this is not for you

Freddie Madden, 23, your problematic fave

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familiar face || daisy & freddie

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daisyxlandon:

Daisy closed in on herself a bit as he spoke, shivering in the cold air of the summer night. She felt broken, like the shell of the girl she used to be so long ago. Seeing Freddie made that reality so much clearer. When she was away from her old friends she could pretend that this was who she’d always been, but seeing them- especially him, was a huge reminder that she wasn’t. That the vibrancy and fun in her bones had disappeared with Zach. “I hope they do,” she said quietly, “I miss you. I- don’t even care about what happened in high school anymore. I can’t- holding a grudge seems so stupid after everything that’s happened.” 

So much time had passed since he’d seen his high school friends, he’d thought his emotions about the situation had all but faded. Sure, he still missed Daisy like crazy, but he’d thought he’d forgiven himself - that, even if he would never understand his own actions, he’d made his peace. But now his anger at himself, now, was as red-hot as it’d been when he was eighteen. “I - “ the words I miss you, too, made it to his chest, before dying in his throat. “I wish we could hang out again. We’re gonna see each other - I mean, we’re fucking living together for the time being, so obviously we’re gonna spend some time together, but I think that’s kind of cool. Maybe that’s not what you want, but I’ve got to say it,” his gaze dropped to his shoes, and he ground sand into the floor with his toes. “You know, it doesn’t matter to me all that much if you still care about that shit. As long as you don’t hate me, I can deal.”

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foxymelissa:

“Oh yeah,” Melissa gushed, “I get to help plan parties and they pay me. It’s amazing.” She opened up her suitcase and began to take out all her various clothing items including four bikinis, a bunch of shorts, twenty different tops, a few dresses and of course colorful and lacy bras and undergarments.

She looked over at Freddie when he said his room had a better view. “Magic as in I need to get laid and this is a bed. And your room may have a nicer view, but my room will smell better than yours at all times,” she teased with a grin.

“Now that’s a job I could get down with,” Freddie nodded, before reconsidering. “I’d probably have to get some organizational skills though. Maybe not the field for me.” While she unpacked, he took a seat on the closer bed, watching her with a little smile. It’d be another week before he started unpacking (if he got around to it at all).

“Oh, I get you,” he broke into a grin. “Love life isn’t thriving then? Want me to set you up with a Tinder?” he offered. “And don’t worry about me. After living out of a van with four other dudes for months on end, I’m pretty much numb to smell.” His nose scrunched at the memory. Perhaps not the most flattering thing to admit to an old friend.

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xoparisi:

“You’re making this way too easy for me – you know that right?” Her gaze turned to the house, unwavering, the corners of her lips turning downwards. “Can’t help but think that if I don’t go in now, I won’t. I guess it’s time for the next great adventure – let’s hope this house doesn’t eat me.”

“What can I say? I’m a giver.” He sighed, his gaze on the woman’s face. Freddie couldn’t understand her tentativeness - he couldn’t be more excited about the upcoming vacation - but then again he didn’t have an apprehensive bone in his body. “It’ll be fine. More than fine. Just think, you’ve seen all of these people through their very worst - their boy band obsessions, their young drunken fuck-ups, their inability to deal with acne. Our stack of blackmail is enormous.”

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actorjae:

“Tell me about it. A place like this is unreal.” He laughed, shooting Freddie a playful glare, “Me? I’m not going to be able to manage that. It’s a chore to get everyone in the same room together, let alone organise a beach trip. Pretty sure someone will end up screaming bloody murder cause they can’t find something-”

“Okay, so, we’re both inept. You’re right though, it’s impossible to organize anything with these people. Everyone needs sunglasses and sunscreen and tunes and beer and god, it’s enough to drive a man insane,” he threw his hands in the air. “We couldn’t make an event of it. I think our best chance at success would be to work separately, you know, gather as many people as we can, make it seem really casual.”

