ă L - TWENTY TWO - ANIMAL ă
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
may post mature or triggering things.
-part of a closed rpg-
Sungjong tried to keep up with L as they walked, and as L tried to tell him that he wasnât glaring daggers at her. Sungjong laughed slightly. âSure, you werenât glaring at her, hyung~â he said, laughing a bit still. Sungjong found that Lâs denial that he wasnât jealous was so cute. The older was totally jealous and if he wasnt then he wouldnât have been glaring machetes or knives at his friend. âYouâre realy possessive of me, hyung~â he said, laughing a bit.
As he headed into the Hall of Instruments and tunning over to the baby grand, he heard Lâs reply that he graduated. Sungjong wasnât going to ask further questions, since L was simply there with him and that alone made him happy. As he played, he lost himself in the music but he snuck a glance at L. The other seemed really happy and the smile on the otherâs lips warmed Sungjongâs heart more than he could describe.
As he finished the song, Lâs compliment and applause made him shy. âAh, hyungâŠâ he said, shyly blushing. âI like the piano,âŠâ he said, smiling widely at the other. âIâm glad you enjoyed it though, oppa~â he said, smiling happily. He took Lâs hand.
"Youâre cool, oppa~. Just donât be so jealous~" he stated.
Turning his head, shaking it slightly in mock disapproval, L reached over to gently flick Sungjong on the forehead. Â "I'm not possessive," there was a slight pause before he continued, "I'm just merely looking out for you." There was a small shrug before he continued his walk.
"I can see you like the piano." He bobbed his head up and down happily, the more than small grin still plastered on his face. "Hey, have you ever though about asking for a piano back on the home island? We could have one in the living room and then you could play whenever I wanted." He smirked, still allowing Sungjong to tow him along like a rag doll, wandering to wherever he wished to go.
He let out a quiet snicker at the other's statement. Cool? L was everything but cool. He was hot headed, flaming, passionate but not cool. Instead of a cold retaliate he just nodded, chuckling lowly. "Whatever you say, Jong. But I was not jealous."
Only offering a small laugh in response, taking the statement as a joke.  Fei? Look after him? He had a particular problem protecting himself from himself, so how was such a petite girl to do that? Noting that she was not, in fact, kidding, a prominent frown graced the young maleâs face.
"You think you can protect me Fei? You canât." Â He was loud, clear, wanting to get his point straight out there, bluntly. Â "Do you really think you could protect me? Â With your life or not?" Â He lifted his hand to wipe across her cheek, following the dark marks that she proudly called her stripes.
Still astounded by her âpromiseâ, L let out a curt snigger. returning to the brusque attitude he approached Fei with when they first spoke. Â There was an uncomfortable pang in the pits of stomach, aware of the feeling of stepping back, it felt as if the past months of âtrainingâ to become a calmer, saner, more reserved member of the circus had died. Â
"Fei. Iâve not changed who I really am. Iâm still the same guy in the cage who the audience waits to snap. Iâm still the same thing that would willingly kill every single person in this facility if not carefuly.âÂ
â-You cannot protect me. With your life or not.â
It was an ordinary day. Just like any otherâŠ. by now there was a routine. Everyone had their schedule. Knew when they had to be at their tent, when they could sneak away and when they could grab a quick snack to eat. Bom, known as Iral to most people her and the audience, watched as crowd left her tent. She could hear them talking excitedly, or scrunching up their nose cause they didnât like the smell. Iral couldnât care less. A smoke cloud slowly formed in the middle of the tent, from barely visible to getting thicker and thicker, her silouette started to show.
As the young woman appeared, the smoke around her disappeared. Waiting till the last kid exited her tent, she turned around and walked to the other end, slipping through a hidden exit. For the next two hours she had no new performance and as always she used that time to watch her fellow circus members perform. Iral loved it to blend into the crowd, acting and feeling like she was only a guest herself. Fascinated by those amazing performances.
Passing by a view tents she spotted a bunch of people surrounding a particular tent⊠or more like cage. Like the little boy next to her, pulling on his mothers arm, she stepped closer, squeezing herself through the crowd to get a better look. âYah⊠move you weirdo!â âDo something.â âMom⊠thatâs boringâŠâ grown men were shouting at the cage, little kids were pouting disappointed or knelt down to get a stone which they could throw through the bars.
An old woman pulled her grandchild away from the cage and with quick moves Iral claimed their spot at the front. With big eyes she starred at a young man in the far back of the cage. Motionless he just sat there, eyes closed as if he would sleep or meditate. Curious she tilted her head to the side, the man next to her ratting at the bars. âLion? Pfft⊠do something you weirdo!â was yelling another one.
Slightly disgusted by the crowd around her she frowned. She heard about the circusâ âlionâ but never had the chance yet to see or talk to him. More and more stones were flying through the bars now, even some food landed near his foot. How disgusting could people be? Iral almost turned around, as a stone suddenly hit the young manâs shoulder and she almost gasped as her eyes met his.
