Free To Be V

A wise woman once told me, "If you want to stay clean and sober, I suggest you start talking about what's really going on in your life." This blog is a candid look into my life as a mother and a recovering alcoholic...

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7 Years!

Life has been very busy lately, and I honestly have written in a long time. I forgot how much I missed it. I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know that this past Saturday I celebrated 7 years sober! Holy crap, right?!? 🤪 I felt this was the perfect opportunity to write about and reflect on my recovery throughout these last 7 years. My anniversary is the most important day of my year,…

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Body Image

Today was the start of my new and improved health and fitness journey. Yep – here I go again. 😞 I am no longer calling it a diet, screw that – I’m calling it a “do-it-dammit!” 🤪 I have not been happy with my body for a VERY long time, and if I’m being perfectly honest I wasn’t even happy with it when I was thin. So this time, I am focusing on health and fitness – eating right and getting active –…

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Spelling Bee 🐝

My daughter won her school Spelling Bee last month which allowed her to advance to the District Spelling Bee where the age range went all the way up to 8th grade! She held her own, and was so confident. She made it into the top 12 spellers. Then it happened – she got one wrong, and just like that – she was out. She looked at me, with tears in her eyes, and said, “I am so sorry!” As a mother, I…

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Happy Holidays! ♥️

A quick year in review: For all of the things that went wrong in 2020, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on some of the things that went right! My family has stayed healthy. 🤞🤞Brad and I stayed employed. I was even promoted! 🤩I celebrated 6 years sober! 😎Brad and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary ♥️We were blessed with a new niece, Josie! And 2 new baby cousins we have yet…

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Quarantine Ramblings

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how this pandemic would have impacted my life if I were still drinking. I’ve ran a thousand different scenarios through my head and each one leads to the same result – I would not have survived this.

Isolation is dangerous for those who suffer with substance abuse disorders. We spend most of our lives trying to hide our addictions from the world, and…

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Celebrating 6 years! 💜

Today, I celebrate 6 years of recovery!!! 💝

I decided to take a hike this morning to allow myself some time to reflect on where I was 6 years ago, and where I am today. I am so grateful for my sobriety, and for the friends and family who have walked this path beside me. Thank you for holding me up when I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own.

This journey has been difficult at times,…

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Ramblings of a Chronic Worrier

The early morning ramblings of a chronic worrier…it’s exhausting!

What exhausts me is when my “inner-me” starts comparing itself to your “outer-you”. Does that make sense? 🤣

Quarantine has been difficult. I miss human connection – eye contact, smiles and the vulnerability of speaking truthfully to someone face to face.

I was talking with a good friend recently, and we were discussing…

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I’m Still Here! 🤪

I haven’t written in awhile.

I’m sorry for that. Life has been crazy and I’ve honestly just been in a funk for way too long.

It’s Friday night, and 6 months ago I would have just left the Milwaukee women’s prison after having a meeting with the ladies there. I would have just shared my experience, strength and hope with them. I would have just told them that despite their current…

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The Isolation Journal

I have to be honest guys, this isolation is starting to get to me. 😳 I love to laugh and make jokes, and I truly believe laughter is the best medicine and it’s been seeing me through this shit show so far, but sometimes I have a tendency to use humor as armor – to mask my true feelings. So right now, I am letting you all know that today, in this moment, I am not feeling ok with this – and that’s…

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I’m not Letting Her Go...I’m Letting Her Grow!

I’m not Letting Her Go…I’m Letting Her Grow!

My daughter turns 10 next week, and I seriously cannot believe it! How is it even possible that 10 years went by so quickly?!? 😰

This year I’ve seen my little girl begin to blossom into a strong, compassionate and independent young lady. As proud as this makes me feel as a mother, I’ve selfishly started to miss the days of carrying her in my arms! I literally CANNOT carry her anymore. I can’t do…

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When I’m Stuck in a Shame Sh*t Storm

We are leaving for vacation next, which should have me jumping for joy, but instead I’ve been sucked into a pretty massive tornado of self-loathing – a “self-shaming shit-storm”, if you will. 🤪

You see, I could tell you all day long that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Sure, I can talk about my addiction honestly and openly, but that’s only because I’ve…

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Trust Your Journey

When I started on this recovery journey I thought the only part of me that needed to change was the part of me that craved alcohol like I craved oxygen. The longer I stay sober, the list of things I need to work on seems to be getting longer and longer each day. You see, the alcohol was just a symptom – it was a quick fix for what was really broken – me! Over the years, I taught myself to use it…

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Peeling Back the Layers

I’ve been hesitant to share this one. This one hurts…a lot. And although I would love to tell you that I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me, that wouldn’t be entirely true. Some days I care more than others, but I still fear judgment. I am human, after all.

Since I’ve started sharing my story, I have always tried to be unapologetically honest in hopes of helping others, so when deciding…

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Busy! Busy! Busy!

Life gets busy! Lately, I’ve been extra busy! My October calendar was FULL! Each day seemed to be filled with appointments, commitments, parties, recovery events/meetings and family gatherings. I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed! I kept wondering when I would ever actually get time to myself to just relax, or cleanup, or write or just…breath!

I was starting to feel as if life in…

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Celebrating 5 years!

Today, I celebrate 5 years living in recovery! It feels incredible 🙌🏻💜😎🙌🏻

When I started this journey, I didn’t believe I was capable of long-term recovery. I had tried and failed for many years. I was exhausted – physically, mentally, spiritually. The progression of my disease had been slow at first, but at the ripe old age of 30 I had become so addicted to alcohol, I would have rather died than…

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Busy Brain

It’s getting busy in my brain again.

I feel a storm coming on, but instead of hail it’s raining ping pong balls inside my head. This might sound ridiculous at first, but can you even imagine? My thoughts, my worries, they bounce around in there for days – ping…ping…ping – It’s a constant barrage of unanswerable questions and visions of a life that might never even materialize.

These thoughts can…

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