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familiar face || daisy & freddie

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daisyxlandon:

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, starting to collect herself, “I didn’t mean to lash out at you or cry everything’s just been so fucking hard” She’d told herself before the trip that she wasn’t going to dig up the past with Freddie, but just looking at him brought back such a rush of feelings and memories. There wasn’t anything he could do for her, not unless he had a time machine, “I’m glad you’re doing well, honestly. I’m just- not, and I shouldn’t take that out on you.”

“No you don’t have to - I should be the one apologizing, I mean,” running a hand through his hair, he again cursed the speed of his stupid, big mouth. “You have nothing to be sorry for. With everything you’ve been through? I don’t blame you at all,” he shook his head. “If you someone to take your anger out on, you need a verbal punching bag or something, I’m your fucking guy,” and he tried to give her a slight smile, but doubted the expression stuck. “Thanks, you know, that means a lot to me. I hope things get better for you. I mean, I know they will, but,” he exhaled, pausing his rambling. “I hope it’s soon.”

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foxymelissa:

“It’s kind of like school. You wake up, get ready, and go to work. Then you come home and repeat it for the rest of the week,” Melissa described realizing how utterly boring it sounded,·“The trick is to find something that doesn’t feel work.”

Melissa opened the door and smiled again. It was a gorgeous room with two large beds. She instantly walked over to the one by the window and threw her suitcase down on it.·

“This is where the magic is going to happen,” she grinned before turning back to look at Freddie.

“That’s foreboding, Melissa, you know I barely made in through school,” he laughed.·“Guess I’ll have to bank on that. And you have, then? Found something that doesn’t feel like work, I mean.”

He peeked over Melissa’s shoulder while she entered, fingers crossed that the room wasn’t nicer than his. It wasn’t, though that only really spoke for how nice the entire house was.·“Magic?” He raised an eyebrow.·“We’ll see about that. I mean, it’s not a bad room, but mine’s got a better view,” he lied.

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jace-whitehousesrpg:

A voice bellows out, not at all full of the angry tone one would project towards an intruder. It’s full of uncertainty, and Jace can understand that. While Freddie’s identity becomes more clear, the scant light from the moon and stars is more on Jace’s side than it is Freddie’s. He chuckles lowly, ducks his head, and takes long steps forward to close the distance between them.

“It can be for you, Freddie.” Jace invites himself to take a seat in the sand behind his fellow friend, feeling misplaced for a second. Does he continue conversation like graduation was yesterday, or does he wither into himself and let awkwardness ensue? He clears his throat and looks up, crystal clear eyes meeting Freddie’s that are a stark contrast of dark brown. “So, uh… it’s beautiful out,” he starts lamely. He really just came out here for solitude with his music and notebook, and as he thinks about that he realizes that maybe Freddie was looking for the same space. Quickly, he brushes his bangs from his forehead rather anxiously, and Jace asks, “Did you wanna be alone? I… I can go sit somewhere else.”

Freddie grinned while Jace approached, the moon briefly obscured by the other’s silhouette. "Thank god,” he replied when he’d sat, leaned back and pressed his palms in the sand. “Things could’ve gotten awkward for me real fast.” Watching Jace’s expressions, his motions, was like paging through a yearbook - he was overcome with a warm kind of nostalgia knowing that, while so many things had changed, some of it still felt familiar.

“No, really I’m itching for company,” he shook his head at the offer. “I wouldn’t have come out by myself, but I thought everyone else was passed out.” Then, eyes falling to the notebook in Jace’s grasp, he continued, “But hey man, if that’s what you were looking for don’t pay me any attention. I can still like, make peace with god or something. Not a bad night for it.” He laughed but, gaze drifting back downwards, couldn’t help but ask, “Are you working on something?”

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HI guys I’ve been bedridden with illness/trying to build circuits while bedridden with illness so sorry about the absence! I’m still trying to catch up with school and not die but I’m gonna try and get to replies tonight. If u want me to drop something because I took 5ever to get back to you just let me know.

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jace-whitehousesrpg:

The Atlantic Ocean is probably Jace’s favorite part of this beach house vacation. Dusk had fallen while he ate his veggie burger, animal style, oozing with ketchup, lathered in his own homemade Thousand Island dressing, onions and slices of vegan cheese peeking from between the two patties.