He didn't know why he was still here. He didn't understand why he hadn't packed the little belongings he had and left yet. L wasn't aware of what was bounding him to this damned place. The circus left the impression on him that perhaps his previous was better, the abuse he was currently undergoing was generally harsher and physically worse than that he faced in previous experiences.
There was only so much that the young male could do about the throbbing headache that raked through his head. Honestly, he should have become used to this by now, the screams and yells, the soft thuds of garbage hitting the back of his head. He was still giddy from the previous 'transformation'. Although his mind had gone blank and unaware from his thrashing fit almost hours ago, his body was still paying it's price. The warm damp feeling of blood had dried now, making his shirt stick to his sweaty body, dirt and debris stuck in his hair, lips rouge and chapped.
L was very much aware of how little it would take to make him snap once more. The growing heat of annoyance crept up his neck, taunting him that there would be more pain to come throughout the evening, that the slash across his front was not going to be the only wound he'd walk away with tonight. He'd curse himself when it was time to sleep and the sharp pain would keep him up, beating himself up over how he couldn't handle a couple of jeers and now he was paying the consequences.
It took a string of sentences to truly irritate the male. He should be on the page of magazine not here. Or he should have married a cougar. Rich women love a handsome face that doesn't talk back. Head whipping round to the large, plump woman that had the nerve to spill out those words, similar to how her body spilled out of her too tight skinny jeans, her stomach slightly exposed under her equally strangling top. L couldn't help but wonder how much blood she would give off, and how many walls he could cover with the red liquid.Â
"Do you really want a show?" he snarled, the log that he was sat on had been thrown across the habitat, smashed and in pieces from the impact against the metal bars. He took the time to look at every single human who had gathered around him, disgusted at them. The same amused expression, hands clapping rapidly, applauding the burst of energy that L had exhibited. There were a pair of eyes, however, that didn't look as amused, but he only pushed them aside as beginner's eyes.
Bounding on all fours across the stage like platform, his head ducking, peaking just far enough from the enclosure to capture a blond haired dog, taking a couple of tugs to fit it through the gaps of the bar. Bones were heard crackling from the freshly transformed creature, the now dead animal hanging limply from it's jaw, blood streaming down like rivers, staining the clothed thing. The sobs of the child who must've owned the pet were drowned by the applause from the crowd, only frustrating it even more. It was only blank for L.
Hours after of restraints from security, blows thrown at him for his misbehaviour, only a body was left on the grounds of the circus, amongst the debris of his cage, half clothed with gashes decorating his skin. And throughout the deserted area, only a muffled sob was audible.
"I wish you would notice me and maybe develop feelings for me."
"Storm is coming."
"You are cute but we're not going to be a thing."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Give me a sign!"
"I want to be your friend."
"I need you."
"I hate you!"
"Get over it."
"That was rude."
"I'm trying to flirt with you, okay?"
"You are my enemy."
"I like when you smile."
NOTE: reblog only if you will actually respond to ALL asks sent your way. No ignoring people! Para responses (8+ sentences) are preferred but not required.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
~Edgar Allan Poe
Fear ran through the bones of the lanky boy, biting him as though it was alive itself, but flowing in him as if it was part of the blood in his veins, something evidently permanent and meant to be. Eyes wide, the small being searched the room for any signs of threat, knowing it was out there, hiding in the corners and crevices of the room. He knew he wasnât alone, heâd never be alone, not completely any way. There was always something there. A chance. There was the chance he could be murdered this instant by a lurking body, burnt to the crisp by a fire, have a heart attack, choke on his own spit. There were so many possibilities in his small mind which always ended with his death. Every noise was a threat from the armies of hell, all of whom hated him with such passion, it would terrify anyone; especially this small boy.
Kim Myungsoo was always a frightened little boy. Although as a child, he did all but make a noise. There were no cries when he was left alone through the night, when his parents "forgot" to feed him. When his sisters tormented him, pulling at his frail limbs, poking fun at the freak of the family, he stayed silent and watched. His mouth never opened in front of others, not once, not even when food was thrown into the small, decaying room he called his own.Â
Clutching his thin duvet up to his face, legs pulled towards his chest, he continued to scan the room thoroughly, taking in the surroundings and drinking in the darkness. He felt his eyelids slowly close, sleep slowly consuming his mind. He refused though, blinking his eyes several times, knowing what was on the other side of the wall. âI know youâre out there.â He whispered quietly, to whom even he wasnât quite sure. âPlease donât hurt me.â He said again with such a soft voice that if it were to be objectified it could balance on top of any flowerâs petals without bending them. He fell to his greed when he spoke to the darkness, he had offered people he knew to them. He sold them off like money, simply because he was too weak to handle his own fears. He could feel the guilt build on his shoulders, like there was blood on her hands. He was dirty and unclean.
