i have a dream

I'm going to wait to give you the whole story about me in my auto-biography. What you need to know is that right now, I'm the lead singer of E.V.I.L., the best girl band known to mankind.

[fredfacilier]

text 💬* faciliers

Celia: I'm not sure what I am, going after girls if I don't know for sure feels like cheating, right? And we're not supposed to do that anymore...

Celia: Whaaaat? Ain't never met a person who's a flea infested mongrel in Auradon, whoever wrote it musta been from the Isle.

Freddie: It's called experimentation for a reason, C. Sometimes experiments fail :-P As long as you warn a girl and she agrees to get down anyway, I think you're good. Or at least I hope you are.

Freddie: Songs aren't literal, babe. They just meant that the girls were ugly, not that they had real fleas. Either way is pretty fucked though, wouldn't you say?

[mfaeryx]

Mal lounged in her chair, legs kicked up on the coffee table and arms behind her head as she stared at the wall behind the television. Instead of focusing on whatever program was on, she was thinking on how to re-purpose the space. “You know what I’ve never tried?” she asked Freddie after a moment, moving back to an upright position. “I’ve never built a blanket fort. And we could totally make a big, comfy one right here,” Mal circled around the area ambiguously while she spoke. “Come on, we should totally do it! just move all this stuff to the side and the floor will be covered in nothing but pillows and blankets and we can just hole up in here binging Crownflix and cookies. It’ll be fun! What do you say?”

🛏️ Build a pillow and blanket fort for them to tell stories, stay warm and/or spend time together | @fredfacilier​

[fredfacilier]

Freddie had been scribbling away at her song-book, but it was all in vain. Her river of inspiration had been drier than a desert these days and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. She was probably just pushing herself too hard and needed a break, or at least that’s what she told herself to justify putting the book down. She looked up at Mal’s voice and laughed in disbelief. “Girl, half the Isle was basically a blanket fort. It’s not like we were missing out.” 

Still, a comfy blanket fort would be another story. One with soft fuzzy blankets and pillows that still had their guts inside, and cookies and Crownflix and all the goodies they’d always deserved. Freddie groaned slightly while getting to her feet and standing besides Mal for a second to try and see what the other girl saw possible in the space before shrugging. “I say you’re on. But I get most of the cookies.” And with that, she flashed Mal a semi-wicked smile before getting started and pushing some chairs to the sides of the room, giving them more space to work with.

[jaykadri]

🌽 for our muses to hang out in the corn maze.

Jay pushed back another stalk of overgrown corn, leading Freddie down the path that was clearly less traveled. He had decided that it was all clearly a trick, meant to keep them from going the right way, and he didn’t really give Freddie much say in whether or not she agreed.  “So why’d you really drag me out here, huh?” Jay asked, waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively. Then a thought hit him, and he groaned, “You’re not trying to get my help writing some song about being lost among the corn, are you?”

@fredfacilier

[fredfacilier]

Freddie let a little snort come out of her nose at Jay's come-on. It was all talk anyway and they both knew it. Jay was handsome and cocky in the way she liked but just in case Jordan ever woke up and felt the feels, it was better to keep things non-messy. 

"Keep dreaming, sugar. 'Sides, any song about corn sounds literally too corny." She bit her lip not to smile at her own bad pun. "No, I just needed somewhere we could talk in public because Imma bout to ask you for a shady favor." 

She looked behind them, and then around the next corner before continuing. "How hard would it be to hurt someone during a tourney game and pass it as an accident?"

[fredfacilier]

text 💬* faciliers

Celia: Hey, at least I'm a baby, some of the ones in my grade still got a chance for a glow up. Your old dudes are hot or not and that's that with them. Yeah, nah, I got taste. I'll look for cute girls instead.

Celia: Dude, they love songs like 'Who Let the Dogs Out' and 'Show me Your Pussy' which... oh shit nvm, that last one ain't about cats.

Freddie: Guess you'll have to wait till you're not the baby to get homework help from a cutie lol. Our yeah, there's the girl option which is way easier to find. And that's coming from someone who's strictly dickly.

Freddie: Who Let the Dogs Out wasn't about dogs neither. It was dudes asking who let so many ugly girls into the club.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️:D FRAY

Jay: You just don't get her the way that I do :-p She loves to deny it, but we've definitely got something special. Yeah, why not? I'm sure there are enough CCTV cameras all over the country that we could catch it all on camera, easy.