When he finished he traipses down to the mostly empty beach. People don’t swarm their private area, the backyard to the beach house, so it’s pleasantly vacant. Just like the desert, it gets cold at night, although nowhere near as cold as it does in the winter. North eastern winters are a real bitch. The water is as cold as any inland Maine stream, but not nearly as clear. Nothing is clear out here, Jace thinks, nothing but the sky up above filled with twinkling stars.

Jace hugs his notebook tight at his side and breathes in the air that’s so thick with salt that he swears he can taste it. He appreciates the silence of the night and how everything is so still and how the moon glows on the ghost white sand. But, the beach isn’t as empty as he originally thinks, Jace doesn’t pay them any mind not wanting to bother them. Just offers a friendly wave. His headphones are pulled from his ears so he can listen to the dune bushes rustle and the waves crashing at the shore. He is there in hopes something strikes his muse. It’s been months since he’s tried writing any lyrics, and he feels the itch to put his pen to paper. 

With a soft, blissful sigh, Jace smiles to the Eastern horizon. Although taking a vacation induced a lot of stress on him for many reasons, he feels at peace.

The house had fallen quiet but, still brimming with energy, Freddie had made his way out to the beach. Though not usually one to find interest in solitude, the seaside - the dark stretch of the night sky, the rustle of waves under the wind, the smell of salt and chill of sand under bare feet - well, even he could occupy himself for a while.

Sprawled in the sand, he may’ve laid for another hour if a dark figure hadn’t intruded into his vision. Squinting, he raised his hand to wave back even if he couldn’t really make out who he was waving to. Was it an intruder? Was he gonna have to kick some drunk kid to the curb? Though, if he were being honest, he’d be more likely to try and coax alcohol out of them than send them on their way. He sat up and, eyes adjusting to the moonlight, recognized the figure. Or, at least, he thought he did.

“Jace?” he yelled, his tone still uncertain. “Is that you over there?”

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foxymelissa:

“Third door on the right. I’ve got a good feeling about that one,” Melissa answered with a nod. She planned to share a room with Delia and was happy she’d get her choice of beds first.

“That’s great about your band. I follow you guys online and you sound pretty damn good,” she grinned. She nudged him playfully before she headed toward her selected room.

“She’s certainly a looker,” Freddie responded, tugging the suitcase forwards. “Thanks, man. We sound okay, I guess,” he scratched the hair behind his ear, a nervous habit. Talking about his music made him uncharacteristically self conscious - he could never pin down a reaction that balanced gratitude, sincerity, and not being a total dick about it. “When I get a real job, I’ll have to give you a call. The mechanisms of the adult world mystify me.”

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familiar face || daisy & freddie

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daisyxlandon:

“I’m just so fucking broken, Freddie,” she said quietly. All the anger she had towards him was dissolving until all she felt was numbness. Her chest stung with the weight of everything that had happened, everything that Freddie was saying. Despite this, despite everything that had happened between them, he was always the only person she could be completely honest with.“Nothing good ever lasts in my life, and you- you were supposed to be my forever friend. I don’t have anyone left.” 

“I wish I could make things better for you. I mean, you’ve got to know - “ he stopped in his tracks, taking a breath to try and calm the pounding in his head, he always tended to speak too quickly. More slowly, he said, “If there’s anything I can do for you, say the word. I know I can’t make things good between us, not after I messed things up so bad, but I’m still here for you, if you want.” Her words hit him right in the chest, tied his heart in knots. “This is all so fucked,” he said, and felt the words catch in his throat. “I thought we’d at least be here a week before I’d make you cry.”

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xoparisi:

“Pride comes before the fall, you know,” she teased, a laugh punctuating the end of her words, “With that ego, you better watch yourself.” The corners of Delia’s lips had quirked upwards into an amused smile as she listened to Freddie. As ridiculous as it was, and it was nothing short of ridiculous, she couldn’t help but continue with the line of thought. “Heart? What would that be good for? Giving at heart-rending speech to boost the morale of my companion before I keel over at the mercy of the house?”