The first time he thought of bargaining, he had offered his teacher. The one with the strange blonde hair that offered him smiles when he hadn't done anything, the one with a kind soul that was concerned for him. He watched her walk home, 10pm just like every other evening. Watched her soft skirt trail in the wind, soft, pale skin in the moonlight, a distorted smile on her face, rouge liquid flowing from her head from the rough road. It was easy for him, only taking an easy push after all until a retched scream could be heard.
The darkness left for a precisely a week. Nothing more, nothing less. They seemed satisfied, and so did Myungsoo. It was if he was over on the safe side of the wall, like he was being cradled in safety. With an imaginary veil covering him, he slept peacefully for that short span he was alone. However during the day he was plagued with a guilt. Bubbles filled his stomach when a notification during his class that a substitute teacher read out. It was almost as if she knew that Myungsoo had done something.
And that was the beginning of the problems. The boy didnât know what he was giving away. It may have been the teacherâs soul, or their lives, he wasnât at all aware of boundaries. And so his sleepless night returned. After that one week had terminated, there was a brutal return. The nightmares plagued his head, stronger than before. Every scream was now louder, every image was now sharper, like the visions before were just being view but now, now it was if he was living those dreams It was as if it wasnât a dream any more, but reality. He couldnât tell whether what was in front of him was real or not, the nightmares leaking into his day.
His line of vision fell onto a black figure in the door way, the poorly lit corridor behind it still being bright enough to highlight it. He stared at it, assessing whether it was really there, and even after time had passed, he was still unaware. It looked so real, it had to be there. But it was so stupid to think it was there. Seeing was believe, right? He was just as unsure about trusting his own eyes. Shaking his head he leaned just a bit closer towards it. His mouth opened slightly, tilting his head slightly. It was calling hin- telling her to come closer. And so he did,edging off the bed.
Meeting the dark figure was quite the experience for Myungsoo. It startled him at first, scared him. But it was quite unlike those who had visited him before. He had expected the figure to scream at him, beg him for help, clasp at his wrists and feet, leave itâs marks just like every other one before it. He couldnât help but think these things were the parts of the people that he had sold to the darkness, coming to him for revenge. But instead of threatening him, the dark figure came to him and stood by him. It was almost like it offered to be him friend, something no one had done before. The dark figure was someone to trust. It scared away all the loud figures, they were gladly no where to be found. This was the protection he had been searching for, for a long time.
Now standing on the side of his bed, he watched the dark figure glide to the window. He followed it slowly, trusting it like he had done before, smiling slightly at the familiarity, the safeness and numbness it offered. He stepped onto the small, low ledge of the gaping window, pressing the panels open, feeling the wind whip across his calm face. It felt stronger than it should have, dragging him away almost into the night's sky. He turned back to the figure, asking it what to do with scared eyes. Fall. It told him with a soothing breath. And he did.
As they walked away and L claimed that he wasnât jealous, Sungjong giggled. Well, it sure didnât seem that way to Sungjong, since the older was glaring daggers at his best friend. He smiled slightly and poked the otherâs cheek lightly. âYou were glaring daggers at her,â he said, smiling. It was okay. Sungjong was okay with Lâs possesiveness. Well, maybe it was lookin out for him, but Sungjong saw it as possesiveness. He giggled. âYou were a teeny bit jealous, oppa~â he said.
As they walked, Sungjong let his mind and thoughts wander a bit, until something L said snapped him out. âThe high school experience? Well, it was fun for the most part. Teachers shove homework down your throat and exams are mental breakers and then you have to get good grades to get into a good college, so almost like any other school,â he said. He avoided mentioning the emotional scars around his heart from verbal abuse and physical scars from the bullying that littered his entire body. âHaru was in the same year as me and we became friend. I still keep in touch with her,â he added. Sungjong then looked at L and smiled a bit. âWhat about you?â he asked.
Sungjong looked around the main hall filled with music instruments, spotting a baby grand. He gasped and dragged L over. âI told you I would play for you!âhe said, sitting down and letting his fingers beginning to slightly ghost over the piano keys. He lost himself in the music and a smile rode on his lips. This was the true Sungjong. He was happy.
There was a sudden halt in his movements, causing his companion to lightly bump into him. "Sungjong-ah, I was not staring daggers at her." It was an audible mutter, followed by a remark not so audible as he continued to stalk off. "Possibly machetes, but definitely not daggers." L's pace was fast paced and quick, but steady enough for the other to be able to follow him. It wasn't as if he was escaping from Sungjong, more like escaping the subject. "I'm definitely not jealous, either." He called to the male behind him as a smirk bloomed on his face.
