I just realised why actual writing never works for me and it is because I write slow.
I have too many thoughts, which easily translates to paper but I give up in the beginning because it literally takes me a long time to finish writing by hand. Beautiful as my stationery is, that is what is prohibiting me from keeping a journal.
(Huh, the thoughts one have when the clock nearly strikes midnight. Late night thoughts are amazing.)
Now here I am, deciding to blog again as an alternative, my fingers swiftly hovering over the keys. The words flow freely and this, this is what I need.
I need to be free from the restraints of actual writing (i.e. carpal tunnel syndrome, joint pain, etc). I need to a platform which allows me to jot my thoughts and make some semblance of sense into it and this just might be it. Again.
(How many times can one actually reset though? Bah, I'll save that for the next.)
I truly wonder how people recover from major life events that have drastically taken a turn for worse. How do you cope? Can you please share tips for this girl going through one?
Irvin and I completed our first ever Lego! Only fitting that it has to be Balrog and Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings with the Fellowship soundtrack playing in the background. "You shall not pass!"
Two days ago, the sky opened up for hail to fall. It was both beautiful and terrifying. Hail in springtime? Unheard of. Global warming is indeed among us.
We have never been to Battersea, even though it tends to bring a lot of traffic due to the cherry blossoms that grows in the park come spring time, hence our trek to here.
It was nice but not worth the hour and a half trip, in my honest opinion. I got a coat and doughnuts though so it's all good.
I stumbled upon Somebody Feed Phil on Netflix many months ago and we were drawn in by the wit and the warmth of its host, Phil Rosenthal. Needless to say, Irvin and I were hooked and always ended up giggling at his antics and melting at his fond video calls with his parents.
Fast forward to yesterday evening, when he announced that he would be posing for a photo with anybody who purchased his book. It was a sure yes for both of us and we waited patiently for our turn. While we only had a few seconds of conversation, he is one of the most genuine people I have ever met in this lifetime.
Imagine adding an extra date on his book tour because of the demand and that date just so happened to be on his birthday. This selfless man, what a champ!
This is one of those surreal moments wherein you realise that the world and the people in it aren't all bad. While we all face our own set of trials and tribulations, it's what we make of it that matters.
And that, folks, is the highlight of my January. What's yours?
I can feel the motivation to do the things I planned to do for the year slipping away as my schedule goes from an empty slate to a packed cube of malarkey.
But then I always remind myself that it's okay to pause. It's okay to breathe. It's okay to live. And everything will be okay, eventually.
We've been together for so long but it still amazes me how we can read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences just like that. Thank you, Chubs, for everything. ♡
I'm serious. I've had sips over the years but never really understood the hype until I turned the big 3-0 last March. I decided I would be open and give it a try.
After tasting various cocktails and liquor (gin is not for me, no, no, no), I still did not get the purpose behind it.
I will drink on occasion though.
Case in point: date night.
We were supposed to have charcuterie and champagne when the clock hit 12 on the 1st of January but we were too full from our media noche that we decided to forgo and reschedule.
It was lovely but the woozy feeling when the alcohol hits my stomach always gets me. Thank goodness for the saltiness of the cheese and the cured meats to sop it all up.
Irvin and I did manage to finish Supernatural after setting it aside for so long. Although the ending was a bit drab, it was a nice way to end the Winchester boys' arcs. Long live, #SPN!
I've been avoiding social media like the plague since life started to take a downhill turn last February. I've been present but not really present, you know? I've been keeping appearances (for what true purpose, I am yet to find out), ensuring to post here and there as 'proof of life'.
Then I started to disappear halfway through the year. I deactivated my Facebook. I stopped posting on Instagram, stories and posts.
It wasn't really intentional.
It just felt like the right thing to do.
Months later, here I am, rediscovering my love for Tumblr and the safe haven that it has always been. Twitter is still in the background but c'mon, I can't exactly type out paragraph after paragraph there, can I?
Then I realized that the more my life took a turn for the worse (I wish I were joking but I'm not), the more envious I became of people. There they were, posting on social media about their conquests, their championships, their wins. And here I am, internally struggling with challenges that have been thrown our way.
Don't get me wrong. I'm physically okay, both Irvin and I are. We have a roof over our heads, we have food to eat and we have each other. However, life just throws curveballs your way that completely disrupt your daily life and destroy the positive spirit that you spent years to build, which just makes it very difficult to enjoy living.
While we may be carrying our challenges into the new year, I still wanted to make a small list of the things I am grateful for this year. I hope this will remind me that while this year has been tough, it's just a bad year, not a bad life.
Without further ado, here are the things I am grateful for:
March/April: Going back home to the Philippines after 3 years with Irvin (yep, we've been working in London for 5 years but we've only just gone home together)
April: Started a new job as a practice development nurse for the international nurses (never thought I'd be a 'teacher' but here I am)
May: Celebrated three years of marriage with the love of my life by going on a hike (Cheddar Gorge was lovely)
August: Started looking for flats to call our own
October: Finally have a home that is our own (this may be so small to some but it's a huge accomplishment to us as it was never our plan to own anything this year)
November: Moved in, decorated, organized and celebrated this milestone along with Irvin's 30th birthday
December: Saddest Yuletide season yet but I'm alive, my family's alive and we are fine
Of course, I probably wouldn't have survived this year without my family. I may not be the very best in terms of communication (I'm just tired all the time) but I know that they love me as much as I love them.
I know God has also been there, even though I have not. I am still grateful, Lord, thank You. I'm sorry I haven't been the best daughter but I continue to try and strive to be someone you can be proud of.
I just wish things were different so I could do better, be better. But that's okay. This is a way for me to build up my strength again, I hope.
With 121 minutes left till the clock turns 00:00, I'm signing off this dark year, with all its heavy baggage. I do aspire to be the best version of myself when 2023 hits, with my faith and my strength renewed.
As always, here's to new beginnings! Goodbye, 2022, hello, 2023!
I can't really remember the last time I celebrated Christmas on the day itself as I was working either a day or a night shift. Now that I've switched gears, my role requires me to actually be off on holidays like normal people.
It's strange but I can get used to it.
Today marks my first Christmas with Irvin and Irvin alone. Ever since coming to London, we've always spent this day with our friends at home, as we all live together. Now that we're homeowners (it still feels pretty surreal to say that but more on this on a later entry), we decided to just enjoy this time and celebrate this moment together.
The verdict? It's nice, veeeery nice.
While we may not have photos together (okay fine, I lie, we have four but I look pale in it due to sickness), here's a video of the feast Irvin kindly cooked while I coughed a lung out on the couch. I am so grateful for him and so grateful to Him for letting our paths cross.
Happy birthday, Jesus. Our feast may be simple but it's definitely for You. We hope you enjoy being celebrated for You deserve it.
And a happy Christmas to the rest of the world! May the Yuletide season bring you and your loved ones together, dining and gathering together to celebrate the birth of Our Saviour. ♡