“What ego?” he asked, grinning ear to ear. “Me? I don’t think so.” It was a joke, and Freddie knew it - even he had come to realize he was about as conceited as people came. “Well, yeah. I couldn’t have put it better myself. Sure that’s not much comfort to you, personally, but trust me when I tell you you’re a vital part of the story’s development.” Looking forwards, he nodded to the house in question and added, “Think you’re ready to brave the place?”

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actorjae:

“It’s crazy. It doesn’t feel like real life. But yeah - I’m sure we can get a group beach trip underway. Who doesn’t love the beach right?”

“I’m totally still convinced I’m about to wake up. And everyone will agree to a beach trip, for sure, but getting everyone up and out the door is gonna be a task and a half. I’ll leave the organizing up to you,” he grinned. “I’m more of a moral support kind of guy.”

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foxymelissa:

“I’ve been good. Work is good. Friends are good. Guys… not so good,” Melissa answered with a smile. She started to follow him up the stairs. Freddie had always been someone who was pretty easy to talk to even after the mistake happened.

“What about you? I assume you’ve been tearing it up since graduation,” Melissa joked.

“Well, two for three - that’s as much as you can ask for,” he gave her a look that was half grimace, half smile. “Just tell me I don’t have to continue this chivalry trend and kick some guy’s ass. Love to fight, don’t get me wrong, but we did just get here.” He rolled his eyes, reaching the top of the steps.

“Me? I haven’t matured a bit since you last saw me, don’t worry,” he winked at Melissa. “The band made it off the ground, so that’s not so bad. I pay rent. Still haven’t gone to jail. Could be worse.” He glanced up and down the hallway. “Which way do you wanna go?”

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familiar face || daisy & freddie

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daisyxlandon:

Daisy looked down. The anger that had bubbled up in her chest had faded into sadness, and she couldn’t look the man who had once meant so much to her in the eye. “I needed a best friend,” she sobbed, a lot less angry this time, “I don’t know how you were supposed to know, but I just thought that you would.” She sat there for a moment, desperately wiping the tears off of her face and trying to collect herself. Five years of built up emotions were pouring out of her all at once, and though she felt bad for lashing out, she couldn’t help but let herself feel them. She spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper, “Why did you do it?” 

“Well, I didn’t. I wish I had, I would’ve done - I don’t know, something - but that’s not any help to you now, is it?” The sound he made was almost a laugh, but there wasn’t any humor to it. It was hard to watch Daisy break down, knowing this was a situation that played out with no hero, no solution. Like a shattered  glass, nothing about this could be fixed; all you could do was pick shards off the floor. He reached a hand out, and it hovered over her shoulder for a second before she spoke, and he pulled back like she’d stung. “ I - “ he begun, and promptly shut his mouth. This was a question played on repeat in his mind - why, why, why ruin something good? why hurt someone you love? - but no answer was a salve. “I can’t tell you anything you want to hear, or even give a good excuse,” he exhaled. “I wasn’t thinking about you. Or maybe I was, and was just so fucking freaked out about losing a good thing I figured I’d ruin it myself. I don’t know. I’d take it back, if I could.”

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School really got me yesterday yikes :\ but it’s the freakin weekend so I should be on after class to do replies & stuff!

[freddiemadden-blog]

familiar face || daisy & freddie

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daisyxlandon:

“The only person I wanted to see was you!” she admitted, unable to stop the few tears that spilled over. “You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend and the whole time all I could think was that I wanted you there, I needed you there. Because despite everything you were the only person left in the world that understood me,” she didn’t know why she was telling him this, “Just fucking forget about it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?” he asked, tugging his hair, and instantly felt guilty. He never wanted to see Daisy cry, certainly not in part because of him, and it made him feel overwhelmingly helpless. “We were best friends, but I’m pretty sure I did a magnificent job in ruining that. How was I supposed to know reaching out wouldn’t have made everything so much worse? Maybe I used to know you better than anyone, but it’s been a while, and a lot has changed. I can’t be sure I know anything about you at all,” he exhaled. Why did things have to turn out like this? Why couldn’t things have just slid in to place, the way they always were? “I won’t forget about it. I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you really want, but I can’t just forget.”