"About me?" There was significant lack of confidence his voice, the tone of speech wavering slightly. "And high school?" There another pause until he spoke again. "I graduated." His eye contact floated to every where aside from Sungjong. He was desperate to make his mind wander to anything but the time period of his days before the circus. He was different now.
L could only thank a greater being for the movement of topics, feeling a familiar arm loop around his own, dragging him away into all sorts of directions. He stood, hovering over Sungjong, watching him play. From the first note in, the strange sensation of his stomach dropping and warmth of his blood rushing to his cheeks filled him. The smile proudly displayed caused the sides of L's lips to pull up into a small smile. He watched as the latter became consumed in the pure sounds of the piano, and for a moment L had forgotten that the two were in public.
Once the short concert had ended, L's brown orbs still continued to follow Sungjong's movement, only allowing himself to stay focused on this tiny moment until he brought himself out of the trance, applauding happily. "That was... Interesting."
Haru seemed very surprised at Lâs sudden appearance behind Sungjong and Sungjong reached behind him and patted Lâs hair. âSorry Haru-chan~ Heâs nice,â he said, smiling. Haru brushed it off and giggled. âOf course, a pretty boy like you would totally grab the most good looking guys. You were like that in high school, even!â she exclaimed. Sungjong nodded. âAh, well, you know me. Nobody can resist how cute I am~â he said, giving her a cute grin. While he talked, though, he just kept petting Lâs head and Haru smiled.
She found the duo was adorable together, however she couldnât voice since she was getting glared at. Sungjong remembered at that moment that he needed to introduce L and he pulled L along side him. âHaru-chan, this is L~ and L, this is my childhood school friend for ages, Haruka. Now the two most awesome people have met!â Sungjong clapped happily. Haru offered L a smile, hoping to ease the glaring she got from the other. Sungjong just smiled obliviously.
Soon enough though, Sungjong snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed Lâs hand. âWe should head off, Haru~ I promised L -hyung that Iâll play the piano for him. â he said. Haru grinned. âIt was really nice seeing you, Sungjong-ah~â she said and ran off herself. Sungjong looked at L with a pout. âOppa~ were you jealous?â he asked.
Only offering the stranger, who now had a name, a simple nod for a greeting, L's glare softened slightly until his thoughts began to wander back to their surroundings. She wasn't a threat to him, but wasn't worth his undivided attention. "Mm." His ear perked slightly at the idea of Sungjong's past popping up. They hadn't spoken a lot about whether either one went through education since they didn't feel it was necessary. "Same school?" It was just a quiet and reserved comment that he made due to his pure curious as he moved his head to face her. His eyes glazed over, assessing that she was probably born in the same year as the younger male L was so fond of.
L continued to stand, silent. It wasn't as if he didn't want to talk to Haruka, it was just he didn't feel as if he needed to. He wasn't interested with her or what she had to say, to be completely honest and he didnt't have anything to say to her. L had never been one to fill every single moment with verbal speech, especially with someone who he had just met.
"Aniyo." He said bluntly, walking way as if nothing had happened. "Why on earth would I be jealous, Sungjong?" Questiong him, L stared at him, not amused at his small joke as he poked at Sungjong's pouted lips, earning a low and quiet chuckle. "So, Mister Popular, tell me how the High School experience was like?"
The diva laughed slightly. âI donât know what the difference is either,â he said, looking up from the pamphlet that he was holding and reading from. As L showed him a faux bored expression, Sungjong giggled. âAww, youâre adorable, hyung~â he said, giggling still. He looked around and dragged L to the European gardens. âLetâs go see what the European Gardens are like,â he said. Sungjong noticed that he was zoning out and he just smiled to himself.
Once L asked since when was he interested in musical instruments, sungjong grinned. âI used to play piano,â he said, humming. Sungjong, still looking around, as they headed to the European gardens. Spotting someone he knew, Sungjongâs face brightened with a huge smile. âHaru-chan!!!!â he exclaimed. A petite brunette girl turned around at the sound of her name and her eyes widened. Sungjong didnât expect to see one of his best friends since middle school here.
He walked over and go to chatting animatedly with Haru, ignoring L for the moment. âYeah, I had no idea that you were here,â he said, smiling widely. The diva giggled as the brunette girl hugged him tightly. âAww, youâre still as cute as ever, Sungjong-ah~â she said, âAre you here with anyone?â she asked. Sungjong blushed. âIâm here with L-hyung~â he said, blushing shyly.
