+aryn @fratarynity - Tumblr Blog

new fire

my forearms tingle with the vibrations of new creativity.

stories dance along my veins,

striding towards their reality,

dripping from my fingertips onto the page.

onto the cheek of a young girl who cannot recognize her own face.

Down my cheek

Along my veins

Onto the page

Striding towards their reality

fratarynity

10/06/21

I know a beautiful girl

To stand just beside her, just outside her

And bask in her light.

The feeling slowly creeps in

Like a bug or a rat or a tick.

And you feel an otherness in yourself.

Do not snuff your own flame.

Do not dim your own light.

Do not compare yourself to her.

using social media always makes me feel like i’m not on the right path or i’m not doing enough to reach my goals.

i’ve been questioning myself a lot recently. Questioning every thought, tracing it back to the source - untangling the iridescent necklace knot that is my mind - glowing and pulsing - persisting against pressure - slowing releasing bit of encapsulating vibrations

i see two white hands in the darkness behind my eyes. the left arm is tinted red it reached out to white and holds whites hand. white makes no effort to reach but likes red hold whites hand

i realize that what i see is the imprinted image of what i saw with my eyes open. trying everything i can to get to the depths of my creative spirit and put them out before me, perceiving myself physically and spiritually.

my childhood stuffed into a closet y2k cluttercore

1:35 appreciate what you have breath skin hair eyes the ability to touch the ability to feel to feel your bed to feel the carpet to hear your house creak as you walk through the hallway into the bathroom to perceive to analyze to observe to brush your teeth to wash your face to feel rejuvenated to feel attractive to look outside as you walk down the stairs to see your mom working at the desk to make yourself a nice breakfast eggs toast coffee a good book The ability to have self-control the ability to analyze the ability to forgive yourself to write to paint to sew to play and sing and drive to love your body to be humble to watch a good show to have an education a helpful coaching sustainable consistent education to have a cat to have friends from all over in town out of town in state out of state to know what love is to understand my cycle of emotions to eat good food to have pleasant memories to dream to set goals to understand goals might be hard to achieve and thats okay to rest your body and soul to exist

i scream to unlodge the monster that sits at the base of my throat stopping me from speaking my mind

body love I send love to my body to my tummy I send love in different ways I send love with positive intention i send love by reminding myself to alter my initial react i send love by rubbing it and washing it and moisturizing it and especially feeding it i also send love by pushing it running with it, working out with it i need to take care of my body. that includes meditating on it and working out with it❤️

gay panic pretty waitress to awkward cashier delivering tip “put it in my vagina pocket, slowly and deliberately” awkwardly throws it in “not slow enough haha” drops penny in fear

stupid show dialogue a typically busy restaurant is empty in the middle of the work day Cecil the manager, little brown hair, slightly over weight - shows in neck face and stomach, has a phone holster on his utility belt. He skips through the middle of the restaurant Cecil the manager : We can do whatever we want right now! Is this so crazy? Ah old janitor stands next to the cashier’s desk. The cashier is 21, young but tired looking, used to working in empty restaurants. at the same time: it gets old after a while they look at each other cashier sighs, janitor pats her on the back Cecil the manager: we literally could sit around and do nothing for the next 20 minutes! Shawna: you hear that kid it’s ur time to shine lazy buser rolls their eyes The cook wears a chef coat and hat. the Hat covers his eyes, all that sticks out is his mustache. he smokes a doobie while cook so the kitchen fills up with smoke Donna comes stomping through the smokey aisle waving a menu Jeezus Chryst Dennis you better not be putting no surprises in them pancakes old man voice- order up a plate of pancakes in thrown up on the hot tray. Chocolate chips on the pancake read Screw You Donna Donna drags her finger across the chips and slurps up the chocolate. Her hips swing side to side and shake the pots and pans.

I wish whatever has it crawls dragging down my throat would crawl out

I might be hungry

I personify my organs and bodily functions.

My stomach is blue as twisted up and inside out.

my throat is green and my lungs are pink and brown and deteriorating.

my brain is green and blue and orange with sparklers sticking out of the slimy curves

the steam that pour out my ears is inhaled by the monster that feds of my energy.

the gargoyle that has taken claim over my spirit.

He sits on my shoulder and using my ears as a hookah.

his name is smog.

02/02/2021

my heart portal is blocked. my throat is constricted. I feel a contraction of my muscle and my lungs as i wind myself further and further and stretch myself so tight and so taut that it burst like rubber bands and spring in all directions. Like an enormous display of release and freedom. the opposite of an orgasm. or an evil orgasm.

G͎r͎a͎v͎i͎t͎y͎

Project: Egosintonico

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