Freddie: Mhm :-P keep telling yourself that, hot shot. Something tells me you think you got something special with every hot girl in school. Just a security camera's angles would be weird. We've also all gotta wear Go Pros.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️+ FRAUDREY

Audrey: I suppose there's less need for it now that the world seems convinced I'll never be queen, but when that WAS my destiny, it was certainly important to give the people a say!

Audrey: Well it's hardly an insult! I know that people have done their best to try and erase the wonderful qualities that both Chad and I have, but it would be quite wonderful of you to be one of the first to boldly declare that I'm still just as wonderful as I've always been.

Freddie: Girl, you know destiny is a load of garbage as stinky as the Isle, right?

Freddie: Sure, as a friend. I tell people you're better than they think you are more than often enough but I'm not good with people thinking I have feels for you, sorry not sorry. I'm too hot to publicly have unrequited feelings and that's just fact.

[fredfacilier]

n-atua·:

It ain’t about me being lazy, it’s about the rest of the student body being lazy and counting on my frat to continue to provide all the ragers. I mean, come on. That’s just sad if everyone has to rely on one frat for all their party needs.

The king and Jane are setting up some friendship festival, and next month is October which means all the Halloween parties. If you can't wait but also don't wanna do anything, I think the word for that is lazy, boy. You could always just go out drinking with your friends too, you know. That's always fun!

[fredfacilier]

heath-lemon·:

It’s really just your basic, off the shelf black bag. It’s purpose is to transport books, I didn’t think it needed to be anything fancy. And it’s been posted about publicly! Both here and on bulletin boards, which I’m pretty sure nobody but faculty actually looks at. Should be good on the whole “getting into trouble” front.

It doesn't need to be fancy but if you're going to be losing your stuff everywhere, it'd be easier on you if it was recognizable. Plus, plain black bags are so boring. You should think about replacing it with something that has more personality.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️:D FRAL

Mal: Every time I turn around she's trying to blame me for something, how am I supposed to be the one that needs to give anyone a chance? Sounds like Audrey's the one that needs to stop looking for any opportunity to tear me down. If she's not going to give me a chance, why should I give her one?

Mal: I'm still offended you think there's two people more inspirational than me 🙄

Mal: See, another reason I deserve my own song. I know you oh so well.

Freddie: Because you're the better person.

Freddie: LOL instead of wasting your time being offended, work on impressing me instead.

Freddie: Girl, that don't earn you a song. That just means we're actual friends lol.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️:D FRAY

Jay: Damn, guess she's just scared of failing right out the gate, didn't know she was such a wimp. Okay, okay... tell her that she'd get exclusive rights to cover it on her webshow if she's in?

Freddie: The show's an interesting angle, didn't consider that. Does that mean we'd have to get the whole thing filmed? Because that'd be fun to watch back, how I beat each and every one of you :-P

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️+ FRAUDREY

Audrey: Unless the world has slandered you and utterly misconceptualized you and you need to reinvent yourself completely! Not that I would EVER. Some people in Auradon always have taste no matter what the circumstances. And thank you! That was the correct answer but it's nice to have someone else besides me who's willing to say it.

Audrey: Oh? Not romantic ones, I hope, I'd hate for suitors to mistakenly think I've given you my heart.

Freddie: That's giving other people way too much power over who you are so good thing you'd never do that. Audrey 1.0 is too good to change completely :-P

Freddie: Girl, you think I want anyone to think I have the feels for *you*? Please. We're on the same page there.

[fredfacilier]

text 💬* faciliers

Celia: What about cute boys who do your homework for you? Got any of those around? Seems like it would be way faster than doing it myself.

Celia: Yeah, dying cats. Just write about them, these AKs are even crazier about their pets than Jafar is about Iago.

Freddie: There's barely any cute boys around in the first place, much less ones that wouldn't make you look dumb with the kinda homework they'd turn in. If you're good with bad grades and with downgrading your "cute" standard to "non ugly" though, that's always an option.

Freddie: I mean, you ain't wrong lol but I wouldn't ruin my artistic integrity like that. What kinda shitty song would that be?