"Yah! I am not adorable, Lee Sungjong." L retaliated, rolling his eyes at the other. "I am manly." He lifted his chin in pride, eyes closing slightly. "And even if I'm not, at least I'm manlier than you." He added quickly after, letting a smirk bloom on his face. Letting the younger drag him onwards into and through several mazes that L failed to pay attention to.Â
Feet dragging on the ground with a muffled sound, L let his jaw hang loose in relaxation and the dulling effect of no thoughts clouding his mind. He liked when he was around Sungjong alone because this clear mindset allowed him to actually control his body for the whole duration that they were together. The were very little people who L could speak to without his emotions heightening inappropriately and thus triggering his animalistic behaviour. "We'll have to find a piano and you'll have to play for me, you know?"Â
In amidst another one of L's deep thoughts, he heard the call of Sungjong's voice. It surprised him however to hear it wasn't his name that was being called out for. Lifting his head up, he quickly realised that his companion had abandoned him. Eyes wide, L searched for the shorter male, trying to distinguish Sungjong's distinct features amongst the crowd. When his eyes met the head of hair he had been searching for, it did not take long at all for him to stalk towards him.
"With L-hyung, he is." He snapped at the girl, eyes analysing her and her threat to the two. L didn't touch Sungjong in the slightest, unaware with how he would do so. Instead he just stood protectively behind him, glaring at the unwanted figure in as kind of a light he could possibly send.
Sungjong laughed slightly as the older asked whether his type of fun or Lâs type of fun, since he was harder to please. âI think youâll enjoy it, oppa~!â he flashed the older an adorable smile. Sungjong was shy, since this could be considered as a date, as his first date. He kinda figured that L was easy to please, since the older smiled so much around him, but while he stated that he was hard to please, Sungjong just decided to play along with the other.
As he walked along ahead, he turned back to look at L and he smiled happily. He was glad that he managed to drag him out. As he talked earlier, he noticed that the older boy zoned out on him and he laughed slightly. Sungjong fell into step with L, once the older asked him to repeat what he said earlier, Sungjong giggled. âThe European gardens or the main hall with all the music instruments first?â he asked again.
Sungjong, while waiting for L to respond, looked around. He remembered that a lot of his school friends and his neighbors came here a lot during their holidays. He wondered if he could see anyone that he recognized. Sungjong smiled. âA lot of my friends from school come here with their parents during the holidays,â he said, looking around still.
"Think. I might not enjoy it as much as you think." With a matter-of-fact tone and a blunt expression, L turned to walk onwards to the entrance of the themed park. "What ever you want. I have no idea what the difference between an Asian garden and an European garden. Are they not the same? This is stupid, Sungjong." His jaw hung loosely, showing a faux bored expression. Watching the male, L chuckled at his reaction with a roll of his eyes.
Scanning the area lazily, he listened to Sungjong's story intently. Conversations often drifted to him rattling on about past and present with L listening contentedly, nodding and murmuring a simple 'yes' when it was deemed appropriate. However it wasn't unknown if L drifted off into his own thoughts and Sungjong would have to some how re-attract his attention, something that wasn't actually too hard.
"Besides, when did you like instruments so much?" L blindly shot his question. Sungjong could have probably spoken about it in previous chats and he wouldn't have been less clueless. L hoped that Sungjong hadn't brought it up before as it would turn everything slightly awkward. Despite not having many friends to gain experience from, L knew that it would be rude to not be listened to. He couldn't stand people not listening to him when he rarely wanted to be heard, so he presumed Sungjong was the same.
As L spoke that Sungjong needed to honor him as they walked, Sugjong giggled slightly. He looked around as they walked. It was nice to have company that he actually liked being around. Sungjong didnât have very many friends in school but he liked friends and his relations with them. There was obviously Sunghak and quite a few others. He himself wasnât good around people but he tried hard to understand social norms.
Since they got on the train, Sungjong slept peacefully, unawares of the clicking of the camera. In a way, Sungjong was subconciously happy. It had been the best nap he had in a while. As the older poked his cheek, Sungjong made a face and sat up, rubbing his eyes. As the other stated that they were almost there, Sungjong stretched a bit and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. âMmm? Really?â he asked, looking out the window. âThis will be fun!â he exclaimed, feeling rested.
Once the train made it to the station, Sungjong stood up and grinned at L, excitedly. âKawaguchiko Music Forest!âhe bounced a slight bit and stepped out of the train. He had been wanting to come here for a while, but finally, he was here with L. As Sungjong looked around, there were many couples and families with children. He clapped like a little kid, eyes lighting up.
"Iâve wanted to come here for years! Ever since Misang noona told me about this place!" he exclaimed. He looked around wondering where to go. "Where should we go first, oppa? The European gardens or the main hall with all the musical instruments?"he asked, loooking to L for suggestions.
"My fun, or your fun? You know there's a very big difference between the two. I'm harder to please." With a smirk painting on his face and his chest puffed, he declared it loudly to the younger, unaware of the blatant lie he had just announced. L was easily pleased, with such low standards of 'fun' just being around another human being was enough to satisfy him and Sungjong's presence did more than that.
Stretching his arms out one last time, he placed his feet firmly on the carpeted ground floor, shuffling towards the exit of the train and easily stepping of the higher ground of the train onto the platform edge, eyes on Sungjong who was far more excited and had bounded off just slightly in front of him. Amusement lit up L's face, chuckling slightly at Sungjong's childish attitude, it was almost too endearing and sweet to watch, but he bared through that and continued to watch.
