Pros and Cons of Inviting Cosmere Shards to your Next Boardgame Night
So you want to invite a fragment of Adonalsium to your next boardgame night? You do you, but here are some pros & cons you might want to consider first.
1. Autonomy [Taldain; White Sand]
Pros: If you're good, Autonomy will respect you. You actually managed to complete the coast to coast railroad in Ticket to Ride? Autonomy is giving that a fist bump.
Cons: If you are bad at your chosen game, or even if you just have a bad night, Autonomy may simply kill you.
2. Preservation [Scadrial; Mistborn]
Cons: Preservation HATES it when the game progresses. You've been playing Risk for three hours now, and Preservation is still trying to get it to look like it did at setup. He's crying.
Pros: Preservation doesn't mind losing. He kinda likes it if his score stays at 0.
3. Ruin [Scadrial; Mistborn]
Pros: Ruin is not a bad loser either.
Cons: In fact, Ruin hopes that EVERYONE will lose. He's mainly in it to see everything burn. Do NOT play Pandemic with Ruin.
4. Harmony [Scadrial; Mistborn]
Cons: You are SO SURE that Harmony is trying to manipulate how you play.
Pros: H-He just put down a Scrabble word that can be pluralized one square away from the triple word score tile--is he trying to manipulate you into winning?! Does he want the game to be easy for you??
5. Honor [Roshar; Stormlight]
Pros: He will DEFINITELY not cheat.
Cons: He's just...a bit of a windbag, you know? He tells like the same six stories over and over again and always looks at you like he thinks he's changing your life. It's like--it's been your turn for five minutes now!
6. Dominion [Sel; Elantris]
Cons: Ugh, Dominion is the WORST winner. Laughing, mocking you, rubbing your face in it... It's like, cool it. We are playing Settlers of Catan.
Pros: ...It's actually very satisfying to beat her, especially at the card-building guide Dominion. Heh heh. Heheheheh.
7. Devotion [Sel; Elantris]
Pros: Devotion has a whole library of fun co-op games where everyone wins! It's delightful!
Cons: Just once you wish you could play a competitive game. With winners and losers. But you just can't take Devotion's round, moist eyes when you suggest it.
8. Endowment [Nalthis; Warbreaker]
Cons: It's not too bad of a con, really, but she is REALLY particular about what piece color she gets.
Pros: She always brings snacks! And she never asks for anyone else to take their turn or anything; she just likes to bring stuff!
9. Cultivation [Roshar; Stormlight]
Pros: You swear that playing with Cultivation has made you a better player. Yes, she kicks your butt at Checkers repeatedly, but she also seems to want you to get better at the game. It's kind of sweet.
Cons: You just wish she could be more...normal about win conditions. "Winner gets to pick the takeout place!" Normal! "And winner also has to pour a glass of water over their head!" Now it's weird.
10. Virtuosity [Komashi; Yumi and the Nightmare Painter]
Cons: Sometimes you like a game, and you'd like to try it again. But Virtuosity always pooh-poohs that idea. She only likes to try new games.
Pros: She's always really taken with the art on the game box. It's kinda sweet.
11. Odium, Rayse vessel [Roshar; Stormlight]
Pros: Odium understands and adheres to the spirit of the game, and he doesn't take it personally. When you block his Draw 2 with a Draw 2 of your own, he just shakes his head and comments that it's his own fault for agreeing to house rules.
Cons: Whenever someone loses, Odium insists that they be banned from game night forever. Sometimes you catch a cold look in his eye, like he intends to be the only boardgame player left at the end of this...but that would be crazy, right??
12. Odium, [spoilers-for-Rhythm-of-War] vessel [Roshar, Stormlight]
Cons: You thought you were playing by house rules Monopoly, you know, like everyone does, when all of the sudden Odium stops your brother from loaning you some money by calmly pointing out that it isn't allowed in the official rules. Suddenly you see that he has the Official Rule Book in hand. Many pages are earmarked. A chill comes over you.
Pros: Well, you agreed that if the Monopoly game lasted longer than two hours, then whoever was up at that point would simply win. S-So, at least there's an end in sight? Why are you so scared though??
13. Ambition [Threnody; Shadows for Silence]
Pros: Whenever someone gets eliminated from your weekly poker game because they run out of chips, Ambition insists that they stay at the table and continue having a role in the game. How sweet!
Cons: ...is what you would say, if the role weren't sitting there in silence, watching for any rule-breaking (like card counting or collusion). Ambition always says that the punishment for rule-breaking is...death. You know she's kidding.
You might stop inviting her.
