Come On Down To South Park

South Park, Colorado has never been as quiet of a town as it would like people to think. Join Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny as they start their final year of high school. Drama, romance, friendship, and... well, you're just going to have to wait and see,...

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Hello!

Hi, I’m Jimmy Valmer and this is my documentary/blog on the happenings in South park! South Park is just a small little mountain town with barely anything going on, at least that’s what some people might tell you. However if you ask the right people you can see what’s been swept under the rug. I’ve watched all this happen throughout my childhood and as a journalist I feel its my duty to shed some light on everything. Using my various connections I’ve arranged for a few of my friends to post here on this blog to help me record events. I’m only an observer here and might not post very often, but I’ll make sure to prompt the others to post often and answer your questions if so desired.

-Thank you for reading, I hope you’ll stick with us on this journey. 

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We’re Back! (Hiatus almost over)

Hello everyone, we’re not dead!! This blog has been on hiatus for god knows how long, but we’re coming back very soon! We’re just working on final prep work before starting back full force! So get ready, because great things are coming- Mun Page, aka, Cartman

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We are all gone for the night

Stan and Cartman: *just talking*

Kyle: WHAT THE FUCK FAT ASS!

Stan: Kyle-

Cartman: Fuck off Jew!!

Kyle: Are you seriously recording this!?!

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Cartman, why you gotta be so mean? C'mon dude...

Cartman: I’m not mean. I’m honest. So go fuck yourself hippie.

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Cartman why is it that whenever something bad happens, YOU show up.

Cartman: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not an alcoholic, or a Jew, or poor! I’m the good one.

Stan: He’s an asshole is what he is.

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Stan, have you relapsed before? Are you going to be safe with Cartman?

Stan: Well I’ve never tried to go sober before, so no, but I gotta say it sucks.

Cartman: Of course he’ll be safe with me! Why wouldn’t he be!

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Cartman, what are you so cheery about? Is Stan not your friend?

Cartman: Of course he’s my friend, but I’ll still shit on him whenever I want. That’s what fiendship is, right? Fuck yeah.

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Recovery isn't linear, Stan. Learn from this time, you can figure out what you need to do so you don't drink next time.

Stan: Thanks... I’m honestly not sure how to stop myself... 

Cartman: Trick question, you DON”T!

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Stan. Boy you really fucked up this time huh buddy pal.

Stan: Yes, yes I did. The worst part I don’t even remember half of it. 

Cartman: I do! Turns out, you did go to Kyle’s, but Ike answered the door. And that’s where you got your second bottle fuckup.

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Cartman, what happened when Stan showed up?

Cartman: Alright, so the fucker shows up drunk as hell. So what do I do? I do what any good friend would do and grab him another drink. 

Stan: God you’re an asshole…

What Really Happened

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Stan, you got drunk?!

Stan: It was only one time, this is going to be the last time too.

Cartman: Suuure it was.

Stan: God I fucked up....

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Kyle Broflovski is going to track down Stan.

I’m going to find that fat bastard and see what the hell he did to Stan to make him give up sobriety.

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So ah, Kyle, have you seen the post that Carman just made....?

Cartman made a post? Oh. He’s--.. Wait. Stan did /what/? I gotta go.

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Fite me m8 let's go Kyle, Rock Paper Scissors, me and you

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Kyle, what's your favorite animal?

Honestly? I don’t know. I’m okay with any animal.. Anything except for dolphins. No more dolphins. Never again.

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Kyle quick make a cute face

Well, cute faces are more of Butters’ thing? But I’ll try.

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Stan and Cartman are online!

Cartman: So ah, guess who came to my house last night instead of going to see Kyle? This guy right here! He showed up drunk so I guess that shows you how well that relationship is going. *bumps Stan* Oh, I’m sorry, do you have a headache?