we went to Broomfield Hospital for an appointment with Freddie’s dermatologist, we arrived 20 minutes early so decided to grab a drink before we went through to the waiting room. I took Freddie over to a table with a couple of sofas in the corner whilst James joined the queue. I thought I’d take a photo of Master Cheese as I’d already decided I was going to write a post about what the appointment schedule was these days. A general update on our lives.
Anyway whilst, minding my own business, chatting to Freddie and taking a couple of photos a lady came and sat opposite. I didn’t really pay much attention but Freddie kept looking at her. She took her coat off then got up the join the queue to order her coffee, as she stood up she looked me straight in the face and said ‘all people do these days is take photos of their kids, I’m glad it wasn’t like that when I was younger’. Then off she went to get coffee.
I was so taken aback by her comment that I silently watched her walk off. Now, I know we live in a time of technology/social media and people document more aspects of their lives. There’s a generation that have inbuilt that if they don’t photograph a situation/event/party and make it public then it didn’t happen, or they didn’t enjoy it and people build artificial lives of pure happiness to portray through social media when it’s not true. I realise there is so much bullshit out there and I realise that is very sad. (I’m actually quite intelligent you see). I have also questioned, at various stages, as to whether I should make Freddie’s face so public. I way up pros and cons of sharing our journey and whether it’s in his best interest to have his face in papers, on social me etc. I am strict in some respects and I don’t like other people posting pictures of Freddie publicly. I do expect, at some stage to receive some for of criticism for writing a blog and having social media accounts featuring Freddie. It’s a subject that I would discuss if people were interested/curious about my motives, however, I will not tolerate a random dig from somebody who doesn’t know me or anything about me when I am minding my own business with my son.
By the time James returned I was stewing and getting really annoyed. I briefly explained my encounter to him and said I was going to say something when she returned. He told me that he thought I should and confirmed that he thought she had been rude.
I could feel the adrenaline pumping as she returned so I can’t recall word for word what I said but it was along these lines;
Me ‘Excuse me I was really taken aback by your comment about me taking a picture of my son, not that it’s any of your business, but my son has a rare genetic condition and a low life expectancy so if I want to take a photo of him I will’
Lady ‘I was just saying a comment; it’s what people do these days...’
Me ‘It was rude and it’s none of your business’
Lady ‘People say things, people say things to disabled people all the time..’
Me ‘what on earth has things people say to disabled people got to do with it?’
I think then it was along the lines of she gets things said to her because she is disabled... and something about how I haven’t asked about the comments people make (to her)... at that point I was very quick to point out my son is severely disabled and I don’t need to ask about what people say to her...maybe I told her it’s irrelevant (if I didn’t I should have!)... then I remained quiet for a minute and said ‘If you have inappropriate things said to you even more reason why you shouldn’t say anything to others, and if someone tells you you’ve upset them you should be able to say you’re sorry because you know what it feels like.’
I’d lost her by this point, she had twisted her body away from me to check her phone and read her book. Clearly giving me the message loud and clear that she didn’t really give a shit what I had to say and didn’t really care that I found her rude. I suspect it’s what I looked like, in my teens, when my parents tried to tell me off and I didn’t really give a shit.
Usually, after an encounter like that, I’d like to think I’d made someone think twice for the future but sadly I think she was just a miserable lady that felt entitled and carried a chip on her shoulder because of the way she has been spoken to at various stages in her own life. That does not make her attitude okay and if I didn’t have Freddie with me I would’ve totally lost my shit (the fact James was sat there rubbing my back whilst I was talking almost made me explode as it was) and not stayed as calm and composed as I did.
Afterwards I asked James if I handled it okay and he told me he was proud of me, so that’s a win.
Thankfully it’s Tuesday which means Yoga so after winding myself up again I am now off to find some calm and relaxation...