for disappointment?

[notforbreakfast]

The Hauntening

[queenofheartsonthesleeve]

Pretty much what would happen if I tried to haunt someone .

[jackwynandmoved-deactivated2017]

children that are rough and horrible at handling small animals should not be allowed near small animals i dont care what you say. do not put an animal through that

[96gummyworms]

and don’t you DARE blame the animal of it tries to attack your careless-ass child after it blatantly hurt the animal.