text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: YOUR FACE IS AN AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL! I feel like if Ben, or Evie or Carlos or Jay got hit by a bus you'd totally cry!
Mal: THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE. Wow, going straight for the kill shot. That's cold.
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text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: YOUR FACE IS AN AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL! I feel like if Ben, or Evie or Carlos or Jay got hit by a bus you'd totally cry!
Mal: THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE. Wow, going straight for the kill shot. That's cold.
text ✉️ mal & felix
Felix: 😬 Have you had garlic bread from this side of the barrier???????
Felix: Smells like fear to me.
Mal: I honestly didn't taste a difference so 🤷
Mal: I hate you so much right now, I might not share my frosting with you 😝
text ✉️ mal & celia
Celia: Yeah, you get it. You got friends that are basically like marshmallows, too. Even if one of 'em's a blue marshmallow and I bet adding blueberry to that shit makes it taste nasty.
Celia: Don't gotta know to know mine was better :-p Although that sounds kinda fun, how'd you swing that? Don't they got babysitters on you all the time now?
Mal: 'Even if?' Wow, way to make E sound like a bad friend lmao
Mal: Please. You can take the girl off the Isle, but you can't take the Isle out of the girl. Besides, it was Halloween. I wore a mask, duh.
text 💬 hal
Hemi: I think the whole world's 2020 resolution should be less carriages, more hoverboards! But that's a totally different topic lol, we can leave the pumpkins out of it.
Hemi: Totally cheating! Also, not that impressive, she didn't have to make the pumpkin into any kind of unusual shape - a stretch limo would have really tested her green thumb. OR EVEN JUST HER WAND.
Mal: I think I'll stick to my limo, thanks. That thing is super comfy, you have no idea.
Mal: I mean, it is FG. She's doesn't exactly strike me as very creative. More straightforward and without all the bells and whistles. And also a hypocrite since she says cheating is bad.
text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: I WASN'T. IT'S FACTS. No it isn't! Also I don't believe you!
Mal: STILL SOUNDS LIKE AN AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL. And you don't have to believe me, but that doesn't make it any less true!
text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: WHY WOULD I WANT TO? LETTING OUT MY EMOTIONS IS HEALTHY! I'm plenty tough! Crying is not a sign of weekness!
Mal: DON'T GO ALL AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL ON ME. Crying IS a sign of weakness! That's why I never cry 😄
text ✉️ mal & felix
Felix: Hey now, garlic bread is the food of the gods!
Felix: Can I sue you for that? Because I should lol drinking is fun! You're not afraid of being fun, are you, Mal?
Mal: Then the gods have shitty taste in food, that's all I'm saying.
Mal: It's a choice to not drink, it's not because I'm "afraid." How dare you.
text ✉️ mal & celia
Celia: Man, I need to get more friends who are good at taking that kinda stuff. I'm always worried I'm scaring Dizzy more than she likes to let on.
Celia: Better than Maloween, I'm sure :p I had enough candy to fill up a whole pillowcase and there wasn't a single of those gross ass Dots in sight.
Mal: Sounds like E. She definitely does not get my worst. Actually... neither does Carlos... Wow, I think I'm just mean to Jay.
Mal: And how do you know how Maloween went? I had plenty of fun scaring little kids for the first time in forever.
text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: NO I CANNOT. Also....duh. It's been gone and sent you a post card that's like "Glad you aren't here making Elle cry!"
Mal: YOU CAN TRY! Huh, never got that card, just one that says "Keep making her cry, she needs to toughen up."
text ✉️ mal & felix
Felix: Then I'm there, at least for the frosting :-P They're sneaky about gross food though, you right. Once I swiped a chocolate ice cream cone and it was chocolate-GARLIC flavored! Like? What?
Felix: Real alcohol doesn't have bubbles, wtf? I meant something like whiskey. Now that's a solid drink. Puts hairs on your chest and all that.
Mal: Right? At least on the Isle we knew what we were getting - garbage. Here you have to guess because nothing is what it looks like. Ew, garlic anything is disgusting but garlic and chocolate?? So gross.
Mal: I don't really drink outside of social functions normally, sue me for not being a drunky pants like you :P
text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: CAN I? I don't believe in me! Also that's probably the meanest thing you've ever said to me. I'm Baby. But I also deserve popcorn!
Mal: YOU CAN DO IT! Wow, if that's really the meanest thing I've ever said to you... then I must really have lost my touch.
text ✉️ mal & felix
Felix: ...what kind of cake is it? Because some of their cake is surprisingly awful.
Felix: If it's worth it though I'll swipe some real alcohol for us from somewhere.
Mal: Looks like chocolate, but knowing my luck it's probably something gross like cinnamon spice. All I know is it's brown and covered in frosting. And frosting's the good part.
Mal: Nothing with bubbles, please :) I don't understand how anyone in Auradon can stand the bubbles.
text ✉️ mal & celia
Celia: [https://media1.tenor.com/images/067bb2e4df4aaa6d8c702eb9eabb0964/tenor.gif?itemid=11478682]
Celia: Call the tires a trick and the eggs a treat, gotta do Celiaween right.
Mal: Definitely the way to go. Plus it's Jay. It's just fun to mess with him for no other reason than I can.
Mal: And how was Celiaween?
text 💬 hal
Hemi: Real talk, though... carriages aren't THAT big. It's not like she made a pumpkin stretch limo or something!
Mal: And somewhere in Auradon, a princess gasped in horror and she has no idea why lol they aren't, but considering how big that pumpkin had to grow? Granted it WAS magic, so... she cheated.
text 💬 hal
Hemi: Sometimes I wish Hagrid was a real person so I could have a ‘biggest pumpkin’ contest with him at Halloween. He might be the only person in the world who could give me some real competition!
Mal: Pretty sure there's someone on campus who would bibbidi bobbidi take offense to that. I mean, we are talking about the lady responsible for turning a pumpkin into a carriage.
text ✉️ mal & elle
Elle: But I have EMOTIONS. I need to EXPRESS THEM. Also I like popcorn! Pls be kind!
Mal: You can do that WITHOUT crying all over the place! I believe in you! And I'm sorry, but popcorn's bad for babies, so that's a no :)
text ✉️ mal & felix
Mal: I have half a birthday cake and a twelve pack of beer. Are you coming over or what?
Mal: I know. Beer's not great. But it's what they had.