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Straight from my notes app

[fragileverses]

Words are powerful, they say,

They carry emotions with them,

Be it love or hate

Those frequencies will have a say

I heard, Knife stabs hurts less

When compared to the wounds of words

We don't realize, do we?

Until its too late to fix and to apologize

But wait, words for apology are not that much powerful again

Why can't they maintain a balance?

Meanest things are not possible to unsay

We often do this to someone who we love most

Are we less on the "respect" part then?

[fragileverses]

Who was I then ?

And who am I now?

Whats the difference between us?

Or what I differentiate in them?

The parts of my past lovers are still me

And the friend who i don't even talk to anymore

The grandparents watching me from the heaven

I am all of them and still none of them

Was I only a void before them

Or an entity completely different from who I am now

Do you understand what i am implying to?

Who was I then and what am I now?

I wonder, what will i become after you

[fragileverses]

And one day I stopped looking for you!

For every roads we've walked

Every cafes we've been to

And every gardens we've visited,

But the pieces of you were still there

Everywhere I turned

somebody walked past by me,

and they smelt exactly like you

somebody looked at me with the same smile,

Oh, and i remembered your eyes dear

No, I was not looking for you my love

You just came to me like always

Just as rustles of autumn would come to me

But those golden leaves have taught me to let go

In order to bloom with spring

I must let go off of you just to find me.

[fragileverses]

When I am on my death bed,

I saw you so scared for me

What will be it like to die?

What would that make me feel?

You wonder,

But what If I told you then

I was dead long ago

And this is body of mine?

A hollow vessel of blood and flesh

I lost what kept me alive a long ago

I lost what made me giggles and gratified

How could i been living all along when i could not even remember when I was truly happy

Do you understand my dear?

When I will be on my death bed

You don't have to be so scared for me

Because i will already be burning on the flames of my regrets

Because i will be buried deep down under my remorse and repentance

And what about the remains? You'd ask

My bones or my ashes

They will be reminiscence of my dreams and my desires

[fragileverses]

And one day I stopped looking for you!

For every roads we've walked

Every cafes we've been to

And every gardens we've visited,

But the pieces of you were still there

Everywhere I turned

somebody walked past by me,

and they smelt exactly like you

somebody looked at me with the same smile,

Oh, and i remembered your eyes dear

No, I was not looking for you my love

You just came to me like always

Just as rustles of autumn would come to me

But those golden leaves have taught me to let go

In order to bloom with spring

I must let go off of you just to find me.

[fragileverses]

What am i writing?

Sometimes i even wonder why?

A poem, few bundles of meaningless words ?

Or something that comes straight from my heart?

A drive of passion to create a art?

Or just a pile of words stacked one above others?

If only i could make you feel what i am feeling

Or at least the sense of it

For thisi could even break my ribs

and dip in my own blood

Just to write some scarlet scripts,

that would stay in your heart forever.

[fragileverses]

TIME

What do you think about time?

Is it just ticking of three hands on the clock

or few digits on the display

Early morining you wakeup,

Get ready for work/ school

Come home and go back to bed

Is it just some seconds turned minutes into months

and gradually grows up to years and decades?

Does it have to be this way?

Can I pause? Can I rest please?

For the sake of my sanity

I am drained and all empty

Does time does this?

or I did this myself to my time

Each moment the Earth rotates and it revolves

Is it reminding us to take things slow?

Why can we not understand

Things simple as that

This too shall pass and the next time it comes across again

we'll be much prepared for that

[fragileverses]

I see pain everywhere,

Wherever I go, Whoever it is

In rags and in palaces I've been

I feel like i cannot run away from it

How could I?

Its in my heart and I see in everybody's eyes

However they may try to hide,

As they say, Eyes never lies

Is it because pain runs through my veins

And embedded in my heart and in my soul?

Or because nobody could ever escape

Once they mark one down, it never fades

Oneday its bleeding and wounded the other day it slowly heals on their own accord

People are happy and paradox, they are sad too

Or do i just see them as though,

Do sorrow also lies in the eyes of beholder?

Have any medicine invented to it?

Three pills a day and you look happier?

Is it all of you or just me here yearning?

Who sees pain everywhere?

Everybody's scale is different

In accordance to their perspective i think

So is there sorrows everywhere?

[fragileverses]

What was meant to be?

What is happening?

What kind of butterfly flapped its wing on my life that has lead to this consequence

Is this my karma or somebody's gonna repay this next time as part their karmic cycle ?

Am i the modern world sisyphus and my life itself is a boulder they say?

Will i ever reach the top?

Or am i ultimately the modern world pandora?

Driven by curiosity did i also released sorrows in my life ?

If so I'll make sure to release hope too.

[fragileverses]

Words can never explain the things you're feeling

Like the rush of blood through your heart

And lub-dub- pounding of your chest to that extend it vibrates one's ear drums

Nobody could name this feeling could they?

Because they are meant to be felt

Skin through skin it resonates

With the same rhythm it vibrates

Now everything's dark infront of my eyes

And i feel it in my gut now it's transmitting all over my body through my veins

Is it a spell?

Or a bad omen

What's get inside my body

That's scarring my soul that it bleeds black blood now

So could you tell what i must be feeling or give any name to it?

[fragileverses]

Mukkumlung

[fragileverses]

Taplejung

[fragileverses]

Around my neighbourhood

[fragileverses]

And after all I thought eveything's gonna be okay and fall into their places

But how can a city be same after the apocalypse

All that is left will be ruins and deaths

My heart feels the same

So as my life

Trying and gather and collect myself

But heavens! No!

I am unable to cope everything up

To keep track of all the destructions and disasters

My minds pacing like a bullet train

And my body unable to move

I am stiffen and i am numb

I have no idea what should i do next

[fragileverses]

Love feels strange to me nowadays

I cannot stand the idea of being selfless

How can you say its not oneside

I am sick of people pretending

Of acting they know it all

When i am here not able to navigate anything

When something i thought love turned into tragedy

I stopped believing

I stopped trusting my own emotions

[fragileverses]

I wish to be a cigarette on another life,

Burning and yearning on his lips and fingers ,

Who not only chooses me but also lights me up

Kisses me to the death and now i am all ashes all burnt up to smoke inside my beloved's lungs

He pairs me with boozes and beers

But it was me who he is addicted to

Not a second without me,

He breathes with me, he breathes me

And yet he still chooses me

Knowing all until now that i was never good for him

[fragileverses]

Is there any meaning in choosing paths if all of them ultimately leads to the hell.