Adult Wednesday Addams (SE 2) Starters
It’s a series that was done by Melissa Hunter until she ran into so legal issues with it. I think it’s a really fun little short series so here are some good lines from it(: use at your own desecration. TW: Murder, organ trafficking, suicide, self harm, nsfw, death, assault (I’m sorry if any go untagged)
(Season 1)
“I’m not a normal”
“Your scream is impressively shrill”
“Only a deeply deranged pony would implant rhinestones on it’s hooves!”
“You are completely and utterly inconsequential”
“Contrary to depicts in movies and books, monsters don’t prey on boring children”
“Real monsters prey on real monsters so as long as you never become a monster, you never have to fear monsters”
“Just remember, you completely and utterly do not matter”
“Father let me do figure 666s in our graveyard in the family hearse. I never missed one gravestone”
“The most effective hunter stalks slowly”
“Don’t be insulting, I don’t almost kill anything!”
“What better way to connect to the fragility of life than a reminder that your body is merely a sack of bones and blood?”
“Being reminder that it can all be stripped away from you in just one instant, that’s a gift”
“Do you remember every woman you assault or am I special?”
“Tracking the scent of Axe Body Spray is amateur”
“Could you please be more sensitive? Bob is the only one who’s been institutionalized!”
“I’ve hired these men to lurk on your sidewalk and pay you compliments... All. Day. Long”
“I think this chair is broken. I’m feeling not electricity whatsoever”
“You were probably the best he ever had and he wanted to end his life on a high note so he hanged himself”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone is destined to die alone”
“Unless you and your husband perish holding hands in a fiery plane crash, the odds of which are 27 million to one, every single person on this big blue Earth will die alone and it’s that single commonality that brings us all together”
“Well, perhaps you should consider the inevitability of death before speaking to me in that tone again, Harvey!”
“Your apology is heard but not accepted”
“Now you post duck face selfies with your green juice every morning... just to feel something”
“I am not afraid to cut a goth bitch!”
“Don’t forget to return the key! They always forget to return the key..”
“You’re crazy, but you’re nice”
“I don’t photograph well”
“You don’t photograph at all”
“She’s got a secret knife! She’s got a secret knife!”
“I will burn this place to the ground one day”
“I said, I will burn this place to the ground one day”
“I thought you were going to call me”
“I thought I put you in sturdier chains”
“We knew each other in a past life”
“Did we really meet in a past life?”
“Do you think I’m a liar?”
“I’m trying to sharpen my skills for an upcoming perjury”
“She referred to you as her canine property. That’s rather dominant, I know you like that”
“I still have the chains”
“Do you know what it’s like to be shot 37 times in the chest?”
“Then you’re not the man in the past life I thought you were”
“Why don’t you call me when you know what love feels like”
“Does that mean you want me to get shot in the chest or.. Is it a metaphor?”
“Your owner is calling”