"Mm?" Nodding lazily, placing his hands in his coat pockets, examining the place around the two. Giving it a quick look over he found himself grinning, ecstatic that he was actually seeing normal people without being caged up and posted as a danger. Hell, he was behaving like a normal person that was relaxed. Zoning out of his thoughts he managed to catch the last word that Sungjong had spoken. "Huh?" He asked clumsily, looking back at him. "Say that again?"
As the older critiqued him, Sungjong smiled widely. âWell sorry for acting like a little kid, Oppa!â He grinned, still using the feminine honorific guiltlessly. He knew what the older wanted to do with all his usual comments. In a way, Sungjong felt so comfortable with the older shyer boy, that he laughed a lot around the older. He hadnât laughed around people in a while, so at the Cirque, he finally let himself go and he started being his real self.
Laughing around L simply became a second nature to Sungjong. His twinkling laugh echoed all the time that they were together. Sungjong couldnât help but simply adore his hyung for bringing the laugh out of the diva. He put up a shell around his true personality, but L was breaking that shell bit by bit. Sungjong was thankful for that. As the older called himself Oppa and simply visibly cringed, Sungjong giggled and cringed a bit himself. âThat was justâŠ. â he started and shivered. âbut yes, I think I am allowed to say to my Oppa~â he grinned.
As they walked to the train station, he smiled shyly, as the other asked who said that he loved him in the first place. âWe are friends, so itâs an unspoken thing that you like me as best friend!â He stated, nodding to himself. He pouted as the older ruffled his hair and smiled, showing those deep dimples to Sungjong. âYeah, youâre right. Even If I was burly, Iâm too soft-hearted to truly hurt anything,â he said, nodding.
Sungjong smiled slightly as the older mutted about how nauseating this trip may be if it was super cute and super fun. âYouâll like it hyung!â He exclaimed. Once the duo had their tickets, the train came and he pulled L on it.
Sitting down in a seat, he leaned his head on Lâs shoulder. âYou donât mind if I take a napâŠ.I was too excited last night to sleepâŠâ He said, trailing off, as his eyes closed and he drifted off into dreamland for a little bit. A small smile graced his face as he slept.
L shook his head, his hair flopping into his constantly sleepy eyes lazily. "Aish, kids these days. No respect for their elders." He tutted, arms crossed over his shoulder in mock disappointment. "You should honour me, you know." He stated rather than asked. As much as L wanted to think he was the superior one between the two, it wasn't likely. Sungjong knew more about social activities and what is appropriate to say at certain times, and when it's not. The cold boy still had no idea, not being experienced at all in this field. In a sense L was much more naive.
"How do you know I'll like it? You're not me." Lower lip jutting out to form a pout, L pulled away slightly from the younger without too much force so the two were still connected by Sungjong's cling.
Steps synchronised, L's head bobbed up and down as the two walked along. He took in the scenery, still intrigued by how the world worked around him. His 'sheltered' life hadn't prevented him from developing like the other children around him, his lack of schooling made him unaware of the details he needed to get through. He was far too immersed in his own though to be concentrating on his whereabouts, suddenly grateful for the company who knew where they were both going.
A soft thud was made when L plopped himself down on the seat of the train. Jerking his head slightly, flinching at the sudden contact of Sungjong's head on his shoulder. Lowering his head slightly he whispered loudly into his ear. "What did I tell you about sudden contact and not telling me about it?" He lifted his head back up, looking at the milky skinned boy with his eyelids lightly shut. He chuckled shortly, directing his eyesight to the window, lifting his bulky camera up to his face carefully so he wouldn't disturb the sleeper. All was quiet a part from the sharp clicking noises of the camera's shutter. It was peaceful.
Once satisfied with the pictures he had taken so far, he sank further into the comfy seat, listening to the train's noise as it ran across the tracks, body swaying from side to side as it moved along. L found it strangely comforting, almost dozing off to it, but knowing that at least one of them should be awake to notify when they were at their stop.
Poking Sungjong's smooth cheek, he lifted the shoulder he was resting on up slightly to try and wake him. "Wake up sleeping beauty, we're almost there." He murmured, stretching his own arms and legs to prevent a cramp he knew would come if he didn't.
Sungjong laughed cutely as the older stated that everything was fun to him since he was a child. âYah! Hyung! Iâm one year younger than you!â He exclaimed, giggling still. He liked spending time with L and clinging to the older gave him a sort of happy feeling in his heart. He smacked L lightly on the shoulder in revenge for that childish comment. He wasnât childish at all, so why did L treat him like this? He grinned and stood up. In public, in front of the other members, he was usually scolded and ignored by L, but still clinging to the older anyway.