[heath-lemon]

If anyone happens to find a bag full of chemistry books, could you let me know? I seem to have misplaced my belongings and some of those books are rented, not purchased. It’d be great if I didn’t lose them so I don’t have to pay for both the ones I lost and a replacement to use this semester. Um… thanks?

[fredfacilier]

Any details on what the backpack looks like from the outside, genius? No offense, but some of us are more likely to get in trouble if any staff member found us rifling through backpacks that aren't ours than others. And I can't risk getting in trouble, my time is precious.

[fredfacilier]

text 💬$ haldie

Haley: Hey! I could totally see Lena banging in like, a little meadow that has a cute pond or something after a sweaty horseback ride with a sexy cowboy! Unless that's too much of a weird almost-daddy kink and she'd rather like, idk, find a Tarzan type who's been swinging through the trees following her all day to stare.

Haley: OMG I love when I get to be two things at once, being limited is so boring. Like, can you imagine? There's so much of me to give, just being a wrecking ball forever and ever would be tragic. LOL I MEAAAAAAN... I definitely have a penis shaped mold and it's just for baking, I haven't been making any plaster de penis or anything. Right??? Ugh, why can't classes come in like, fifteen minute snippets? Those are way more digestible.

Haley: ❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤

Freddie: Lena would fuck in any element lol. I gotta give it to you though, that meadow and cute pond situation sounds way too her, to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if it's already happened. Maybe not with a sweaty cowboy. I don't doubt she would, because a daddy kink just feels right there, but there don't seem to be many hot cowboys around in the first place, do there?

Freddie: LOL you're way more than two things all the time so that's very good news, but if you expect me to name them all, forget it :-P besides, if wrecking ball was your only thing, I wouldn't be able to write songs about you because Miley kinda stole that title. Of course you have a penis pan, ofc. You should make me a penis pastry soon, now I'm hungry. RIGHT?! It almost makes me miss classes back on the Isle, when being late was encouraged and skipping was even better. Almost.

Freddie: 💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜

[n-atua]

Who do I have to kill around here for a party though? A whole two weeks back at campus and no word on, well, anything! When did everyone get so boring?

[fredfacilier]

I can't be the first one to tell you that if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. If you stop being lazy and get the gears of something fun into motion, I'm sure the E.V.I.L. girls would be more than happy to be your entertainment.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️% FRUMMER

Summer: Telling people to put frozen grapes in their wine to keep it cold really makes them lose their cool for some reason? I guess there are a lot of winos in Auradon lol.

Summer: I would have thought you'd wanted to save that for an on stage debut ;-)

Summer: There are worse addictions to have! Although sorority life has taught me that I don't need to buy new clothes when I can just raid the closet of my next door neighbor. Borrowing and all that 😂

Freddie: Never would've thought of that but then again, I'm not too huge into wine. I'm more of a champagne or liquor girl myself. I'll try the grape trick though, maybe it'll make the stuff taste better.

Freddie: That's a different level of cuteness. Picking out a stage outfit, that takes getting to a certain state of mind lol!

Freddie: You don't feel weird in other people's clothes? Maybe its cause I did the borrowing clothes life back on the Isle and finally get to have my own stuff now, but I can not share my clothes, not even with my best of girls. Oh, you know what a worse addiction is that I might have? Coffee.

[fredfacilier]

TEXT ✉️:D FRAL

Mal: I can't when Ben is setting up tea time with her. He insists that we just need to spend time together and then we'll be the best of friends. I say fat chance.

Mal: Wow, and I'm not inspirational? Rude.

Mal: Corona is always a fun place. There's usually people playing music in the square too, so maybe you'll be hit with some inspiration?

Freddie: Imma say something that might piss you off for real, but it's worth saying so here goes. Ben puts in a lot of effort for you and always has. He loves you and knows you real well by now, and he's known Audrey all her life and still considers her a friend -- if he says you two might hit it off, maybe he's right. You at least owe him trying it, and a REAL try at that. None of this "fat chance" shit, because if you go in like that, of course your chances suck more. Maybe you'll end up liking her, maybe not, but you deserve to know for sure one way or another. For Ben. You know, the things we do for love.

Freddie: If the lack of songs fits... and chill lmao I've barely written songs about real people. Its only been like two.

Freddie: Sounds good. You know I always like a musical place :-P