In private though, Sungjong noted to himself, he changed. L was warmer to him and Sungjong managed to bring out that comforting smile that made Sungjong so warm on the inside. Sungjong blinked his puppy eyes wide as L nodded yes to his suggestion of going out somewhere. âYay~!â he exclaimed, but what made Sungjong laugh loudly was Lâs comment after his yes. Sungjong laughed and smiled at the older.
"Iâm pretty sure that even I was a Mexican macho wrestler, I wouldnât have to beat you up, because you would say yes anyway since you love me so much, right oppa?" he asked, clinging to the olderâs arm and leading the way to the train station after the older had his backpack.
"Weâre going to the Kawaguchi-ko Music Forest. Itâs like super cute and super fun and weâre gonna have fun there, oppa!" he exclaimed, excited.
"You were born a year before me, but you act as if you are half my age." L critiqued, looping the strap of one of his many cameras around his neck, slinging his bag over one side of his shoulders. He smiled softly hearing Sungjong's laugh. It was a light, tinkering sound- almost like a music box. It was almost beautiful to listen to. L was always happy when he was allowed to listen to such sweet melody, which was pretty much constantly when the two were together. It took some time, but he'd figured out what made the diva laugh and used it to his advantage, thinking that if Sungjong laughed a lot with the rather shy boy, then he wouldn't have the urge to laugh with anyone else but L, not wanting to share it, protective of it.
The male lifted his head to look at his dongsaeng. "Yah? Do you think you're allowed to say that to your Oppa?" L's nose scrunched slightly in embarrassment from calling himself that. However he knew that it would not only make himself cringe, but Sungjong too. He smirked, watching the other's reaction.
"Yah! Who said I loved you in the first place?" L blushed faintly, brushing the tight feeling his is gut as the question was asked. He pursed his thin lips and rolled his eyes, trying to cover up his slight discomfort. "Whatever, Sungjongie-ah." He muttered, shoving his into his front trouser pockets as Sungjong latched himself to his arm
Shaking his head, he moved himself to ruffle Sungjong's hair slightly, showing off his deep dimples in the form of a smile. "Even if you were burly, you could never bring yourself to hurt even a tiny ant." He chuckled lowly. "Super cute and super fun? I'm probably going to pass out with how nauseating this might be."Â
As time passed and their time in Shanghai came to a close, Sungjong made sure to seek out L all the time and cling to him. He knew the older probably secretly liked it, and he always back-hugged L and pulled him along to do stuff. Sungjong basically decided to cement his position in Lâs life. So, it should not have been a surprise when the younger diva bounded up to L after their arrival in Kawaguchi and poked his shoulder.
"Oppa~!" he exclaimed, freely using the feminine honorific with no guilt. "Letâs go somewhere, it will be fun!" He flopped Down next to the older and smiled at him. Sungjong prepared himself for all the possible answers and if the older said no,well then, Sungjong would just use aegyo on him, because aegyo always worked.
Sungjong wanted to go to the Kawaguchi-ko Music Forest, and before asking L if he wanted to go anywhere with him, Sungjong spent a day just researching places to go to in Japan, when he heard about the move to Japan. However, there was potential that they would become even closer and Sungjong liked being friends but it would be even more awesome to be âsuper best friendsâ. The mere thought made Sungjong giggle a bit and he looked up at L with expectant puppy eyes, practically begging him to say yes.
Sulking in his tent was like a hobby for L, something to pass time when his so called 'friend', Sungjong was dragging him along like a rag doll for some sort of 'adventure'. As far as L was concerned, he hadn't agreed on the term 'friend' yet, but apparently it wasn't something you plan on becoming, it just happens. When this friendship happened was unknown to the lost boy. There seemed to be a lot of skinship between the two, and whether L enjoyed it was also unknown, he acted annoyed when Sungjong would cling to him, which was most of time. Surely this boy had the capability of surviving with the elder, but it didn't appear to be that way. Wherever L was, Sungjong the lost puppy would be trailing not far behind him.
Once the youthful boy made his entrance in, L lifted his head up, his left eyebrow raising slightly in curiosity. Oppa? Aish, this boy. He truly is a diva. Rolling his eyes, he turned to Sungjong, his head tilting towards his right shoulder. "Everything is fun to you, Lee Sungjong. You are a child." He said, humour filling his tone, a small smile gracing his lips.Â
L was always grateful for being one of the few 'campers' to be granted with his own tent. Though he was given his solidarity so that no one was given the chance to be hurt by the male, it also meant that no one would witness how soft the cold prince could be towards the bubbly lemon candy boy. It was almost embarrassing to see how quick the transition of attitudes were as soon as the two were aloneÂ
Watching Sungjong rehearse his aegyo, something L should be getting used to, he rolled his eyes, letting his flop towards the floor and nodded meekly. "I don't think I can ever say no to you, because I know somewhere underneath that little diva you're probably some macho mexican wrestler and you might beat me up." Pushing him up from the small camp bed, grabbing that black backpack that rested at the corner of the tent along with the few possessions that L owned.
As the other turned and let out a question, the blonde medium nodded. âYes, spirits. As in ghosts. As in ghosts whose deaths you feel partially responsible for.â he stated, nodding all the while. The 4d young man smiled widely. He wasnât scary, well, he didnât make himself like this, so he was pretty normal in his eyes. But that was the opinion of the 4D one. He adjusted his jacket and stretched a bit.
"I want to help you," he said, his dark brown eyes boring into his face, almost staring into the soul of the other. In a way, he hoped that this guy would actually let him help and give him some closure and let him start getting over the deaths. It was something that Jaejoong considered as his duty. He wasnât trying to intrude on the otherâs life and tell him what to do.
Jaejoong just stood there, waiting for the other to say something, his black coat billowing slightly in the wind. Visually, he contradicted all ideas of what a spirit medium should be, but as he waited for the other to say something, Jaejoong focused his gaze on the ghost right behind him. âIt would be beneficial for you, if you let me get rid of them,â he said. His steely gaze drifted from the ghost and the boy in front of him, eventually coming to rest on the boy. âThe darkness coming from the ghosts will consume you, and that will be a danger to all.â he stated.
L's bulging eyes because wider at the stranger's statement, frantically stepping back a few steps, wanting to run away from him and this whole situation. "I-I've not been responsible for any deaths, I-I swear." He said, hearing the worry in his voice and cursing at himself mentally. "That's such a stupid thought, what do you think you're doing accusing people of murder?" He lied once again, but this time acting more hostile, more confident in the rot he had just come up with. He shook his head, thinking that would concrete the lie even further. L knew that lying would come back to hurt him. He'd seen it with others.
Muscles completely tensed and jaw tight, blinked several times, needing and wanting to get his head round this person as soon as possible, if it could be done at all. L found himself failing at this felt his hands ball into fists. His brain quickly over what would happen if he hurt this man in front of him. It would be easy to kill him. It would be easy to hide the evidence. He'd done it all before. But wouldn't that be another 'spirit' hanging around his conscience? Another death due to his part. This man knew he was a murderer and with that information, L didn't know what to do.
"Help?" He asked incredulously. L stopped to listen to him, watching his line of eye sight move between a spot behind him and himself. He looked back, finding nothing but the common air they breathed. He slowly turned back, "darkness? What darkness?"Â
As the older got close to him, Sungjong felt his heart hammering in his chest. He blinked, flustered, shivering at Lâs whisper in his ear. "I wonât let you think of those memories if they make you cry, then." How badly he wanted to believe the statement. How badly he wanted what he felt inside his heart to be real. But it would be too cliche. Sungjong wanted to say something, but he chocked on his words, only a strangled sound leaving his lips. As the other backed away from the intimate position, Sungjong gulped and tried to calm his heart down. âWell, itâs something thatâs part of my past,â he said, coughing a slight bit. âI canât exactly not think of them,â he added.
He straightened and crossed his arms, as L stated that he felt honored taking his first fight. Sungjong laughed quietly. âTaking a first fight isnât honorable as taking a first kiss, but I suppose you do hold a sentimental place in my heart for taking the fight,â the invisible feminine diva stated, a slight cute smirk gracing his lips. His heart, albeit still hammering, was calming down. Taking a first kiss, in Sungjongâs opinion, was something more sentimental and dangerous, since his first kiss was still with him.
L lifted his head up, tilting it slightly so his chin jutted out towards Sungjong. "Have you had your first kiss yet?" He asked. At this moment the lean boy wanted to smack himself repeatedly. As he stated before this was far too cliche, far too cheesy and far too unrealistic to be happening. His defined jaw clenched at the constant time bomb-Â One of us is going to get hurt. The worse thing was that this was the first time that L could possibly be the victim and not the offender. He didn't know what to do. He had seen people be hurt because of him, and it looked excruciatingly painful. But this time he wasn't sure if it would be less painful to put himself in that position rather than watch Sungjong in it. L mentally sneered at himself, realising how pathetic he really was. The thought that within the several minutes he had spent with Sungjong he had felt more than he had ever done in his entire life. This thin boy made L more than an empty shell and it sickened him.
He gulped audibly, eyes focused on Sungjong. "What are you?" L asked bluntly. There had to be some sort of trick. A power that makes me behave this way. He stepped back once again, wanting to distance himself. The quick transition of emotions was needed in his opinion, L didn't want to seem weaker than he really was. He was scared and he tried his best to cover that aura up with barriers of coldness and rudeness, unsure if it was working his time round. He figured that if Sungjong could see how up and down L was, how screwed up he really was, he'd leave him alone. Leave him to his twisted lonesomeness.
